Chapter 14
SAMANTHA
There was a knock on the hotel-room door. I looked through the peephole to be sure it was Medusa. Like it would be anyone else. I pulled open the door and looked in the hallway to make sure no one else was around.
“No one is going to be suspicious about me coming to your door,” she said.
“I’m freaking out,” I said.
“Why don’t you pee on the stick before you freak out?” she said. “Then we’ll decide what level of panic you need to be at.”
She held out a paper bag. I didn’t know if I wanted to take it. Taking it would give me an answer. I wasn’t sure I was prepared for what that answer might be.
“It doesn’t bite,” she said.
“It might.” I sighed and took the bag. “Thank you so much for doing this. I don’t know what I would do without you. I can’t believe I’m in this situation at all. I feel ridiculous. I’m way too old for this nonsense.”
“It happens,” she said. “I’m glad I can be here for you. It’s nice to have another woman on the tour. A woman that isn’t afraid to just be normal around me. I love hanging with the guys, but I miss the girl talk.”
“Thank you for not making me do this alone.” I sighed. “Would you believe this is the first time I’ve ever had to take one of these tests?”
“Really?”
“Really,” I said. “I’ve always been careful. I’ve never been reckless a day in my life.”
“I guess there’s always a first.” She laughed. “I’m honored to get to be a part of this first.”
“Not me,” I groaned.
“Go.” She waved me toward the bathroom. “The longer you stand here holding the bag, the worse you’re making it for yourself. There may not even be anything to worry about. Take the test and we’ll figure it out once you know.”
“What if it’s too soon?” I mused.
“From what I know, these are really accurate. If it’s negative, then you wait another week and take another if you feel like you might be. But for now, just go take the test.”
I groaned and looked up at the ceiling. “Fine.”
I went into the bathroom, quickly read through the instructions, and peed on the stick. It wasn’t exactly rocket science. I put the test on the counter, washed my hands, and left the bathroom without looking at it.
“Well?” Medusa asked.
“I don’t know.”
“It was inconclusive?” she asked.
“No. I mean, I don’t know. I didn’t look at it.”
“Do you want me to look at it?” she asked.
I laughed. “As long as you don’t tell me.”
“That’ll work well.” She laughed and walked into the bathroom.
I gritted my teeth together and closed my eyes. I waited for her to tell me the results. She said nothing. “Well?” I asked.
“Do you want me to tell you?”
“Yes!”
“It’s positive,” she answered. Her voice was even. Calm really. But it sounded like screeching in my ears.
“Positive,” I whispered.
She held the test up in front of me. “Positive.”
“Oh my God,” I breathed. The word sank in. “Positive. I’m pregnant.”
“Why don’t we sit down?” she said and pulled me to a chair.
I flopped into the chair. I was in shock. I felt numb and scared and, oddly enough, excited. “Pregnant. I’m pregnant.”
“Hey, you have options. You are a mature woman who can decide how to move forward. This doesn’t have to be the end of anything.”
“I can’t believe I’m pregnant,” I murmured. “This is crazy. Just insane!”
“Are you able to talk to the father of the child?” she asked. “He can help you decide what to do.”
“I’m able to talk to the father, but I don’t think I want to,” I told her.
“Is he a bad guy? One-nighter? Is he back home?”
“He’s not a bad guy, but it was a one-night thing,” I answered. “It wasn’t supposed to be anything more than that. That one night shouldn’t have happened at all.”
“Is he married?” she asked.
“No!” I gasped. “Definitely not.”
“Involved?”
I shook my head. “No. Nothing like that.”
She frowned. “So, you just don’t like him.”
“It’s not that,” I sighed.
“Do you want to tell me who the father is?” she asked gently.
“I can’t,” I whispered.
She was quiet for a moment. “You can’t because I know him.”
I bit my lower lip. “Yes.”
“Oh, please don’t make me guess,” she groaned.
I wanted to tell her, but I was the one who demanded he tell no one. They were friends first. I didn’t want to come between that friendship. This was the kind of thing that caused people to take sides. I wasn’t really one of them. I was an outsider along for the ride.
“I can’t say,” I said.
“No, you won’t say,” she said with obvious displeasure.
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s fine. You don’t have to tell me. I’ll help any way I can. If you plan on staying with us through November, you might start to show if you decide you’re going through with this. I can help cover for you with the morning sickness as much as I can.”
She was a good friend. My only friend, if I was being honest. “If I start showing, it’s going to be bad.”
“Why?”
“Because the father would know,” I said.
“Because he’s traveling with us,” she said. “He’s part of the crew. Is it that guy from the comms unit? He’s cute. I saw him checking you out.”
“I have no idea who you are talking about,” I said.
“Okay, well, there are plenty of options,” she said. “Are you seriously going to make me go through the entire roster?”
“No.”
“Okay, okay,” she said. “I’m not going to push. Should I order you some dinner? You need to keep your strength up.”
“I don’t know if I should eat,” I said. “I don’t think I’m up for another round with the porcelain god.”
“Maybe something light, like toast or crackers,” she suggested. “You’re one of those lucky ladies that gets to have all-day sickness.”
“Oh, don’t tell me that,” I groaned. “I’m hoping it’s just a one-time thing. That was very unpleasant.”
“My friend used to keep ginger ale and crackers in her purse,” she said.
“I know nothing about being pregnant,” I blurted out. “How am I this old and have no knowledge of pregnancy? I know nothing!”
“Relax,” she said. “Women have been doing this for a while. There’s the internet and a million books. You’re going to be just fine. You’re a smart woman. I’m here. I don’t know much about any of it either, but I’ll do what I can to help you.”
“Thank you. This is just crazy. I am so glad you’re here. I would be losing my mind.”
“Of course.”
I stared at the test sitting on the table. The evidence was right in front of me. I couldn’t ignore it. One night. One time. Damn he must be potent. He should have come with a warning label.
“Mitch,” I said the name.
Medusa looked at me. “What?”
I stared at her. I couldn’t say the words altogether. I raised an eyebrow and purposely looked at the stick and then back at her.
“No!” She slapped a hand over her mouth. “Mitch! Dice!”
“Shh,” I hissed.
“Wow. That is—oh my God. Dice!”
“I know,” I groaned.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You just surprised me.”
“No one knows,” I said. “It was just one time.”
“Wow.”
She was not really making me feel any better.
The way she was looking at me was just making it worse.
She knew him and was having this reaction.
Everyone else on the squad would probably have the same expression.
They’d be looking at me like I was trying to trap him.
There was him and then there was me. I was not the kind of woman that hooked up with Mitch.
I was certainly not the kind of woman that had his baby.
“This is bad, right?” I asked. “He’s going to freak out.”
She opened her mouth and then closed it again. “I’m sorry,” she said.
“For?”
“I feel like I should be offering you words of encouragement and stuff like that. I’m just stunned. Dice being a daddy is not something I ever imagined. It’s hard to picture him changing diapers and carrying a diaper bag.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I said.
“What happened?” she asked. “Was it really one time?”
“It was,” I said. “Just once.”
“Damn, I always figured he would be the safe type,” she said.
“It happened fast,” I said. “I don’t think either of us really thought much about anything.”
She was grinning. “I’ve heard he has that effect on women.”
“Do I tell him?” I asked.
“Oh no.” She shook her head. “I cannot get in the middle of this.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again. “I shouldn’t have told you at all. It’s not your problem. This is all mine. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it. I know he’s your friend.”
“Hey,” she said and grabbed my hand. “You’re my friend too. I’m saying I don’t want to get in the middle, but I’m still here for you. And although I should not be butting my big nose in, I would have to say telling him seems like the right thing to do. You guys have a lot to talk about.”
“We do,” I said. “But I don’t want to.”
She laughed. “Understandable. It would definitely be an awkward conversation.”
“Thanks,” I said and laughed for the first time. “That’s helpful.”
“Since you know for sure it was him and it only happened one time, how far are you?” she asked.
“Four weeks, give or take a day or two.”
“Okay, then you’ve got some time,” she said. “Assuming you’re not tossing your cookies every ten minutes.”
“Thanks,” I sighed. “I guess I better do some research on this little situation. Ask me how to build an F-18, I can tell you without even looking at a manual. Ask me anything about pregnancy and I know nothing.”
“Do you have family at home to help you?” she asked.
“My dad,” I said. “I know he’ll be happy to have a grandchild, but I think he might end up being just a little disappointed in me for not being smarter. I should have known better.”
“But sometimes these are the best little surprises,” she said.
“Thanks.”
“Can I get anything for you?” she asked. “I need to shower.”
“No thanks,” I said. “You have done more than enough. Thank you again for saving my ass. That situation could have been very bad. The last thing I need is to show weakness in front of those people. They already think I’m an outsider.
If I start getting sick in front of them, they’ll never trust me. ”
“Hey, you’re not an outsider. You’re one of us. We all love you. We know you’re one of the people keeping us safe.”
“I appreciate that,” I said.
I walked her to the door. Before she left, she gave me a quick hug. “You’re going to be okay. If you need anything, just call my room. I can run down and get you crackers or whatever you need.”
“I’m good. But thanks.”
After she left, I went back to the table and stared at the test like it was a venomous snake. Pregnant. I was pregnant. I snatched the test from the table and dropped it in the trash. I needed a minute to think. I had to process this.
My life would never be the same.