Chapter 38
HUDSON
Iwalked through the door with the two bags of groceries in my hand.
It felt good to drive. I had not owned a car since I was eighteen.
I had given my car to Teresa when I entered the Navy.
Since then, it didn’t make sense to own a car just to keep in storage.
Having wheels gave me freedom. I unpacked the groceries, leaving the steaks on the counter.
Natalie thought I was playing hooky. I told her I needed to go home early to accept delivery of a chair I ordered.
The chair arrived days ago, but she had not been to my house in over a week.
I understood why. Her home was far more comfortable.
She had a bed and furniture and, most importantly, dishes.
But what she didn’t know was I had dishes now as well.
I had been on a bit of an online shopping spree.
My apartment was almost a real home. The only thing missing was a few throw pillows, candles, and pictures.
Those were things I couldn’t quite bring myself to buy.
Mostly because I had zero idea what to choose.
I was hoping to get her to go shopping with me this weekend.
I knew she would love fixing up my place.
To butter her up for a weekend together, I was making her a steak dinner.
She’d been making dinner almost every night this week.
I wanted to treat her to a meal I prepared.
She deserved to be pampered after putting up with me for the last two weeks.
Tonight, I was hoping she would stay the night at my place.
I bought wine to go with our meal. Two bottles, just in case.
I pulled out the two candles that didn’t match.
It was all the grocery store had. I lit them, inhaling the scent of vanilla from one and something citrus in the other.
Then I quickly washed a couple of the potatoes and popped them in the oven.
I knew she suspected I didn’t know how to cook.
Technically, I didn’t, but I could make steak and potatoes.
Every time we came back from a mission or a long deployment, I craved steak and potatoes.
It was either learn how to cook my favorite meal or spend fifty bucks at an overpriced stuffy restaurant.
After putting the steaks in my secret marinade, I put them in the fridge and went to take a shower.
It had taken close to two months, but I was finally starting to feel like I was home.
I’d been out on one other search and rescue mission.
It wasn’t nearly as exciting as the first, but I was glad to have that in my back pocket.
But this weekend, I was totally off. It was my weekend free.
It was probably a little weird I was hoping there wouldn’t be an exciting call.
I dressed in a pair of jeans and a blue T-shirt with NAVY in block letters. Natalie gave me shit about wearing my khaki everything every day. That was something else I had been working on—expanding my wardrobe. It was slowly growing, but I found myself leaning toward khaki and blue all the time.
I had just slapped on some aftershave when I heard the doorbell. “Hi,” I answered.
“Damn,” she said and clucked her tongue. “Do you have a hot date or what?”
“What, this old thing?” I joked.
She leaned up on her toes and buried her nose in my neck. “Damn, you smell good. Is this a seduction? I should have told you I’m a sure thing. After that little incident in my office before you left, I would have shown up naked if I didn’t think I would be seen.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. “Get in here.”
“Did you get your chair?” she asked.
“I did, but I actually got it a couple days ago. I left early because I wanted to run by the store to get what I needed to make you dinner.”
She looked at me with surprise. “You’re making me dinner?”
“Steak, potatoes, and a Caesar salad. The salad is from a bag, but I’m making the steak.”
She slid her arms around my waist. “That’s so sweet. What’s the special occasion?”
“You,” I answered. “I wanted to thank you for sticking by me. For supporting me and just being amazing.”
“You are so sweet,” she said, smiling.
“I got wine,” I said. “I opened it and let it breathe. I’ll pour you a glass.”
“Gee, I feel so overdressed,” she said, laughing.
“Get naked.”
She took the glass and sipped the wine. “Yummy,” she said.
“Have a seat,” I said.
“Can I look around?” she asked.
“Please.”
She ran her hand over the chair. “Ooh, this is nice,” she cooed. “And look at your TV.”
“Check out my bed,” I told her.
“Is that a pickup line?” she said, laughing. She disappeared into the bedroom. She came back into the kitchen. “I love it. You have been busy. You didn’t tell me you did all this.”
“When I’m home alone at night, I get on that damn computer and let my fingers do the shopping,” I said. “Open the cupboard.”
She did so. “You have dishes!”
“I have dishes,” I said. “I was wondering if you were going to be free tomorrow?”
“For?”
“I would love your input on home décor,” I said.
She burst into laughter. “That is not a statement I would have thought I would hear from you.”
“I want to make it homey and comfortable like your place,” I said.
“I would love to go shopping with you,” she said, smiling. “I need some new fall decorations myself.”
We chatted while I cooked. It was very easy to just talk to her. She made me feel normal. We sat down at the table to enjoy the meal. I watched as she took her first bite of steak. “What do you think?” I asked.
“So good,” she moaned. “It melts in my mouth. You are making me feel like a lousy cook.”
“Steak is the only thing I actually cook,” I told her. “Trust me, you’re a much better cook.”
“Thank you,” she said and took a drink. “Thank you for dinner and all this.”
“You’re welcome,” I said. “It’s the least I can do to thank you for all the help you’ve given me.”
“Do you feel settled?” she asked.
“I’m getting there,” I said, nodding.
“Do you see yourself living here for good?” she questioned.
“I don’t know,” I answered. “Do you?”
“Absolutely,” she said. “I want to raise a family here. It’s a great place to grow up. I loved growing up here. We live in a favorite tourist destination. We get to be here all year round. How awesome is that?”
“How many kids are in this family you want to raise?” I asked.
“Eight.”
I stared at her. I had no words. I knew how old she was, and I had a pretty good grasp of biology. Eight kids would be a very lofty goal for anyone. For someone in their thirties, I was thinking it might be impossible. “I see.”
“I’m kidding,” she said, laughing. “Realistically, I would like at least two, possibly three. I guess it’s up to God.”
“Whew,” I breathed. “You had me worried for a second.”
“What about you?” she questioned. “How many kids do you want?”
“I don’t know,” I said, shrugging. “I’ve never thought about it. But a couple little ankle biters might not be a bad thing.”
“I want a house on the beach,” she said.
“There would be a nice, grassy front yard and the back would open to the beach. I would have my own private access. My parents always said they were going to retire to a little bungalow on the beach. I want something more substantial, but on the beach for sure.”
“Did you want that house on the beach a year ago?” I asked.
“You know, I did, but in my mind, the house was on the beach without water.”
I had to laugh. “Sounds reasonable.”
“I want a covered porch with rocking chairs. I’m going to sit out on the porch and watch the sun go down every night.”
“Alone?” I asked.
“Preferably not.”
“Am I in that future?” I asked. “Is there room on that porch for me in my rocker?”
“Absolutely,” she said with a pretty blush. “If you want a seat, it will be there for you.”
“And your husband won’t mind?” I teased.
“Very funny.”
“Would our kids be military?” I asked. I just slid right into the daddy role.
“If they chose to follow in their father’s footsteps, then I guess that’s their decision,” she replied without missing a beat.
“Although I’m going to make them all sailors.
We’re going to have our own twenty-four-foot sailboat tied up at our private dock.
We’ll go sailing on the weekends and I’ll teach them all there is to know about sailing. ”
“That’s ambitious,” I said with a smile. “You’re going to be knocked up for the next ten years. It’s going to be hard for you to find time to sail.”
“Trust me, I’ll find the time to do both.”
“What happens when I lose my hair?” I asked. “Would you still let me sit on your porch?”
“I will let you sit on my porch when I’m having to feed you mushy foods,” she said. “When we’re both toothless and hard of hearing, we’ll sit out on the porch eating our oatmeal and shouting at each other to be heard.”
“Oh shit,” I said, laughing. “That’s one hell of an image.”
“My boobs will need a belt to keep them off my knees, and I’ll be hunched over, but I’m still going to drag my ass to the beach.”
“I’ll happily carry your boobs for you,” I volunteered.
“Oh, that’s a look,” she said with a laugh.
“The kids are going to come by every week and try to stuff us in a retirement home so they can have the house,” I said. “They’ll ship us off, throw away all our trinkets, and never visit.”
“Damn kids. I am going to die on my beach,” she said defiantly. “I will run away from the old folks home.”
“Not without me,” I said.
She reached for my hand. I grabbed hers and squeezed. “On that happy note, I’m going to get the bottle of wine.”
While she refilled our glasses, I stared at her hands. One day, those hands would be wrinkled and covered in age spots. Her body would be different, but she would still be the woman she was right now.
“Everything okay?” she asked when she caught me staring.
“Yes,” I said, nodding. “I was just trying to picture you old.”
“Oh lord, don’t do that. Let’s not borrow wrinkles.”
“Do you know I never pictured myself old?” I said. “I never imagined myself being an old, bald man.”
“I don’t know if anyone really fantasizes about being old,” she said. “I think we all want to be old, but we don’t dwell on what all those years mean for our poor bodies.”
I slowly shook my head. “No. I never imagined me living a long life. Part of me always assumed I would die in combat. Some of the shit that happened lent to that idea. We all wanted to go home at the end of a mission, but we also accepted there was a high probability we wouldn’t.
We wanted it, but it was also risky to think too hard on it. ”
“You’re home, and if I have anything to say about it, you’re going to live a long life. You’re going to lose your hair, teeth, hearing, and maybe even your sight. But you will be here.”
“Make sure you pass that on up the line,” I told her. “I’m not sure that’s something you can order.”
“I can,” she said with a nod. “I’ll make damn sure of it.”