Chapter 43
NATALIE
Iquietly let myself into the office. I was the first one to arrive, which had been my goal.
I let myself into my office and closed the door behind me.
I knew what Hux wanted me to do, but I was not going to be run out of my office.
We were adults. We could work in the same building.
It wasn’t like we hated each other. At least I didn’t hate him.
Work was my distraction. If I was at home, what was I going to do, stare at the walls all day?
No thanks. I preferred to stay busy. I did all the cleaning I could do yesterday.
There wasn’t much else I could clean. Coming in today was a way for me to start taking the next steps.
This was me moving on. There was no point in wallowing and waiting for things to get better.
I wasn’t going to beg him to be with me. I had some pride.
“Nat?” Hux opened my door. “What are you doing here?”
“Working.”
“I thought you were going to take a couple days off?” he asked.
“No, you said I should. I don’t want to. This is my job. I’m not going to let a breakup stop my life. I was fine without him before. I’ll be fine again.”
“Okay,” he said, nodding. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine,” I said, shrugging. “I’m working.”
“I’ll leave you alone.”
“Thanks.” He started to close the door. “Wait!”
“What is it?”
“Is he here?” I asked quietly.
“He’s in the shop,” he said, nodding.
“Is he okay?”
“From what I can see, he’s fine,” he replied.
“Good,” I said and forced a smile.
I was a terrible person for wanting him to be just a little miserable. I supposed there was a little part of me that hoped he would come in and beg me to forgive him. I was hoping he would say he had time to think about it and he made a mistake. Please come back.
“Fat chance,” I muttered.
I focused on my work. At least, I tried.
I heard his voice outside my door once. My heart clenched, hoping he would come in and talk to me.
I missed him stopping in to say hi. It was so strange to be near him but so far away.
The whole time we were together, I really thought I was taking it slow.
I believed I was protecting my heart. I now realized that was not the case.
I had fallen for the man. I fell hard for the wrong man.
“Excuse me?”
I looked up to see one of the shop guys with his head in my doorway. “Yes?”
“We’re ready to move on to the next phase on the sloop,” he said. “Can we get your okay?”
I gnawed on my lower lip. Going into the shop should not scare me. I did it all the time. My job included checking the progress and signing off before they moved on to the next phase. “I’ll be right there,” I said.
Yes, I took a minute to check out my appearance in the mirror I carried in my purse. I wasn’t about to see Hudson when I looked like shit. He was going to look at me and regret booting me out—I hoped.
I walked into the shop with my head held high.
Hudson was talking with one of the guys.
I knew he saw me. He looked directly at me but went right back to his conversation.
He acted like he didn’t know me. That hurt.
I didn’t let it slow me down. I went about my business just like I normally would.
I checked out the work and gave the guys the approval to move ahead.
On my way back to the office, I couldn’t help but look his way. He was still talking with the same man. He didn’t look my way. Not even once. I made it to my office before the first tear fell.
I never expected it to hurt this much. It was clear the feelings in the now defunct relationship were very one sided. I had been fooling myself. All that talk about growing old together was bullshit. He was playing with me. He never had any intention of settling down.
I wiped the tears, took a deep breath, and pulled myself together. I reached for the phone and pushed the button for my mom. “Hi,” I said when she answered.
“How are you?” she asked. “Feeling better?”
“No.”
“Did you make your decision?” she asked softly.
There was a lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. “Yes,” I managed to get out.
“Should I make the call?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Hang in there,” she encouraged. “Everything is going to be okay. I’ll see you soon.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
I ended the call and once again had to take a minute to pull myself together. My heart hurt. It was a physical pain I had never experienced before. Losing my dad had been painful, but it was a different kind of pain. Hudson was a living, breathing man that didn’t want me. It almost hurt more.
After collecting myself, I went across the hall to Huxley’s office.
I knocked on the door, only to find he wasn’t inside.
I was hoping to avoid going up front. The last thing I wanted to do was see customers.
I heard Hux laugh and wanted to scream. It pissed me off that everyone else was happy and going on with their lives like it wasn’t a big deal.
“Huxley,” I said.
He turned with a smile on his face that faded when he saw me. “What?”
“I need to talk to you.”
I walked into his office without waiting for an answer. He joined me. “Sit, please,” I said.
He sat behind his desk. “What’s going on?” he asked.
“I want you to know I’ve had some time to think about this,” I started. “This wasn’t an easy decision, but it is the right decision.”
“What?” he asked.
I pulled my keys from my pocket and put them on his desk. “I’m leaving.”
He frowned and looked at the keys, and then back at me. “What do you mean you’re leaving?”
“I’m quitting.”
“You can’t quit.” He chuckled. “You’re a partner.”
“You have a new partner.”
“Woah, wait,” he said and put up his hands. “You’re quitting because of Hudson?”
“Not because of him,” I said.
“Bullshit. You are too. You are my partner.”
“I know you have always wanted to go into business with your brother,” I told him. “You’ve been waiting for him to get out of the military so you could. I was a seat holder. He’s here now. Things are running smooth. You are on the right track.”
“We’re on no track without your boats,” he said.
“You’ve got enough blueprints to keep you busy for the next year,” I told him.
“You were my partner first,” he said. “I’ll talk to Hudson. He can work out of his place. There’s no reason he needs to be here in the building.”
“No.” I shook my head. “My mind is made up. I’m leaving.”
“And what are you going to do?”
“I have plans,” I said.
“Look, I didn’t realize this thing with you and Hudson was so big,” he said. “Why don’t you take a week or two off? Take some time. We can run things while you’re away.”
“I don’t need time off,” I said. “I’m leaving. I have to leave. I’m not saying I’ll be gone forever, but I need to go for a while.”
“Go where?” he asked. “You’re talking like you’re leaving town.”
“I am.”
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“I’m going to stay with my Aunt Linda for a while,” I answered.
He scowled and shook his head. “Your mom’s sister?”
“Yes.”
“Doesn’t she live in Idaho or something like that?” he asked.
“Montana,” I said, nodding.
His jaw dropped. “You’re going to Montana! For how long?”
“I’m not sure,” I said. “A few months maybe. She’s been begging me to go out for a visit. I think this is the right time. My mom is buying the tickets right now. We’ll fly out tonight.”
“What the fuck, Nat?”
He got to his feet and ran his hands through his hair like he always did when he was stressed out. I hated leaving him in the lurch, but I knew he would be okay.
“I’m not going to stay forever,” I told him. “I don’t think. But I need a change of scenery. I need to get away from here for a while.”
“I can’t believe you’re leaving me!”
“I’m not leaving you,” I assured him. “We’ll still talk every day. We’ll text and Skype.”
“But you have a job here,” he said. “We’ve got customers that request to work with you.”
“You know we’re filled up right now,” I said. “I can design from anywhere. It’s not going to get them built any faster. If a customer needs a boat right now, they can reach out. I can design from Montana. I don’t have to be here to do that.”
“But this is our business,” he said. “You love it here. Your family is here.”
“My mom will be with me,” I reminded him. “At least for a little while.”
“You know what I mean,” he said. “This is where your family legacy lives on. You love it here. How are you going to live in a landlocked state? You’ll dry up. You are not meant to live in the middle of nowhere. You have to be near the water.”
“Technically, that’s kind of a new thing,” I reminded him. “I’ve lived near the water forever, but I haven’t been in the water much in a long time. I need a change. I have to do this. I cannot stay here.”
“Because of him,” he said, sighing.
“Maybe. Maybe it’s just me realizing I’m going nowhere in my life. He made me see all the things I’ve been missing out on.”
“Like what?”
I smiled. “Life. Love. A future. What we have built here is amazing. I’m proud of that, but I think I’m ready to start looking for more.
Hudson and I joked around about having a family and growing old together.
I know he was just joking, but it made me start thinking about what I’m doing with my life.
I’m not getting any younger. I want to have kids.
I want to get married and have that house on the beach.
I do plan on coming back and getting that dream. ”
“What if you find some dude in Montana and end up living on a ranch with cows?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, then I guess that’s the way my life is supposed to go. I’m not fighting anything. I’m going with the flow. Fate is going to do what it’s going to do. If I’m going to find happiness with cows and wide-open spaces, then so be it. I can learn to milk a cow.”
He curled his lips. “I don’t see you doing that. Ever.”
“Stranger things have happened,” I said. “Give me a hug.”
He reluctantly did so. “I hate this,” he said. “I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
“When are you leaving?” he asked.
“Now.”
He let out a long sigh. “Call me when you get to Montana,” he said.
“I will. Take care of yourself. Take care of him, too.”
“I will,” he said. “I hope you change your mind and come right back.”
“Thanks, but I’m looking forward to a new scene. I haven’t traveled in a long time. I’m excited for a new adventure.”