Chapter 17
SANTIAGO
What I was doing was stupid. I’d intended on heading back to the Station just like I’d told her I was going to do, but as I took off, I saw those guys loitering near the door and some protective instinct had kicked in.
So I’d decided to wait and to follow her from a safe distance.
Out of sight but close enough that I could make sure she got out of this part of town without any trouble before I headed back to my place.
The plan had gone sideways. As soon as I’d realized they weren’t just about to let her go and had fallen into step behind her, I’d lost it. Then I’d sped up and now, I was holding her hand and dragging her toward the path that led down to the beach.
Why I was doing it, I didn’t know, but I needed to think of something to say and I needed to do it fast. “I love Lucky’s, but the only problem with it is that the locals sometimes try to take advantage of anyone who’s been singled out.”
“Where are we going?” she asked instead of responding, but she was still gripping my hand like she was afraid I would disappear if she eased up just a little bit.
“Somewhere I used to come as a cadet. There’s a pier down here no one ever uses. It’s just on the other side of the bend on the beach, so no one ever goes that far.”
“Okay, but why are we going there? I thought you were on your way back to the Station.”
So did I. “I was, but then I saw those guys and I wanted to make sure you got back safe. For now, we’re just going to hang out at the pier and give them some time to lose interest. I doubt they’ll come after you again if I stay with you, but you and I can’t really be seen together, and if we keep walking that way, someone is going to see us. ”
“Right,” she said slowly. “Good thinking. Okay. Do you really think we’ll get in trouble just for walking next to each other?”
I shrugged, but then I nodded. “We’re all on leave.
You’re wearing a sundress. You and I aren’t supposed to be anywhere near each other when we’re not on the Station.
If anyone sees us heading back from town together at sunset wearing civvies, they’re going to jump to conclusions.
The wrong conclusions, but that won’t stop the rumors that are bound to start. ”
“It really happens that easily?” she asked curiously. “I mean, I’ve heard that the grapevine here moves really fast, but is it seriously that bad?”
I winced. “The Station can feel very small sometimes. Our whole lives revolve around it. Trust me, when someone sees something they shouldn’t have seen, everyone finds out about it in less than a day.”
“Wow.” She whistled under her breath. Then we paused to take off our shoes when we reached the sand.
After finally releasing her hand, I put a foot or so of distance between us, carrying my flip-flops between my fingers as I led her to my spot. A spot I hadn’t shared with anyone. Ever. Not even Neil knew this was where I used to disappear to.
As I glanced out at the water, the sun was a giant orange ball of fire sinking slowly on the horizon and the waves rolled gently to shore. The briny scent of sea and sand hung in the air, and there was only the barest bit of a breeze when we walked around the bend.
The beach was still warm, the heat radiating off it as I pointed toward the old pier. It was half collapsed on one side, which now that I thought about it, would help hide us from view. Just the fact that I wanted to be hidden from view with her should’ve made me rethink this plan, but I didn’t.
As soon as I’d walked out of that bar, I’d realized that I wanted to spend more time with her, and even though I knew exactly how stupid this was, I wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity that had presented itself to do just that.
As soon as we sat down side by side on the warm sand, both of us facing the water and the spectacular sunset that was painting the sky in all sorts of warm pastel shades, she asked the one question I didn’t want to answer honestly.
“Why did you want to make sure that I got back safe? I’m not your problem when we’re not on the Station.”
“It’s my job to keep you safe,” I said, and at least it wasn’t a total lie. “Besides, outside of all this, my mother raised me right. She’d never have forgiven me if she knew that I thought you might be in danger and I took off anyway.”
“Thank you,” she said after a brief pause.
“Thank your mother for me, too. I’m not sure I was in any danger, but I hate it when that happens.
Some people know how to deal with it without getting uncomfortable, but I sure don’t.
I always just want to yell at people like that to leave me alone, but that only tends to excite them. ”
“Yeah, I hear you. It is an uncomfortable situation that no one deserves to be in. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who think it should be taken as a compliment.”
“No, what you said earlier about me being beautiful is a compliment. What those guys did is just plain creepy. I always wonder just how far they’re willing to go. Like, would they have followed me all the way back to the Station, or would they have gotten bored and left me alone halfway there?”
“They probably would’ve gotten bored. A lot of people around here obviously know that when you start heading toward the Station, you’re probably Coast Guard.
They’ll mostly leave you alone when they see that’s where you’re going, but they also know we’ve got cadets right now.
You’d be surprised at how many of them make a game out of terrorizing the newcomers. ”
She was silent for a beat, and when I glanced at her, I saw she’d pulled her knees up to her chest and draped her arms around them. Her loose hair danced in the breeze and her lips were slightly parted. Fuck, she really is beautiful. Damn it.
When she turned her head to look at me and found me already watching her, she smiled. “You’ve mentioned your mother twice today. I’m surprised. I thought they spawned you mean instructors right there in the Training Center.”
I laughed. “You’re one to talk. Your dad was my instructor. If you think I’m mean, you wouldn’t have survived training with him. I haven’t even made you cry once yet.”
“Fair enough,” she said. “You have made some of the others cry, though. Some of them call you Cruel Cortez behind your back.”
“If that’s the best they’ve come up with so far, then I obviously need to up my game this session. I must not have been hard enough on you guys just yet.”
“You want them to come up with something worse?”
I shrugged. “Some of the other groups have just been a little bit more creative than that, but let’s leave it there.”
“Why are we leaving so many things today?” she asked as she looked at me again. “Like earlier when I asked you if you were supposed to be meeting a female friend, you just said no and then told me we weren’t going there.”
“And yet, look at where we are right now,” I said. “It shouldn’t matter to you who I was meeting, Layla.”
“No, it shouldn’t,” I agreed. “I still want to know, though. You don’t have to be so mysterious all the time.”
“I’m not mysterious. I’m just not your friend.”
“Not yet,” she countered. “Once I graduate, you could be. Think of it as getting a head start on our friendship because I am going to graduate.”
“No doubt, but until I get you there, you’re still my cadet.”
A pleading gleam came into her eyes. “Just tell me, please? Tell me one real thing about you. Anything, but it’s got to be real and it can’t be anything about the Coast Guard.”
“Fine. I’ll tell you that I was going to meet Neil, my friend. He’s part of the military police and we trained together.”
“So you don’t have a girlfriend?”
I groaned and shook my head. “You said to tell you one thing, and I’ve told you one thing.”
“Sure, but now I’m asking you a different question.”
Deciding it was time to turn the tables, I looked deep into those spring-green eyes and cocked my head at her. “Why do you want to know?”
A faint pink blush colored her cheeks, and my heart flipped upside down in my chest. Ah, shit. She wants to know because she’s interested in me, and now I know it. Why the hell do I have to know it? Abort! Abort!
Instead of coming right out and saying it, she shrugged. “It’s just a question. Why don’t you want to answer it?”
“Because again, my personal life is none of your business.”
“No, it’s not,” she said, still staring at me before she bit the inside of her lower lip. “Do you want to know the truth?”
“Yes.” No! There was a right answer there, Cortez, and yes wasn’t it. “What’s the truth?”
She scooted toward me, tucking her hair behind her ears before lifting her eyes back to mine. “The truth is that I want to know if you’re going to be cheating on anyone if I kiss you right now.”
“I won’t be.” Fuck. Wrong answer. Again. Why am I doing this? Why am I not putting a stop to it? “Regardless, you shouldn’t kiss me.”
“I shouldn’t,” she agreed, but somehow, my head was moving forward and so was hers. Her gaze dropped to my lips, her mouth only inches away from mine. “I want to, though.”
“Jesus, Layla,” I breathed as I lowered my forehead to hers, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek and stroking the soft, warm skin there with my thumb. “What are you doing to me?”
“I don’t know,” she whispered as she flicked her gaze back up to mine, her hands creeping onto my leg that was pressed against hers. “I know what I want you to be doing to me, though.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
Her chest rose against my bicep as she took a deep breath. “Kiss me.”
“I can’t.” I also couldn’t back away from her. “We shouldn’t even be doing this, Layla.”
She hummed her agreement, her fingers wrapping around my thigh. They weren’t anywhere near my junk, but I sucked in a sharp breath anyway because her warm hand on my skin was doing shit to me it shouldn’t have. “Do you want to?”
“Yes, but I’m not going to.”
“If I kiss you, will you kiss me back?”
Fuck. “Probably.”
“Do you want to know something that’s going to make me sound so lame?”
“Please.”
Her eyes lit up as she smiled. “This is by far the sexiest thing I’ve ever done. The anticipation is killing me right now.”
A loud groan vibrated in my chest. “You’ve been killing me since the first time I saw you, and that wasn’t as lame as I was hoping it was going to be.”
“It wasn’t?”
I shook my head without lifting it away from hers. “Nope, but you’re anticipating something that’s not going to hap?—”
“Fuck it,” she whispered, then pressed her lips to mine and kissed me.
For a moment, I froze, but then my grip on her face tightened and I was kissing her harder instead of pushing her away.
Shit. I knew I should have put a stop to this, but I hadn’t done it. I couldn’t seem to help myself with her, but I also didn’t even try. The fact was that I’d wanted her since the first time I’d laid eyes on her, and if I stopped now, I was only going to leave both of us wanting more.
We were already kissing. I was already fucked. The best thing I could do right now was to follow through, to stay the course of this wherever it took us, and then to hope to everything that was holy that if we scratched this itch, it would finally go away.