Chapter 25
SANTIAGO
When I woke up with Layla still in my arms and I didn’t immediately try to get away, I knew I was getting in too deep with her. I didn’t want to let go of her, though. I didn’t want to slide my arm out from underneath her head or to extract my legs from hers.
Fuck. I’m in real trouble here.
I wanted to stay right where I was, and not just for the next few minutes, either. For the next few days at least. Weeks if I could, and months if she’d let me fall asleep and wake up next to her for that long.
Maybe even years, but that was the craziest thought I’d ever had. Both of our careers are on the line for this. Is it really worth that?
I lay there watching her sleep, with her dark eyelashes resting against her smooth, golden skin, and I had an even crazier thought. Because, yes. I think it just may be worth it.
While I wasn’t going to tempt fate and kiss her during training or anything stupid like that, I also wasn’t going to keep trying to push her away. I’d tried and failed. Twice now.
Obviously, it was time to try a different tactic, and maybe the best one was just to give in. I’d been fighting against that instinct for too long, and as I lay in my bed in the master bedroom, overlooking the sea as the sun rose slowly into the sky, I didn’t want to fight it anymore.
Fuck me for even thinking this, but it’s time to acknowledge that I lost this fight a long time ago. Weeks ago, even. Maybe as far back as that first run when I’d let myself look at her for much too long.
As the room slowly started becoming lighter, the rays of the rising sun warming the space and creating a soft, otherworldly glow, I sighed.
Because this was it. This was the moment I was going to stop resisting.
Again, not in a stupid, grand romantic gesture right on the Station way, but in a way that was much more dangerous.
In a way that was much too real. All because I wanted to be with her and I was done with the we shouldn’t be doing this part of our story. We both knew we shouldn’t be doing it, and we were doing it anyway.
As I watched, a lazy, sleepy smile touched the corners of Layla’s lips, and those eyes blinked open and immediately found mine. “You’re thinking so loudly, it woke me up.”
“Nah, it wasn’t the thinking. It was probably the staring.” Damn, I love her waking up to me way too much.
Leaning forward, I bent my head and stole a kiss, not even bothered in the least about the fact that neither of us had brushed our teeth yet. After that, I stole another kiss, letting my lips linger against the soft plushness of hers as I hummed at the back of throat.
“You do know you’re going to be the death of me, right?”
Her smile widened as she wrapped a warm hand around the back of my neck and nodded against my forehead. “At least you’ve already had a good, illustrious career with the Coast Guard. They’ll make a spectacle of your funeral.”
I chuckled, just breathing her in for a moment before I managed to lift my head away from hers. “What do you want to do today? We could stay right here, but I doubt you asked to come here for the weekend just to stay in bed.”
“We could go for breakfast?” she suggested before she blinked the thought away. “Actually, never mind. We probably can’t risk being seen together.”
“If it’s breakfast you want, it’s breakfast you’ll get. We’re hours away from Station and no one who lives around here could out me. I don’t even think they know what I do for a living. They don’t really know me at all. I haven’t been able to spend much time here since I bought the place.”
“So we can really go out together?” she asked, a hint of excitement creeping into her voice. I smiled. Clearly, this made her happy and I wanted to do that. Since I was past the I shouldn’t phase now, I didn’t even think about it along those lines.
Realistically, I shouldn’t have wanted to make her happy but I wanted to anyway. So fuck it…
“Let’s go get some breakfast,” I said as I finally rolled away from her and got out of bed.
I let her hit the shower first, despite her attempts to get me to join her, and I grabbed one once she was done.
The girl wanted breakfast and showering together definitely wasn’t going to get us there any faster.
I took her to a local roadside diner down the beach that was nestled between a small coastal street and the sand, and she smiled at me when we walked in. “This is perfect. It’s so quaint.”
“Everything around here is quaint.” I didn’t resist catching her hand and pulling her into me to brush a kiss to her temple. “The food is great and the view is even better. Want to get a seat by the window?”
“Yes.” She rested her head against my shoulder for a beat while we walked, then straightened up again to point at a table in the corner. “That one?”
“Looks good to me.” We sat down and got handed menus by a kind but mercifully disinterested server who hurried away again right after he gave them to us.
Why he was hurrying, though, I didn’t know.
There were only two other tables in the place that were occupied, but when he came back carrying a pot of coffee, I grinned. “Thanks, man.”
He nodded at me as he filled our mugs. “You’re welcome. I’ll be back to take your orders.”
Then he left and Layla turned to me, her head lowering slightly to one side as she made a study of my face. “You’re different here. Much more smiley. It’s funny, but for those first few weeks, I didn’t think you were capable of smiling at all, and now look at you.”
I chuckled as I leaned back in my chair. “No one would be scared of an instructor who smiled all the time. It’s an occupational hazard. We need to get your attention to make you fall in line before we show any humanity.”
“Well, you certainly did that,” she said. “Now that we’re here, though, I’m looking forward to getting to know this side of you. I think I like you relaxed, unless of course you’re about to tell me to drop and give you twenty.”
“Well, I want you to give me something, but it’s not push-ups,” I joked. “If you’re offering to get down on the ground, I’d rather have you stop on your knees.”
Her brows twitched up and her cheeks turned a rosy pink. “Really? Here?”
I shrugged. “Maybe not right here, but they’ve got unisex restrooms in the back if you’re interested.”
“Public unisex restrooms,” she emphasized the word before her eyes widened. “Oh. I get it. You’re kinky that way. First the pier and now the restrooms.”
“The pier wasn’t on me, but sure. If you want to call it being kinky, I won’t stop you. The way I see it, there isn’t always a bedroom available nearby, and if it’s got to happen, it’s got to happen.”
“It’s never got to happen.” She giggled as she tucked a lock of dark hair behind her ear.
I shrugged again. “I beg to differ. There are definitely times when it’s got to happen. The pier was one of those times.”
Chest rising on a deep breath, she looked back at me for a long moment before she nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m not sure what I would’ve done if it hadn’t happened. There’s not much privacy in the dorms and I could’ve run twenty miles that night and still not have run it off.”
“Same,” I agreed easily. “On a note that’s less likely to make me want to drag you into said restrooms, how’re you doing with the program? Is it everything you were hoping it would be?”
The lust cleared from her eyes as she switched gears.
“Absolutely. It’s been amazing so far. It’s like I can feel myself getting stronger from one day to the next.
Every simulation is easier than the one before it.
The longer we’re in the program, the more I can really see myself doing this for a living. ”
“You didn’t see yourself doing it for a living before?”
A smile touched her lips. “Well, I did, but it was like it was never actually going to happen, you know? Other kids were dreaming of becoming astronauts and rock stars, and all I ever wanted was to be part of search and rescue. The difference is that the other kids eventually realized they needed to chase more realistic dreams, but I didn’t.
Now, it’s so close that I can almost taste it and it feels a little surreal that it’s really happening. ”
Passion ignited behind those soft green eyes, and I found myself wanting to crawl into them.
Into her. “You are close now, but you need to be careful. I know exactly how you’re feeling.
Like you’re invincible. Like it’s all finally coming together and nothing we throw at you is going to bring you down.
Getting caught up in that feeling is dangerous. ”
“Look at you, harshing my vibe,” she said playfully. “I’ll be careful. I know it’s dangerous to get cocky, but at the same time, I also know that I can do this. Maybe I’ll get knocked down a peg or two, but I’m at the point where I know that if it happens, I’ll get back up again.”
“I remember that feeling,” I mused. “It’s idealistic, but sure. It’s what you’re feeling right now. I can’t and won’t take it away from you. Just promise me you’ll be careful, okay?”
“I’ll be careful,” she said dutifully. “What about you, Master Chief Cortez? Will you be careful?”
“I always am. Why, are you worried about me?”
She rocked her head from side to side before she shot me a teasing smile. “Maybe I am. What you do for a living is pretty dangerous.”
No, I wanted to say. What’s dangerous is this. Us. Because if you’re ever in trouble, I’m going to be right there, throwing caution to the wind and disregarding my own safety so long as it means you’ll be okay. “Let’s just promise each other we’ll be careful and move on.”
Our server came back to take our order, and once he was gone again, I focused on Layla. “I feel like we’ve skipped a few steps. Here we are, putting our careers on the line to be together and worrying about each other, but I don’t even know your favorite color.”
“It’s pink,” she said, then hid a giggle behind her hand when my eyebrows rose. “What? I can be bad ass and feminine at the same time.”
“Sure, you can. I just wasn’t expecting it.”
“What’s your favorite color?”
I thought about it before I responded. “These days, I think it’s orange.”
“Orange?” she repeated incredulously. “That’s not possible. Orange isn’t anyone’s favorite color.”
“Well, not like a bright orange. A soft orange. Like the sunset. If I can see it, it means I’ve survived another day.”
“That’s not grim at all.”
We debated the merits of my answer for a while, but I didn’t change my mind. What I’d said was true, and while blue used to be my favorite color, it definitely wasn’t anymore.
Eventually, our server brought our food and we kept exchanging basic information while we ate, and when we were done, she turned to look out the window. “So, what else is there to do around here?”
“We could go fishing,” I said. “It’s another one of my favorites. There’s no better way to unwind.”
“I’m all about that,” she replied immediately. “I love fishing. Let’s do it.”
“Let’s do it,” I agreed before dropping a few bills on the table.
She tried to pay for her own meal, but I refused to let her. If we were doing this, I was doing it right. At least, right according to me. According to the way my mother raised me.
After getting the fishing gear, we drove out to the lake and I felt the serene grin that spread on my lips as soon as the shimmering, quiet surface of the water came into view. Layla let out a happy sigh next to me, then ruined the moment by poking me in the ribs.
It was the only ticklish spot I had, and I nearly shot through the roof when she touched it.
Doubling over with laughter, she shook her head at me when I glanced at her again.
“I can’t believe you’re that ticklish. Big, bad, search-and-rescue instructor and you can’t take a little pressure to the ribs? ”
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop the laughter that came out of me in turn. “We’ve all got our weaknesses.”
“Yeah,” she agreed as she turned back to the water. “Speaking of which, how many women have you brought here?”
“None until now, I guess. I don’t have a weakness for women, Layla.” I didn’t think I had to add that I definitely had a weakness for her. It spoke for itself, and I wasn’t about to toss that monkey wrench into the works while we were here to relax.
Things were serious enough in our real lives. The last thing we needed was to take this short amount of time we had to get away from it and turn it into a deep, meaningful conversation about our feelings. Or, God forbid, a conversation about defining our relationship.
I was good with where we were. For now, I was just hoping she felt the same.