Chapter 37
MITCHELL
We carried our sack of snacks and sodas into her room.
We were planning an evening in. I was looking forward to spending an evening with her.
There was no pressure to do anything more than just be together.
I didn’t have to rush to get her to bed because there was time.
We were together. We had plenty of time.
We climbed into bed and leaned against the headboard with our snacks laid out.
She’d put on some soft pajamas. I stripped to my briefs and T-shirt.
This was a nice way to spend a Saturday night.
I would prefer to do this with her than to go out to a bar with a bunch of rowdy people spoiling for a fight.
“You can take off your shirt,” she said.
“What?”
“If you were sitting in your own room right now, would you have your shirt on?” she asked.
I smiled. “No.”
“But you’re leaving it on because you’re with me,” she said.
“People are usually uncomfortable when I’ve got my shirt off,” I said.
“People, or you?” she questioned.
“I guess both. People see the scars and they have questions.”
“And you don’t like to answer questions,” she stated.
“Do you have questions?” I asked softly.
“Not really. I mean, I do, but I’m not going to pressure you into anything. It’s obviously a traumatic situation. I’m not trying to make you talk about it.”
“I don’t talk about it because people don’t usually like to hear the story. It’s a sad story. It’s depressing.”
“But it’s part of your story,” she said.
“I’ve spent the last few years feeling like it should have been me,” I said. “I didn’t care that I was putting my life in jeopardy. All I could think about was getting him out of that burning pile of metal. If I could save him, I didn’t care if I died. I truly didn’t.”
“Why would you think that?” she asked.
“Because I’ve never really done anything great,” I explained. “I didn’t have a family. No one was going to miss me. He had a family. He had two little kids and a wife. He had someone to go home to.”
“And he died,” she said softly. “You’ve spent every day trying to right what you think was a wrong. You’re tempting God and fate. This is you giving the universe the middle finger.”
“In a way,” I said. “When I saw that plane hit, all I could think about was getting him out. I wasn’t really thinking about what was happening in the moment.
I pulled him out and dragged him from the fire.
He was gone. I knew he was gone, but I just couldn’t seem to stop.
The rescue workers were there within seconds.
Apparently I had been on fire. I didn’t know it.
Things are a little vague. I remembered going to the hospital and being told how lucky I was because the fire was mostly on my back and the back of my head.
They thought I gave a shit my face was spared.
How was I supposed to feel lucky my face was spared when my friend was dead? ”
She was listening quietly with her hand on my arm. “They didn’t know how you felt.”
“No, they didn’t. I wanted to go to the funeral.
The doctors told me I couldn’t leave the hospital because of the risk of infection.
I didn’t care. I think the whole not caring if I died thing started in that moment.
I went to the funeral. His wife and kids were devastated.
I couldn’t talk to them. I felt like I failed them. ”
“I’m really sorry,” she said. “That would be so hard to go through.”
“This job is dangerous,” I told her. “Shit happens. Accidents happen despite our safety protocols. You know that. But I don’t think I can walk away from it. I know it scares you when I go up, but flying is part of my soul.”
“I’m not asking you to stop,” she said. “I know it’s in your DNA. I respect and admire that. I only ask that you remember you have two people on the ground that really want you to come back home.”
“I know,” I said. “I will keep that in mind. I have a reason to fight now.”
“I know life isn’t a guarantee,” she said. “Things happen. My job is to try my very hardest to make sure things don’t happen.”
“Not all accidents or mishaps are preventable,” I said.
“They are, but it’s usually some other circumstance that causes these things to happen.
I want you to know that if there was some accident, that’s what it was.
It wasn’t me being reckless. That part of my life is over.
I’m going to bust my ass to come back to you. ”
“That’s all I can ask for,” she said.
“What do you think about next season?” I asked.
She scrunched up her nose. “Honestly, I don’t think it’s what I want.
Is that okay? I’m going to hate being away from you, but I can come out for visits.
You’ll be in training in California for a few months.
Maybe I can go out there and stay with you.
I want our baby to be happy and healthy.
I’m just not sure that’s going to be possible if we’re in a new city every week. ”
“I agree,” I said. “I’m never going to impose my wants on you, but I think you’re right. If you want to stay on, we’ll figure it out. We’ll hire a nanny to travel with us.”
“We still have time to think about it, but I think I want to stay home,” she said. “I’ve got that nesting instinct. I want to put together a nursery and scrub the house from top to bottom. I want to bake and just kind of be.”
“I’m good with that.”
“Would you be able to stay with me?” she asked.
“I can,” I said. “It’ll be nice to get out of base housing.”
“I can’t believe this is all happening,” she breathed. “One minute I’m fine and going along with the ride and the next I’m feeling a little panicky.”
“I know the feeling.” I laughed.
“My dad is really going to be happy,” she said. “He was rooting for a happy ending. He was willing to step in and help out, but I know he’ll be even happier to sit back and just be grandpa.”
“I’ve got another year of this crazy schedule, but I’m going to do my best to see you both as often as I can.”
“We’ll figure it out,” she said. “I’m not worried. “If we’re committed to making it work, it will.”
“You’re very confident.” I laughed.
“I’m used to getting what I set my mind to,” she replied easily. “I have a feeling you are as well.”
“I am,” I said. “Do you want to tell me about your mom?”
It was a blunt question, but we had a lot to learn about each other.
We were having a baby and I knew very little about her.
We were moving full speed ahead and there were a lot of details that were being skipped over.
I needed to know as much as I could about her.
It would help me understand her and vice versa.
“I can,” she answered quietly. “Mom died when I was ten.”
“Sick?”
“Car accident,” she replied. “One day I was at school and the principal came to get me out of class. When I went to the office, my dad was there. I thought I was in trouble. They told me they would see me next week. I didn’t understand what was happening.
We went home and my dad sat me down on the couch to tell me mom wasn’t coming home. ”
“Holy shit,” I breathed. She’d been through her own trauma. Here I was trying to act like I was the one that was having a hard life. “I’m sorry. Were you close?”
She smiled. “I was ten. I didn’t have time to become a teenager and hate my mom. My dad picked up the pieces and we carried on.”
“You and your dad are pretty close I take it?”
“Very,” she said. “With my job, I don’t have a lot of time to settle down and make friends.
It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but he’s kind of my only friend.
We hang out quite a bit, geeking out over planes or traveling to aviation museums. We have backyard barbecues and go to dinner.
Some people might think it’s a strange relationship, but it works for us. ”
“He’s happy about the baby?” I asked.
“Very,” she said. “He’s never come right out and reminded me I wasn’t getting any younger, but there were some casual hints.
He’d let me know one of his friends had a new grandchild or mention someone brought their grandkid over to visit.
I know he’s anxious to have a grandson or a granddaughter.
I’m happy I get to finally give him one. ”
“Hey, I had a little part in the gifting of the baby,” I teased.
“Oh, indeed, you did. I’m pretty happy I picked from such a good gene pool. My baby is going to be beautiful.”
“A baby,” I said. “It’s going to take me some time to really let that sink in. I’m going to be a daddy. A little me is going to be running around. I’m not sure the world can handle two of us.”
She groaned. “I’m not sure I can handle two of you. In my dream, we had a little girl and she was just like you. She was a wild child.”
“I cannot wait to meet him or her,” I said. “I hope I get to have some of those dreams. I want a glimpse of my future.”
She moved her snacks to the side before rolling over and straddling me. “Are you going to be one of those impatient people that is going to want to listen to the baby every day?”
“Is that an option?” I asked.
“I was looking into buying something for that,” she said.
“Oh, but I’m the one that’s going to be impatient.” I laughed.
“We have to pick a name,” she said.
“Right now?” My hands slid up her thighs and pushed up the little shorts she was wearing.
“Maybe not right this minute. We can live in my townhouse for now, right?”
“I think that probably works for now,” I said. I was barely paying attention. I was thinking about something else. Something far more exciting. I reached up and cupped her breasts.
She hissed and closed her eyes. “My boobs are so damn sore.”
I immediately dropped my hands away. “Sorry.”
She grabbed my hand and brought it back to her boob. “It feels good. Sensitive, but good.”
I lifted the shirt and tossed it over her shoulder.
Her ample breasts spilled forward. I leaned up and took one nipple into my mouth.
I gently sucked before lying back against the pillow.
I ran my hands over her arms and just stared up at her with pure adoration.
This was the mother of my child. This was the woman who had changed my entire life with one night. Changed my life in the best way.