Chapter 8
LAYLA
“Shit,” Hanna moaned as we trudged into the mess hall for lunch. “How it is only noon? It feels like we’ve been up for weeks.”
My muscles protested every step I took, and my arms trembled a little when I raised them to take a tray off the stack. “You’re telling me. Today has been brutal.”
“Just today?” She scoffed as we moved down the line to get our food. “Every day here has been brutal. I have absolutely no idea why I’m still here. I should just quit.”
“No, hey. Don’t talk like that,” I said softly. “I know you’re getting worn down. We all are, but it’s going to start getting better any day now.”
“No, it’s not,” she argued, rolling her eyes as she glanced at the table with the instructors sitting at it. “They’re sadists. Serial killers in disguise, I swear. How many people do you think have died because of them?”
“During training?” My eyebrows twitched. “None? Not because of them, anyway. They’re only trying to separate the wheat from the chaff and make us the best we can be. We’re going to have to be the best if we’re going to be in this line of work.”
“Yeah, well, I’m starting to think this really isn’t for me.
I mean, I’ve been pissed at my parents for forcing me into it all along, but I still thought I’d graduate just to show them I could, you know?
Plus, it’s not a bad career and I’m stupid.
I’ve messed up all my other prospects, so I figured that I might be able to do this, but I’m not so sure anymore. ”
The raw honesty in her voice and vulnerability in her eyes made me realize just how beaten down she was.
Hanna didn’t get like this. Nine times out of ten, she deflected talking about real feelings with humor, and the tenth time, when she was getting real, it was usually because she was angry at someone.
She didn’t let her guard down like this, and worry twisted my gut as we made our way over to the table we’d sort of claimed as our own.
Melanie had befriended a few of the guys, so she hardly ever sat with us at mealtimes, and since it was only Hanna and me, our table was a small square one near the wall.
Today, I was thankful for that. It meant we’d have some privacy to talk while we ate, and it sounded like she desperately needed it if she was going to make it through this afternoon.
With the way she was feeling right now, I wouldn’t be surprised if she quit just as soon as Santiago told us what our assignment for the afternoon was going to be.
“Look, I know it’s been hard,” I said as we sat down.
“You have to stick around, though. I can’t do this without you, and besides, it really is a good career.
You’re not wrong about that. I know it wasn’t your choice and that you wouldn’t have been here at all if it had been up to you, but you’re still here now.
That’s not an accident. It’s not a mistake.
You’re here because this is where you’re meant to be. ”
“I don’t know anymore, Layla,” she murmured with a strangely hollow look in her eyes.
“I’ve got as much of a point to prove to my parents as you do, if not more, but at what point does it stop being worth it?
I’m the wild child. I get that. My parents thought that this would help teach me discipline and respect, and it has, but when is enough enough? ”
“Enough is enough when you say it is. Whether that’s on graduation day or forty years from now at your retirement party, that’s up to you, but you can’t quit now.
Look at how far you’ve come. The first few days were always going to be the toughest. Once they realize that they’ve only got those of us who are serious left, it’ll get easier. ”
“You’re fooling yourself if you think that’s true,” she said miserably.
“It’s only going to get harder. They’re only going to get tougher.
If you think they’re going to ease up on us when we get closer to the end of our training, you’re wrong.
They’re only going to let the best of the best graduate, and if that’s separating the wheat from the chaff, then I’m chaff. I’m always chaff.”
“No, you’re not,” I said firmly, waiting until she looked at me before I continued. “It doesn’t even matter if you do end up quitting, you’re not chaff. You’re not going to quit, though. I know you, and I know you can do this. Day by day, we’ll get through it. Together. Okay?”
She sniffed, swiping her fingers below her eyes as she nodded. “Yeah, okay. Day by day. I’m not making any promises, though. Except that I won’t quit today. I won’t because I don’t want to, but I also honestly don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
“Day by day,” I repeated gently, relieved that she seemed to be over the hump but still concerned about her frame of mind. Maybe I should talk to Santiago. Ask him for advice on how to get her through or beg him to take it easy on her for a day or two.
I knew he’d probably laugh me right out of his office if I tried, but he was our instructor. As much as he seemed to hate me, surely he actually wanted us to succeed if we were right for this, and Hanna was right for it.
She just needed time to realize it. Time she wasn’t going to get if she bailed now.
“How’re we doing over here, ladies?” Bruce, one of Jonathan’s friends, smirked as he came to stand next to our table. “You guys look beat. Why don’t you come back to my dorm for the rest of the lunch hour and I’ll massage your tired muscles for you?”
“No, thank you,” I said politely, glancing at Hanna and staring until she did the same.
Bruce didn’t give up, though, leering at us as he tried again. “Come on, girls. Don’t be like that. We’re supposed to help each other out, right? I’m offering to do that for you. You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.”
“Seriously, Bruce, back off,” I said as I looked up at him. “We’re not here for that.”
He snorted. “The fuck else are you here for? Get real, Perkins. It’s not like you’re going to get through this program. If you didn’t come to warm a few cocks, why are you even wasting your time?”
“Excuse me?” I arched a brow at him. “You’re a demeaning, bullying sack of shit. If you think that’s going to get one of us in bed with you, you’re dead wrong.”
“You’re going to be in bed with me sooner or later, sweetheart.
That’s the only thing you’re good for, anyway.
Haven’t you been paying attention? Cortez doesn’t think you’re going to make it, either.
Mel, maybe, but she’s more man than most of the guys here.
You two? I don’t think so. You’re going to be barracks bunnies at best.”
When he moved to put his hand on my shoulder, Santiago appeared out of nowhere and grabbed his wrist, wrenching it away from me and jerking it up behind his back. Bruce yelped, his face contorting in pain as the blood drained out of his cheeks when he saw who was holding him.
“You,” Santiago snapped right in his face. “Come with me.”
Still holding on to the other cadet, our instructor turned and barked out a sharp command that rang through the mess hall. “Cadets, you’re with me. Lunch is over. Let’s go.”
Even though most of us hadn’t even started on our lunch, no one argued as we got up and followed him outside. Santiago frog-marched Bruce out ahead of him, his jaw tight and his eyes narrowed to slits.
Once we reached the field where we usually got together for PT, our instructor roughly let go of Bruce and shoved him away from himself as if he was disgusted about having touched him at all. “Stay put,” he barked before spinning to face the rest of us.
“Line up, cadets,” he commanded. “One long line today. I want you all to get a front row seat to what happens when you disregard my direct orders.”
Dread sank like a stone until it settled at the pit of my stomach. Not that I felt sorry for Bruce. He was an asshole who deserved everything he was about to get, but I had a feeling we were about to see a side of Santiago that Hanna didn’t need to see today.
On the other hand, maybe the fact that our instructor was standing up for us after what Bruce had said would help a bit. Either way, I had zero say in what was about to happen—even if I had had it handled back there.
Once we were standing in one solid, long line, Santiago—or Master Chief Cortez, rather—turned back to Bruce. Those blue eyes spat fire at the guy as he barked out his next command. “Repeat what you were saying to these girls. Right now. Repeat it!”
“I, uh,” he stammered, eyes hitting the dirt as his teeth ground together. Then with his cheeks flooding with heat, he pulled back his shoulders and looked back up. “I told them that I’d scratch their backs if they scratched mine.”
“What else?” Santiago—I mean Master Chief Cortez—demanded.
Bruce smirked when his eyes clashed with Jonathan’s. “I said that they were only good for warming our cocks and that they were going to end up as barracks bunnies anyway.”
Cortez nodded sharply. “That’s about the gist of it.
Let me show you how I feel about males treating females this way.
Those women are your coworkers. Or at least, they will be.
One day, you might have the privilege of working alongside them and there’s a very good chance that at some point, one of them is going to save your ass.
You will show them the respect that demands, or you won’t be here at all. ”
As he glanced at me, he barked at Bruce. “You will run and the class will wait until you quit or until sunset.”
“Are you crazy?” Bruce glared at him. “It’s barely noon, bro. No way I can run until the sun sets.”
“I am not your bro,” Santiago ground out. “If you can’t run until then, then you can quit. It’s all the same to me, but you will not treat your fellow cadets that way and get away with it. Not on my watch.”
When I realized he was serious, I did a double take—right along with most of my classmates. Bruce wasn’t wrong. No one would be able to run constantly, in this heat, for that amount of time, which meant that he was going to wind up quitting.
Santiago didn’t seem to care, though. Instead, he brought his whistle to his lips, folded his arms, and inclined his head toward the ground to show Bruce to get going as the sharp shriek of his whistle pierced the air.
Bruce stared at him for another beat, but then he shook his head and took off. As he did, Santiago’s gaze moved back to mine, but it was only for a beat before he looked away again. Deep down, though, I was sure he was doing this for me. That this was his way of defending my honor.
Why does he care so much?
I didn’t know, but he sure did seem to. Contrary to what I’d been expecting, he didn’t suddenly call Bruce back. He didn’t tell him that this was just a warning for what would happen next time.
Instead, he just made us watch as Bruce kept running. And running. And running.
In the end, he didn’t make it to sundown, though. He gave it a good shot, but after two and a half solid hours of only pausing to drink some water every now and then, he marched up to Santiago and quit right there in front of the rest of us.
“You win,” Bruce seethed quietly, his face blood red and dripping with sweat. “Take the chicks over me, that’s fine, but you’re going to be sorry when you realize what you lost here today.”
As he turned and stormed away, Santiago’s expression remained stoic.
There was no flash of victory, fear, or disappointment in his gaze as he looked back at us.
“The same fate awaits anyone who tries to cross the line with the women. I told you the first time you met me that you would have to answer to me if you pulled this shit, and now you know what that looks like. Think carefully before you open your mouths, gentlemen. The same goes for you, ladies. This is the Coast Guard, not a reality dating show. If any of you are still planning on confusing the two, now is the time to leave.”
Once again, no one took him up on his offer, and after giving us a minute to consider, he gave us a curt nod. “Dismissed. Get some rest tonight. I’ll see you bright and early first thing tomorrow morning.”