3.
It’s not that I don’t like people, it’s just that they do things that irritate me. Like breathing. And talking. The way some people blink pisses me off. Sometimes, I think it’s better for everyone involved if I just stay home alone.
Text from Tama’i to Amethyst
A METHYST
“Do you remember that big biker we saw at Elizabeth’s wedding? The one that was so hot, it was hard to look at him too long without feeling like you were about to combust.”
My sister, Diamond, laughed. “There were more than a few men like that at the wedding, but then again, that clean-cut guy Bella was talking to was also pretty hot.”
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” Opal said as she used the palm of her hand to push my head to the angle she wanted. “Which big hot biker are we talking about here?”
“The man makes Dad and his friends look regular-sized. Are you this rough with your clients or just me?”
“The frowning islander guy with the tribal tattoos?” Diamond asked.
“Yeah. That guy.”
“I remember him,” Opal said dreamily, ignoring my question. “He was a big bowl of deliciousness covered in a liberal serving of bad boy. Just my type.”
“What about him?” Diamond asked as she lifted her hand up to blow on her wet fingernails. “What do you think of this color?”
“I like it,” I assured her. “Will you do my toes while she finishes my hair?”
“Sure,” Diamond said before she used the spray can of quick-dry that was on the table in front of her. “Give me a minute.”
“Back to Mr. Hot Colorado,” Opal redirected. “Have you been thinking about him? You should call Elizabeth and ask for his info.”
“He was at the office for an appointment this morning and asked me for my number.”
“Here in Rojo?”
“No, dummy, Mars,” I retorted and then winced when Opal pulled a little too hard on the section of hair she was parting. “How many braids do you have left to do?”
“A dozen or so,” she replied. She pushed my head again and said, “It would help if you’d be still. Jeez.”
“He came in to see Spruce, but I helped with his treatment and . . .”
“What did he come in for?” Diamond asked.
“You know I can’t tell you that.”
“It was worth a shot,” Diamond retorted. “Put ‘em up.”
I shook off my flip-flops and adjusted myself in my chair so I could get my feet onto the table and winced again when Opal pulled my hair to adjust the angle of my head to her satisfaction.
As Di removed my old polish, I said, “He asked me out, but I told him we should exchange numbers and get to know each other first.”
“Good call. He might be new in town, but at least you can call Elizabeth and get the scoop on him just to make sure he’s a nice guy.”
“He belongs to the same club as Elizabeth’s new husband,” I replied.
“They’re all ex-cons, right?” Opal asked.
“Yeah. That’s sort of a requirement since it’s in the name of the club.”
“Time Served does say it all, doesn’t it?” Diamond asked. “Does Dad know him?”
“I’m not sure. I haven’t asked because you know how he gets.”
“He’s really mellowed out over the years,” Opal said cheerfully.
“It’s taken a lot of hard work to get him to this point,” Diamond told her. “You’re welcome.”
“What the hell should I be thanking you for?” Opal asked.
“We’ve gradually broken him down, and he’s a lot more passive now when we tell him we’re dating someone new,” I informed her. “Emerald kick-started his training, and me and Di have continued it. So, you’re welcome.”
“That’s probably true. Now that I think about it, the last guy I went out with didn’t even get threatened with death. I mean, he did mention beating him half to death but never once said anything about burying him somewhere.”
“He’s come so far,” Diamond said proudly.
“He has, but then again, it’s not like Mom’s easy on the girls the boys date,” Opal said, referring to our younger brothers.
Our sister Emerald was a little more than ten years older than me, but Diamond was just a year younger than I was, while Opal was three years younger than her. Our sister Pearl was born two years later, and after her birth, Mom and Dad had a boy every other year until our youngest brother Onyx was born when I was fourteen.
Emerald, Diamond, and myself were sisters who our parents adopted soon after they got together. Our adoptive father was technically our biological uncle, but I’d grown up calling him Dad since he took me in when I was just two. From what little we knew about our biological mother, information I’d heard from the few times Emerald and our parents had mentioned her, Diamond and I understood just how lucky we were to be considered our uncle’s children.
Our parents had never shown any favoritism for their biological children, which was unfortunately something I’d seen happen more than a few times in my practice as a pediatrician. I hated to witness it, but luckily, that wasn’t the norm. Because of my experience as an adopted child, I’d made a decision at a very young age to continue that cycle and adopt. I wanted to have at least two children naturally just so I could experience pregnancy and childbirth, but then I planned to adopt siblings and give them the same loving family my parents had provided for me and my sisters.
“Are you going to go out with him?” Diamond asked.
“Hold on. You’re talking about the big guy who looks like an angry Polynesian god, right?”
“Yeah.”
“He’s friends with Hawk. I heard him telling Brighten that they took classes together or something.”
“Hawk went to college in prison, so that means this guy did too. I wonder what he does for a living.”
“I don’t care about his profession as long as he’s got a job,” I said honestly. “And doesn’t live with his parents.”
“Also a no-go for me unless there are extenuating circumstances,” Opal agreed.
“Should I put on another coat?” Diamond asked as she looked at my toes. “What do you think?”
Just as my text notification sounded I said, “I love it, but yes, they need another coat.”
I leaned to the side to pull my phone out of my back pocket, and Opal took that as an invitation to commit a violent assault on my person that threw me back into my childhood memories of my mom who was a take-no-prisoners kind of braider. Obviously, she’d been training Opal.
“If you pop me with that clucking comb one more ducking time, I’m going to do things to you that . . .”
“You are like a walking version of auto-correct, Amethyst, and I don’t know a single person that likes auto-correct,” Diamond chided. “Just say ‘fuck’ like a normal person.”
“If she doesn’t start letting it out, she’s going to explode someday,” Opal agreed.
“The only way I’ll explode is when I jump into action to beat you like a dirty rug because you keep hitting me with the comb! ” I yelled. Opal didn’t care at all and snorted as she used the point of the comb to part another section of my hair. As I opened my texts, I asked, “Do you treat all of your clients like this?”
“I know, right?” Diamond asked.
“Not the ones who pay me,” Opal answered. When we didn’t respond, she sniffed and said, “That’s what I thought.”
“Mom’s getting a new tattoo,” I told my sisters after I read my text. “She asked if we’d come down and keep her company when we’re finished here.”
“I’m starving, so tell her we’ve got to pick up some food first. See what she wants, and get Pearl’s order too.”
“Pearl had a thing with Worth this evening, so she’s not there,” Opal informed us as she finished the second coat.
“Then it’s probably Stone doing it for her. You know Uncle Fain doesn’t like to work in the evenings anymore,” I reminded the girls. “I’ll ask Onyx to pick it up and bring it to us. He owes me big time.”
“What did he do now?” Opal asked.
“I can’t talk about it,” I said without thinking as I typed out the reply text to my mom. I realized that Opal’s hands weren’t moving anymore and Diamond was frozen, too, when a drop of clear topcoat dropped onto my foot. “What?”
“He’s sick, and you’re not telling Mom?” Opal asked.
“Oh, God. Did he get an STD? He did, didn’t he? After all of Dad’s preaching about ‘no glove, no love,’ the boy got an STD.”
“He did not . . . as far as I know. It’s something else.”
“If it’s not medical, then what is it?”
“I can’t talk about it.”
“I will snatch you bald,” Opal threatened.
At the same time, Diamond said, “Tell us or I’ll tell Mom you’re hiding something, and then we’ll both sit back and enjoy the show.” I reached up and made the motion to zip my lip and throw away the key. Diamond gasped. “Oh my god! Did he get a girl pregnant? Oh no. Oh no no no no.”
“Why are you always gloom and doom?” I asked my sister. “Cheese and rice, Di. You always jump to the worst possible scenario.”
“That way, when it’s not as bad as I first thought, it’s actually good even if it’s bad. Do you know what I mean?” Diamond asked.
“No,” Opal and I said in unison.
As she cleaned the drop of clear polish off my foot, she said, “It’s not pregnancy or an STD, and his grades are good. I know that.”
As Diamond pondered all the worst case scenarios, Opal asked, “You’re never going to share what’s going on, are you?”
“You know I’m a vault.”
“You are. That’s come in handy for us more times than I can count.”
“And I’ll do the same thing for Onyx.”
“Is that really necessary?” I asked Diamond when she waved at a passing motorist. “They’re going to think they know you or something.”
“I know,” Diamond said with a grin as she waved at the next car. “Right now, every person I’ve waved at since we left the salon is wondering how they know me and kicking themselves because they didn’t honk and . . . Oh! I got one to wave back. Now she is wondering who the hell I am!”
“How much food can Stone really eat?” I asked as I lifted my shoulder to keep my purse strap up since my arms were overflowing with bags of takeout containers.
“We should have had Onyx deliver it straight to the shop,” Diamond whined. “Get the door, Opal.”
“Let me just grow a third arm real quick, and I’ll . . . Well, hello!” Opal said when a very tall and handsome teenage boy opened the door and held it for us. She walked through and called out her thanks. I was smiling at him about to do the same when Opal yelled, “Soup’s on! Come and get it!”
“What do we have here?” Diamond asked as she stopped in front of me.
I wasn’t paying attention and bumped into her back which made my purse fall to my elbow. “Move your badonkadonk, hoe.”
“Watch out!” my mom called out. “That was almost a curse word.”
“It depends on the context. Technically, a hoe is an inanimate gardening tool that . . .” My voice trailed off as I stepped around my sister and saw who was bent over my mom’s prone form with a tattoo gun in hand. “Hi.” The man met my eyes with shock, and he looked from me to my mom and then back. “I brought dinner.”
“I carried a watermelon,” Diamond mumbled in a falsetto voice behind me. She yelped when I intentionally stepped back and stood on her toes. “Get off me, fatass. You better not have messed up my polish.”
“Or what?” I snapped without thinking.
“Ladies,” Dad called out in that menacing tone he used to try and curtail a fistfight. It didn’t always work, but this time Diamond didn’t respond, so he probably considered that a win.
“Hi, Dad,” Opal said as she breezed past him toward the breakroom. “Come get your grub on.”
“My, my, my. You are a big one, aren’t you?” Diamond said as she smiled at Tama’i. “I’m Diamond.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Oh my God, that voice!” Diamond whispered over her shoulder before she followed my dad toward the breakroom. “Let’s do this. I’ve got places to go and people to see.”
“Since when do you go places or talk to people on purpose?” my mom yelled at her retreating back.
“The newest episode of that firefighter show she’s in love with dropped today,” I tattled.
“That makes more sense. Tiny, can we . . .”
Tama’i swiped the paper towel over her fresh ink one last time as he interrupted, “Let’s take a break.”
“Can I . . .”
Tama’i interrupted the young man and said, “Did I hear something come out of your mouth? At this point, if it happens again, the next thing that comes out will be your teeth.”
I felt my jaw drop in shock as I looked from Tama’i to the young man, but before I could say anything, a young woman appeared and said, “Help me sort out our food, Kai.”
The young man didn’t utter another peep. Instead, he walked past Tama’i into the breakroom.
As Tama’i helped my mom get up from the table, she said, “Don’t get all worked up, Amy. He’s got his reasons, and he’s doing things his way.”
“Do you often threaten children with bodily harm?” I asked, ignoring my mother.
“Only when they get suspended from school for bullying their teachers and running their mouth like they’re the baddest man in the room,” Tama’i said angrily. He huffed out a breath and said, “Although, I will admit that the teeth comment might have been over the top.”
“Just a bit,” I agreed as my mom walked away. “There might be other alternatives to that like . . .”
“He’s a head taller than everyone at that school, teachers included. He needs to learn that there might not always be someone bigger, but there will always be someone meaner. That person is going to be his mother when she finds out the shit he’s been doing.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Unacceptable,” Tama’i said firmly. “ Fa'aaloalo is one of our culture's most valued traits, and I won’t have him dismiss that.”
“What is that?” I asked.
“Young people should respect their elders because they hold knowledge that we haven’t yet learned.”
“I like that,” I admitted.
“Is the soy sauce in your bag? They better not have forgotten it because there’s no telling how old the stuff in the refrigerator here is,” Diamond said as she walked toward me. She took the bags from my hands before she smiled and said, “I’ll take those. You two get to know each other. Planned pregnancies are much easier to handle, although I do love a good surprise.”
“Go away, sea cow.”
“You’re adopted, and your parents don’t love you,” Diamond hissed.
“If your face was on fire, that would be an improvement,” I snapped back as I glared at her. When I looked back at Tama’i, I said, “We brought dinner.”
“I see that,” Tama’i said as he watched Diamond walk away and then looked at me. “Do you think she’s going to do something horrible to our food?”
“Why would she do that?”
“I mean, you obviously aren’t fond of each other.”
“What makes you say that?” Tama’i just stared at me blankly, and I felt like I should explain, “Diamond’s not just my sister, she’s one of my best friends.”
Tama’i blinked a few times and then asked, “How do the two of you talk to people you don’t like?”
“We smile a lot while we consider the three hundred and eleven ways we can make them disappear.”