THIRTY-SIX
“Y our wolf-cat has stolen this evening’s beef.”
Yawning, I sat up on the bed. “I told you she was clever.”
“Yes, clever ,” Bernie emphasized. “Not a pain in everyone’s ass.”
“Spoken like a true queen.”
“You can certainly talk.”
I made a wide-eyed face at Millicent, who’d just woken from a nap on my bed, then looked over at her mother.
Bernie’s flustered cheeks returned to their usual coloring as her annoyance ebbed. She leaned against my chest of drawers, a feeding cloth slung over her shoulder. “As much as having you where I can see you is magical for my stress levels, queens don’t hide in other castles, butter.”
“I’m not hiding.” It was mostly true.
I was simply waiting. Also mostly true.
“Well, whatever it is you’re doing, just make sure it doesn’t lead to those dragon beasts descending upon our lands.” She walked to the bed to collect her daughter. “I require at least five years of peace until this one is sleeping through the night.”
Aghast, I asked, “You believe it will take her that long?”
“It took you four years, and she’s stubborn.” On her way out, she added pointedly, “Just like you.”
I fell back onto the bed, inhaling the sweet scent of Millicent. As her presence did, it calmed the turmoil within me.
But only for so long.
My tea was soon delivered, and I stared at the heat rising from the white teacup. The pungent mint-like aroma was still too thick. So I waited and attempted to keep my thoughts from straying where they shouldn’t as the effects of my last cup began to abate.
Though simply attempting conjured memories that summoned him.
As if he’d been waiting, he hissed into my mind, Fucking finally.
My body both tightened and loosened. I tried to think of adorable Millicent, but there was no forcing him out now.
His shared thought crooned, I didn’t take you for a coward, dread.
My heart thrashed. A mere week had passed since I’d indeed fled from Cloud Castle like a coward. I’d made Pholly vanish me, knowing she wouldn’t fear the repercussions.
Eyes closing, I swallowed. The ache was expected. It had been a constant since I’d returned to Nephryn. But the instant bite of yearning…
It drew blood.
Why are you blocking me from your mind? Atakan asked. Better yet, why aren’t you here, feeding me your sweet spite and taking my cock?
He knew why I wasn’t there.
So I reached over and sipped some tea, unable to resist the chance to prod him. When did you turn into a pytherion for the first time?
All I heard was my own wonderings over his whereabouts, and I almost believed the tea had taken effect. I swallowed another mouthful, set the teacup in the saucer, and flopped onto my bed.
I was almost ten years, he finally shared . I followed a hare into the woods and killed it with a rock.
My nose crinkled.
As if he knew, he sounded amused. Perhaps it was the blood, or merely the thrill of the hunt, but night fell over me in the middle of the afternoon. It swallowed me whole. There was a pause. Tried to rip me apart with invisible teeth that yanked at my bones.
Imagining the horror of such vast magic, I turned onto my side and toyed with a loose thread in the lilac comforter.
Cordenya, who’d been watching me play, searched the woods when she heard me. She found me writhing upon the ground, half of my body scales and claws and the other half skin. My fear had created too much resistance to change entirely.
My finger ceased moving. All of me tensed.
As I cried and pleaded for her to fix me, she coaxed me back into my skin by calming me. She said I didn’t need fixing, but made me swear not to tell anyone, certainly not my father.
How did you keep it hidden?
A potion. Maybe four years later, I ceased taking it and shifted properly. I learned how to control it, and when I couldn’t, I vanished so deep into the mountains, only other beasts would know a pytherion lurked there.
What he’d shared echoed through my mind, and again, I thought the tea had pushed him out.
But then I heard him. Did you leave because I didn’t tell you my beastly secret?
I smiled at the teacup on my nightstand. You know that’s not why I left.
More silence. Then, Well, now that you’ve seen the fresh babe, you can come back.
And she’s beautiful, thank you for asking.
A soft snarl. Come to me, and we’ll discuss anything you like.
Anything? I taunted.
The word was punctuated by a growl. Anything.
Why? Do you miss me, husband?
I miss playing with you.
I rolled my eyes and gave that no response.
I could have sworn he sighed. Obviously, I do. A moment passed, my heart failing to beat. Miss you.
My fingers drifted to my mouth, and that yearning birthed flames within my chest. I found the courage to ask, You killed Vorx, didn’t you?
As a slow-moving warmth relaxed my limbs, I was answered by silence. The tea had taken effect.
But I didn’t need an answer. Atakan might have carried wounds from his mother’s abandonment, but he’d made sure Vorx had paid the price for them.
My hand squeezed harder and pumped faster as my thumb brushed the vein under my shaft.
Breath sawed between my teeth as I imagined her splayed beneath me. Soft yellow hair curled between those large breasts, tendrils kissing those rosy nipples. Perfect mouth bloodied and bruised by my own. Thighs spread, my seed oozing from that pretty little cunt…
Groaning low, I dropped my head back over the bathing tub’s rim as my hips jerked.
My eyes flew open.
Night still shrouded my bedchamber, the white flowers painted upon the stone ceiling aglow in the dark.
Spying, dread?
You summoned me, and I do hope you’re not laying in that water.
I’m saving it for my disobedient creature’s return. She’s going to lap at it while I fuck her from behind.
Though I had no interest in drinking bath water, I shivered and bit my lip.
Aroused, aren’t you? His rasped laugh was menacing. Glistening, I’ll bet.
I didn’t confirm nor deny . I was sleeping until you rudely entered my dreams by thinking of me while you pleasured yourself.
Desperate times call for pleasurable measures. I’ll do whatever it takes to get what I need.
I don’t know if I believe you.
You’ve seen as much.
I have indeed.
Come here and taunt me. I promise not to punish you until you bleed , he lied with feigned sweetness. I just want to push my cock inside you.
And that’s all?
And then I’ll leave it there, so deep and still, while you clench around me and tug at the silk binding your wrists to the bedpost.
Atakan…
You’ll say my name just like that while I bite your tits and make you come by tormenting your clit, over and over. Anger made each word more graveled. You’ll stay stuffed full of my cock and swollen from pleasure until you admit how foolish you were to run —
You sound incredibly frustrated. Intense arousal flushed my skin from head to toe. But he couldn’t see or scent it, and I refused to let him win when I’d gone this far. Hasn’t Ruelle returned yet?
Silence.
I almost left the bed, fury halting my breathing and screaming through my mind as I imagined the worst.
Atakan chuckled.
I reached for the cold tea on my nightstand, drinking a large gulp when his voice entered my head again. I never fucked her, dread. From the moment you first stepped foot in this castle, I never fucked anyone but you.
I frowned. First?
Must I repeat myself?
Swiping my hand through my hair, I lowered on my side over the bed, grateful he couldn’t witness my relief. You can find pleasure without fucking.
Indeed. From hearing my defiant mate say fucking. A throaty groan blistered my blood. And from palming my cock to thoughts of ramming it down her delicate throat.
I knew without asking that he was touching himself again.
Triumphant, I smiled until I remembered, You spent the night in her room. It shouldn’t have mattered. We hadn’t been mated. We hadn’t been married.
We hadn’t even liked one another.
Intentional, he informed smoothly. To keep the loathing alive. Once she ceased pouting and fell asleep, I left.
More silence.
Your jealousy is delicious.
I was merely curious.
If you’re still curious, come and see for yourself that I’m all alone and immensely miserable.
I saw just fine.
Yet I see nothing. So fucking selfish, he purred silkily.
I turned onto my back, tempted to touch myself. Tempted to ask him to come and get me as I asked instead, Are you truly miserable?
I waited. Then waited some more before remembering I’d had some tea.
Though, not for the first time, I wished I hadn’t. But games were no fun when you could easily share your thoughts of someone into their mind and risk them discovering your motives.
Perhaps even your cowardice.
This game was my last remaining shield. There were no more excuses and strategies to use as weapons. Atakan was no longer my enemy. He no longer needed me, and he never had. The unconquerable didn’t need insurance.
He’d simply wanted to marry me.
In the days spent trapped in a home that felt nothing like it did within my memories, I hid from all that held me prisoner. The undeniable truths and the insurmountable fears.
And the desire to return to where I never expected to belong.