9. Jude
9
jude
G od, I missed this. The fresh country air laced with cattle and manure, the sun on my face making me grin from ear to ear. The strong gelding beneath me. Guiding the herd from one pasture to the next. How did I let over a decade go by without getting on a horse? Yet it felt as though no time had passed.
“Round up that heifer!” I called across the herd to where Romy sat atop Winnie.
She had said she hadn’t ridden a horse since high school, but she still looked as if she belonged in this world. She was one with the mare, effortlessly turning Winnie’s head to guide her as we rounded up the cattle. With each flick of the reins, kick of her heels, or click of her tongue, Winnie responded to her just as she had twelve years ago. Horses could remember people for years, and despite their separation, Winnie knew Romy.
And she was stunning.
Her blonde hair was tied back again, tempting me as it did yesterday. One of the Thornbrush caps with the T-horned brand shaded her eyes, and those jeans fit her like a glove. The chaps only accentuated the flare of her hips.
The hips I couldn’t help but grab when her ass was mere inches away from my dick.
Her scent was still in my nostrils. More coconut this time, her hair still fresh from her shower last night. It was addicting.
“Haw! Haw!” Romy yelled, bringing the stray heifer back to the herd.
Uncle Chuck’s dogs bayed around us, closing in on the herd to lead them through the east pasture gate. It was still cool for May, but the sun was strong and I tipped my cowboy hat to wipe my brow.
“Bring ’em in!” I hollered. Romy came up the rear, heading to where I rode Chip. She sidled Winnie up beside me. “It appears we got them all.”
“That was fun.” She was breathless and smiling.
We followed the cattle through the gate before I hopped off to close it behind them.
Romy dismounted, and we led our horses to the fence, leaning against it to gaze out at the relocated cattle.
“So, a teacher, huh?” I asked.
Years might have separated us, but she never left my thoughts after all that time. I wanted to learn everything there was to know, even if it meant her telling me why she really left. Even if it hurts.
“Yeah. Seventh grade humanities.”
“Middle school is rough.”
I hated my middle school years. Awkward and long-limbed, I mostly kept to myself. Only finding camaraderie with wrestling and horses … and Romy. Always Romy.
“Tell me about it. I thought I could make a difference. I know my teachers did. I wanted to be that safe space for my students. To help make someone else’s horrid school experience just a little bit easier. Even thinking back to all the bitchy girls I constantly dealt with, I still considered school my safe place, you know? Well, that and the ranch.” She gave me a side-eyed glance.
A loaded glance that if I read too much into, she was telling me that I had also been her safe place. At least I’d hoped so. There were so many times Romy and Hazel “lived” at the ranch instead of their own home.
“I’m not sure how much more I can take, though,” she continued. “I can’t even seem to get my feet underneath me, let alone inspire a bunch of preteens. Not sure I’m cut out for it.”
If anyone was cut out for it, Romy was. She didn’t put up with shit—never had—and it was obvious she was passionate about it.
“I don’t believe that. I have no doubt you’ve helped more kids than you realize.”
“Perhaps.” But her voice sounded far away, distant. As if she was already resigned to her failure as a teacher.
Not wanting to push her, I asked, “What would you do instead?”
She shrugged. “What about you? If you’re done fighting, what’s next?”
I mimicked her shrug. “Looks like we’re a couple of unemployed drifters,” I joked.
Romy hip-checked me and laughed. “Why, aren’t we quite the pair?”
We sounded good.
I could sense her walls slipping. We used to be so comfortable with each other—affectionate even—even when we were supposed to be just friends, when she was dating someone else. Chase was always jealous of our relationship, and it stroked my ego each time he lashed out at me. She was mine, whether he or Romy realized it.
And I thought she had that night. She and Chase had broken up, going their separate ways for college.
She had waited for me that last day. Sexy in cutoff shorts and a tight top that tied around her neck while she leaned against the railing in the arena, watching her sister circle barrels. I drew her away from there, bringing her into the shadows of the tack room, and before either of us could speak a word, she fisted my shirt, pulling me against her in a crushing kiss. We were desperate for each other. It felt like a goodbye, but it also felt urgent. Like if we didn’t consume each other right in that moment, the world would end.
My cock painfully hard, I had grabbed Romy’s hand and we hurried to the double-wide, barely waiting for me to kick the door closed before I scooped her up in my arms and threw her onto my bed. In our haste, we fumbled with our clothes, our teeth clashing, tongues stroking, fingers exploring. It was as if our bodies belonged to each other before we ever collided. We were completely consumed with each other and connected in a way that made me feel as though Romy was truly mine .
Except she wasn’t. Not back then, at least.
But damn, now that she was here … what I wouldn’t do to have her. Have her in my arms, my bed, and in my life. Forever.
The sun beat down on her, gleaming off her hair. Romy looked as if she belonged here—her feet in boots, her legs in chaps, and wearing a red, Vexil hoodie with the classic horns logo spread across her perfectly round tits. What I wouldn’t give to slowly peel her out of it.
She inched closer, this time leaning into me, her head tentatively resting on my shoulder. Just like she had so many times before. I didn’t dare move.
Don’t fuck this up, I repeated over and over in my head.
We looked out at the herd. The calves and heifers reuniting. The mothers bowed their heads to nose their young.
She relaxed, and I could feel the tension ease from her body. The weight of her head comforting on my shoulder.
I released a breath, allowing my own tension to lift, and rested my cheek against her hair. Her coconut scent now mingled with grass, horse, and sunshine. She felt like home. It made me smile to know that some things hadn’t changed.
Maybe she wouldn’t run this time.
We walked the horses back to the stable, the bray of horses greeting us. We talked the whole way back. She shared stories of her students, and I shared stories of opponents I had faced in the cage. Neither one of us mentioned other relationships. I still didn’t know if she was single; I was scared to know the answer. What if she had someone back in California? What then? Could I convince her to stay for me, that she was always meant to be mine?
I knew she had to leave to finish out the school year, but it was almost summer break. She could come back, couldn’t she? She’d want to be here for her sister.
After today, I’d have two more days left with her, and I needed to know. Did she feel what I felt? Those feelings never went away for me. And now seeing her, being in her presence, it felt like more. As if all these years, the universe was just biding its time, our orbits never quite lining up … until this moment.
Her cell phone rang in her back pocket.
“Hazel,” she said, glancing at the screen. “I don’t have my wallet on me.”
I didn’t hesitate to pull out my wallet from my back pocket.
“Here.” I handed her my credit card.
“You don’t have to.”
“You better hurry before she runs out of time.”
Romy bit her lip, taking a moment to decide.
I shook my head, shoving the card into her hand. She could be so stubborn.
Romy punched in the numbers, then listened to the automated message before I heard a muffled hello.
“Hello? Hazel? Are you doing okay?” Romy’s face slacked and her rosy cheeks dimmed.
Giving her conversation privacy, I took the reins of our horses and walked them to their stalls to untack.
Worry laced her voice from across the stable. I wanted so fucking badly to return to her side, to rub her shoulders, to hold her hand—anything to give her comfort while she talked to Hazel. I busied myself unsaddling the horses, checking their hooves, brushing them down, and giving them a big scoop of oats before leaving them to rest in their stalls.
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” Romy was finishing her call by the time I returned to where she stood in the threshold. “Okay. Bye, sis.”
Romy hung up, turning to look at me. Color had still not returned to her face.
“I’m going to the jail tomorrow to visit her.” Her jaw was set firm, and her eyes were molten metal. There she was. My determined girl.
I nodded. “I’ll drive you.”
“Jude.” She said it like a warning, but really, all it did was spread heat through my veins and give the wrong idea to my cock.
“Romy. You’re not going to the jail by yourself. I’ll drive you.” I reached out to grip her elbow, wanting to draw her near me. To show her I was here for her.
“Fine.” She took a hesitant step closer. “But I’m going in alone. She only put me on her visitor list.”
My eyebrows rose. “Not Frank?”
She lifted her hand, pushing my hat back from my forehead. Her fingers hovered at my brim, and I felt the air thicken between us. Our eyes, now unobscured by my hat, connected. “No. Frank would only create a scene. It’s best if I go alone.”
Uncle Chuck came marching into the stables with two shovels in his hands.
“All moved?” he asked.
We stepped apart.
“Yep. All settled in the east pasture,” I told him, taking off my hat to wipe my brow and attempt to shake off the elevated beating in my chest caused by Romy’s nearness.
“Good, I appreciate it. I need the stalls mucked. We’ll have more help tomorrow,” he said, handing us both a shovel. “I hired a guy who just moved here from eastern Oregon, looking for work. He’ll be here tomorrow. And it sounds like Lina should be rolling in tomorrow afternoon, too.”
“Will that be enough help, or will you need to hire out?” I asked him.
“I’ll probably have to borrow ranch hands as needed, but it will have to do for now. I know you both have to get back to your lives.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know if there was a life to get back to anymore. I’d forgotten the soreness in my knee while I was out riding with Romy, until now.
“Well …” Romy pondered.
My head shot in her direction. “Well, what?”
“Without a job after next week, I may need to think about coming back for the summer.”
My eyes went wide. She risked a lowered glance at me through her lashes, and a surge of hope shot through my chest.
“Really?” My voice came out like an excited little boy. I cleared my throat.
A slight smile curled her lips, but she averted her gaze to Uncle Chuck.
He was beaming at us. “You know, they say the more hands we have on a ranch, the lighter the work.”
Come on! I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “Who’s ‘they’?”
Uncle Chuck shrugged. “I have no clue, but they’re right. Best get crackin’. The stalls won’t shovel themselves.”
Uncle Chuck winked at me over Romy’s head as she headed to the nearest stall.
I flipped him off.
His booming laughter carried out the stable as he climbed the hill back up to the big house.