36. Jude
36
jude
A wave of blistering heat and nausea hit me like a freight train.
Junior found her on the trail. He threatened her. He touched her. He fucking hurt her.
“He doesn’t want me testifying on Hazel’s behalf. He said he’d press assault charges against you if I did.” Her words sounded distant over the roaring in my ears, as though she was speaking through one of those playground phones that allowed you to speak from one side of a play structure to the other.
I could feel my vision narrow, my body temperature spike.
“He. Put. His. Fucking. Hands. On. You.” Each word was punctuated and came out like acid on my tongue. My jaw was so tight, I could barely unlock it to speak, as if I were grinding gravel in between my teeth.
Romy flinched, and I loosened my grip when I realized I was squeezing her hands.
He was the one who hurt her. He was the one who put that fucking flinch in her. He was the one who made my girl feel scared and vulnerable. I saw how she trembled last night after he approached her. She wanted to appear tough and unbothered, but she was the one who was left bruised and bleeding.
Sucking in air that felt too thick, I tried to slow the blood rushing in my ears, but my mind spun on a reel— Junior hurt her. Made her bleed.
And then she lied to me about it. I hate that she felt she couldn’t put all of her trust in me.
“I’m fine, Jude. It’s nothing permanent.”
“Bullshit!”
I couldn’t sit here any longer. I jumped to my feet, pacing the room, running my hand through my hair.
“I’m going to fucking kill him.”
“You just promised you wouldn’t fly off the handle!”
She was right. I did. Otherwise, she might never have told me. But that fucking piece of shit touched her … hurt her.
I continued to walk, my fingers laced behind my head, breathing to the count of ten, closing my eyes to focus on my lungs contracting and expanding. Just like therapy had taught me. Just like I needed to do before facing my opponents. I had to have a level head. Prove to her she could trust me, that I could stay calm for her when she needed me to.
“What was he doing last night? What did he want?”
Romy shrugged. She seemed so calm despite the seriousness of this. Almost nonchalant, and it didn’t help the fury I was battling.
“I don’t know. Probably just reminding me not to talk. He wasn’t going to do anything, not in front of so many people.”
“He did something in front of an entire bar,” I reminded her, still pacing.
“The man’s determined and angry, Jude. He says he knows Hazel planned this.”
I stopped in my tracks. “What do you mean he knows Hazel planned this? Does he know about the note? Does he know something we don’t?”
Romy sat up on her knees, facing me at the end of the bed. “I don’t know. He said he was on Hazel’s visitor’s list, and he had just paid her a visit before her so-called suicide attempt. Whatever they talked about, I think it may have prompted her to threaten her life.”
“Okay …” I tried to wrap my head around this. “So he believes Hazel planned to murder his brother? Is he planning to testify against her?”
“I’m not sure, but I think I need to find out. I don’t know if he actually has anything, but it’s enough to scare Hazel.”
She had to do it. She had to testify. To talk to the lawyer. It could protect her from whatever fallout Junior’s threats caused.
“You need to call Ms. Hoya and tell her everything.”
“But he’ll go to the cops. He could send you to jail.”
I shook my head. “He’s all talk. After what he pulled with you, he’s not saying shit. You could press charges against him .”
Her brows pinched. “I don’t have proof. It would be my word against his. There’s video evidence of you punching him in the face, though.”
“Shit.” She was right.
“What would that accomplish anyway? We’d just trade jail time and drag this out forever. Not to mention ruin your career.”
“My career’s done anyway.” This was just giving me more reason to retire.
Romy huffed through her nose. “If your career is done, then you should choose to retire because you want to, not because of some low life.”
She wasn’t wrong, but she was far more important. “I still think you need to talk to Hazel’s lawyer. Maybe at least tell her about the note. If Junior gets wind of you helping Hazel, then we face that together. Okay?”
I gathered her in my arms at the edge of the bed.
“Okay.” Her voice was quiet against my shoulder. “Together.”
Smoothing her hair down her back, I caressed her silky strands, comforting us both.
“Honey, you need to talk to me. No more thinking you can do this alone. We both have to be able to trust each other, and that means we’re fully transparent. I made a mistake not telling you about my fight, and I don’t want to make that mistake again. I’m willing to put it all on the line if you are.”
She nodded. “I can do that. Full transparency.”
I buried my nose in her hair, breathing in her sweet scent. “If you don’t, expect me to go full caveman. I’m not going to accept fine or nothing . Unless you want me to fuck it out of you.”
Her muffled laughter rumbled through my chest. “Is that a promise?”
“Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a finger in my eye.”
She bopped a finger in my eye.
Grabbing her hand, I pulled her across my lap. “Better watch out. Naughty girls get spanked.”
I gave her ass a firm smack, causing her to squeal.
I needed her to know that I loved her. That I would do anything for her. But this didn’t feel like the right time. Instead, I told myself we had talked enough about feelings today. This was progress, after all. She was willing to put her trust in me.
I pulled her to her feet and gave her another pat on the butt for good measure as we walked out the bedroom door.
“Now let’s go get some breakfast so I can beat my aggression out on some new fence posts,” I said.
When really, I was just chickenshit because I was still worried I wasn’t enough to keep her here.