42. Romy
42
romy
I had just gotten out of the shower and thrown on some pajamas before flicking on the TV to the sports network channel. Running the towel through my wet hair, I watched as Jude and the other fighter came out from their respective doors to climb the podium to their seats beside a bulky, impeccably dressed bald man. Gold rings adorned each finger and were laced together in front of him on the table.
With his authoritative voice, he announced Jude “The Bull” Larsen and Mike “Savage” Reyes as they took their seats in front of the crowd. Lights flashed.
Jude looked nervous, and I watched him fidget with his hair. He wasn’t wearing his hat tonight. He was dressed in an all-black suit, his hair styled. He looked so handsome, but my anxiety spiked watching his face transform. This was the face I recognized behind the screen the last twelve years. I thought he had changed into a cold, hard person, but now I knew this was the role he had to play as “The Bull.”
Alex squeezed his shoulder behind him, and then a beautiful Latina woman bowed over to whisper something in his ear.
Despite my concern for Jude, a spike of jealousy lanced through me. I wondered if that was Jessica. She was gorgeous and so tall. Seeing her lean down to him like that, so close her hair was brushing his shoulder, comfortable and familiar to him, made my stomach hurt. I didn’t like that she was next to him right now when I couldn’t be. I gripped my towel tighter.
Whatever she said to him, though, was enough for him to sit straighter and check his facial expressions. His brow smoothed, and his lips settled into a firm line. He looked stoic and in control now, calm and collected but ready to face a fight.
Mr. Venture was talking to the reporters, but all I noticed was Jude. He took a deep, steadying breath and then leaned his arms on the table, preparing to speak.
The first question was about Jude’s knee and recovery.
“It’s stronger than ever,” Jude said. “You try lifting hay bales and riding a four-hundred-acre ranch from sunup to sundown, not to mention doing daily doubles and grappling every day for the last eight weeks. It may have been a short camp, but I’m more than ready to enter the cage.”
Great answer, Jude. I wanted to breathe easy after his first answer, but I knew the prompts were only going to get harder.
“What do you think of this matchup?” someone asked him.
“You’re all in for a treat. I don’t think you could have hoped for a better matchup. Reyes is undefeated and an excellent Muy Thai and jujitsu fighter, but my experience as a ground-and-pound boxer and collegiate-style wrestler will prove a challenge for him. I plan on defending my belt to the very end.”
“He just doesn’t know his end is coming for him in a matter of days.” Reyes laughed into the mic.
The room tittered with laughter.
“Oh, fuck him,” I said out loud to my empty living room.
Jude leaned into the mic, turning to look at Reyes down the table. Mr. Venture stepped back to give the fighters an opening. “I’m just looking forward to you putting your foot where your mouth is on Friday night. All you’ve done is run your mouth online and spread rumors. I think I’m already in your head. While I’ve been focusing on this fight, you’ve been worried about me and what I’m doing when you really should be worried about me laying you out in the cage.”
A rumble of voices shouted questions while others chuckled at Jude’s response.
Reyes guffawed. “I’m not worried about you, old man.”
Old man! Jude was eight years older than this kid, but he also had the experience to back him.
“You should be,” Jude chimed back.
“Reyes, what made you call out ‘The Bull’?” someone off camera shouted.
“I intend to remain undefeated, and my goal has always been to climb the ladder until I can claim the belt. Haven’t you heard? I’m the new, best, up-and-coming fighter, and I plan on staying that way for a very long time. It’s time the belt belonged to someone who isn’t broken. Anyone who has gone up against Larsen in the last few years hasn’t been able to beat him. Do you know what they all have in common? They aren’t me. Everyone claims he’s one of the greatest in the sport today, and to prove, once and for all, that I’ll be the greatest of all time, I will defeat the champ. I plan on leaving Vegas with the belt around my waist.”
Applause sounded from the reporters before they quieted again to ask more questions.
“Go ahead,” Mr. Venture said, gesturing to another reporter.
“This is for Larsen. There has been some talk about you retiring. Is this to be your last fight?”
I held my breath. He hadn’t exactly spelled it out for me, but we were under agreement that we were both staying on the ranch.
“All I can say is that announcement isn’t coming tonight. I’m focused on this fight right now.”
I puffed a breath out my nose.
“Reyes, your social media has blown up the last few weeks after reposting a video about Larsen and the ranch he trained on. There have been some pretty serious allegations about what goes on there, including Larsen’s role in supporting a murderer. What made you decide to repost that?”
Oh, here we go. I flopped down on the couch, preparing myself for what I was about to hear.
Reyes leaned closer to the microphone. “Yeah, I don’t think it’s okay that we gloss over the fact that Larsen seems a bit unhinged. A wild fucking bull. Reckless. He may say he is focused on this fight, but the bar fight just shows that he’s spiraling. He’s not going to be facing me with a level head. I thought it was important to show everyone why the man can’t hold it together right now. Someone died on his family ranch, and he went so far as beating the shit out of someone who spoke against his employee—who is in jail for murder—just because he’s banging the sister. That doesn’t sit right with me, and it shouldn’t sit right with this organization, either.”
Shit!
This kid had some serious balls to just come out and say that, while also blaming his own fighting organization with Mr. Venture right beside him. It made me want to climb into the cage and punch his face in.
My eyes shot to Jude. His eyes were burning, but he was keeping it cool. I could see his knuckles blanch, but he didn’t flinch.
“What has happened on my family ranch has nothing to do with this fight. My family and the ranch were impacted greatly with what occurred this spring, and that’s why I relocated my training camp there. I’m loyal to my family above all else.
“But I also trust the justice system to investigate and conduct a trial to determine the judgment. It’s not our job to pass it. As for the bar fight—one punch, mind you, and I have already released a statement, which should be enough. The man was harassing my family, harassing the woman I love, and I did what I thought needed to happen in the moment. To protect those I care about. We have since gotten law enforcement involved, so the issue should not arise again.
“My answer may not sit right with everyone, but I can assure you this organization has supported me every step of the way in my career. Reyes and his camp may think I’m not mentally prepared … that I’m distracted … but I can tell you, anyone who knows what it feels like to love someone or something so badly that you’d do anything to protect it knows exactly what I’m about to do in that cage. I’m coming for you, Reyes, and you better be prepared.”
The room erupted. Jude pushed away from the table. Lights strobed on cameras. No one stopped him as Jude stormed out the side door, Alex and Jessica on his heels.
My eyes welled, and I didn’t realize I was biting the insides of my cheeks until a metallic taste burst on my tongue. He just announced to the world that he loves me!
The sportscasters were going crazy from the news floor, announcing this as one of the most anticipated fights of all time. But I didn’t hear much more as I ran to grab my cell phone from the bedroom.
I dialed Jude. It rang and rang and rang.
“You’ve reached Jude Larsen. I’m unable to pick up the phone right now. Please leave a message or shoot me a text, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Later.”
I hung up and dialed again. Voicemail.
Pick up, Jude! I dialed him one more time, and when he didn’t answer, I texted him.
Me
I watched the press conference. Call me back.
I went to the kitchen, setting my phone on the counter so I could hear it if he called while I made myself a sandwich for dinner. The sandwich tasted like cardboard as I waited for his call.
My anxiety thrummed. I washed my plate and put it on the drying rack. I almost contemplated calling Lina to come over and distract me, but she would likely bring wine, and I needed a night off from drinking.
What I really needed was Jude. I needed to know he was okay. I needed to assure him that I was okay. I wanted to make sure he wasn’t in his head because, knowing him, he was probably overthinking everything he just said and worrying how it would be perceived.
Me
I’m not mad. Just worried. Call me back.
I couldn’t help texting him one more time.
jude
My hands were shaking and tingling as I stormed back toward the elevators. I needed to go lie down. I could feel my heart pounding, beating in my skull. Was I breathing? I couldn’t tell.
“Jude! Jude! Wait up, man.”
Alex was chasing me with Jessica right behind him.
I looked down at my phone, my vision blurring and fading in and out. My phone was vibrating, lighting up with incoming texts and calls.
“Hand that to me,” Jessica said, slipping my cell phone out of my grasp. “You need to breathe.”
I barely felt her hand rubbing my back.
“Jude, look at me.” Jessica’s voice hovered in my ear, but I couldn’t see her. “We need to take him to his room. I think he’s having a panic attack.”
“Come on, man. We need to get you to your room.” Alex, at least I thought it was Alex, gripped my arm, pulling me down the hallway.
“I—I—I can’t … I can’t do this.” I managed to release the words from my throat.
I didn’t want to be here anymore. I didn’t want to do this. I wanted to go home. I wanted Romy. I think I blacked out at some point back in that pressroom because I had no idea what I’d said.
“Jude, listen to me.” Alex gripped my neck, bringing us face-to-face. “What’s five plus three?”
I attempted a breath, but it was like breathing through a pinched straw. My head swam. My heart pounded in my ears. Was I having a heart attack?
“I’m going to pass out,” I confided.
“No, you’re not.” Alex pulled me a few steps before pushing me down into a chair. “What’s five plus three?” he asked again.
“Five plus three?”
It was the math question Alex always asked me in the corner when I felt as if I was being pulled under.
“Yeah, five plus three.”
I took a shuddering breath, squeezing my eyes shut to think. “Five plus three. Five plus three is … eight.”
Alex patted my shoulder. “Good. Now take a deep breath, count to ten, and breathe out.”
“We have to get him up to his room.” Jessica’s voice sounded anxious beside us. “The last thing we need is anyone seeing him like this.”
“I need … I need to call Romy,” I said, putting my hand out for my phone.
“It’s blowing up with press calls. We’re going to turn it off for a while, at least until we can assess the situation,” Jessica explained, pocketing my phone.
“I’ll give her a call,” Alex spoke up, knowing that’s what I needed. I needed Romy. “Let’s just get you settled first, and then I’ll call her.”
“I’ll put in a call to his therapist.”
“No. I got this.” I didn’t need to talk to someone right now. I just needed Romy.
“You’re in the middle of a panic attack, Jude. You need to see a doctor and talk to your therapist,” Jessica urged.
“She’s right.” Alex helped me to my feet. “I’ll get our doc in, and Jessica can call Dr. Deborah. You fight in less than forty-eight hours. We have to make sure you’re okay before you head into the cage.”
Jessica tucked herself into my side, her shoulder holding me up, while Alex took the other side.
“The elevator is just right here, baby. Let’s get you up to your room. We’ll run a shower and get you some electrolyte water while we wait for the doctor.”
Hearing Jessica call me baby made me feel as though I was betraying Romy in some way, even though I wasn’t the one saying it. It felt all kinds of wrong . Like how a horse must feel when someone pats it on the muzzle. I didn’t like it one fucking bit.
romy
I watched the dusk turn into dark through the blinds … waiting.
My body was exhausted from being in the saddle most of the day and bathing over a dozen horses. I needed the rest. I wanted to try and call him one last time before I fell asleep.
I dialed his number, preparing myself to get his voicemail again.
Come on, Jude. Pick up.
“Hello?” came a sultry voice.
I pulled the phone away from my ear. Did I call the wrong number? But no, Jude’s name and face flashed on the screen.
“Who’s this?”
“This is Jessica. How can I help you?”
Jessica. Shit. Jude’s ex and publicist. Why was she answering his phone?
“Um.” I hated that I hesitated. “Is Jude there?”
“He’s in the shower right now.”
Fuck! She was in his hotel room while he took a shower? What the fuck? There must be an explanation for why she was there … wasn’t there?
I felt my heart fracture into a thousand tiny pieces.
“Do you want me to take a message?” she asked.
If he didn’t have the decency to call me back, letting me worry all night, I didn’t need him calling me back.
“No. It’s all right. Have a good night.”
I ended the call before she could say another word.
There was no way in hell I was going to sleep now. I hurled my phone across the room, letting it land with a thunk on the rug. I hoped it fucking shattered! Throwing myself against the pillows like a petulant child, I wanted to rage. Scream. I couldn’t take this. I needed to know what was going on. I needed him .
My pulse pounded in my ears while I huffed breaths into the pillow. It progressed louder and louder until I thought my chest would burst.
But it was feet drumming up the porch steps.
Then a fist was pummeling the front door.