Chapter 10 #2
“That’s not . . . you don’t make me feel chaotic.” She huffed a laugh. “Jake, my normal is chaos. Being near you . . . things go quiet.” She rolled her eyes—maybe not used to expressing her feelings like this—and looked down at our feet.
I waited for her to look back up. It was only when she met my eyes and I was sure she could see that what I was about to say was true that I spoke. I kept my voice low and steady.
“I like you, Ali. I know I haven’t known you for long, and I have no idea what your life was like in Chicago.
But I like you and I want to know you. You’re funny and kind and unpredictable.
I am drawn to you in a way I can’t explain and I can’t turn away from.
That probably sounds pathetic, and I am sure you garner a lot of attention everywhere you go.
But this intensity you’re feeling . . . It’s not forced.
It’s not artificial. I feel it too. It scares me a little too. It’s new for me also.”
Her mouth dropped open. Maybe to protest? But no sound came out. Like it was a reflex, but she didn’t allow it to disturb us.
“Ali, you are never—never—temporary. Even if you are only staying here just one summer. You’re here. We . . . the entire town wants to know you. I want to know you.”
Her eyes reflected the moonlight more than they had a moment before, glassy but no tears fell. They gleamed. A stirring sensation was rising within me. Making me feel reckless again. She nodded slightly. Slowly. Her eyes never leaving mine.
I looked down at her lips. I couldn’t help myself. Our heads were millimeters apart. Our noses sidled against each other. I could smell the orange that Calvin had twisted into her cocktail—sweet and tangy.
I lightly pressed my forehead to hers, the rhythm of our breaths syncing even as mine became a little shaky. None of this was planned. No forethought. No calculating the risks. I stepped into this new territory without hesitation.
“Is this . . . okay?” I asked.
She nodded and tilted her head back slightly as her eyes closed.
“Your honesty is disarming.” Her voice was husky.
“My honesty just is, Ali. I don’t play games. Tell me what you want,” I asked, our lips brushing the sliver of space between us. Not quite touching.
“Kiss me, Ja—”
I didn’t even let her finish saying my name.
My lips were on hers. I held us pressed there, letting the electricity surge.
Pulse. Then I parted my lips and hers followed.
I slipped my tongue against her bottom lip and felt the vibration of her response rather than heard the gasp she let escape.
Our mouths danced tentatively at first, not wanting the swell to take us under too fast, but then we surrendered to the intensity.
And damn it if sparks weren’t lighting us up here on the trail under the dark sky.
Electricity. It was indisputable and so rare. At least for me.
Somehow, I had backed her against a tree.
We were off the trail now. Hidden in the shadows of the thick trunk and low branches.
The support from the tree let me press my body against hers.
There was no denying what she did to me.
My pants grew tighter. I trailed hard kisses down her jaw and leaned into the dip of her neck.
Her chin lifted to give me space. One hand tugged my hair, the other pulling at the neck of my T-shirt.
Sharp, hard, gasping breaths tumbled from her body.
I worked my way back up to her beautiful full lips and .
. . voices. Voices were becoming louder, coming toward us.
I stiffened. I could feel my eyes widen excessively—too excessively—as I realized we were out in the open, making out with reckless abandon in a town that loves to gossip.
And it was with Ali. This insanely sexy woman who’d just blown into town.
I quickly schooled my expression back to neutral.
I didn’t want to alarm her. I did a quick scan of our surroundings.
This blessed tree was keeping us hidden enough that whoever was coming our way wouldn’t see us if we stayed still and quiet.
I laid my finger on my lips to signal for us to be quiet.
She made a silly face in response, and I pressed our foreheads together, new smiles on our faces. We were being naughty. It was exciting.
“Well, it’s obvious he has a crush.” It was Mrs. Lopez. Her voice was very recognizable: high-pitched and bubbly.
“His song was good. What was the band again?” That was surely Mr. Lopez.
“Eddie, who cares about the song. That boy has a crush, but she’s not right for him. This is dangerous. Jake is going to get hurt . . . again. That poor boy needs someone steady,” she said.
That confirmed it. They were talking about me.
The levity of the moment between me and Ali vanished completely.
I stood stock-still, just cradling her head in my hands but no longer looking at her.
My head tilted in the direction of Mr. and Mrs. Lopez’s voices.
My jaw tensed, the space between my eyebrows coming together in frustration.
“We have no idea what Jake needs,” said Mr. Lopez.
Yes, exactly, Mr. Lopez!
“I know things, Eddie. Jake is a solid man. He needs a solid partner. And this doesn’t bode well for the campaign to keep our town out of the clutches of that big-city bulldozer, that is for sure!” Mrs. Lopez said. “We need Jake to stay focused.”
“Carol, I think you’re reading too much into it . . .”
Their voices trailed off ahead of us and out of earshot, on their way home on the trail. Mrs. Lopez’s comments were like a bucket of cold water.
I backed a few steps away from Ali and fixed my shirt, adjusted my pants. We stood just looking at each other. A few beats passed. Neither of us said anything. I watched her breath become steady and controlled.
I had no idea what was running through her head.
How much of what Mrs. Lopez said made any sense to her?
Maybe I should have drawn attention to it.
Rationalized away all that Mrs. Lopez had to say.
But I didn’t want to. Not now. Not here.
Not as we were just getting to know each other.
Not as I was still recovering from that kiss.
So instead I asked her, “Can I walk you home?”
“Sure,” she said quietly.
Her fingers touched her lips before dropping by her side. She pushed off the tree at her back. I reached back and grabbed her hand gently.
“Is this okay?” I asked, looking down at our hands.
She had stepped out of the shadows, and her body was bathed in moonlight once again. She nodded yes.
We started walking. Hand in hand. I opened the flashlight on my phone to light the path directly in front of our steps.
It was nice. Wholesome and in complete contradiction to what I wanted to do with Ali just a few minutes ago.
In the wide open. On the trail. Against a tree.
Just feet away from almost the entire town.
She did make me a little bit reckless, this one.
The only thing weird about that was that I liked it.
I didn’t want to stop. Stopping was the right thing to do, I reminded myself.
I’d promised Misha I would get her home safely, after all.
Ali looked down at our clasped hands. Then she looked away and sighed as she took in the moonlit path. My rational mind was clicking back into place.
“Ali, Mrs. Lopez. What she said. It’s not—” I started to say, but she cut me off.
“It’s a pretty night. Look, it’s a sky full of stars,” she said, a gentle nod to the song I sang tonight.
I paused for a beat. It seemed she too thought it would be better not to draw attention to Mrs. Lopez’s comments right now.
I looked up at the sky. It was a clear night, and the sky was indeed full of pinpricks of light.
“Hmm . . .” I nodded with my neck tilted toward the sky.
“Tell me about the wildflowers,” she said.
We began to walk at an easy pace. The energy between us now felt timid. I appreciated how Ali brought up a topic that was safe and comfortable.
“Those are better to see during the day. Although there isn’t too much to see right now anyway. The summer blooms will be opening soon, though.” I let myself sink into the ease of the moment.
“I remember from my summers here with Gibby.” She thought for a moment.
“It’s like they’re allowed to exist here.
They’re typically considered a nuisance, right?
Weeds? It’s kind of crazy, if you think about it.
It’s unusual that they can exist here as they were intended to.
It seems kind of radical, you know? I didn’t recognize that aspect as a kid.
It’s a special side of Lakeside that most outsiders don’t even know about. ”
She reached out to touch the growing reeds on the very edge of the trail.
“I want to know more.”
I smiled.
“Oh, Ali. The depth of my knowledge about wildflowers and Lakeside is going to expose me for the absolute nerd that I am. Are you sure you’re ready for this?” We were moving away from timid. Back toward ease.
She smiled and laughed. It was the best sound I’d heard all night. And so I told her the story about our wildflowers.