Chapter 11 #3
“You’re not wrong, Ali.” Jake parroted my earlier statement. “You get me.”
I stopped and a smile snuck across my mouth. Warm tingly sensations settled into the base of my belly at the thought. I get him.
Whoa, girl! Steady. Time to remember my decision. Just friends. Neighbors. Buddies. But his vulnerability, handsome smile, and brilliant eyes were making me all swoony again. I needed to nip this in the bud. I whipped myself around and hugged myself.
“Thanks for all your help on the day I arrived, by the way. Coming here . . . it’s all a complicated mess.
I’m in a weird place in my life right now, and I don’t have a plan or .
. . purpose. You must have caught on to how high-maintenance I am.
But most of the time I am self-reliant. Not so needy.
Lately, my life . . . it’s all over the place. I’m all over the place.”
“You’re not high-maintenance.” He walked toward me, closing the safe distance I was trying to create.
“Ha! I am pretty sure most of the town would beg to differ based on my luggage load alone.” That little nugget was going to follow me for the rest of my life here in Lakeside, I was sure of it.
“Don’t let any of that bother you. You’ll find that the people in this town are accepting and friendly,” he said. “As for a plan and purpose, you have those now. The cold plunge tomorrow. And we’re working together on the thing for the village, right? Against GlennGlobal.”
“Right. Yes. You’re probably right. I’m really glad I met you, Jake. I think you and I could be great friends.” Like an old phonebook dropping from the highest shelf, that word, friends, thudded on the ground between us, sending up a cloud of dust we both wanted to swat away.
He nodded with pursed lips. Understanding washed over him. Friends.
I continued, “Listen, I’m . . . I’m not in a place to get involved with anyone right now.
I know we kind of gave in and blew off some steam the other night, but I don’t think it would be a good idea to do that again.
” I met his eyes. I hated reducing our connection to blowing off steam, but that seemed safer than all my other thoughts.
Time to reveal my hand. That would surely turn him off and rid us both of this torture.
“I came here because my life in Chicago crumbled. Things got messy and I was—not to sound too dramatic about it—but I was cast away. There are a lot of things about me that I don’t necessarily like. Or even recognize.
“I was fired—pretty traumatically—from GlennGlobal. Wrongfully, but still I totally embarrassed my father. Oh, and at the same time I discovered my boyfriend of two years, Ryan, and my roommate-slash-best friend were hooking up behind my back. Then my dad . . . well, he basically gave up on me.
“Lakeside has always been a special place for me where I can be myself. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that when my life imploded, I found my way back here. I need to find myself again.
“Also, the neighbor we overheard the other night. On the trail. Who interrupted our, ah . . . You know. By the tree . . . She was right. I’m not a good match for someone steady and practical like you. And besides. My breakup is raw. I’m not ready for anything romantic. Does that make sense?”
“Okay. Yes, of course. I get it.” A shadow fell across his face. Disappointment. He looked out toward the water again. Away from me.
“But hey. Can we be friends?” I asked tentatively.
“Sure. Friends. Absolutely,” Jake said with a friendly smile that didn’t completely reach his eyes.
I hated letting him down. My insides weren’t used to this uncomfortable feeling. My instinct was to flee . . . if not physically at least by making everything better. Lighter. Carefree. Less serious.
“Well, not just a friend. Also cold plunge coach and village rescue sidekick, right? You’ll be so sick of me by the end of the summer.” Easy. Breezy. But then a breath. The fake positivity was wobbly at best. More quietly, I asked the question that would prop up my confidence again. “Is that okay?”
“Of course. Sounds fun.” A sweet smile spread across his lips but didn’t match his eyes. A smile mask on a stick lifted to his mouth. Blocking his real expression, which I didn’t know him well enough yet to understand.
A twinkling sound started to ring from somewhere on the kitchen counter.
“That’s my alarm. I have to get ready for work.” He said it as a fact. He had a schedule to keep. He moved past me into the kitchen and touched the side of his phone to silence the alarm.
“Oh God. Of course. Those pets aren’t going to doctor themselves . . .” A fake laugh. I hated that my reflex was to sink back into a phony response.
“Since you have your schedule open there, shall we meet on the dock at five a.m. tomorrow?” I was serious about the cold plunge, and I wanted him to be there with me.
“An early riser? I did not peg you for an early riser. Sure. I can do that,” Jake said.
I left Jake’s feeling back in control of the situation and my emotions. I’d set boundaries. He’d accepted. We could be mature about this. Friends. It was foolproof.