Chapter 31 #2
“But she was the strong one, and she did do the hard thing. The right thing. And thank fucking Christ she did. Because I was too much of a coward. Too scared to veer off course and change the stupid plan, even though I knew too. I knew it wasn’t the happily ever after we both deserved.
“That’s why I hugged her and showed her grace tonight. I can’t stop thinking about you. You’re the one who makes me feel alive. You’re the one who made all the hurt, the years alone, all worth it. So I would be the man for you when our paths finally crossed.
“You could never be too much. Not to me. Because you’re everything.”
I continued, “If you can’t see us being forever, I don’t care. I just want this, now. It’ll be enough.” I sighed, knowing damn well it could never be enough. “Please. Ali?” I said, my eyes holding on to her like she was about to walk off a cliff.
“Won’t it just be harder when I go?” She whispered the question like it pained her to ask it.
“It’ll already be hard. Might as well enjoy the time we do have.” I pressed my lips together, trying to hold them steady.
The mood shifted, the tension in her face relaxing. Her eyes changed first.
“By the way,” she said softly, “you are not boring. That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.”
She placed her hand over mine on the edge of the bed. I felt the warmth of it straight to my chest.
“I know you say you’re grateful to Charlotte for what she did. But she hurt you. And I think that hurt made you believe things about yourself that aren’t true.”
I swallowed, not sure what to say. Didn’t want to interrupt.
“Jake, you’re steady. You’re reliable. Those are strengths.
” Her thumb made gentle circles on my palm.
“You’re kind. Caring. Dependable. So warm.
You don’t avoid life. You don’t run from hard things or complicated things.
You walk straight into them with this . .
. quiet confidence. Honesty. It’s incredibly sexy. ”
Something pulled tight behind my ribs. A snap. A zap of affection.
“It makes me feel calm,” she continued. “Settled. Safe.” Her voice lowered to a hush. “I really, really want to trust that. Trust myself with it.”
Her shoulders lowered like she’d dropped something heavy.
I pressed our foreheads together. Rested my palm on the side of her face. Caressed her cheek with my thumb. She tilted her cheek into my touch.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I said back at the restaurant. I didn’t even want to dance with that guy. I don’t want to fight with you. That’s not how I want to spend our time together,” she said in a hushed whisper.
I brushed my lips across hers the way I knew she liked. She melted a little into my chest, her breathing slowing down, relief passing through us both.
“How do you want to spend our time together, Ali?”
Her eyes opened and she looked emboldened.
“With you inside me,” she breathed.
That admission was all I needed. All the pent-up frustration and desperation I felt earlier had nowhere left to go, so I released it as I crashed our mouths together and kissed her deeply.
She surrendered into the intensity. I moved my hands down her body and lifted her against me. I guided her to wrap her legs around my waist. I realized then that she wasn’t wearing anything under the T-shirt. My T-shirt. It drove me crazy to know that her bare ass moved against the thin cotton.
Our kissing grew more frantic. I moved us and positioned her against the textured beige wall.
I knew there was so much to talk out. So much more I wanted to say to reassure her.
To make sure she knew the space in my arms, in my heart, in my world, was her-shaped.
Indispensable. Irreplaceable. But right now, I wanted to show her, not tell her.
I wanted to let our bodies do all the deeper communicating.
“Pull your shirt up so I can see your tits,” I growled into her mouth.
She did as she was told. I could feel how much she liked me taking charge when we fucked.
“Bring your fingertips to my mouth.”
She placed her four fingers to my lips, and I licked each one.
“Now touch your nipples.”
She did as she was told.
“God, Ali. You make me so hard.”
I angled our bodies so she was propped against the wall with her legs draped around my waist. I was able to free my hands from her ass and unbutton my jeans and slide them down my hips. Then I tore my own shirt off and threw it across the room.
“You’re so fucking hot, Jake. Fuck. I love the way you handle me.” She was moaning. I could see she was so turned on.
“Do you still want me inside you?”
“Yes. Now.”
“Shit. Condom. Hang on.” I paused to place her down again, but she suddenly stopped me.
“No, fuck it. Please fuck me now, Jake. IUD. We’re clean. I want this,” she panted.
“Are you sure, Ali? I need you to be absolutely sure. Can I finish inside you?”
“Yes. Come inside me. I want to feel every bit of you. I want to be filled with you.” She was quieter when she said that. Maybe a little scared.
Everything stilled. My breath. My body. I think I forgot what I wanted to do to her.
For a solid beat, I couldn’t move. Because I knew what this meant, and it wasn’t just about the lack of latex.
It was about trust. About permission. It was her letting me in—not just physically, but fully.
I searched her eyes for any hesitance. But saw none.
Just heat. Openness. And something deeper.
This wasn’t casual for her either. I told her I was falling in love with her.
She couldn’t say it back. I understood. But this was a step toward an intimacy beyond any words.
It was a choice. There would be no pretending this didn’t mean more. Not for her and certainly not for me.
I guided my cock to her entrance. She was soaked and more than ready for me. I grasped her ass hard. She liked it a little rough. I moved my dick inside her. I bucked my hips and lifted up on my toes; my calves were fully flexed as I thrust up and down inside her.
“You don’t have to do any of the work here, baby. Just enjoy.”
“Oh yes, Jake. Fuck.”
I loved the way she let herself get foul-mouthed with me. Her groans, sharp inhales, and whimpers were my favorite sounds.
I could feel her thighs beginning to tense.
She was coaxing me for more friction. I took my time with more thrusts, making sure to add pressure around her opening.
Slapping against her clit. I let my fingers roam a little along the slit of her ass.
Just a graze to stimulate her pleasure spots there.
Her excitement was building. I could feel it start to tighten around my dick.
“Don’t stop. Oh God. Yes,” she cried out.
I leaned in close to her ear. Nipped her lobe and blew a little air against her before I whispered gruffly, “Come for me, baby. All over my bare cock. I love watching you. It’s never been like this with anyone but you.”
A few more friction-heavy thrusts and she shattered. Ripples of pleasure trembled through her body. Her pussy tightened around my dick. More whimpers and groans. But when she screamed out my name in ecstasy, I was incapable of holding back any longer. I crashed right along with her.