13. Benji
I definitely lied to Jack when I said I didn’t have a Santa kink because seeing him all dressed up seems to really do it for me. Something about that man in costume is just undeniably delicious and apparently it doesn’t matter what the costume is. Even with a big fake belly and a scratchy wig and beard…he looks delectable. Oh god, I have a weird costume kink. The thought makes me let out a startled chuckle and Jack glances over at me with an eyebrow raised. I shrug and try to focus on the task at hand.
Jack has made a wonderful Santa and I’m not the only one enamored with him. He’s gentle and kind, spending time asking each child their name and Christmas wish.
I’m slowly starting to trust Jack when he says that he wants me, that he’s in this for the long run. Of course, the anxious voice in my mind is still whispering that when everything is resolved with Jessica, when the main grieving period has come to an end, and Jack no longer needs me he’ll move on to greener pastures. Lately though, that voice has been quieter and there’s another voice whispering what-ifs about a future where we actually work out.
Now that I’m in his good graces and surly Jack is gone, I’m getting to enjoy the charismatic man that I spent years watching Jack be with everyone but me. He’s so charming and shockingly sweet that occasionally the shift still makes my head spin.
Jack lets out a fake laugh that’s more ho ho ho than chuckle and I can’t help but grin as the face of the child on his lap lights up. I snap a picture when they both look my way and hand the polaroid off to their parent that’s waiting to the side. She whispers a thanks and we both watch as her child picks a gift from Santa’s bag and skips over.
The kids love this event but when I look over at the parents there’s often a more somber tone. For some of these kids, this will be one of the only Christmas activities they get to participate in and for more than a handful this will be their only gift. I like doing this event because I get to add a little Christmas magic for children and to ease the burden for their parents.
Many of these families are couch surfing, living in their car, or staying in a shelter. Bend has such limited resources that the options are limiting for families and housing is getting insanely expensive. A lot of these families will eventually be forced to leave the area due to the ever increasing cost of living and the lack of affordable housing. I’ve been very fortunate that my photography business has done as well as it has otherwise I would be in a similar situation.
When the last child in line has had their turn, we help usher the families over to a buffet spread that was donated by a few local restaurants and help serve up plates until everyone is happy and seated. Jack is charming as he circles the room, making the children and adults alike laugh. If I wasn’t already head over heels for this man, I think watching him act like Santa would be enough for me to fall in love.
When the last few people have trickled out the door, we spend a while helping to clean up. It’s quick work thankfully and I’m more than ready to get Jack home. My own costume consists of a pair of red and white stripped tights and a mid-thigh green and red tunic that feels like a dress. The bells on my pointy shoes jingle every time I walk and the elf hat I’m wearing is incredibly itchy. My curls feel like they’re matting underneath it and I’m so ready to get out of this damn costume.
I bend over to pick up a few stray pieces of trash and Jack slips up behind me to palm my ass. I can’t help but let out a squeak even though most of the other volunteers have already left.
“I don’t understand how the fuck you make an elf costume look hot but you somehow do. Wanna rip these tights off of you.”
“Jack! We’re in public!”
“Yeah, well I want you and I honestly don’t give a damn who knows it. Your place or mine, baby?”
“Mine is closer.”
“Yours it is then.”
The drive back to my place is fairly quick but the snow is really coming down now. I’m glad Jack decided to pick me up because his Jeep does a lot better than my beat up Civic would. The city doesn’t have as many street lights as I would prefer but with the fresh coating of white everything is practically glowing. The snow on the ground is the pretty kind that seems to almost sparkle when the lights from his headlights hit it.
Some winters it can be very dry in the weeks leading up to Christmas but this year we’ve been nearly constantly blanketed in snow. It makes everything feel more festive and somehow, despite everything, I’ve been able to find a bit of Christmas spirit. Seeing Jack in a Santa costume certainly has me in a certain Christmas-y mood.
As soon as we’re out of the Jeep, Jack’s hands are all over me, groping and feeling any area he can reach. It’s freezing out and while my puffer coat helps, the tights I’m wearing do very little to block the cold wind. I practically run for the door, laughing as Jack slams into my back while I fumble with my keys and the lock. When the door finally opens a gush of warm air washes over me and we rush inside.
Jack begins hastily yanking my thick coat off and I would laugh at how needy he’s being but I feel a similar level of desperation myself. Jack has already ditched the beard but is still in the rest of his Santa costume, including the silly cotton under his shirt to give him his plump appearance.
“You gonna bend me over Santa?”
“I was thinking about sucking your candy cane first.”
“I think I’ll come the second your lips are around me.” I huff out a laugh at Jack’s absurd candy cane joke but it turns into a moan as Jack starts mouthing at my neck. My cock starts filling so fast that I’m practically dizzy with need.
“You say that like it’s a problem.”
“Wanna come with you inside me. Been waiting all day.”
“You really do have a costume kink, don’t you?”
“Psh, as if seeing me in these tights hasn’t been driving you wild all day”
“Baby, you could be wearing a potato sack and it would still drive me wild. I’m constantly desperate to get in that tight hole of yours.”
Jack’s hands start skimming up and down my thighs, rubbing and massaging a bit before he roughly cups my ass with both hands. His hands are massive and each covers the full expanse of one of my cheeks. One of his fingers strays towards my crease and he begins teasing me through the thin fabric of the tights.
“Baby, did you forget your panties this morning?” Jack’s voice is a deep rumble against my neck and my dick leaks in response.
“No! I’m in a jock. My briefs kind of showed through the tights.”
“Fuck, bend over. I want to see.”
Jack guides me to bend over the arm of the couch and I have to stand on my tip toes to keep my feet on the ground. Jack wastes no time and pulls my tights down to my knees and immediately lets out a groan. I’m still wearing my tunic and hat, my tights pressed against my knees and my feet still in the silly shoes that ring every time I move.
“I love how perky your ass looks in these.” Jack pulls on one of the straps and lets it snap against my skin. I let out a little hiss even though it’s not super painful. “Love how easy it is to fuck your little hole, such easy access.”
Jack’s fingers skim down my crease, teasing but never really touching me where I desperately need it. After just a few minutes of teasing I’m getting desperate, rutting against the arm of the couch, leaking precum all over my jock.
“Please fuck me, Jack.”
“I haven’t even prepped you yet baby.”
“Need it now. Lube is in the drawer.” I wave a hand frantically towards the coffee table and sigh in relief as Jack retrieves the lube. “Fuck me now, please.”
“Gotta prep this little hole of yours-”
“No, wanna feel it. I need you in me now.”
“You really are my naughty little elf aren’t you, Benji. You want Santa to fuck you with his thick cock? Split you in two and have you walking funny tomorrow?”
“Yes, please.”
“Beg for it, Benji. Beg Santa for his cock.”
God, he’s really leaning into the Santa costume and I’m a bit ashamed about how into it I am. My cock is leaking profusely against my jock and I’m positive there’s a huge wet patch. I’m also positive that the second Jack does slide into me I’ll come from the sting of his thick cock stretching me.
“Please fuck me with that thick cock Santa. Want to feel you stretch out my tight, needy hole. Need it, please.”
“Such a polite elf.”
I can hear Jack slicking his cock with lube and then I feel the familiar cold trick as he pours more down my crack. The blunt head of his cock nudges against my hole and I bear down and feel the first inch slip inside. Jack and I fuck enough that it’s not as much of a stretch as it would normally be. Instead, there’s a slight sting and an overwhelming sensation of being full. I rock back, trying to force more of his cock inside.
“So fucking needy for it. Your hole is practically desperate for me to fill it.”
I rock back again as Jack thrusts forward and I take him to the hilt in one fluid movement. His cock slides past my prostate and I let out a litany of curse words as my cock spurts my load into my already soaked jock. My whole body trembles as Jack continues to leisurely rock into me. The stimulation is almost too much but then my nerves begin lighting up with pleasure again. My cock doesn’t go soft between orgasms and the friction of the couch pressing against me and the slide of my dick through my own come is overwhelming.
“My messy little elf. I love how fast that cock of yours goes off. Can barely get inside you before you’re making a mess in your panties. You gonna be a good boy and let Santa fuck you through another one?”
“Fuck Jack.”
“Uh-uh, say it.”
“Fuck Santa.” I groan and blush but I say what he wants to hear.
“That’s my good little elf.”
“Wanna see you.”
Jack wastes no time, pulling out and quickly scooping me up like I weigh nothing. He carries me bridal style into my bedroom and plops me down on the bed. I love it when he manhandles me, our size difference is just big enough that it feels erotic.
“Let me see that pretty little cock.”
I flush a little as I pull my messy jock down, my cock bobbing up and smacking against my lower belly. It shouldn’t be hot when he comments on how small my dick is, really I should be offended, but he somehow makes it sound like it's a good thing, like he loves that I have a small dick.
I spread my legs and pull them up to my chest, revealing my hole to him. I’m sure it looks puffy and fucked out already because Jack’s eyes cloud over with lust as he stares down at it. Just to spur him into action, I decide to play into the Santa fantasy.
“You gonna fuck my hole, Santa? Want to feel you come inside me. Gonna give me a present?”
“You’re going on Santa’s naughty list, Benji.”
Jack reaches past me to retrieve the lube I’ve been leaving on the nightstand because we use it so often. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much sex in my entire life; Jack and I fuck pretty much every chance we get. I wondered if the thrill of finally having him would fade but honestly it seems like it only gets hotter the more we do it. Jack knows how to play my body, knows all of my sensitive spots, and exactly what to say to push me over the edge.
Jack yanks me to the edge of the bed so that my ass is just about hanging off. He takes a moment to slick his cock up again and then pushes back inside me. I let out a gasp at the new angle and clench around him, causing Jack to grunt.
“Your tight little hole is practically strangling my cock. Feels so good.”
I clench around him again and let out my own moan when his cock head grinds against my prostate. Jack starts fucking me in long, languid strokes. The bells on my feet ring a little bit with each thrust and my tights are still tight against the stretch of my knees. He bends his knees a little bit so his cock is pressed upwards on each stroke, grinding against my prostate. I can already tell I’m going to come embarrassingly fast, especially considering it’s my second orgasm.
Every thrust has me seeing stars, my legs trembling as my groin and spine begin to tingle with pleasure. Jack looks like sin as he fucks into me, still wearing his entire Santa outfit, only his cock is free from his pants. The hat sits crooked on his head and flashes me a wicked wink when he catches me staring.
I pull my tunic up, trying to get it out of the way because I know I’m about to make a mess all over it now that my jock isn’t on.
“You gonna come again already, baby? That little cock of yours seems to go off as soon as I stretch your hole.”
I let out another high pitched moan and rock back onto his cock. My orgasm rips through me and come spurts up my chest in short spurts. It’s a lot less than the first load, which is fortunate because it keeps my tunic from getting too dirty. I clench around Jack’s cock and he lets out a loud ‘fuck’ and thrusts as deep as he can, grinding into me as his own orgasm is pulled out of him.
After a moment, Jack looks up at me with an amused smirk as he takes in my disheveled costume. He pulls out and rolls onto the bed next to me, quickly pulling me against his chest. I can feel his come leaking out of my now loose hole and sigh contentedly.
“Stay the night?”
“Always baby, hate sleeping without you. I want to spend every night with you, Benji.”
My chest clenches because I believe him when he says that and I’m starting to think we really might have a future together. I might actually get to keep my dream guy, my first love. Really, Jack has been my only love, the only man I’ve ever been able to imagine keeping forever. It’s both exciting and terrifying.
When Jack asked me to go to the tree lighting with him, I was a bit surprised. If only because we’ve literally spent the last forty-eight hours wrapped up in each other, barely surfacing for food. Grubhub and the local pizza delivery are the only reason we’ve even eaten. Jack is intoxicating and I’m still just as desperate to feel him moving inside me as I was that first time. The feeling seems to be mutual because he’s constantly bending me over and railing me within an inch of my life.
“Did you go to the lighting with Jessica last year?” The question pulls me from my less than innocent thoughts and I smile a bit sadly at Jack.
“Yeah, we got this spiked hot chocolate from a local vendor and walked around all tipsy. Jessica had on this cute little peacoat that was totally weather inappropriate so she ended up in my puffer all night while I froze.”
“Sounds like Jess, I remember in high school our parents would constantly get on her for wearing a rain jacket when it was ten degrees out. She’d always reply-”
“Style sometimes trumps comfort. Though honestly I remember that rain jacket and I never understood her obsession with it.”
“It was more a trench coat than an actual rain jacket.”
“I told her one time that she looked like she was going to open it up and flash people. You know she kept that old thing?”
“I never saw her in it?”
“You wouldn’t, she took my streaker comment to heart and would wear lingerie under it when she went to see this one regular hookup she had for a while.”
“Sounds like something out of a movie. You gonna get a trench coat and show up at my door in some pretty little panties and nothing else?”
“Jack! We’re in public!”
I look around nervously but everyone is busy doing their own thing and no one seems to notice us. Still, a flush burns down my cheeks and I bury my head into the crook between Jack’s arm and his torso.
“So? I told you, I don’t mind the whole world knowing how desperate I am to be inside that tight hole-”
I yank Jack down by the back of his head and silence him with a bruising kiss. The man seems to enjoy making me squirm in public but I’m not trying to get hard in public. We kiss for a moment under the twinkling lights, just our lips pressed together. When Jack tries to deepen the kiss I pull away with a gasp.
“Jack, we can’t be making out like teenagers. There’s a ton of families and people around.”
“You worried that little cock of yours is going to get hard? Baby, no one will even be able to tell through your jeans. You make the cutest little tent when you get excited.”
I smack Jack on the chest and roll my eyes even though he isn’t wrong that no one can tell, especially since his public dirty talk already has me half hard. I lace my fingers through his and pull him towards the massive tree that will soon be lit up with thousands of lights. There’s a crowd already gathering and we head over to the hot chocolate line.
Jack lets go of my hand and slides his arm around my ribs, pulling me into the crook of his arm. The simple gesture has butterflies going crazy in my stomach and I can’t help but swoon a little bit as I look up at Jack. He’s so handsome that I still find myself staring at him longingly occasionally. I’ve had all of his features memorized for years but even now his auburn hair and high cheekbones make my heart skip a beat. He towers over me and when he catches me staring he shoots me a flirty wink before moving forward to order for us.
“Hello, we’ll take two of the large peppermint schnapps hot chocolates.”
The cashier smiles when Jack stuffs his change into the tip jar. We step to the side and wait a few minutes before we’re able to collect our drinks and head to a spot where we can see the tree without being too crowded by the hoards of people.
Last year, Jessica and I had been a giggling mess as I shivered in her thin peacoat completely smashed from schnapps. We had to take a cab home because it wasn’t safe for either of us to be behind the wheel. I ended up spending the night on her sofa and waking up with a terrible hangover because three schnapps cocoas was clearly two too many.
I can’t help but wish Jessica could be here and we could all three enjoy the season together. Knowing that I’ll never get to share another holiday with her and that she’ll never see Jack and I together is a constant aching wound. I’m happy to be spending Christmas with Jack and getting to do all of the festivities together for the first time but I’m also keenly aware of who is missing. Everything feels bittersweet; the sorrow of losing Jessica is in juxtaposition with the joy of gaining Jack.
When the city finally lights the tree my hot chocolate is nearly gone and I’m curled tightly into Jack’s side, our breath filling the air with fog. The tree is stunning and we take a quick selfie, both of our faces flushed from the cold and easy smiles pulling our mouths up.
We spend a few more minutes enjoying the lights and ambiance before Jack starts guiding me back to his place. I’m a bit tipsy but thankfully it’s a short walk.
I can’t help but revel in the fact that I get to hold Jack’s hand and walk side by side under the twinkling lights. I never thought I would get to have this and I can’t help but savor the moment. Jack is an indulgent combination of sexy, constantly riling me up with his dirty talk, and romantic. He’s the only person I’ve ever met that can simultaneously make me hard and make me swoon at the same time.