Chapter Twenty-Seven
RYAN
Last night was a good time, but I do feel off as we head into the office. I know I’ll be seeing Tillie today, but that doesn’t help my unsettled stomach.
We got a text from Oliver this morning about a meeting first thing.
So Danger, Lunar, and I are headed straight for the boardroom.
As we walk the hall toward the boardroom, Danger and Lunar are lost in each other as always, while I stew in my own thoughts of seeing Tillie in mere seconds.
I feel sick and hate that I still have to work with her.
In a way, it would have been easier if she had left, but then I’d never see her again, and that would have been unbearable.
This is a lose-lose situation.
No matter which way I look at it.
The familiar sensation travels my spine, causing my hair to stand to attention, and just like that, I know I’m near her.
I grit my teeth as we round the corner and walk through the door into the boardroom.
Tillie’s working aggressively on her MacBook, tapping the keys like they’re her worst enemy, and I furrow my brows at the stern look on her face.
She doesn’t even look up when we enter. Matt and Nate are already seated as Oliver gives a curt nod.
“Sit down, please, guys,” he says in a firm voice, like he’s more than a little pissed off.
Danger and Lunar sit next to Tillie, and I sit at the end of the table.
“Okay, I’ve called you all in here because there’s currently a media uproar regarding Ryan’s healthy living.
His followers, of course, knew he was in the hospital two days ago being checked over for liver problems, and then last night, Miss Texas uploaded a Snapchat of her and Ryan to her followers, and they’re both holding glasses of what appears to be whiskey. ”
I tense as I look up and see Tillie. Her eyes beneath her glasses are watery and stern, like she’s mad as hell but too upset to say anything.
I sigh and shrug. “I had one drink with Lilah. Is that a crime?”
“When your liver is recovering… yes!” Tillie yells, and we all look at her as she takes a deep breath, composing herself again, and goes back to her MacBook.
“Is this about the alcohol or the girl?” I ask.
Her head snaps up as an awkward silence fills the room.
“The alcohol, you idiot. How could you be so stupid? Not only for your health and well-being, but also for your fans? They’re invested in your recovery, too, Ryan.
They want to see you get to your optimum health and fitness level, not throw it all away on a one-night bender. ”
I roll my eyes. “Relax, it was one drink.”
“Fine, kill yourself. You obviously don’t care. It’s just me that has to clean up your fucking mess!”
“If you don’t want the job… then leave!” I yell, and everyone shifts uneasily.
Tillie purses her lips, shutting her MacBook. “I won’t let you push me out of my job as well as your life… go fuck yourself, Ryan,” she chides before she stands and dashes out of the boardroom. My heart races fast at the pure hatred that was in her eyes and in her words. But it had to be done.
“Well, that was useful,” Nate says.
“Shut up, Nate,” I throw back.
“Ryan, be nice to Tillie, okay? She’s struggling as much as you are,” Oliver says.
“Doubtful,” I declare and rise to my feet, walking out of the boardroom to head up to the fire escape to get some much-needed fresh air.
***
Lunar and Danger were far too loved up at home. I couldn’t stand being around them, so I left. Told them I was going to see Matt and Nate.
I am not.
I made my way to a quaint little pub, found a nice, comfy stool on the dimly lit side of the bar, and started wasting my night away.
I don’t want to deal with couples, people’s sympathetic looks, or their fucking criticism.
I just wanted to find a place to come and forget everything.
It wasn’t my intention to drink. That’s not why I went to a pub.
But after being here for an hour, the smell of liquor got to me, and I thought one wouldn’t hurt.
Now I’m so many in that I haven’t kept count.
My head is foggy, my stomach is heavy, and my throat is burning as I sit at the bar with my head on my arm, just trying to keep breathing.
I’m wasted.
“Excuse me, have you got a light?” a smooth, sexy voice asks.
I glance up, my eyes roll back in my head, and I hiccup as I take in the two, no, one…
wait two, no, there’s one woman in front of me.
I think! As my eyes clear, I realize she’s a bombshell—red hair, smoky eyes, flaming red kissable lips, and a tight as fuck red dress.
Everything screams fuck me. I lick my lips as she stands with a cigarette hanging between her two fingers while she smirks at me.
I shake my head and sigh. “Sorry, love, no flame to light your fire.”
She tilts her head to the side. “Shame, you’re a looker. Would’ve been nice to roll around the sheets with you.”
I scoff out a half laugh. “Honey, I’m too drunk even to know if you have a twin standing there or if I’m seeing double right now.”
She giggles, shaking her head. “Wow! You really are wasted, and you don’t look so good. How about I help you to a cab? There are photographers outside. I think they’re here for you,” she offers as my stomach churns.
“Shit! Thanks. I’d appreciate the help.”
She assists me up from the seat, and I wrap my arm around her shoulders as I wobble on the spot. “Easy, sailor.”
As I try to right myself, I chuckle, and she supports me while I stumble out to the front.
When we reach the door, the cameras flash and go berserk.
The lights blind me, making me falter and flounder, and the woman helps by holding on to me.
People call out my name, making my head fuzzy.
Everything is a thick fog. I feel sick as she moves me to the closest cab.
The girl opens the cab's back door, and I accidentally fall backward, grabbing her, which sends us both into the cab.
She drops on top of me with a squeal, our faces mere inches apart.
We both laugh as I sweep her hair from her face, mainly to get it out of my face, and we both laugh at the silly mistake.
“It was nice to meet you, but you need to get home,” she says, sitting up. Then she pulls me with her so we’re both sitting before she steps out and bobs her head back down to look at me.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Drink water.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I say with a two-fingered salute as she shuts the cab door. I fall back down on the seat, close my eyes, and quickly tell the driver the address before I fade in and out of consciousness.
I make it home just in time to race to the bathroom and throw up the night’s efforts, which continue into the wee hours of the early morning.
***
A harsh coldness against my face startles me as I jolt awake.
My back twinges, and my stomach muscles ache.
My eyes flash open, and shiny white porcelain stares back at me.
I furrow my brows, wondering what the hell I’m looking at.
Blinking my eyes a few times, I try to gather my bearings.
My body’s aching in the most horrendous way.
My head pounds, my muscles are cramped. Everything is disobeying my brain.
My mouth is fuzzy and dry, and as I take a deep breath, a foul odor assaults me.
My stomach churns, and memories flood back, hitting me like a tidal wave.
Me.
Heaving.
In the toilet bowl last night.
I’m in the damn bathroom.
As I glance up, I realize the porcelain is the base of the toilet bowl.
I slowly pull myself into a seated position and press my back against the wall.
There’s mess everywhere. My clothes are half on me, half off.
There’s something on the floor that I don’t even want to hazard a guess as to what it is, and the bathroom stinks.
I fucking made a mess of myself, and this room is the proof of it.
My hand flops to my side, and a clink alerts me to something there, so I turn to see a giant glass of water and a bottle of painkillers beside me. Sighing, I rest my head against the wall, thinking about how stupid I was last night.
Popping out two pills, I swallow them with some water.
The water feels heavy in my stomach, making me want to puke all over again, but somehow, I keep the pills down.
I don’t know how, but I manage to stand and gather myself enough to head downstairs, even though I feel like I’m stumbling and my head is about to explode.
Danger and Lunar are in the kitchen making coffee, and they spot me as I make my way to them. Both turn and sigh, saying nothing.
Lunar stops me as I nod and attempt to walk past. “Did you take some painkillers?”
I exhale. I thought it might have been her who put them there. “I did, thank you.”
She simply nods, but Danger purses his lips. “Ryan, man, you gotta stop drinking. Like now.”
Clenching my eyes, I rub my temples and nod. “I know. I’m just so damn depressed.” I open my eyes to see them looking at me and frowning.
“Well, maybe that’s because of Tillie?”
I huff. “I’m better off just seeing her at work and not being romantically involved.”
“Bullshit! You’re meant for each other. You’re being a fucking scared little boy. Grow the fuck up!” Lunar yells and storms off, pushing past me as she goes.
Okay, so that’s new.
I’ve never seen Lunar that angry with me before.
Danger sighs as I lean back against the refrigerator door.
“Do you think I’m scared?” I ask.
“Honestly? Yes, you’re scared of history repeating, and in the action of being scared of losing something great, you are losing something great. You’re being a fool, Ryan. Wake up to yourself before it’s too late.” He walks off, leaving me reeling in the kitchen.
Shit! He’s fucking angry too.
Maybe I am being an idiot?
Maybe I’m not seeing this how it should be?
But I just don’t know if I could handle another loss in my life like Katie.
***