Chapter 6 #3
Elizabeth, who had been rearranging the flowers in the vase, sank into the chair near to her bed. “Miss Darcy, I never meant to imply—”
“I know, and Fitzwilliam does as well, but he wishes to protect me. I am dying, Miss Bennet, and my end will come sooner rather than later, but I would like to call you my friend in the time I have left.”
“You will be with us for a long while, and of course, you must call me Lizzy.”
“I should like to, but I first must tell you why we live in seclusion. I feel well enough today to speak at length. The truth pains me, but you should know it if you wish to be my friend, and if you decide you do not, I feel no doubt of your secrecy.
“After my father died, I was left to the guardianship of my brother and cousin, and was sent to school.
My lungs have never been strong, and a year ago I was taken from school and last summer went to Ramsgate for the sake of my health with a lady who presided over the establishment Fitzwilliam formed for me.
“There we met—seemingly by chance—my father’s godson, but I later learnt there was a prior acquaintance between my companion and him. He was a charming man, and—and I thought I was in love. I loved the idea of being in love, and being loved.
“He persuaded me to consent to an elopement, but when my brother arrived unexpectedly to see my health for himself, I confessed. Fitzwilliam explained to me how I had been deceived of that man’s true character, how revenge on my brother was the man’s object, and he wrote to Mr Wickham, who left Ramsgate and never contacted me again. ”
“I do not understand.” Whatever Elizabeth had thought Miss Darcy might confess, this was not it.
“I concede the imprudence of an elopement, but why did Mr Darcy not approve of him? Did he have no means to support a wife? What was the history between them? And how could he have revenged himself upon Mr Darcy by marrying you?”
Miss Darcy paused to take a drink. “I am already breaking my promise to speak nothing about it. I trust you not to ask me further.” Elizabeth could do nothing but promise not to press her.
“What matters is before my brother arrived, I. . . I gave myself to Mr Wickham . . . but after I learnt the truth about his nature, I did not wish to tie myself for life to an unworthy man.” She took a great inhalation.
“After Fitzwilliam sent him away, I learnt this guilty connexion was to have produced an offspring.”
It was an unbelievable shock. Elizabeth, affected by her story, and still more by her friend’s distress, could not speak. Miss Darcy looked at her expectantly, anticipating perhaps some scathing reprimand or for her to leave the room. Elizabeth nodded for her to continue.
“My brother planned to take me to a warmer climate for the sake of my lungs when I had to confess my condition. I had never seen so steady a man descend into the transports of rage.” Elizabeth frowned and shook her head when Miss Darcy stopped her.
“No, not against me; against my seducer. Fitzwilliam loves me the same, but it could not be known that his sister was to have a natural child, and rather than send me away to live in seclusion, he gave up his nearest connexions to stay by my side.”
“But why did you not travel abroad after all for your health and to conceal your condition?”
“I was too weak and ill from my lung ailment for an ocean voyage, and the physicians in town said I would not survive the crossing in my condition. But everyone we ever knew or loved believes us to be in Madeira for the sake of my lungs.”
Elizabeth counted the months backward and looked at Miss Darcy’s thin frame. “Did you only just deliver and give up the child?”
The tears that had been hovering on the edge of her eyelids fell.
“I swore to always keep it with me! My brother thought he would argue me out of my opinion, that I would agree to give up the child and we would go to a warmer climate after I was delivered. It was his way to ensure no one need know of my ruin. But I would never, ever have given up my child! He said the choice would be mine, but he still tried to convince me. I always refused.” She took a heaving breath. “But in the end, it did not matter.”
She began to cry in earnest, and Elizabeth sat on the bed and took the weeping girl into her arms.
“I was brought to bed of a dead child, two months before I was expected.”
Elizabeth’s chest burned with all the questions she wished to ask, but she silently rocked a young girl who mourned her baby, who was, to all appearances, in the last stage of a consumption, and had been lonely for too long.
She clung to Elizabeth like a child. Elizabeth’s heart was full of compassion and esteem for Georgiana Darcy.
When her sobs brought on a fit of coughing, the tears subsided.
“I was ruined, Miss Bennet, by a lying scoundrel, and I will never return home. We have lied to everyone who loves us. They think we are in Madeira, but I am too ill and in too much pain to travel now, and my brother will stay with me until I die, forsaking everything for me. And I still lost the child that I wanted despite all it would cost me. We are surrounded by threat of scandal, and it is all my fault. Should you wish to befriend a fool?”
Elizabeth took a firm hold of both of her hands. “Since we are in no doubt going to be the dearest of friends, Georgiana, you ought to call me Lizzy.”