CHAPTER 32
IRIS
The door closes behind Roman to leave a heavy silence settling over the room. Ilay holds me for a long moment with his arms tight around me and his face buried in my hair, I can feel him breathing me in as if trying to convince himself I’m really here.
I can also feel the tension in his body and the rage simmering just beneath the surface of his skin.
He pulls back slightly to look down at me before he guides me to the couch where I sit down slowly with legs that are still shaking.
I’m not sure what he is going to do next or what he is going to say, so I watch him walk over to the small bar in the corner to pour me a glass of water.
His hands are steady in a way that feels unnatural, as if he is forcing himself to stay calm.
He comes back and hands it to me before sitting down beside me. "Drink," he says.
I take the glass with trembling hands and drink before setting it down on the table. He watches me with eyes that trace the bruise on my cheek and the way I hold myself like I am still bracing for a hit.
"Tell me what happened," he says quietly. "Tell me what happened to you while you were in their captivity." I take a deep breath while my eyes drop to my hands. "It’s complicated."
"I have time, my love" he replies. I look up at him to search his face for any sign of mercy. "If I tell you then I need you to promise me something." He frowns and asks, "What?"
"Promise me that whatever is happening between us will not change and that you will not hurt them." He doesn’t say anything, but he reaches over and squeezes my hand. I take that as reassurance, though perhaps I shouldn’t. "My father is Radimir Miroslav," I say quietly.
He stares at me with blank eyes. "How are you sure that man is your father?"
"I’m not completely sure yet," I admit. "The blood test has not been done, but he knew my mother and my mother talked about him. Plus he kind of looks like me since we even have the same mole on our neck."
He looks at my neck and then back at my face. "So you know who your father is."
"Yes." He leans back and runs a hand through his hair.
"So now what? You don’t want me to kill him just because of some blood relationship?
" My blood runs cold, so I hold his hand tighter and nod.
He laughs a sound that devoid of kindness.
"My love, I don’t know if you think I am stupid or some soft son of a bitch, but I will wipe out your bloodline for the atrocities they committed. "
My eyes widen in panic. "Ilay, please listen to me."
"They kidnapped you," he says as his voice rises in volume. "They shot at me and they left you to almost be raped. Your father cannot take care of you. He never has and never will, because only I have the power to care for you." Tears well up in my eyes. "That’s not fair."
"Fair?" He stands up and lets go of my hand to pace the room. "Do you understand what I am saying? Your family could not even protect you. They let those men get to you and they let you get hurt, yet you are sitting here defending them?"
"They didn’t know who I was," I argue. "I don’t care!
" he shouts, making me flinch. "They should have known! They should have protected you the moment you stepped into that house, but they did not! And you almost paid the price for their shortcomings, if you were with me you wouldn’t have to fear for your life! "
I stand up and step into his line of vision, trying to make him see reason. "I don’t understand what you are asking me, what are you trying to say." He looks at me as his voice drops to a low and dangerous pitch. "I want you to choose."
"Choose what?" I ask. "Me or them." I blink in confusion. "What?"
"Choose," he says slowly. "Your family or me. Depending on your answer, that is how I will decide the fate of their lives."
I laugh dryly. "So this is how it is? You claim to love me but you still want to selfishly keep me from my new family?"
He whips his head around to face me. "You didn’t even know they existed until they kidnapped you. That’s pretty fucked up even by my standards."
I push his chest as anger flares in my gut. "So what? They didn’t know who I was, and this only happened because I took on that stupid case! You killed multiple people in the span of a week and even planned to commit genocide! Do you not see that you are just as fucked up as my fucked up family?"
I am crying now with tears streaming down my face. He steps closer until his face is inches from mine. "Maybe I am, but at least I would have burned the world down to keep you safe. What did they do? They let you get hurt."
"They saved me!" I scream. "After the fact!" he roars back. "After you were already hurt and after those men already put their hands on you! Where were they when it mattered, my love? Where was your father? Where were your brothers?"
I am sobbing now with my hands covering my face because I cannot breathe or think.
He takes a breath, but he does not stop.
"Your father never protected you," he says, his voice cold and cutting.
"He was not there when you were growing up. He was not there when your mother was dying. And he was not there when you needed him most. So don’t stand here and tell me he deserves your loyalty. "
Every word is a knife because he is not wrong, but that does not mean he is right. I look up at him with my face streaked with tears. "And what about you? You think threatening to kill my family makes you any better?"
"I never claimed to be better," he says flatly. "I claimed to be the only one who would do whatever it takes to keep you safe."
I shake my head and back away from him. "Your insane."
"Took you long enough to realize," he says. "But I am the one who tore this country apart to get you back while they did nothing." I stare at him for a long moment with my chest heaving. Then he grabs my chin and pulls me forward like he is about to kiss me, but instead he whispers in my ear.
"Get out." That was it. I blink in confusion. "What?"
"Get out," he says again, louder this time.
I stand there stunned before I scoff in disbelief.
"So this is who you are? This is what you do? We are trying to have a conversation and every time I try, you lash out. You are asking me to choose between two sides I barely know. You and them. Yeah, they hurt you, and I told you I resent them, but you are throwing me out because we don’t agree? What am I even saying?"
I shake my head. "I knew what you were like before I came here. You want to be alone? Then fine. Be fucking alone. Don’t call me when you are feeling broken. Don’t message me. Just move on with your life like I will with mine. We’re done."
He stares at me. "So you are really turning your back on me?"
"I never did," I snap. "But I will now." He grabs my wrist, and I yank it, but he doesn’t let go. "Let me fucking go, Ilay," I say as my voice shakes with anger. I hit his chest once, twice, and then again. Each punch is matched with my words. "Let. Me. Fucking. Go."
The last punch hits where he is still healing, so he lets go. I step back with ragged breath. "You want to be alone? Fine. Be alone." He laughs a sharp and bitter sound. "So you think just because I told you to get out, I meant out of my life?"
He shakes his head and rubs his temple. "You must be very fucking silly, my love.
" His voice drops in a way even I know implies he is not messing around.
"You are in my house. You are in enemy territory.
And since you decided not to be my woman, that makes you fair game.
You are a gazelle in a house full of wolves, and I am the alpha. "
I freeze. "You really think you can walk away from me?
" he asks. "That you have the power to choose?
I should have never given you that choice.
I should have done what I planned to do from the very beginning.
I should have just shot both of your legs and made you unable to walk away from me.
" He looks me dead in the eye. "Who told me to be good?
Who told me to wait for you to come willingly? "
His jaw tightens. "I should have just been the monster you always thought I was." I look at him hesitantly, finally understanding something is mentally wrong with him. He stares me dead in the eye and says, "Run."
He steps back and points to the hallway. "Run. If you make it to the gate, you are free. If I catch you before then, I will lock you in thus estate and you will never see the sunlight again."
I look at him in horror. "You are joking."
"Do I look like I am joking?" he asks, his face stone cold. "Run, my love. Before I decide to just break your legs right here." I rip the door open and sprint into the hallway, terrified knowing he’s counting down the seconds until he starts the hunt.