Chapter 25
Ieat lunch quickly, only staying long enough to get notes from AJ and scarf down a sandwich.
My meeting with the Chancellor has me in a weird mood, and I can’t quite pinpoint why.
She was direct, but she wasn’t rude, and her motives seemed kind enough.
Maybe it was her encouragement for me to stop trying to find out more about my dad that’s getting to me.
Deciding to head to my next class early since I don’t have time to do much else anyway, I take the long way around campus to get some exercise in.
It’s too soon for me to even consider walking on the forest trails after what happened last week.
I can’t help but wonder why Alaric wants my discovery to stay a secret, though.
Wouldn’t my mycology professor be the best person to ask about something as bizarre as this?
Alaric had insinuated that the mushroom discovery might be related to his super-secret research, and it only makes me more curious about what that might be.
I had previously assumed it would be related to the deadly plants he was cultivating in the locked room of the greenhouse, but how would mushrooms tie in to that? It doesn’t make sense.
As if my thoughts have conjured him, I catch sight of Alaric just ahead of me, sitting at one of the stone tables near the fountain.
Across from him is a woman I don’t recognize, and before I can think about what I’m doing, I pull up the hood of my jacket to hide my hair and maneuver to a bench that’s behind his line of sight and off to the side enough that it’s not evident that I’m watching them.
I pull a book from my bag and open it to a random page just in case I happen to get caught.
Then, I can pretend I was out here reading instead of… well, mildly stalking my professor.
When the woman turns her head enough that I can see her profile, I narrow my eyes and try to figure out why she looks so familiar.
She’s blonde, with her hair tied up, and she has a severe sort of beauty that’s striking and intimidating in equal measure.
It takes me a moment to put together the pieces; This must be the professor Max had been telling me about, Dr. Aldrich.
The Chancellor’s daughter, who’s not only beautiful but also successful and absolutely brilliant.
Jealousy flares in my chest, and I attempt to calm my emotions. Of course Alaric would spend some time with the other professors on campus. They’re colleagues, and it’s not like they can have entirely separate social lives considering we’re all isolated on an island together.
It’s probably just an unofficial meeting between professionals, I tell myself, but that’s hard to justify even to myself when she’s batting her eyelashes at him and hanging on his every word.
But it’s not like that’s a rarity, either; Most of the women on this campus would find him attractive, and while most of the students are too afraid of him to make a move, a professor wouldn’t be so hesitant to shoot her shot.
I’ve almost managed to reason myself out of my unwarranted jealousy when she laughs at something he says and places her hand atop his on the table. I can’t make out his expression from here, but he leans in slightly to say something and doesn’t pull his hand away.
What the fuck?
If I were in the same position as I was a few weeks ago, crushing on Alaric with no indication that he felt the same, I’d still be upset, but I’d also be aware that it was due to my own unrealistic desires.
However, that’s not the case, considering he kissed me.
Not only that, but he’s shown interest in me during every tutoring session over the last six weeks, progressively touching me more in ways that are usually unnecessary.
When Alaric twists his hand to hold hers rather than have them resting on each other, I swallow against the knot in my throat as tears burn in my eyes, and I know I can’t watch any longer.
I shove my book into my backpack and storm away, taking the long way around the buildings so that he doesn’t catch sight of me.
I feel so fucking stupid. Of course he wasn’t serious about me.
Why would I have expected anything different?
I’m a scholarship student who came from nothing and who can still barely keep a hold on her magic.
I’m not extraordinary by any means. Hell, I’m not even average in a place like this, and I certainly can’t compare to someone like her.
He’d never led me to believe that we were a couple, but the sense of betrayal still burns. I should’ve known I was nothing more than a silly little diversion to him.
The tightness in my chest twists and tugs throughout my evening study session, which I’m barely able to pay attention to.
I can’t afford to miss it, though. Nobody has asked me what’s going on despite my evidently sour mood, which I’m beyond grateful for.
Even if I wanted to talk about it with them, I couldn’t.
By the time six thirty rolls around, I’ve decided that I’m not going to meet Alaric for tutoring tonight.
It might be childish of me, but I don’t want to face him while the pain is still so fresh.
As soon as our studying session is over, I storm back to my dorm room, toss my backpack, and collapse on my bed face-down, ignoring Max’s curious stare from where she sits cross-legged on her bed.
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” I mutter.
“Liar. I can feel what you’re feeling, remember?”
“Ugh.” I roll over and stare at the ceiling, trying to figure out how to explain this to Max without giving away my secrets. “I’m having… guy troubles.”
“Men are the worst,” Max says matter-of-factly. “Who is it?”
“No one important.”
“Well, he must be important if you’re feeling this much.”
“I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Okay, fair enough. Aren’t you supposed to be at tutoring right now?”
“Yep. I’m skipping.”
“Why? It would probably help get your mind off things, or at least give you something pretty to look at to distract yourself,” she teases.
I groan and cover my face.
Max is silent for a few seconds, then says incredulously, “Oh my god, don’t tell me it’s Dr. Vale that you’re upset over.”
I sigh.
“But I thought he was dating Aldrich?”
My stomach knots. “I was not aware of this until about an hour ago, when I saw them together, so…”
“Well, shit. That really sucks. Were you guys fucking or what?” Her callous question, despite being entirely too intrusive, makes me laugh despite myself.
“No. We might have made out, though… But you can’t tell anyone. Seriously.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
Now that the floodgates have opened, I can’t stop the rest from pouring out.
“I just feel so stupid, you know? Like, we’ve had this tutoring session going on for a couple months now, and he’s intentionally touched me more times than I can count in ways that were fairly innocuous but definitely past the line of professional.
And he’s said some things to me that were definitely not appropriate for a normal student/teacher relationship.
I don’t know, maybe it was stupid of me to hope for something more. ”
Max shakes her head. “I don’t think it’s stupid. I’m sure he’s aware that basically everyone on this damn island thinks he’s hot, and he took advantage of that alongside his position of authority. Men, especially ones with egos, are manipulative bastards.”
“I don’t know. I don’t really think he intentionally manipulated me or led me on.
Like, I get what you’re saying, but I think he and I just had different understandings of what our connection meant.
It’s not like we agreed to be exclusive or even have a relationship.
We just kissed, and I let myself build things up in my head. ”
Max harrumphs, clearly not wanting to give Alaric the benefit of the doubt. “He still should’ve been straightforward with you.”
I shrug. Regardless of what happened between us, it’s not worth arguing about the how or why.
“Are you going to any parties this weekend?” Max asks when I don’t respond.
“No. I’ll probably stay in and study.” I haven’t attended any parties after the one I’d brought Max to due to a combination of academic stress, busyness, and the lingering embarrassment of how drunk I got last time (and how I subsequently made it Alaric’s problem).
“Okay. Well, you know I’ll be in all weekend too. Would you be interested in going down to the common room to play board games or something tonight?”
Her question takes me by surprise. Normally, she hates anything that involves being in the same room as others, and she definitely doesn’t propose social activities. “What’s the catch?” I ask.
“The catch is that my other option is dealing with your miserable ass cooped up in this room all weekend,” she fires back, but her tone holds no malice.
“Fair. Okay, we can do that,” I answer.
“Great.” She stands and brushes the wrinkles from her long black skirt. “I’ll be back in an hour or two.” With that, she leaves the room, and I take the opportunity to wallow in my sadness while I have the room to myself.
An hour and a half later, Max reappears, poking her head past the door. “Are you decent?”
“Yeah,” I call out from my bed. In the time she was gone, I let myself cry out my ridiculous emotions, then wiped off my smeared makeup and reapplied my mascara. I had also changed into more comfortable clothes, knowing we’d be hanging out in the dorm building for the rest of the evening.
To my surprise, Max isn’t alone as she enters the dorm room. Behind her, Callista sweeps in with two large tote bags over her shoulder, and I notice that Max is holding a smaller bag she hadn’t left with.
“What’s all this?” I ask, sitting up from my half-reclined position on the bed.
“We’re hanging out because I heard that you’re feeling down,” Callista says matter-of-factly as she plops down beside me on my bed. Then she adds in an excited, sing-song tone, “Wine and paint night.”
I raise my eyebrows at Max, and her expression stays neutral as she shrugs. “I know you tend to like all that sentimental junk, so here you go.”
I smile at her attempt to minimize the kind gesture, which I’m sure is uncomfortable for her considering how averse she is to socializing and showing affection. “Thank you. That’s very thoughtful of you.”
She shrugs again. “The other two will be showing up any minute, so let’s head downstairs.”
“The other two?”
Callista grabs my hand and pulls me to stand. “Yep! I invited Delilah, who you met at the suite party, and another friend of mine named Avery.”
I follow the two women downstairs, and Callista and I wait in the foyer for the other two to arrive while Max takes it upon herself to secure a table in the common room.
She must have either not mentioned my sour mood or explained that we shouldn’t discuss it, because nobody brings it up, which I appreciate.
The last thing I want to do is make up a lie about why I’m upset.
Delilah arrives first, and she looks genuinely happy to see both of us. She and I head to the common room while Callista hands me her bags and waits for the woman named Avery.
Despite the busy common room, Max has managed to find a spot at a table off to the side with five seats free, though I doubt it was empty when she came in. A few people cast sidelong glances at her, and I can only hope that she didn’t threaten them or do anything too severe to get people to move.
We settle in at the table, and my heart is already lighter just from the anticipation of having a girls’ night. Delilah and I pull items from Callista’s bags, setting up small canvases on stands and scattering the paint tubes, paintbrushes, and plastic palettes in the middle of the table.
Callista and Avery join us a couple minutes later.
Avery has medium-length blonde hair and is short and thin, though when she takes off her jacket and drapes it on the back of a chair, I notice her arms are corded with muscle.
She looks familiar, and I think it’s because I’ve seen her walking around on campus with Callista once or twice before.
We all introduce ourselves, and Max pours us all wine in glasses she grabbed from the fridge in the dorm kitchen.
Callista, the artist of the group, distributes the appropriate paintbrushes and asks if we’d rather have her lead us or if we’d like to do a free-for-all.
After much debate, we decide to have Callista lead us in painting a nature scene.
With the hum of conversation and the crackling of the fire in the hearth as background noise, we follow Callista’s lead as she instructs us on how to paint mountainous backgrounds and trees in the foreground.
Within half an hour, we’re all laughing at our lack of artistic skills compared to Callista’s, having a fun, carefree moment that feels like a budding friendship.
We chat about the upcoming Samhain ball, which I had received an invitation for in my mailbox a couple days ago, and when I state that I have nothing to wear, Callista offers me a dress, saying she has more than she knows what to do with and that if she writes to her mom, she can have it sent here within a week.
I graciously accept her offer, knowing I wouldn’t be able to afford buying a gown like that.
The night wears on with the wine flowing, and we’re cackling together by the end of the painting session, hardly able to catch our breath as we laugh at the terrible paintings that we’d gone rogue with toward the end of Callista’s instruction.
The five of us form an odd group, but somehow, it works.
Max, with her hesitant socialization, her intensity, and her unique gothic style.
Callista, with her bright disposition, popularity, and ability to bring people together.
Delilah, with her quiet intelligence and kindness.
Avery, with her fierce confidence.
And me, with my perpetual desire to feel like I truly belong. And tonight, for the first time, I feel like I do.