Chapter 24 Merde
MERDE
Dolericym, God of Song and Sorrow, grants the gift of feeling. Holder of the heart’s core, she receives scholars’ prayers for aid in understanding and calling forth raw emotion.
You know, I almost got married in this one,” Claudia says as Alistair laces the satin ribbons of her corset while they stand in the center of her room.
She’s bracing herself against Bishop’s enclosure.
Her curly hair is pinned up into a loose but sophisticated bun, pearls scattered like stars.
If anyone looked closely, they would be able to see the constellation of Cassiopeia: beauty, lust, and, fittingly, punishment.
Alistair is wearing a burgundy button-down shirt with a fitted velvet jacket. His coattails stop just before the bend of his knee, and his trousers are nothing special until they catch the light and the golden thread glitters.
“What? You were in love?” He finishes lacing the corset and moves on to pulling it tight.
A corset-choked laugh explodes from her mouth. “Gods, no. It was arranged. He was a ghastly old man who promised to pay off my father’s debt if he could have my hand in marriage.”
Claudia turns to see Alistair scowl and shiver. “That’s disgusting. How did you get out of it?”
He twists a few of her curls around her face. At the same time, she straightens his silk tie and pulls any and every speck of lint from his waistcoat.
“I came here.” She gestures to the room with a soft shrug.
“I see.” His lips curl under like he’s trying to stop himself from saying something.
“What is it?” Claudia asks, smoothing out his shawl lapels. “You look sort of…”
“Handsome?” He smiles, lifting his jaw to cut through the light.
“Of course, but I was going to say curious. You’re making your curious face.”
“I do not have a curious face.”
“You certainly do. You suck in your lips and look up through your lashes. It’s like you’re trying to put your question into someone’s mind using only your eyes.”
He looks dumbfounded, stepping out of her reach and regarding himself in the floor-length oval mirror. Over his shoulder, he says, “You’re getting to know me too well.”
She smiles when she leans close to the mirror to apply rouge to her lips and cheeks. She’s very nearly happy with her appearance, but something is missing. She rifles through her vanity in search of something to complete her look.
The pair are silent for a minute or so when Alistair asks, “Claudia, can I ask you about something sensitive?”
She turns to face him as her heart stutters. He never uses her full name anymore. They’re Claud and Alis, or Star Girl and Bones. This must be serious. “Of course.”
“Your arrival…” he says, trailing off.
She swallows. “The blood,” she says knowingly.
He nods. “Whose was it?” His voice is soft and cautious, like part of him hopes she doesn’t hear him.
Claudia clears her throat. “It was my father’s.
We were fighting.” She closes her eyes tightly, as if waiting for the wet slap of blood to hit her all over again.
There’s a part of her that wants to tell him the whole truth, but she can’t.
Guilt grabs hold of her tongue and changes the story.
“He tried to attack me, but he fell into the Doorway.”
She opens her eyes and looks over her shoulder to gauge his reaction, but his face is completely flat and unreadable. Her eyes turn glassy. “He was going to force me into that marriage.”
Alistair is quiet for a long time. Claudia silently prays for understanding, for empathy. For anything that will keep him in her life.
Finally, he sighs and says, “Then I’m glad he’s dead.”
He smiles and doesn’t ask any further questions. His attention falls to Bishop and the new enclosure.
Relief washes over her as she takes in her reflection. She thinks about her father’s death and tests the feeling of forgiving herself, but it still feels too far away. For now, the closest she can give herself is grace.
“Me, too.”
Three minutes before Cassius will arrive at her door, Claudia paces around nervously, skirting Bishop’s enclosure. He looks at her with concern.
“How do I look, Bishop?” She gestures to her dress. “We’re matching with all this white, aren’t we?”
Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she’s confident she’s met—no, exceeded—Cassius’s demands.
Her dress is white as winter, her hair twirled up but still wild.
She’s tied everything together with her mother’s emerald necklace, the pendant glittering like a wet eye at the base of her throat.
At the sound of a rhythmic knock at the door, she lets out a shaky breath and twists the knob.
There he is.
Candlelight licks the edges of his body, leaving a golden halo around his blue silk jacket.
His billowing white shirt is cut into a deep V, tucked loosely into his tight black trousers.
An obsidian pendant adorns his bare chest, ending in a sharp point that directs Claudia’s gaze down to his sculpted torso.
He’s… fuck, he’s divine. Here, wrapped in warmth, radiating dominance and control, he looks every bit of the god his ancestor was meant to become.
“Hi,” she says.
He grins, eyes dark and hungry as they roam over her body. “Turn for me.”
She spins slowly, tossing coy smiles over her shoulder before centering herself in front of him. “What do you think?”
The tension in his jaw comes undone. He does nothing to fight his warm, proud smile. “You look perfect.”
The weight and heat of his gaze are too much. She looks down, tucking one rogue curl behind her ear. “Thank you. So do you.”
He puts one hand on the curve of her waist. “Good. We’ll make a perfect pair.” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small white box tied up with a red ribbon. “I brought a gift.”
Her lips part in genuine surprise. She smiles, unsure of what to say when she takes the gift.
Her relationship with Cassius is developing at a startling pace.
Weeks ago, she was slapping him across the face in front of their entire class, and now she’s trembling before him, unwrapping a gift from her ultimate rival.
When she lifts the lid, she sees a fat, dead mouse. It smells old.
“Oh,” she says, shuddering.
“For Bishop,” he clarifies. “Alistair said I should bring him an offering.”
“Oh!” She laughs, nodding in understanding.
“Oh, that’s so kind of you.” She rushes over to her snake’s luxurious enclosure and drops the dead mouse in the corner.
It takes only a second for Bishop to slither out of his hiding spot and dart over to the meal, eagerly fitting it into his jaws.
As Claudia lids the enclosure, she looks back at her date.
“Someone left this enclosure in my room while I was gone.”
He saunters toward her. “Did they, now?”
Nodding, she says, “At first I thought it had been Alistair, but I was proven wrong. I’ve been racking my brain for who could’ve done it, and then it occurred to me that the High Sage’s apprentice might have access to every key to every lock in this school, including the one for my room.”
“That’s a compelling case you make. How can you be so sure it was him?”
“Well, I’m not sure just yet. He and I have a very complicated relationship.” She looks him up and down. How is he so beautiful? Is he even human? “If you’d asked me a few weeks ago if I ever thought he would do anything for me, I would’ve laughed in your face.”
He’s now towering over her, their toes touching. She almost wants to lick him.
“What changed?” he asks.
She bites her lip, looking deep into his eyes. “I’m hoping he’ll tell me.”
He feigns pondering, then smirks. “If I had to guess, he might’ve been watching you from afar for quite some time, and though he was wary of your strange arrival, he came to respect you as a clever, worthy opponent.
And then, I believe you came to his room to best him with the art of luxos.
Little did you know how much he’d dreamed of that moment.
How many nights he had lain awake, imagining you at his side with your pretty mouth begging in his ear.
” He brushes his hand across her cheek. “And then, when that dream became a reality, something changed within him, and he realized how cruel he had been, and how much of his cruelty was a feeble attempt at denying what he really felt.”
“What did he really feel?”
He grabs her hand and presses a kiss to her fingers. “Desire.”
Her knees nearly give out beneath her. She braces herself against his hard form.
“But as I said, it’s only a guess.” He shrugs with a sardonic smile.
“It’s a very thoughtful guess.”
His expression turns soft and sincere when he says, “Do you like it? The enclosure, I mean. Is it everything you need?”
She nods. “Why did you do it, really?”
He reaches for her hand, gently running his thumb across her knuckles. “Because Marcherie came to the High Sage’s office to report him yesterday, and I didn’t want you to lose him, so I took care of it.”
She stares at their intertwined fingers. “Thank you.”
She can’t put into words how long she has yearned for this—for someone to care about her. For someone to take up the responsibility of her well-being. For someone to protect her.
“What else would you do to protect me?” she asks.
He gives her a curious smile, offering his arm. “Let’s hope your courtship with death is over so we never have to find out.”
The corridors of Cygnus are much colder without her robes. While they walk, Claudia finds herself leaning into Cassius’s side to keep warm.
He lets her. He likes it. She can tell by the way his eyes dip down to hers every time her body is pressed to his.
Hundreds of students are rushing in the same direction, all wearing fabulous outfits that they never get to wear otherwise. The women wear vibrant gowns and opera gloves, while the men wear tailored suits and smart hats.