Chapter 44 Daydream, Nightmare
DAYDREAM, NIGHTMARE
Sidarphion grants the gift of fate. Knower of all that will be, he hears the prayers of scholars asking for insights on destiny and prophecy.
Frothy sunlight cuts through the pale, misty sky. The six of them, battered and bruised, walk back inside the manor.
Marcherie’s neck is broken, her vocal cords shredded possibly beyond repair.
Odette’s neck wounds are similar—all from Claudia.
Angel has some cuts and bruises, and his breathing has yet to steady since he retrieved Marcherie’s unconscious body from the lake.
Alistair has bits of glass buried in his palms from holding on to spells too hard.
Cassius is alive, but unaware. He’s in a quiet daze, his face twisted in pained confusion. It’s like he doesn’t know where he is.
Claudia is too angry to know where she’s wounded. She cannot feel anything but rage.
Once inside, Alistair lays Cassius down on the sofa. Angel helps get the glass out of his hand, and then Alistair sets up shop in the kitchen, brewing every healing elixir he can manage and spending the next few hours acting as their physician.
Claudia won’t leave Cassius’s side. His eyes keep closing, fluttering, like he’s dreaming. Odette walks into the room as Claudia is running her fingers through Cassius’s hair.
She glares up at Odette, doing nothing to mask her hatred.
“I am truly sorry, Claudia,” Odette says. “But it was him or March, and—”
“Stop.”
Her breath hitches, but she straightens up and confidently states, “I knew I wasn’t killing him forever. I knew Sidarphion would be able to bring him back.”
“Yes,” Claudia hisses, gesturing to the wet bite on her neck, “but look at the cost.”
Odette charges toward the couch and kneels before Claudia and Cassius. Her eyes are wet and pleading as she reaches for Claudia’s hand. “I thought it would be me. I truly believed with everything in my being that he would take me.”
A hot, angry breath slices through Claudia’s teeth. “You were wrong. At every turn, you were wrong.”
Head resting in Claudia’s lap, Cassius awakens with a gasp. He springs upward and takes Claudia’s face in his hands. “What happened?”
Hearing his voice softens her heart. She kisses him gently, savoring the fact that he’s here.
And for now, she’s with him.
She’ll be with him until the sun dips low.
She pulls back, and her eyes swing to Odette, who remains on her knees. “You tell him,” Claudia demands. “Tell him everything you’ve done. Tell him what will happen next.”
Alistair is the hero of the evening. He cooks a massive meal for the entire group while Angel sets the table with an expert’s eye.
The dining room walls are red damask, and the table is thick oak covered with a white lace tablecloth.
White flowers and candles decorate the room.
Bishop gets his own seat at the table with a feast of dead bugs.
Platters of steaming vegetables and juicy meats line the center.
Though, after the day they’ve had, everyone is more grateful for the wine than the food.
They all drink whole glasses in single gulps.
They go through entire bottles at a staggering pace.
Six bottles in, the world starts to feel a bit better. Lighter.
They’re all here. They’re all together. They’re all alive.
Maybe that’s enough. Maybe that’s all they ever could’ve hoped for.
Cassius stands from his seat and raises a silver chalice. “To us.”
Claudia stands beside him. “To dreams.”
“To tragedies,” Odette says weakly.
Alistair raises his glass next. “To life.”
Angel follows with, “To love.”
Marcherie raises her glass, but she can’t speak.
Alistair isn’t sure if she ever will again. Her voice might very well be gone forever.
But still, she looks at Odette and smiles. She looks happier than ever.
Cassius and Claudia spend the next hour in his room, in his bed, pretending that the sun will never set. Pretending they have more time than they do.
Pretending Claudia won’t have to leave the moment the world grows dark.
“It’s worth it,” she says, her head resting on his naked chest. “You’re worth it. You’re everything.”
“You shouldn’t have to make such a sacrifice.” His heart quickens against her cheek. “You shouldn’t be tethered to that horrible beast, nor should you be forced into that world of darkness.”
“It doesn’t scare me.” She sits up, looking into his eyes.
“Nothing will ever scare me as much as the thought of losing you. Seeing you there… all the blood…” Her breathing speeds up.
She squeezes her eyes shut and shakes her head.
“It almost killed me. It’s the worst feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I don’t even know how to describe it, Cas.
” Her breathing quickens even more. “It was like my heart died inside me.”
“Hey,” he whispers, pulling her close. “Shh, shh, shh. I’m here. I’m alive. We both are.”
She calms down as he strokes her hair. “I know. And that’s all I care about. So, don’t worry about me. I can handle any nightmares so long as I wake up from them next to you.”
He threads his fingers in her hair and brings his lips to hers.
Their kiss is soft and slow. Intentional and focused, as if they’re both trying to commit this moment to memory before it’s ripped away.
Her love for him doubles, triples, becomes all-consuming.
She kisses him as hard as she can. Pressing her body to his, she craves an impossible closeness. Bone to bone would not be close enough.
“I love you, Claudia,” he whispers into her mouth. “I’m going to find a way to free you from his bargain. I promise.”
“I don’t need to be free.” She deepens their kiss and slides her tongue over his before pulling back. “I just need to be yours.”
“You are mine. Forever. No matter where you go.” He clenches his jaw. “I just don’t want you to go there.”
“I know. But I don’t want you to die.” She brushes his hair out of his eyes and strokes his cheek with her thumb. “You have to let me go, and you have to know that I will always, always return to you. He cannot have me, and he cannot keep me away.”
Wrapped in each other’s embrace, they stare out the window as the sun settles into the horizon. Darkness spreads over the world, and Claudia closes her eyes, falling fast into a deep, shadowy sleep.
This is not the Realm of Nightmares that Claudia knows.
This is what it was always meant to look like. This is the realm now that Sidarphion is free.
It is not a never-ending winter. There are no howls on the wind, no monsters at her back, no beasts chasing her down. The sky above is a swirling mosaic of rich navy blue and vivid violet.
It’s painterly. It’s gorgeous.
And it’s warm. So deliciously warm.
She’s no longer wearing a thin white slip like she usually is when she falls into a nightmare.
She’s wearing a black evening gown with long lace sleeves and a tight corset ribboning down her back.
There are slits in her skirt that stretch all the way up to her hip bones.
Her legs show with every step while she walks through the glittering world.
Her hair is down, left wild and untamed just how she likes.
Her mother’s emerald pendant is around her neck.
Moonlight hugs the trees and haloes an onyx cathedral growing in the distance.
It looks like Cygnus, only darker. Stranger.
Better.
The ground is smooth beneath her feet. There is no snow anymore—only fields of white flowers that look like fallen stars. Instinct pulls her forward, toward the shining cathedral. Twin turrets crown the top, each holding arched windows with candles pulsing behind the glass.
He’s in there. She can feel him.
At the bottom of the stairs leading up to the entrance, Claudia takes a deep breath. Her steps are shaky as she ascends. When she reaches the top, she stands between two dragon gargoyles. The massive arched wooden door opens for her as if it senses her presence.
Slowly, she walks inside. Her heart throbs. Her hands tremble.
A long red rug lines the entryway, and a crystal chandelier hangs above her head. Along the walls, there are ornate silver sconces, each holding lit black candles that warm the entire room. Following the path before her, she walks into what can only be described as a throne room.
Upon a dais at the back, there he is.
Sidarphion.
He sits on an obsidian throne, wearing a dark crown of night, his wings stretched wide behind him.
Now she sees the truth of him—he is a god. A ruler. The most powerful being she’s ever seen. Powerful enough to hold Cassius’s life in his hands and use it as a weapon to keep Claudia under his control.
She’s never hated him more.
Beside him is an empty throne. He gestures to it with an open palm.
Her hands ball into fists at her side. “I just have to know why.” Before she takes another step forward, she says, “You once said that if I set you free, you would tell me why you killed Dracoemagyl and cursed his line. You owe me that.”
He stiffens, then nods. “And I will keep my word.” He stands, pacing the dais.
“As you know, each god has different gifts. Orteslux has faith. Malevimus has truth. Caedisterra, chance. Dolericym, feeling. My gift is fate.” Slowly descending the stairs, he continues, “During our ascension, I saw all of fate unfold before me. Every soul’s eventuality.
When I saw Dracoemagyl’s fate, I wanted it for myself, but the only way to get it was to stop Dracoemagyl’s ascension and ensure none of his ancestors could take his place.
I cut him down, I cursed his line, and I fought for the fate I wanted. ”
“What was it?”
In a blink, he’s standing before her, his claw hooked beneath her chin. “You.”
She gasps. Her pulse surges and her body shakes.
The origin and the end—that’s what Malevimus said. Now she truly understands what he meant. She is the reason for everything; every dream and every tragedy points back to her.
“I am not yours,” she growls. “I belong to Cassius.”
“A man cannot offer that of a god,” he says, stroking her cheek.
“You’re no god. You’re a devil and you always have been.”
He smiles. “That is why I won.”