Chapter 23 A BROTHER’S ENVY
Chapter 23
A B ROTHER ’ S E NVY
Winchester, England
July 2, 1881
“How does it look?” Miles stepped back to see his handiwork. He’d carved their initials in the tree that grew where they’d taken the photograph.
Lillian slipped her fingers into his and whispered, “Our spot forever.”
He’d graduated the day before and now felt freer than he ever had in his life. Without even asking his parents, he’d woken up this morning and made the ride into town to find Lillian. She’d only moments before confirmed that she was ready to go with him to London, so he would return home tonight to pack his belongings and tell his family at breakfast in the morning.
“Can you reach the inn by noon tomorrow?” she asked. “My parents want to host us for lunch, a sort of goodbye and celebration.”
“How wonderfully kind of them. And they’re not bothered that we’re leaving without being married?”
She considered her answer. “They know it will come in due time.”
“Indeed, it will.” Miles was in awe of the support her family gave her. “Sounds like a far more positive response than what I expect from mine tomorrow.”
“There were a few tears,” she said. “But I’ve been working them up to it, giving them clues. They know how I feel about you, and they know that I must get out of Winchester.”
“And we can return any time you like to visit. I’ll need to come back to ask your father for your hand in marriage soon anyway.”
A smile sprouted on her face like one of the wildflowers growing around them. “He would expect nothing less.”
Miles nodded. “I’ll have our driver bring me by carriage. We’ll usher off to the train station from there.” Even saying it felt liberating. “I’m still in shock that we’re making it happen.”
“As am I.”
He breathed in her scent, the flowery essence of her, and tasted the sweetness of her lips. She gently raked her nails across his cheek. Shivers shot up from his toes and cascaded up his legs and across his body. As long as she was close to him, he could do anything in this world.
“Where will we sleep tomorrow night?” she asked, her face lingering close to his.
“I feel confident we’ll find a place, perhaps a hotel near the West End. My granny has lent me some money that we’ll put to good use. A fine dinner, hopefully a visit to the theater, and a good night’s sleep. The following morning, after waking up next to you, I will find a job and secure acting classes.”
“Both in the same day?”
“Why not? And what will your first day be like?”
Excitement leaped from her eyes. “Oh, I can barely stand the idea. All the tall buildings, the people rushing about. The restaurants, the theater. I can’t believe it’s happening either. I’ll find work, as well. Something I like.”
He touched her cheek. “Don’t worry, we’ll find a nice place to stay. I won’t have my bride living in squalor.”
“I like the sound of being your bride.” Her joy was nearly tangible, as if it occupied a cloud above her head. “And I have faith that we will find our way.”
“God willing,” Miles said.
He pulled her in and ran his hands up and down her body as she kissed his neck and cheek and ear, sending a fresh round of shivers that made it hard for him to stand.
“We should go swimming,” he suggested with choppy breath, their lips a blade of grass apart.
“Swimming?” Lillian replied, pushing back enough to find his eyes. “In my dress?”
Miles shook his head. “You don’t need your dress to swim, do you?”
“You shameful boy.”
“Boy?”
She nestled her cheek to his and whispered into his ear, “You’d rather me call you a man?”
Her breath made him tingle and sent him floating. “I’m eighteen. And I’ve found my wife. What more makes a man?”
“You sure you’ve found your wife?”
Miles moved his head back to look into her eyes again. Was she doubting him? “It’s the one thing I am sure of, Lillian.”
“And I as well.”
He cracked a grin. “You’ve found your wife? Who is she? Do I need to worry?”
Lillian playfully hit him on the chest and let him enjoy his retort. She stepped back and said, “Let me look at you.” She lowered her gaze to his boots and raised it up along his trousers and shirt all the way to his forehead.
He stood there, slightly shy and exposed, but still warm and comfortable, too, the way only she made him feel.
She steadied herself with her hands against his chest. “I’ve certainly found my husband.”
All the love in the world passed through him, and he found the courage for Shakespeare. “Not did I wonder at the lily’s white, nor praise the deep vermilion in the rose; they were but sweet, but figures of delight drawn after you ...”
Her expression bloomed with delight. She kissed him again and moved her hands to his shirt buttons, undoing the top one. His shirt gave way as he closed his eyes. Pleasure like he’d never known before roared through him. It was a sense of being utterly vulnerable yet comfortable, feelings he never could have imagined before he’d met her: a desperate taste for her, a need to nearly consume her.
“I want more,” she said.
His cheeks swelled. “Fine.” He drew in a breath, attempting to keep the swarm of bees in his chest at bay. “Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs; Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes; Being vexed, a sea nourished with loving tears. What is it else? A madness most discreet, A choking gall, and a preserving sweet.”
She seemed to bathe in his words as though they were hot springs. She was indeed his Juliet.
Another button, and then another. The breeze came off the river and blew against his bare chest as she pulled off his shirt and placed a soft kiss on his collarbone. Then another, lower down. A sense of urgency washed over him, and he tried to go for her dress, but she wouldn’t let him.
“No, no,” she said. “It’s my turn. I want to see all of my future husband.”
She pulled at the laces of his boots, and he aided her in kicking them off. As he stood there barefooted, she rose and placed her hands on his trousers, unclasped his suspenders. His heart throbbed like his stallion at a full gallop. She held his gaze and pulled the belt free from its straps. Miles barely blinked as he lost himself in the moment, in her eyes and in her touch. He could see that any part of her that had once been hesitant was now gone, and she was always and forever his. He could have cried he was so full of life and joy.
Setting him free, she lowered his pants ever so slowly and guided them off his legs and ankles. Rising, she stepped back again and looked at what she’d done, at Miles in all his glory. He might have felt embarrassed had he not seen a craving for him swimming in her own eyes.
“Yes,” she whispered, stepping again toward him. “You are no doubt a man. The most man I’ve ever known.”
With that she touched him in places where he’d never been touched, and he had to work hard to control himself, to pace himself.
“And when is it my turn?” he asked in a moaning mutter, the words spilling out of his mouth in a desperate plea to remove her dress. Never in his life had he wanted anything more than to see her nude.
Lillian whispered into his ear, “I am all yours.”
Naked and eager, he tugged at the belt that wrapped around her waist, and he reached for the bottom of her dress. He’d never undress her for the first time again in his life, and he wanted to treasure this moment with all of him. As she raised her arms to aid him, their eyes locked. Miles imagined the water of the river rising, the grass in the meadow standing taller, the clouds parting. He began to lift the dress over her head, a tad bit at a time, his breath escaping him and then rushing back in as he gasped for it.
He set the dress to the side and looked at the beauty that was the love of his life. She stood there confident and gorgeous in her cotton undergarments. Her legs, oh, her legs, they’d been shaped by God’s sculptor, so feminine and smooth and tempting. Her décolletage made his mouth wet. He removed her undergarments and pulled her into him. They fit together like two bodies never had before.
“Shall we go swimming?” she asked.
Butterflies filled his stomach. “I had other things in mind now, but ...”
“We have time,” she said, taking his hand. She guided him into the water, and he studied her silky bare back, wanting her more than he’d wanted anything in his life. They slowly slipped into the water, the chill of it taking their breath away. He pulsed with a nearly uncontrollable craving and held her tight in the cold water.
“Is it too much for you?” she asked, as if she swam in this river every day.
“Cold? Holding you, I’ll turn this water to boiling.”
She kissed him again, more passionately this time, her tongue sweeping into his mouth and finding his, while wrapping her legs around his waist. He stood there with his feet in the soft grass under the water and felt the river rush by them, wrapping around them like her legs.
“I could stay here for the rest of my life,” he said.
As her lips parted in reply, something caught her eye, and she shouted, “Who goes there?” Miles thought she might be attempting to be funny, but she let go of him and said again, “Who goes there?”
He turned his head to find his brother standing under the shade of a tree with a wry smile on his face. Miles’s hands tightened to fists, and rage collected in his cheeks.
“What a show you put on!” Edward called out.
“Bugger off,” Miles said.
Edward seemed not to shy away at all as he put his eyes on Lillian, who’d wrapped her arms around her breasts.
“What are you doing here?” Miles thrust his finger in the direction of town. “You need to go.”
Edward didn’t move, only kept his eyes on Lillian. “I might wait until you get out so that I can enjoy one more look.”
All the energy that Miles had directed toward Lillian at once turned to fury as he scurried out of the water.
“Who is it?” Lillian called desperately, clearly full of fear.
“My brother.” Miles cared not at all that he was unclothed. Dripping wet, he pulled himself up to the shore and rushed after Edward, who turned and started running.
“How dare you disrespect me!” Miles shouted. Briars and branches cut the skin of his bare feet, but he did not let it slow him down.
His brother, however, stayed ahead of him.
As Miles’s head cleared from the anger, and he started to lose his breath, he realized that his brother was now in on a secret far more dangerous than carnal knowledge.
“Edward!” he shouted. “I must be the one to tell Father!”
His brother let out a cackle, stopping only long enough to say, “You know what Mother says about secrets.”
Miles chased his brother until the houses near the river came into view. He stopped and yelled one last time, “Edward!”
He was seething as he returned to Lillian. She’d climbed out of the water and slipped back into her dress. Her hair and dress were wet, her face heavy with concern.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, panting as he located his own clothes.
“He’s sick,” she said.
“Unquestionably so.” Miles pulled on his undergarments, then his trousers. “I fear that he’ll tell my father immediately.”
“How did he find us?”
Miles began to button his shirt. “He must have followed me.” The idea of someone breaching their intimate moment was unforgivable. It might be best that he hadn’t caught Edward, as he damn well might have killed him.
Miles went to her once he was dressed and took her hand. “I’m so sorry.”
“You’ve nothing to do with it.”
He saw the love swimming in her eyes, but it wasn’t enough to quell his anger. “I couldn’t hate my brother any more than I do. I loathe that I share their blood.”
“Don’t worry, my love. We’ll be gone soon enough.”
He let go of her hand and looked west through the trees. “I think I should go now, to break the news to my parents.”
“Are you sure?”
“Best to get it over with. Depending on how they take it, I may have to stay over at my granny’s tonight.”
“I want to go with you,” she said.
“To Elmhurst?”
“If we are to marry, then they must meet me. Even if they don’t approve, they should know who I am.”
She was right.
“And perhaps they will tone down their reaction in my presence,” she added.
“I would not count on it. But yes, let us go together. You have a horse available?”
“I’ll need only a few minutes to saddle her. I do wonder if you can keep up with me, though.”
He let out a welcome smile. “Let us find out.”