Chapter Twenty-Five
Antonio
Just once, Antonio would have liked to attend a Council meeting that didn’t involve sitting on a tree stump.
What was wrong with actual chairs? And, say, walls. A roof if he was getting really ambitious.
Right. And as long as he was daydreaming, maybe take Declan for a midnight drive, after. They could even sleep in the same bed, mess around a bit.
Not likely. Turned out it was hard to get it up when you could feel the low thrum of your boyfriend’s misery every minute of every day.
“I understand there is to be a celebration?” Teth asked, in that avalanche voice of theirs.
“Huh?” Antonio dragged his gaze away from Declan to look up (and up) at the enormous haljita.
Always funny to see little Wyte next to them, rolling his eyes and as impatient as Antonio to be anywhere but the Council glade.
At least he had that. Wyte’s easy laughter.
Teth’s deliberate kindness. And Declan, always Declan, the ferocity of his love even as the rest of their world went to shit.
Sometimes, it felt like that was all that kept him sane.
Declan loved him. Even if they barely saw each other.
Didn’t sleep in the same bed or the same fucking world more often than not.
They loved each other. Had each other’s backs.
The rest couldn’t matter.
“We received an invitation from Hyacinth,” Teth explained.
Right. That. Hyacinth and his connections. Antonio didn’t hold out a lot of hope, but he was looking forward to a party that Declan seemed confident wouldn’t suck, and the chance to get to know the sidhe a little better.
Declan liked him, after all.
“Yeah,” he said. “All the worst seelie are supposed to be there.”
Across the room, Declan was in low conversation with Ryka, the phoenix, who kept a carefully calculated distance between them, backing up if Declan stepped forward. Antonio set his jaw hard enough to make it ache.
It ached a lot these days.
“In that case, we will certainly have to be in attendance. Wyte tells me that my reputation requires a bit of sullying.”
“Pretty sure he didn’t put it that way.”
A flicker of irritation, through the bond. Antonio gritted his teeth that much harder. It didn’t help. The fucking phoenix was pouting.
“I’ll not be offended if you go to him,” Teth said, inclining their head toward Declan.
“I’ll only make it worse.”
Declan was good at this. And Antonio did his best to give him the space to be good at it, to not disgust or upset the fae like Ryka, whose lips curled as soon as he drew near.
“Perhaps some point to be won will be lost. But you will be happier for it. As will he.”
They were trying to do something. Change a whole damned world. Points mattered. Or they would, if they added up to anything. Somehow, at the end of every meeting, they ended up back in the negative, no matter how Declan smiled or how shut Antonio kept his mouth.
“Don’t know who gave you the impression we did this to be happy.” But Antonio got to his feet as he said it because Declan’d pulled in his wings. “Think I’ll go cause a little trouble, though.”
What else was he good for, after all?
“You absolute asshole,” Antonio said, words rough with anger he’d not yet burned through. “Jesus Christ, man. You taught me better.”
Reece’s grave said nothing. It sat, a simple gray stone set into fresh sod. The few flowers were already fading. A piss poor display, no better for the addition of the six pack and cigarettes that Antonio’d set in the grass.
Even with Declan off at another Council party, Antonio had half expected Reece to answer back.
But the cemetery stayed silent. Well, silent except for Antonio, talking to himself.
If it were anywhere but a cemetery, it’d be a quick way to give people the wrong idea. And still, what else could he do?
“I was there,” he said, head down and throat tight. He’d already done his crying. He wasn’t going to do it again. “I saw it. Fuck, Reece, I’m sorry. I shoulda been there. Someone shoulda been there.”
Antonio stood for a few minutes more, waiting for a sense of peace or closure.
Something. Instead, his mind started to wander.
They’d got shit done at the Council meeting, and there was another in the morning.
Voids and fucking starshine, he hated it.
And now he was thinking about it when he was supposed to be thinking about Reece.
Time to go.
“Look, man, thanks. Never taught me anything I should’ve known.
But you treated me real, you know?” And for a beat, Antonio waited, like maybe Reece would answer.
“I’m doing … fine. Got someone now. Better than I deserve, but I’m trying.
You, uh, might meet him, someday. Weird as that sounds.
Until then, I don’t know. I hope they got cars, wherever you are.
Hope the roads are open, and you can just drive and drive and drive. ”
Antonio turned away, ignoring the burn of his eyes. The cemetery was a small one, all trees and little winding paths. Bo still stood just inside the gate. Talia seemed to have wandered off. When you could go anywhere at any time, maybe it was hard to stay put.
“Thanks,” he said, as he drew close to Bo. “Appreciate you waiting.”
“Happy to,” Bo said, with a crooked half smile. “Talia should be back soon. She wanted to check the trees to see if there were any wolves that’d try to lead her off the path or something. It go okay? Stupid fucking question, probably.”
Grief was awkward. No way around that. Would’ve been awkward with anyone except maybe Declan. Bo, well, he was pretty much the only human left that Antonio could actually talk to honestly.
Except, he couldn’t.
“Well, he didn’t reach through the dirt and grab my ankle. Willing to call that a win.” Antonio glanced over his shoulder, frowning back toward Reece’s grave. “Shouldn’t joke. I’m betting I’ve met someone who could make that happen.”
He’d stick with Declan. Better ghosts than the walking dead.
“Fuck, I hope not. Like, ghosts are one thing. But fingers fucking crossed there’s not a fae who can pull off the whole 80’s horror flick vibe. Not that I’ve met a ton.”
“You and Everil don’t spend much time in Faerie, huh?”
Antonio rested his back against the wrought iron fence, and Bo did the same. Both of them watching the graveyard.
“Some? We’ve got House shit to take care of, and Talia can’t spend all her time here without risking some squirrely bullshit going on, like with changelings.
Not that anyone can tell me what the fuck that is.
” Bo shrugged, his head tipping back against the metal.
“But I’ve got work here, and a little bit of family left.
I think you’ve been there more the last couple months than me the last year.
How’re you holding up with the sparkly parties and Council fuckery? ”
Antonio turned to look at Bo, one shoulder still against the fence.
The guy seemed incapable of just letting things lie.
He thought of Reece. Couldn’t help but think of Reece.
The man’d been the opposite of nosy. Never wanted to know much about Antonio except how fast he could work.
And Antonio’d been just as willing to leave Reece’s life unexplored.
They’d talked about cars and Reece had talked about girls, and that’d been the whole of it.
He regretted it now. All the shit they’d never shared.
“Declan does most of the parties. I’ve got work here, too.
” His hand went for the chain on his wrist, worrying over the links.
“Council’s like you’d expect. There’s a few that’ve started calling me ‘the human’ instead of just ‘it’ or ‘the sluagh’s pet.
’ Fuckers have a knack for knowing when Declan can’t hear them. ”
“Fucking assholes.” Bo scowled, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“Mostly, they’re terrified of him. Gotten worse since Nimai, I think.”
“I don’t fucking doubt it. Having Nimai on the committee probably didn’t help either. Fuck those guys. The fuck are they scared of? Ever says he doesn’t like to do the whole rot thing since it screws up his clothes.”
“Being brutally killed, probably. Doesn’t matter what he will do, just what they know he’s capable of. People are like that.”
“I just figure so long as I don’t try to get you kidnapped or treat Ever like Nimai did, Declan’s not going to come for me. Dude gave me the shovel talk day one.”
“Yeah, but you’ve got sense. To them, we’re just rabid dogs off our chains.”
“That’s seriously fucked.”
“Yeah.” He couldn’t help it, the anger in his voice. “I hate it. The way they act around him. Do what I can, but that amounts to jack shit.”
“Can’t think of much a human could do, outside of telling them all to go fuck themselves. Which, if you haven’t, you’ve got a better hold on your tongue than I fucking do.”
“Holding my tongue’s about all I can offer. He builds the bridges and I shut the fuck up.” It all came out flat. The whole world felt flat, these days. “You can tell Everil not to worry. Me and Declan, we’re fine. I’m not gonna run off and break his buddy’s heart.”
Even if he hardly saw Declan, most days.
“If Ever thought you were going to dump him, he’d probably invite Declan over to politely poke at him.
” Bo gave a one-armed, jerky shrug. “You don’t want me to tell him things, I won’t.
Except like, ‘don’t worry, he’s not about to take on the Monarchs.
’ I’m just asking after a friend. It sounds pretty fucking miserable. I’m concerned.”
The silence stretched, broken only by the sound of Antonio’s fingers against iron. He looked past Bo, watching nothing.
It got to him sometimes, the way Bo acted. Like Everil had never threatened to rip Antonio’s throat out while he stood idly by, watching. And all that because Antonio had been ‘concerned.’