Chapter 7
Seven
Lily
“Bye, Mom.” Cali gave me a kiss and ran into daycare. Her friends were already inside. I was on the stoop with the baby carrier.
My stomach was in my throat. Eliot had called the courthouse. Just our luck, we could get a marriage license and get married on the same day. The justice of the peace was in the office and could fit us in.
How romantic.
I passed off Kellan. Eliot said he’d shower and get ready while I did the daycare run. I’d been wanting to hurl all morning. I had put on my jeans and a scrub top like I was going to work in case Cali questioned my clothing. I hadn’t talked to her yet. What would I say?
Hey, can you pretend Eliot and I are married but also know that he’s not your dad? I couldn’t get her hopes up. She adored Eliot and his entire family. If she thought she was a Knight like them? She’d be elated.
Oh god. I’d have to change my name. I’d just reclaimed Duke. But to be believable, I’d have to become Lily Knight. The kids’ names wouldn’t have to change. Dad and Linda would have to understand.
Wanda smiled at me like she was wondering why I was still standing in her doorway and not rushing off. I forced a smile I hoped looked normal. “Thanks, Wanda.”
She stepped back to shut the door. “Have a good day at work.”
Sure. Just another day.
I drove to the house. Eliot’s pickup was parked outside the garage. Dusty and only slightly beat up, it looked natural. It looked like it belonged.
“Not that kind of deal,” I muttered as I crossed to the side door of the house. I could not fantasize about my future husband.
I stepped in. Should I change clothes? I’d put on a different top, but?—
A shirtless Eliot was positioned at an ironing board. A white-with-brown-stripes dress shirt was hanging off each side. He must’ve found Grandma’s iron, and his muscles were in full flex as he used it.
My mouth went dry.
Carter did not have a body like that.
I wasn’t a sheltered girl. I messed around in high school. In college, I’d dated a couple of guys, but no one serious. In vet school, I was swept off my feet by a smooth-talking veterinarian. But my experience did not include muscled pecs and veins running down biceps to sinewy forearms. And those shoulders? Perfect to hold onto.
I trailed my gaze across the dark dusting of hair on his chest and followed the trail down to his abs. He was wearing jeans, but the clasp was open and the black waistband of his underwear was visible. I jerked my gaze up, terrified but also hopeful that I’d see too much.
He glanced up. His hair was combed to the side like today was special.
I continued to stare.
A twinkle lightened his eyes. “Keep staring, Lily pad, and I’m gonna start to blush.”
I snapped out of my trance. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry.”
His chuckle was deep and vibrated right down to between my thighs. I had a baby. I was postpartum. I had loads of stress. I was not supposed to get turned on in a blink. Not by the guy I was going to marry.
“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “A man doesn’t mind when a beautiful woman’s checking him out.”
I rolled my eyes. “Putting it on thick, Romeo.”
“Nope.” He set the iron down and shrugged into his shirt. More bunching and flexing. I was a hussy, eating him up the way I was. “Cody lent me one of his shirts. How’s it look?”
A squeak left me. Hot? Sizzling? Like I could rip it right back off?
He grinned again, sending my insides into a tailspin, making long-forgotten nerve endings fire. A steady beat started between my thighs.
Alarm flooded my veins. Was I…horny?
The smile didn’t leave his eyes. “Ready?”
That shocked me out of my stupor. No. I was not ready. “I have to change.”
“You look fine.”
I put the back of my hand against my forehead. “Swoon.”
He stilled and considered me. “Lily, I’m starting to think no man has shown you how attractive you are.”
My hair was pinned off my face, the curls weren’t frizzed yet, and I’d even shaved my legs sometime in the last week. That was the extent of my beauty regimen. “Men have been an overall letdown, present company excluded, of course. I’m going to change, then I’ll be ready.”
I scooted around him, praying I didn’t touch that hard body of his and find out how ready I was to have sex again. Bad idea.
When I peeked at him, his gaze had dropped to my chest. Heat wicked up my neck and stopped. He was probably checking to see if I leaked again. Would I ever get over the mortification of that?
In my bedroom, I stared at the meager amount of clothing I’d brought with me from Kansas. Did eloping call for slacks? My first wedding hadn’t been much more than a small gathering in a church, but I’d at least worn a dress.
I changed into my only one, a light-purple dress with daisies scattered all over. Not the same dress from my first wedding.
Time to get married. Again.
All too soon, we were at the courthouse, filling out the paperwork for the marriage license. My stomach was going to toss up the pancakes and eggs Eliot had made for breakfast this morning. Kellan had slept through much of the night, and Eliot had been awake before all of us.
The clerk chattered away. “It’s so nice North Dakota doesn’t have a waiting period. I mean, people can fly to Vegas in less than three hours and get married, so why not do it in the comfort of your own hometown? At least in the same county. Sometimes, when you know, you know. You know?”
“Absolutely,” Eliot answered easily, and she smiled. She was young, but she wasn’t taken by Eliot. Her eyes had flared when she’d seen him, but she wore her own giant diamond, and from the way she gushed about the ease of getting wed, she had probably utilized the lack of a waiting period.
She tapped on her computer. “All right. Johanna is ready whenever you are. Are your witnesses here?”
“We are,” Cody said from behind us.
Aggie was with him, beaming in a maternity dress that wasn’t much different than mine and wearing cowboy boots. Cody looked like he was ready to go to a board meeting for the day. We looked like we were going to a nice place to eat.
A shiver ghosted over my skin. We were getting closer and closer to saying “I do.”
“’Bout time you showed up,” Eliot joked.
Cody checked his watch. “We’re ten minutes early.”
“Just so happens, you’re right on time.” When Eliot smiled, I caught the lines of strain around his eyes.
Guilt gnawed into my stomach lining. He had to be stressed. The guy had a lot on his shoulders. He didn’t need my problems piling it all higher.
The girl grinned. “Come with me.”
Eliot ushered Cody and Aggie to go ahead of us.
I tripped over my feet taking a step. The butterflies swelled in my stomach, pushing out and growing uncomfortable. If my nerves were this bad, what was it like for Eliot? I’d been through this before. He hadn’t.
He put his hand on my back. His heat seeped through my dress, dulling my anxiety but increasing the thrum he’d ignited when he’d ironed without a shirt.
The girl disappeared into an office.
“How are you doing?” I murmured to him.
He only thought a moment. Then he ran one of my stray curls that had escaped through his fingers. “I’m doing just fine, Lily pad.”
He’d used that name twice now. No one had ever given me a nickname.
The girl popped her head out. “I thought I lost you.” She smiled, taking us in.
We looked like a couple in love, getting one last lovely whisper in. Suddenly, the desire to be just that was strong, causing an urge to run to whisper through my brain. I swallowed hard.
This was a deal. He was helping me because he was a nice guy.
He gave me a reassuring smile and took my hand in his. His skin was warm, and I soaked up the comfort. He nodded at his brother and sister and led me in.
My mind blanked in and out the whole time. Introductions. Johanna was short with dark hair. She gave an explanation of how the little service would go, the paperwork afterward, and then the vows.
“Do you have the rings?” Johanna asked.
“Sh— No.” Eliot patted his shirt pocket like he might’ve forgotten rings we never bought there. “I’m sorry. We were too excited to think about the details.”
Carter had wanted my ring back, but I wouldn’t have worn it anyway. “Neither of us have jobs that are good for rings.”
Relief crossed his face. Johanna nodded, only mild surprise in her expression.
I faced Eliot. He held both of my clammy hands. My knees were shaking. Oh god. I’d done this once before, and it was a disaster. This time, I knew the relationship was ending in divorce. There was comfort in that as I recited my vows. I wouldn’t be taken by surprise again.
“I now pronounce you man and wife,” Johanna said warmly. “You may kiss the bride.”
I sucked in a breath. A kiss? How did I forget that part?
A kiss.
Heat filled his expression, and his focus was on my mouth. Nothing else existed in my world at the moment but him.
He dipped his head down, his hands tightening around my fingers. Slowly, we got closer. Then his lips touched mine, ever so softly at first, then increasing in pressure. The heat that had flooded me when I saw him shirtless made a return, swirling through my belly and settling lower.
He released my hands to wrap his arms around my waist. I gripped those wide shoulders I had appreciated earlier. Now I knew what they looked like underneath his carefully ironed shirt.
The man ironed .
He held me, deepening the kiss but keeping it chaste. I’d never felt so secure, so safe. I definitely hadn’t buzzed with this much anticipation on my real wedding day.
Real. Wedding. Day.
This day was no different than that one. Only the man had changed. The empty pit in my stomach yawned open.
He pulled back, releasing me like he wasn’t ready. His gaze searched mine, questioning if I was okay, if he went too far.
My smile was probably shaky, but the sweeping relief was intense. I could keep the house. I could keep my job. “Thank you.”
His eyes warmed. “You’re welcome.”
There. It was done.
And that kiss…
My knees were wobbly for a completely different reason.
Cody slapped Eliot on the back. “Good to go.”
The justice beamed at us, not at all thrown by our nonjubilant reaction. “I’m honored to be part of your big day.”
Today was the beginning of the end of the marriage. How odd to know that up front.
After we signed and submitted everything required and I got a copy for Aunt Linda, we walked outside to the small parking lot and stood between the two pickups.
Aggie gave me a quick hug. “I know this is temporary, but welcome to the family.”
Cody shook Eliot’s hand. “You need anything, holler. Keep the shirt. Wedding gift.”
Eliot tugged at the collar. “You know I don’t dress up.”
“It’s good for you.” Cody turned to me. He didn’t seem like a hugger. Instead, he shook my hand. “Remember, we’re not far away if you need anything. Call any one of us.”
I nodded, numb.
Good thing “young Lily” hadn’t known she wouldn’t grow up to be a happily married veterinarian who saved kittens and puppies. All my illusions had been shattered. At least I knew where I stood with my career and with relationships.
“Lily.” Eliot’s voice was soft, searching.
My husband.
I could blame the sun for why it was hard to look at him, but my nerves had returned. The man was indeed different with his hard jaw, keen eyes, and that sweep of dark hair. He’d shaved, but I’d like to trace his jaw. I bet stubble was already there.
“You have to get back?” I asked.
“Eventually,” he said. “My guys can function without me a little longer.” He didn’t sound confident. “Want to go eat and celebrate?”
“I feel like there isn’t much for you to celebrate.”
“Don’t think like that. Have you been to Hummingbird’s yet?”
“No, but I’ve wanted to.” I loaded into the pickup, knowing full well he hadn’t disagreed with me.
Eliot
It took inhuman effort to keep from watching Lily’s mouth as she took a bite and chewed. I knew how those puffy lips felt. Even worse, I’d held her briefly, had my arms around her soft, curvy body, and soaked in her warm sunshine smell.
Thelma swung by to pour more coffee for me. She was Tova’s surrogate grandma and had worked at the diner for years. Cody and Tova said she didn’t have to work, they had made sure of it, but Thelma had asked what else she’d do all day. She claimed she was too old to hike or skydive or run the Mafia, so she might as well serve greasy food.
“Thanks, Thelma.”
She grunted and peered at Lily’s cup before walking away. Lily hadn’t touched hers. She said she wasn’t giving Kellan more reasons not to sleep all night, but it wouldn’t have mattered. Thelma would’ve poured her a cup anyway, and she had.
Lily cut into her caramel roll. Our conversation had been awkward and stilted. Figuring out living arrangements now that we were married shouldn’t be so uncomfortable, but then it was usually the other way around.
I downed a sip of the scalding, bitter-as-tar coffee. Just how I preferred it. “The next time I come out, I’ll bring clothing and stuff.”
She got that timid look in her eye that I hated. “When are you returning?”
As soon as possible. But that wasn’t feasible. I could only spare time when needed to keep my absence from being a burden. “When do you need me?”
Her lips parted. The way her mouth captured my attention… The coffee wasn’t hot enough to burn this inappropriate lust out of my brain. That pouty lower lip needed a good nibbling and not from her. I bet it’d taste sweet from the roll. Her flavor would be sugar and sunshine.
Goddamn.
“Why don’t you see what works for your schedule?” She poked her fork into the roll.
I wanted to leave her with an answer, but I didn’t have anything. I was down an employee, and I’d been gone for almost four days. She was right. I had to see what work was like before I could plan to get away again. “We’ll do that, and you’ll call Wilder if you need anything.” She opened her mouth, but I leaned forward and put my hand on hers. “You’re going to argue that Wilder’s taking care of Sutton. So I’m going to tell you to call Austen. Or Cody. Or Ansen. I have four brothers—and don’t tell Ansen I included him, or he’ll be even more of a dick.”
Her lips curved into a smile. That mouth. I could spend all day exploring that lush body of hers. But I wouldn’t be. I was celibate for the next year.
Why’d that feel like a relief? Like she’d just saved me from having a beer in town on a Friday night and trying to keep things light with some girl. We’d mess around. Too often, she caught feelings, and I’d have to tell her that the ranch wasn’t mine. That the house wasn’t mine. That I wasn’t good for more than a good time. No way would I prove my mama right and be nothing but a disappointment to a woman.
Lily didn’t need me for any of that. She only needed me for me, even if she didn’t want me. Though the way she’d looked at me this morning…
She chewed her bottom lip and stared at my hand on hers. She couldn’t eat with me holding it down.
I pulled away. “What about the winter?”
She cocked her head. “What about it?”
“Do you have snow removal figured out?”
“I think Grandma hired a service. I’ll find their contact information.”
“There’s a snowblower attachment for the lawn mower. Maybe when I’m back, I can take a look.”
“You don’t have to,” she said and shoved her food in her mouth. I was focused on how her lips wrapped around the fork. “My dad made sure I can change oil and run yard equipment.”
“Three of the tires are flat.”
She lifted a shoulder and sawed another hunk off her roll. “He taught me how to change those too.”
Another strand of patience frayed. “Lily, I know I’m supposed to be nothing but a name on the marriage license and a few shirts in your closet, but I can’t just ignore you for a year.”
She blinked at me with those big eyes. “You can, though. My dad, of all people, should understand commuting for work. He has hundreds of oil well employees who do the same. I have no idea how much Aunt Linda will visit.”
“But she lives in Coal Haven?”
She nodded.
My commuting excuse would only go so far. “I’ll let you know by the end of the week when I can return. If you see Linda before then, tell her that there was a ranch emergency.” And hopefully, there wouldn’t be a real one.
“Okay.” She stuffed an especially gooey portion of the roll into her mouth before digging in her purse. She withdrew a key and pushed it over. “So you can get in without knocking.”
The amount of trust she was putting in me was staggering. I didn’t take it for granted, nor did I take lightly the way she likely evaluated my family’s reactions to me. If they had thought I was a bad idea, Lily would’ve noticed. This whole marriage was a group effort. I wouldn’t let any of them down.
“Okay.” Good. She was starting to realize I was serious. She acted like she was a burden. I always did what had to be done, and I’d continue to do so. I wouldn’t let my wife stand in the way of me caring for her.