Chapter 10
Ten
Lily
I blinked awake. Eliot had taken Kellan again in the middle of the night after I’d fed him. When Eliot had entered the bedroom, I’d been hit with a stark desire of wishing he was coming into the bedroom for me.
Voices filtered in from Cali’s bedroom. That girl was on cloud nine. She had her aunts and uncles in town, her grandparents, and Eliot.
I put on a fresh shirt and some shorts and quietly made my way to the bathroom.
“I don’t know why my old mommy doesn’t want me. My daddy doesn’t either.” Cali’s voice was tiny, more matter of fact than a six-year-old’s should be.
“Aw, Cali. I’m sorry. My mama left too. It sucks when the people who should love us the most hurt us the worst.”
I stopped at the door. I’d been ready to rush in and check on Cali’s state, console her if needed, but Eliot spoke like he knew exactly what she was going through. Cali had never had the benefit of firsthand understanding.
“I know for a fact your old mommy’s issues have nothing to do with you,” Eliot continued, “and everything to do with her. But it still sucks.”
“Yeah,” she said, melancholy. “Mommy’s a good mommy.”
My chest squeezed. I loved that little girl.
“She’s the best mama,” Eliot agreed.
A smile tugged at my lips.
“She says I’m gonna talk to someone.”
“Like, a professional?” he asked.
“Yeah, a consoler.”
“A counselor?” The humor in his voice was barely noticeable. “I think that’s a good plan,” he said quietly. “Having someone to talk to probably helps a lot.”
I put my hand on my chest. The image of a young boy with big brown eyes and no one to go to about his big feelings flashed through my head, leaving an aching in my chest.
“Yup. Did your daddy give you up too?” Cali asked.
Tears heated the backs of my eyes. Fuck Carter and his selfish life.
“No, but he wasn’t a nice daddy.”
Fuck Eliot’s parents too. I went to the doorway of the bedroom so Eliot knew I could hear. He was in the rocking chair with Kellan asleep on his chest. Cali had coloring books piled on her bed, and she was surrounded by markers. His gaze flipped to mine. I gave him a small smile, and his eyes heated.
For a heartbeat, I could pretend this moment was real if only to show myself why I had walked away from the marriage with Carter and told him I wanted full custody of the kids. He’d been painfully ready to give up all of his rights.
“My brother Cody mostly raised us,” Eliot continued, holding my gaze. “He was a kid himself, but he did a good job. Don’t ever tell him I said that.”
Cali nodded solemnly.
He rocked slowly. The corner of his mouth tipped up. “Did you catch up on some sleep?”
My body was getting programmed by him. I got sleep because he was around, and I, therefore, felt good. Just seeing him made me more rested. “Only thanks to you. Again.”
“Don’t mention it. You ready to entertain?”
I let out a slow exhale. I’d be more worked up if Eliot wasn’t here. Last night, we’d read over the trust paperwork. It might not have been prudent to trust Linda sight unseen, but she’d told the truth.
“I’m going to clean up, and then I can take Kellan. He’ll help me get hamburgers ready.” I crossed my arms. “You don’t have to be there if you don’t want to.”
“If you know one thing about me, it’s that I don’t abandon ship.”
“Is that how you ended up managing the ranch?”
He rocked, slow and steady, his expression neutral. Kellan was starting to wiggle. “Someone had to manage it, otherwise Barns would’ve run everyone off. He got worse over the years.”
“Who’s Barns?” Cali asked.
“The guy who was supposed to be my father, but he was more of a boss.”
She wrinkled her nose like she didn’t care for the sound of that at all. I didn’t either.
No wonder Cali had taken to him. Yes, she craved attention and validation from adults in her life, thanks to her birth mom and Carter. But Eliot had understood her right away.
I was starting to understand Eliot too. He was a guy who wouldn’t leave a frantic mom hanging when she had to marry someone. He did what had to be done. He gave of himself because it was what he thought was the right thing to do. It was the one thing his parents hadn’t done for him.
I went into the bathroom, mulling over my thoughts. He was helping me because he was my husband and that was what spouses did. He probably wanted to be a better one than his dad. It was all so clear. Any hints of romance were nothing but my fantasies, misinterpreting his generous actions.
Eliot
“Need a hand?” Alder walked over to the grill with a can of sparkling water in his hand. He was dressed down today, in crisp jeans and a polo, looking more like his dad.
The fact that I’d gotten the old grill Lily found in the garage working was a miracle, but I wasn’t about to tolerate stovetop burgers when there was a grill with a heartbeat in the vicinity.
I transferred a burger to a higher rack to keep it warm while the last few finished. “I’ve got it, but you can find out who wants cheese and who doesn’t.”
“Can’t they just put it on themselves?” Confusion entered his gaze.
“I have a system.”
He continued to stare at me, but I didn’t sense resistance.
“My family gets together a lot,” I explained, only because he wasn’t being an ass. He mostly seemed lost at not being in charge.
The Dukes were a lot less overpowering today than yesterday. Violet brought cases of sparkling water. Poppy—they were not twins, but they were only ten months apart—had come bearing chips. Clover supplied the dip. Jasper joked about filling his trunk with beer and got a stern warning glare from his mom. I still wasn’t sure if he was joking, but he produced a new cooler with ice that he must’ve just purchased.
People were gathered on the concrete pad in front of the old shop. Various plastic chairs Lily had found in the garage and shop had been hosed off and dried. Cali was the only kid running around, but she had plenty of aunts and uncles to entertain her. So familiar but so different to what I was used to.
“The grill is kinda my thing,” I continued. My brothers knew not to touch the grill unless I handed over the tongs. “I have a process.”
Understanding filled his eyes. “You have a large family too. Dad mentioned how many Knights there are.”
“We started our gatherings with the big cattle weekends on the ranch. The food was more of a thank-you, but then we just kept doing it. When Aggie moved to Crocus Valley and got married, her wedding kicked off a new tradition. Now, the parties rotate through everyone’s houses and holidays. It really doesn’t take much for them to get together anymore.”
“Them? Not you?”
Alder was sharp. He’d caught that, and I didn’t realize how I’d phrased it. “I’m ruled by the job. Depending on the season, I might not be able to get away.”
His eyes narrowed.
Shit. “Of course, now that I’m commuting, I’ll be around more.”
He cocked a dark brow. “Commuting. That can be hard on a relationship.”
“Lots of divorces happen when people live together every day.”
A dark cloud rippled across his expression. “Too true.”
I wasn’t sure what I said, but there was a story there. I was surrounded by my new in-laws and I knew very little about them.
Alder stuffed his hands into his pockets. “About this dance recital?”
“It’s my sister-in-law’s dance school. Pretty informal.” I hadn’t planned to attend until Lily had talked to me with her parents in the car. I had an employee put in his notice just as the new guy started. He was going back to school. I needed to get to hiring another person before winter arrived and scared everyone off. The new hire from Baltimore would take a while to get the hang of everything. He was a fresh cowboy. He knew horses, but he didn’t know about raising them or caring for them each day. He could ride, but every day was a lesson.
“Do a lot of people from Coal Haven go to it?”
I took all the burgers off the grill. “Maybe? I’m sure some of her students are from Coal Haven.”
“Right. I won’t be able to stay long. I have some work to catch up on.”
“Sure.” Curiosity rose inside me. As the oldest, he’d lived in Coal Haven the longest. Did he still have connections there? I’d ask Lily later.
Jasper sauntered up to us. Alder’s jaw clenched. I recognized that look from Cody. Poor Jasper and whatever his life’s choices had been.
“Speaking of work,” Alder said to Jasper, “have you found a place?—”
“My severance package is?—”
“Almost gone,” Alder said. Yup, he was a lot like Cody. Even their names were similar.
“I’ve got an opening.” I should shut my mouth, but I found employees in all sorts of places. I’d hired guys I met at horse shows or at the gas station on my way to horse and cattle sales and at those horse and cattle sales. I’d learned to be resourceful over the years.
Jasper studied me, but his expression was serious. “What kind of opening?”
“Ranch hand. Pay is shit, I’m not gonna lie. Most of us do the work ’cause we love it.” Or because there was no one left to do it. “What’s your experience with horses and cattle?”
Jasper gestured to the land around him. “Picture these pastures filled with cattle and horses.”
“And goats,” Alder added.
“And goats. We used to help our grandparents as kids. Less often after we moved to Billings, but enough to keep my skills up.” Jasper rubbed his lower lip between his thumb and forefinger. “It’d just be until I find something in my field.”
“Unless your field keeps downsizing.” Alder spoke in a way that said there was more to the story.
I’d ask Lily.
I’d have to touch base with her on a few things after today. How she felt about her family’s visit. If she was okay with me offering Jasper a job. It was possible that with him hired on, I’d be able to break away more often. Which would mean more time with my wife.
Lily
“I can’t imagine why you’re into him.” Violet’s murmur was laced with teasing sarcasm.
She was holding Kellan. Cali had taken her on a frenetic tour of the place as if Violet hadn’t spent as much time running through the yard and buildings as me before I moved in. Now she sat with me and Poppy and Clover while Cali dominated my parents. Jasper had cruised by the food, grabbing a handful of chips or veggies and beelined for Alder and Eliot.
Eliot could handle himself, but I hoped he didn’t have to. I liked the way he’d stood up for me. The way he reacted to my family was worlds different than Carter. Instead of being defensive, he’d cooperated. He wasn’t isolating me, and he’d made the picnic a success. If I got nothing else from this marriage, other than the house, I’d learn what a true partnership was like.
“Are you saying my husband’s hot?” My sister had never had a good thing to say about Carter. She was already more complimentary about Eliot.
“He’s not my type, but he doesn’t make me want to wash myself like Carter.”
“Oh my god, Violet.” It was never fun to hear how epically bad my choice had been.
Poppy wrinkled her nose. “Carter did have that Cadillac-salesman vibe.”
“No, it’s the hair gel that gave him that oily feeling,” Clover added.
“He was a mistake, okay? You were all correct about him. Go ahead and say I told you so.” I chugged from my can of sparkling water, wishing it had anything more than zero proof. I should’ve listened to them. Carter had gotten to me by making me feel like I had to be more sophisticated and savvier than a girl from Billings who loved her family and animals.
“We didn’t want to be right,” Violet said quietly. “We were afraid that we were though.”
I gave her a reassuring smile. “I think I was afraid you were right too.” I’d fallen in love with Cali as soon as I’d seen her. I’d seen my chance to create a home like what I’d grown up with and I’d seized it, red flags be damned.
Clover clicked her tongue against her teeth. “I don’t feel like Eliot will tell you he’s fucking his coworker when you tell him you don’t like his attitude.”
“He’s not that limp dishrag, that’s for sure.” Violet peered at Eliot like she was sizing him up. “Carter would’ve whined about how mean we were being yesterday.”
Clover snorted. “He wouldn’t have entered the house.”
“Probably would’ve driven away hoping we didn’t see him,” Poppy added. “But not your man. He was ready to throw down for you. ‘You’ll need to talk on her schedule,’” she mimicked Eliot’s deep voice.
“He was not.” I bit back a giggle. They’d never given me a hard time about Carter.
Poppy flashed me a smug smile. “He was like, ‘Lily’s not home,’ like he was going to demand we wait.”
“He did not.” But Eliot had told me he was going to put a stop to the discussion if I hadn’t arrived.
“He so did.” Clover snickered and put her hand to her mouth. “Pissed Violet off.”
Violet’s eyes flared. “I was not upset.”
Clover held her hands up. “I know you don’t like the stick up your ass getting twanged?—”
“Clover Jean Duke, you do not talk to me like that.” Violet’s voice got lower the angrier she grew. “You never give Alder a hard time about being an uptight prick.”
“Because we all know how he used to be.”
Violet snapped her mouth shut, then sighed. “Fair. But someone’s had to watch out for you three and your bad decisions, and I’m not talking about cutting bangs yourself.”
Poppy ran her hands along the brown strands framing her face. “Hey, they’re almost grown out.”
Violet eyed Clover. “The tattoo.”
Clover winced. “It’s classy and I stand by it.”
“Is that why Jasper asked me if there was a place in Billings that did cover-ups?” Violet challenged.
“Why don’t we do this?” I blurted out before Clover could answer.
Poppy blinked. “What?”
“Just hang out and give each other a hard time for no other reason than because we’re sisters?” I glanced at Eliot and stroked my gaze over his broad back to his impeccable ass. “The Knights are always hanging out, and I know I’ve heard them say they haven’t always been that way, but… I just want sisters I can talk to. Brothers too.”
“Well…” Poppy continued to pull at her long bangs. “We don’t live close like you said they do.”
“I know.” I shouldn’t have brought it up, but after the Fourth of July, I couldn’t quit wishing for what I didn’t have, which included a sexy husband who made my panties wet while he cooked hamburgers on the grill.
Violet dropped her chin down and studied the concrete. “I think you underestimate how much we worried about you with Carter. We could all see the wedge he was putting between you and us.”
“It didn’t help that I felt like he wasn’t all wrong.” That was the rub. His and his parents’ catty remarks had held a lot of truth. “You guys were always taking care of me, and I never wanted to upset anyone.”
“Carter was different,” Violet said. “He was a sentient red flag, Lil. He treated you like shit.”
“He treated me like a queen until I wasn’t necessary.” That was how he fooled me.
“Yes,” Violet replied, “but there were several red flags under his bravado. Look, we were all supportive of you marrying him so you could adopt Cali. But dropping out of vet school? That douche could’ve found a way, but he wanted a free babysitter.”
He could’ve, but he’d dangled exactly what I wanted in front of me. My own family. “At least I came out of it with two amazing kids.”
“They’re the only reason Alder and Jasper didn’t kill him and hide the body in the oil fields,” Poppy said.
I might be bloodthirsty for the way I liked to hear that, but so be it. “Carter’s out of my life, and I’m better for it.”
“Don’t you want to go back to vet school?” Violet asked. Of all of them, she would be the one ruminating over why I wasn’t trying to finish what I’d started. She’d have clawed her way to the top no matter what.
“Actually, no. I like being able to do my job and leave. I’ve worked in clinics enough now to see the stress. Plus, I get to deal with the animals more than the people. The vets don’t get that.”
My sisters peered at me for a moment, then Violet nodded. “It’s your life.”
“It is,” I agreed, grateful they seemed to understand that I didn’t need to be at the top of my profession to be happy. I wanted a job I enjoyed and a house full of love like I’d had growing up. I was also ready to move on from the topic of me. “So, when are you all getting married?”
Violet blanched. “Can you imagine if I dragged Willis to North Dakota?” She scoffed.
Was I brave enough to say what was on my mind? I glanced at the tall man with the nice ass who was my husband. Yes. I was. “Willis has always reminded me of Carter.”
Poppy was in the middle of a drink when she sputtered. Clover turned like she was trying to see where Cali was playing with our parents. She most likely wanted a reason to get away from the conversation.
“You can’t be serious,” Violet said in a haughty tone.
“As serious as Carter’s love for hair product.” If I didn’t feel it was important to open my sister’s eyes to her crappy boyfriend, I’d keep my mouth shut.
Clover swiped a hand over her face, but her smile stayed in place. “What have you done with our timid little sister?”
“I think you’re asking the wrong person.” Poppy jerked her head toward Eliot. He was putting a plate of burgers on the table. “What’s he doing to her?”
“Ten bucks if you give me the good details,” Clover said.
“Clover!” She’d be scandalized if I listed everything I wanted him to do to me. She’d be even more appalled if she knew that the final answer would be nothing. Eliot and I were doing nothing together but pretending to be in love.
Violet shook her head, back to being an impervious older sister. “It looks like it’s time to eat. I’ll get Mom and Dad.”
Poppy nudged my shoulder. “Thanks for having the balls to bring up Willis. He’s the reason she never comes to visit. Montana is too hick for his California ass.”
“He can stay out of Billings, then,” Clover said. “I can’t believe she left him long enough to come here.”
I watched Violet turn on her chipper voice to let our parents and Cali know it was time to eat. “As long as she’s here and he’s not.”
Poppy threaded her arms through mine. “You’re right, though. We need to get together more. It’s been too long.” She snorted. “I’m just not getting married to do it. But you’ve been through a lot, and you deserve the sexy cowboy who fell into your lap.”