Chapter 20
Twenty
Eliot
I had the condom and was pushing inside of her, afraid I’d blown all my restraint. I feared I’d moved too fast, and once I thrust into that wet heat of hers, I’d be done.
My fears might be founded because as soon as she wrapped her legs around my waist and she was positioned just right on the edge of the island, I pumped with abandon. I pumped and grunted. She kissed my neck and up to my mouth. Her hands and mouth roamed over me.
It’d been a long few weeks, capped by an eerily quiet Thanksgiving holiday that would’ve made a lesser man feel sorry for himself.
I might be a little selfish at the moment, taking what she’d give me.
Lily was in my house.
I’d walked in well past lunchtime, my stomach twisting because I hadn’t had more than quick sandwiches for days, and I’d seen her. An apparition conjured by my fantasies.
I was no longer alone in this big, empty house.
Men are so selfish.
I blocked out old memories. They had no place in this moment. Lily drove all the way from Billings to see me. I had her to myself. I had a fuckton of work outside these doors, but it could all wait.
I just wanted more time with her before I let the world creep back in.
My climax was climbing higher. She stuffed her hands into my hair, and I was done.
No. Not yet.
But I couldn’t stop the rush of ecstasy. My arousal had been too strong, too acute. I needed to release inside of her more than I needed my next breath.
My orgasm hit and I clenched my teeth together. I couldn’t yell her name, everything was too strong, too much, too urgent. I clutched her to me and rode the wave. Her body gripped mine, clamping around me as I came down from my high.
I was barely coherent, but I was aware enough. “Fuck, you didn’t come again.”
She continued to tunnel her hands through my hair. “I felt like I was still coming from the first time.”
“Not good enough. I should’ve?—”
She silenced me with a kiss. When she pulled away, she blinked those big indigo eyes at me. “I orgasmed literally within minutes of you. Sometimes, just being with you is more than I need.”
My traitorous stomach chose that moment to rumble.
She grinned. “Hungry, Romeo?”
I eased out of her. “I only grabbed a quick breakfast sandwich before I went out this morning. I was just coming in for lunch.” I’d had the best snack instead. Walked right into a dream. If only I could take her to bed and spend the rest of the day there.
“Wait here.” She gently pushed me away so she could bend and grab her pants.
I gave her ass a little swat. The jiggle of her butt cheeks was going to make me hard again. She had more condoms—we’d still need to buy more—and I could so easily bend her over the island.
She grinned at me and rushed down the hall toward the bathroom by Aggie’s old bedroom. “I need to run to the car, and I’ll be right back.”
While she was cleaning up, I did the same in the bathroom on the other side of the house. My stomach continued to be a noisy jackass. I prided myself on handling everything alone while the guys got real holidays, and I stayed at home to keep from bugging my siblings and their growing families while I’d sat in the new chair I’d gotten to replace my father’s old Chesterfield chair, and I reveled in the fact that I wasn’t like him. He’d have never given everyone the weekend off and taken on all the work himself.
But I had also thought about the food I was missing. I wasn’t going to cook a turkey for one. I wouldn’t be around to keep an eye on it, nor would I have time to make pie. Chambers’s wife would likely send one on Monday. The thought had been some consolation to my empty stomach. But then I’d think about Aggie’s mashed potatoes. The way Cody deep-fried at least one turkey for the holiday. Or how Sutton and Wilder had made homemade stuffing last year.
I went back to the kitchen, pressing a hand to my gut. I was just hungry.
I opened the fridge and groaned. More sandwich material. If I could go back to the day I bought groceries, I’d bitch-slap myself. But I’d known how busy I’d be all weekend.
Lily scurried in with a large tote. She put it on the counter. No, not a tote. It was some sort of carrier. Then she unzipped it and revealed the cooler inside.
“When I told Mom my plans, she insisted I bring you leftovers. Thanksgiving dinner was an absolute feast.”
She took out a container. I was so hungry I opened the lid while she was digging more out. A turkey leg was on top of carved turkey meat. I started gnawing on it.
She smiled. “I’ll heat the rest up while you take the edge off.”
I mowed down the meat on the leg. It was goddamn delicious for being a cold bird. Gratitude for the food was my first inclination, but then I grew increasingly humbled with each dish of home-cooked food.
“Did your mom make all this?” I asked around a mouthful. There was everything I’d been dreaming of and more. Some sort of corn dish. Cranberries. I usually didn’t touch the stuff, but I’d eat every bite because Magnolia Duke thought to send me food.
Maybe she was worried I wouldn’t provide for her daughter in my bachelor pad. She would’ve been right.
“The rest of us helped.” She shot me a knowing look. “Mom makes sure it’s equal opportunity in the kitchen. My brothers don’t get out of cooking.”
After Mama left, cooking became a necessity. Either we learned, or we didn’t eat. Barns would make us work harder until we were so hungry we’d boil rocks for dinner. Meanwhile, he’d head to town, grab some bar grub, and find a bed for the night.
She withdrew a baggie of sugar cookies. “Cali helped with these.”
Cali was probably the cutest little baker ever. I studied the shapes with the red frosting. “Christmas cookies?”
“There’s more. Mom had all her kids and grandkids under the same roof, and she wasn’t wasting time.”
She busied herself around the kitchen, getting plates and heaping one of them until there was no room. I didn’t have to ask if the other was hers. She heated them up in the microwave and then dug around the cupboards.
I liked that she was comfortable enough to not ask for permission. I liked that she was taking care of me. Here I was, being selfish again, but maybe for a bit longer, I could repay her in orgasms.
Still, it bothered me she’d cut her holiday short with her family. “You didn’t have to leave early for me.”
“I wanted to.” She opened the microwave and stood on her tiptoes to stir the food. Then she shut the door again.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have you—for more than sex.” I put lids back on containers and started loading them into my half-empty fridge. “But I’m afraid I won’t be good for much more.”
“I know.” She crossed to me and put her hands on my shoulders. “I didn’t like the thought of you being alone, and it drove me crazy to be passing so close to your house and not stop in.”
“You made a special trip.”
She shrugged. “The kids get solo grandparent time, and let me tell you, Cali is delighted. Jasper is catching up with buddies. Alder went back to his house. Violet and Willis left last night. I’m honestly surprised Violet’s boyfriend came at all. Poppy and Clover are catching up with friends.”
“What about Kellan? Don’t you need to…” I indicated my chest.
“I weaned him.”
“You did?”
She nodded. The microwave dinged and she turned to mix the food again. She hadn’t told me, but then she wouldn’t need to. If I’d been there, I would’ve known. She might’ve discussed her decision or the struggles she was having.
It wasn’t that kind of marriage. But it was the kind where she surprised me at home and I took her against the island. I was hungry, but my appetite for her was growing again. My gaze dropped to her ass.
“My supply wasn’t keeping up, and I figured we’d had a good six months of nursing. Instead of stressing about why, I figured I’d wean him.” She shimmied her shoulders. “I’m sure I’m not supposed to confess that it’s nice to have my body back again, but I don’t miss the sore boobs.”
When she started the microwave again and turned back around, I dropped my gaze to her chest. “What I’m hearing is…I can play with your tits.”
Pink dusted across her cheeks. “You played with them before.”
“Not with my mouth.”
The flush deepened. I loved that damn color.
I could easily love the whole woman.
I turned back to the counter and pushed the cooler to the side. I was falling for Lily.
“Whatever you do, Eliot, don’t put your own wants and needs before a woman’s.” Mom’s tsk and sigh rang in my head like she’d told me only yesterday, “Don’t be another Knight to hold a girl back from the life she deserves.”
If I wasn’t careful, I’d end up exactly the guy Mama thought I’d turn into.
Lily
I sat at the island and watched a show on my phone. Eliot and I had eaten all the leftovers. On Friday, when he’d gone back outside, I had run to town and bought groceries, including more protection, and endured the small-town stares all the way through the store.
Did they know I was Eliot’s wife?
Did they know it was a ruse?
As long as Aunt Linda didn’t, did it matter?
On Saturday, I had prepped some quick reheat meals for Eliot for the week. He said most of his employees were returning today, Jasper included.
I checked the time. He’d be back soon. I’d gotten a message that he was taking off three hours ago, but depending on how many potty breaks Cali surprised him with, he could have an hour or two left.
The door opened from the garage. I clicked out of the show and turned with a smile. The guy coming toward me wasn’t Eliot. He was a wiry man with shock-white hair and a bushy mustache. He carried a covered round tin in one hand.
“Oh, you must be the missus. Lily, right? All your siblings have plant names.”
Pleased I was the first to come to mind, I nodded. I might have a few trust issues left over from Carter, but Eliot was a completely different person and didn’t give off those vibes. Yet, I’d be looking for confirmation everywhere for a while.
“Hi, yes. Chambers?”
He shuffled toward me with his free hand out. “At your service.”
I got a hearty handshake before he sidled around me.
He set the tin on the counter and withdrew a couple of forks. Then he dug out two plates. “I didn’t know you were coming, but I’m sure glad you could make it.”
“Jasper helped me figure out a plan.”
“I like that kid.” He uncovered some sort of pie and sliced right into it. “He gets right to work, and the things he can do with spreadsheets can make an old man feel like he was born in the Neanderthal era.”
He scooped a slice of what appeared to be strawberry rhubarb pie onto each plate. He set a fork next to a slice and slid it toward me.
I wasn’t hungry, but I wasn’t about to turn down pie. That was one of the things I’d never really made after I left home. “Thank you.”
“No, thank you. I was worried about that boy.”
“Jasper?”
He chuckled. “No, but also yes. It’s the parent in me. I didn’t like Eliot skipping the holidays. Didn’t sit right with me.” He shoved a forkful in his mouth.
Then I was glad I surprised him. “It was important to him that his employees get time off.”
He chewed while considering me. “We have a rotation,” he said around the food, then swallowed. “The guys know when they work holidays, and when one quits or gets fired, the new hire takes over the schedule. It’s how it’s been run since before Barns passed.”
I left my pie untouched. “I know he didn’t want to be a bother to his siblings.”
“Austen invited him. He was cooking because he and Vienne knew life would get hectic with a new baby under the roof.”
“He was invited?”
Chambers nodded.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. “My parents invited him to their place too.”
“That was nice of them. I’m not surprised he turned them down.” He put his fork down and bustled around the kitchen, starting the coffee machine, the older type that made an entire pot.
I was bursting with curiosity, needing to know everything about Eliot. What made him think he had to give everything up and didn’t deserve the same from others? “Why aren’t you surprised?”
“Oh, uh…” He returned to his pie. Mine was still untouched. “What do you know about Barns and Birdie?”
“Birdie was his mom’s name?”
He nodded. “I only knew her from around town. She was gone by the time Cody got to high school. But Roxie, my wife, would chat with her occasionally. And she was always complaining. Barns did this; Barns did that. And I heard talk from other teachers. When the boys would get in trouble, she wasn’t upset with them like you’d think. She was more like insulting.”
“Oh no.”
He bobbed his head. “A gal Roxie’s friends with had Eliot in first grade.” He screwed his face up. “That was shortly before Birdie left. Eliot got into a snowball fight on the playground. What boy doesn’t?” He got quiet. “Roxie’s friend was so upset after she talked to Birdie. ‘Just another disappointment, like the rest of them.’ That’s what his mom said.”
Horror passed through me, curdling in my gut. I would never say that about my kids. “That’s awful.”
“It wasn’t the first or last time this teacher heard things from Birdie about the boys. Horrible things. Can you imagine thinking that about your kids, much less speaking it?” He shrugged. “Now, my daughter’s husband, maybe.”
My laugh broke the heaviness. Eliot was always doing what he thought was the right thing by the people he cared about. He was that little boy trying to please his mom.
Heat prickled the backs of my eyes. Chambers was right. Eliot went out of his way to keep from disappointing his family, even if it meant staying away.
“Birdie always thought she was too good for Buffalo Gully and for the ranch life.” He chuffed. “Too good for Montana. Definitely for being a mom. I can’t believe how well-adjusted all those kids turned out.”
“Eliot’s a decent man.” I took a bite of pie. Sweetness burst over my tongue, but I couldn’t appreciate it. Would Eliot continue to plan for a divorce because he thought it was best for me?
Hadn’t I thought the same? Or was I just another person leaving him to do what he thought was the right thing at the cost of his happiness?
“He’s had a pep in his step since you came into his life.”
I smiled and dug into my dessert, suddenly self-conscious. “I like him.”
“A lot of wives can’t make the same claim.”
We laughed and ate our pie. I heard a vehicle pull up. “That must be Jasper.”
He went to the kitchen window and peered outside. “Looks like he’s taking the kids down to the barns.”
“I’ll never get Cali home.”
I was tempted to run out and greet my kids, but I also wanted them to have the freedom to explore. I’d done that a lot yesterday. Wandering around the ranch brought back memories from Grandma’s place.
The weather was cool, bordering on cold. Jasper and the kids wouldn’t be long. Then it’d be time to go. And I’d be back to wondering when I would see Eliot again.
Eliot
After Lily and the kids left, I ran inside for a bite to eat. A meal would take my mind off how I loved seeing Cali’s awe over the ranch and how much Kellan had grown. Chambers hadn’t left, and while I always appreciated his presence, I was even more grateful for the noise he was making in the kitchen. Then the place wasn’t so quiet.
Chambers was having the last piece of pie. He’d set one out for me by my normal spot at the island. A pile of pie-smeared dishes was next to the sink. Everyone else must’ve gotten a slice.
I slid into my chair. “Tell Roxie thanks.” I cut off a big hunk and stuffed a forkful into my mouth. My bleak long weekend of sandwiches had turned into some damn good food. Instead of me making pancakes, Lily had gotten up and made me breakfast burritos I could take with me to eat.
“You’ll never believe it. I made this one.”
I stopped chewing. Damn. It was good, but I didn’t know Chambers knew how to do anything more than make coffee and eat pie.
He chuckled and licked off his fork. “I have to use a store-bought crust. Can never be patient enough to roll out dough. I’m irate as soon as I get a tear. I want to eat, not patchwork my dough.”
Grinning, I finished my slice.
He put his dishes in the sink but didn’t leave. “When you going to Crocus Valley next?”
“I told Lily I’d see how the weather is. Cali wants me there for Christmas, but Jasper mentioned his parents might visit the kids so she doesn’t have to haul them again.”
He watched me with a look from the days I’d been his student, one that said wrong answer .
I pushed my plate to the side. “I don’t know what else to tell ya.”
“I dunno. Maybe ‘I’m going down Christmas Eve so I can see the kids open presents Christmas morning.’ Or how about ‘I’m going to for sure ring in the New Year with my wife’?”
My chest ached to do all that, but I was considering the future. How quiet would next Christmas be? Would I sit on the fringes while my relatives celebrated? “Christmas is my holiday to work.”
“Too bad you messed up the holiday rotation, but maybe someone will switch with you.” His tone was challenging.
I scowled at him and pushed away from the island. I took my plate to the dishwasher and loaded all the other dirty plates and forks inside. “Holidays are important for family.”
“They used to be important to you.”
“Why are you here?” I straightened and used my heel to shut the dishwasher door. “It’s Sunday and you were supposed to be with your family.”
His gaze was measured. “The kids left this morning, and I didn’t like the thought of you being alone. And I wanted to show off my pie.”
Didn’t I feel like shit now? “You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Lily spent the whole weekend, huh?”
The subject change made my mind spin and cranked up my irritation. “Yes. It was nice.”
“More than nice, I imagine.”
That it was. Goddamn perfect, except for worrying how bored and abandoned she’d felt inside the house. I’d run back as often as possible.
I’m a prisoner here. Mom’s breathy, dramatic voice had echoed in my head all weekend. I’d tried to make up for it when I could with Lily. Usually, with orgasms. And a generous use of condoms because I was better than my father.
“You could have it every day, Eliot,” Chambers said.
“Stay out of it, Chambers.” I marched out of the kitchen. “Have a good night.”
A tiny thread of guilt still clung to me. I joked around with Chambers, but I wasn’t usually a prick. “Good pie,” I called behind me.
Lily would have her family around on Christmas. I had missed the kids since I was in Crocus Valley last. The little visit I got today wasn’t enough, but maybe I should keep my distance. I should find a random weekend so they didn’t associate me with holidays. I didn’t want our eventual parting to be hard on them. Kellan might not remember me, but Cali would. I’d have to have a good talk with her.
I had seven months yet.
The pie turned into an iron anvil in my stomach.
In the garage, my phone started vibrating. I answered without checking. “Knight.”
“Knight.”
I rolled my eyes. “Austen.”
“You’re a new uncle. Fifth time this year.”
My previous dark mood immediately lifted. “Hey, man. Congrats. Vienne and baby doing okay?”
“They’re both perfect. Catherine can barely be contained. I think we’re going to have to fight her to hold Francine.”
“Francine?”
“Yeah.” He couldn’t sound prouder. “Catherine insisted she needed a fancy name, and she had several options for us to choose from.”
“I can’t wait to meet her.”
“Coming out for Christmas?”
He would be with his wife and new baby. Sutton and Wilder had the twins. Both Cody and Aggie respectively, had newborns. What could I do for them? Lily would have her family. It was better that I keep my own routine. If her aunt was around for Christmas, I had a legitimate reason. “I gotta work.”
“Didn’t you work all Thanksgiving? I assumed you switched with someone.”
I had let them all assume that. Otherwise, they’d be butting into my business. “We’ll have to see what the weather has in store.”
“That’s a cop-out. You have two other nephews to meet.”
I did. Another helping of guilt was heaped on my conscience. I was struggling to be a decent real-but-pretend husband and stepfather, but I was slipping as an uncle. “I’m waiting for newborn life to settle down.”
Austen snorted. “That’s the quiet time. Life with Catherine is crazy busy, and she’s almost legally an adult now.”
I was happy for him. I was. But I had work to do. “I can let you know?—”
“Christmas.”
“What?”
“We’re all home for Christmas. All the babies are birthed. Aggie said she can’t wait for Cutter to meet all of his uncles. I do believe Tova said something similar about Teddy.”
And guilt was roaring back. I was being a shitty uncle. “Fine. I’ll see what I can do around Christmas. But I have to make sure it’s okay with Lily first. I can’t just show up and play husband when I want to.”
A high-pitched cry came over the line. “Oh—gotta run. Christmas, bro. We’re going to plan something for the day.”
“It might not be on Christmas?—”
He hung up. Dammit.
Christmas. I’d need to get to Miles City and find some toys. Though from the way Cali fangirled over the horses, she’d love all the little plastic ponies from the hardware store.
What’d I get a six-month-old baby?
What’d I get a wife I was divorcing at the beginning of July?
All I’d gotten her was a cheap silicone ring.
I scratched the back of my neck. I’d figure it out. Then I’d go be a proper uncle and husband for a few days.