Five
T HAT WEEK, I GET EVEN more overtime because a now-and-then client is out of town for the week and her husky needs a long walk every day.
The owner normally takes Sasha for a three-mile run every evening, so a nominal walk won’t work. I don’t like running, but I can walk for long distances, so at seven in the evenings I add a four-mile walk for Sasha to my regular routine.
It’s a lot. When combined with all the walking I do for the normal clients, I’m exhausted when I’m finally done for the day. But I’ll never say no to overtime pay.
And I’m not exactly sad about having a viable excuse for avoiding Dan for a little while.
I see him in passing most mornings, but we don’t have to hang out in the evenings this week because of the extra walk. It’s a relief.
Distance is the only cure for all those flutters I’ve been feeling.
He calls to check in at least once a day, and he doesn’t complain about my busy schedule. I’m thinking I’m going to get a weeklong reprieve from dealing with the weird feelings when on Thursday around lunch Dan calls and asks if he can join me tonight for Sasha’s walk.
I’m surprised. Taken aback. I hesitate, grappling mentally for an appropriate response.
As if he knows I’m searching for an excuse, he adds quietly, “People are wondering why we just got engaged but haven’t seen each other all week.”
Of course they are. It’s fine for me because I don’t have a large social circle here who would be curious about such anomalies. But Dan does.
I’m going to get paid a hundred thousand dollars for this, and hanging out with him is part of the job.
“Oh. Yeah. Sorry. That makes sense. Sure you can come.” I sound mostly natural. Not reluctant or confused.
He must hear something in my tone anyway. “Is anything wrong?”
“No. No, of course not. I’m just tired. It’s been a long week. But of course you can come with me. I usually pick up the trail behind the library since that’s close to where the owner lives, so we can meet there around seven if you want?”
“That sounds great. I’ll be there.”
“I usually walk about four miles.”
He chuckles. “No matter how much it will tax my reserves, I’m sure I can manage to tough it out.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“I know. I’m teasing. The weather is supposed to be great today, so I’m looking forward to it.”
“Okay. I’ll see you then.”
And that was it. I’ll have to take a walk with Dan.
I really shouldn’t be so excited about it.
***
G REEN VALLEY HAS A well-kept, paved walking and biking trail that winds all the way through and around town. It’s the best way to have a long, comfortable walk without circling endlessly in the park.
Later that day, I go to Sasha’s house and, after greeting and feeding her, get her lead on and head for the main branch of the public library a couple of blocks away.
Instinctively, as I get closer, I glance down at myself to make sure I don’t look too bad. I’m wearing cotton shorts that show a lot of leg with a white T-shirt with my college logo across the front and my regular walking shoes. My hair is pulled into my normal ponytail, and I’ve got sunglasses on because we’ll be walking right into the setting sun for part of the way.
No one can accuse me of dressing up for this outing, but I still hope I don’t look too bad. My legs are pretty good. Maybe Dan will notice them.
And maybe it doesn’t matter at all if he does.
When I reach the parking lot behind the library, the first thing I see is Dan. He’s dressed in gym shorts and a T-shirt. He looks bigger than normal for some reason. I can’t help but take a look at his toned, tanned legs and arms. His hair glints almost gold in the sun.
I can’t tell if he checks out my appearance because he’s wearing sunglasses like I am. He’s grinning as I approach, but instead of speaking to me, he introduces himself quite seriously to Sasha.
Sasha is a well-trained dog. She sits on command and offers him her paw when he extends his hand. She pants ecstatically at the attention but then gets distracted by the sight of the trail nearby.
She spins a quick circle as we start to walk.
“She’s used to running,” I explain as I set a fairly fast pace. “So I try to walk as fast as I can.”
“That’s no problem.” He falls into step with me easily. His legs are a lot longer than mine. “We can even run if you want.”
“Nah, I hate running. I always have. I can walk forever, but please don’t ask me to run.”
That makes him laugh. “Why is that?”
“I have no idea. But I’ve always hated it. Ever since I was a kid. Do you run?”
“Not if I can help it. I’m actually not all that fond of exercise, if you want to know the truth.”
I look up and down his body. “You’re in decent shape.”
“Yeah. I used to play soccer a lot. In school and all through college. Exercise was always better for me if there was a purpose involved. But years of soccer kept me in decent shape, and then after college I’ve made myself go to the gym at least four times a week. I hate it, but I make myself do it anyway.”
I frown, thinking about what he’s said. “Maybe there’s some sort of community soccer league you could join.”
“I’ve looked, and I couldn’t find anything within a reasonable distance. So gym it is.” He makes a face. “It’s so incredibly boring.”
“Yeah, I’ve never been a fan of the gym myself. I’d go sometimes in college, but I always preferred walking outside where I can actually see things. But lately I get so much exercise with my job that I don’t need anything extra.”
“I wouldn’t think so.” He looks at me, and this time his top-to-bottom scan of my body is obvious. “You’re in great shape.”
“Thanks.” I’m self-conscious about the compliment, so I fall into silence for a while, holding Sasha back from the sprint she obviously wants to launch into.
After a few minutes, he asks me about my day, and I tell him and then ask him about his. He tells me a couple of funny stories about an obnoxious coworker he’s stuck with and then tells me that his parents invited me over for a cookout this coming weekend.
I’m not too thrilled about meeting his parents. It feels like it’s going to make things more complicated. Since our relationship isn’t real, there isn’t any reason to get too entangled with each other. But before I can verbalize my immediate discomfort, I reason myself out of it.
Of course, if Dan and I are engaged, I would attend the occasional function at his parents’. And I would be completely unreasonable to object.
“Sure,” I manage to say in a somewhat casual tone. “That would be fine.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to?” I’m glad I’m wearing sunglasses so he can’t see that my eyes are restless.
“I don’t know,” he says slowly. “But it seems like you don’t.”
“Well, you’re wrong. I’m perfectly happy to come. Just let me know the details.”
We’re silent for a few minutes, both of us focusing on Sasha, who’s clearly on a mission to be the absolute best walker of all the dogs on the trail.
Finally Dan asks, “So you’re still okay with everything?”
“With what?”
“With our plan. With this weird situation. It’s still okay with you?”
“Yes. It’s totally fine.” I’m honestly surprised, so it’s not hard to convey the feeling. “I definitely still want to do this.”
“Okay. Good.”
His silence this time is thoughtful, reflective. I have no idea what he’s thinking about, but I know for sure it’s about me.
We walk for a couple of miles before we turn around to head back, sometimes in silence and sometimes making small talk. Right as we turn, a daring squirrel darts across the trail from one tree to another, clearly thinking it was safe because we’d just passed by.
Startled by that disrespect and intrusion, Sasha’s instincts overtake her training. She barks sharply and lunges toward the squirrel. Hard.
I squeal in surprise as the lead yanks painfully on my arm and shoulder, and I have to run a few steps with Sasha before I can tug back and bite out a loud command.
Sasha is halfway up the tree by then, snapping only a few inches from the end of the squirrel’s fluffy tail. At my second command, the dog finally retreats, coming back to me reluctantly and giving me an extended awoo that clearly communicates that she’s sorry she didn’t walk as perfectly as normal, but she can’t be blamed for it because the squirrel so wickedly dashed out right in front of her and what could any dog be expected to do in such vexing circumstances.
By the end of Sasha’s indignant yowl, Dan is doubled over in helpless laughter. I’m having trouble not giggling myself, but I keep a straight face so I can convey appropriate authority to the dog.
Subdued, Sasha falls back into her good-dog stance. I switch the lead to my left arm so I can roll my right shoulder.
“Did she hurt you?” Dan asks, his hilarity subsiding as he notices my gesture.
“Not really. Just yanked my shoulder. It’s fine.”
“You want me to hold her for a while?”
“No, it’s fine. She’s used to me. She didn’t do any damage. She’s just usually so good that I wasn’t expecting it. It was my mistake.”
“Okay.” He glances over at me a few more times but thankfully doesn’t push it. We make it back the rest of the way without further incident, and Dan walks with me as I bring Sasha back home, give her a treat and some water, get her settled, and say good night.
He’s still walking with me as I leave the house.
When I glance over at him questioningly, he asks, “What do you need to do now?”
“Nothing. Just sign out of work over text.”
He waits as I pull my phone out to do just that.
I’m expecting him to return to his car in the library parking lot, but he doesn’t.
“I’m parked behind Lock-N-Leash,” I finally say.
“Okay. I’ll walk with you.”
I want to groan, but of course I don’t. That would be incredibly rude. And it’s not his fault that I’m so uncomfortable about my responses to him.
The last thing I should do is blame him for how I’m feeling right now.
Like I might actually jump out of my skin.
As we’re walking past the coffee shop, I notice people inside and glance at my phone to check the time since it feels too late for them to be open.
“They don’t close until nine,” Dan says. “We’ve got twenty minutes. I’ll buy you one of those iced green teas.”
I might have refused the suggestion, given my mood, but twenty minutes is such a short period of time and I am thirsty. Plus I don’t want to act too standoffish since Dan hasn’t been anything but nice to me. “Okay. Thanks. That sounds good.”
He appears pleased but faintly surprised by my agreement, and he holds the door open for me to go in.
There are only a few customers remaining. A middle-aged couple in one corner and Paige working on her computer on the other side. Chase is mopping the floor, but he stops when he sees us and moves around the counter to take our order with a lazy grin.
Dan gets a green tea too, which surprises me because I’ve never seen him drink it before. Then we sit at the table with Paige and chat for fifteen minutes as the older couple leaves and Chase finishes cleaning up before closing for the night.
We all leave together and say goodbye before Chase and Paige start walking the opposite way, holding hands.
They’re cute. So obviously in love but not over the top or obnoxiously sappy about it.
Despite all my dreams of independence and self-sufficiency, I would love to be part of a relationship like that.
When I first met Rick, I thought I’d found it. But I was horribly, painfully wrong about that.
“You okay?” Dan asks softly, his eyes on my face.
I turn back to him quickly, forcing a smile. “Of course.”
He narrows his eyes in a skeptical expression but doesn’t argue.
“Thanks for the drink,” I say, shaking off my reflections. “My car is just a block away, so you can head back to yours if—”
His frown deepens, but he still doesn’t say anything. Just falls into step with me as I start to walk.
With a sigh, I resign myself to the fact that he’s committed himself to escorting me to my car and there’s no dissuading him from doing so.
It’s not like it matters that much anyway.
We make our way in silence until we reach the parking lot where I left my car. The lot is always full during the day, but it’s completely empty right now except my small, ten-year-old Ford sedan.
“I had a good time,” Dan says. “Can I join you tomorrow too?”
I hesitate, momentarily stumped by the unexpected question.
His eyebrows lower. “You don’t want me to?”
“N-no. It’s fine. If you really want. It’s just not necessary.”
“Necessary for what?” We’ve reached my car now—both standing near the driver’s side door—and he’s got his head tilted down, peering at me.
“Necessary for... for our plan.”
“You don’t think it would make sense for an engaged couple to spend a Friday evening together?”
“Well, yeah. I guess that would make sense.” I keep darting glances up toward him, my excited jitters growing more and more intense as his expression changes.
He was frowning before, but now he’s not. He looks like he’s smiling without lifting the corners of his mouth. And it’s not a normal amused smile. It’s intimate. Almost tender.
It makes me gulp as I try to restrain a rush of pleasure.
He looks like he wants to kiss me again, and that’s exactly what I want too.
“Okay then. We’ll walk Sasha again tomorrow. Then we can do something afterward if we want.”
“L-like what?”
“Like anything we feel like.”
“O...kay.”
“Okay.”
I clear my throat, no longer daring to look up at him for fear of what I might do.
“Vicky.” His voice is just a little bit thick.
The sound of it terrifies me. I take an awkward step back.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
I try not to be an unreasonable person. I try to avoid conflict and stay out of other people’s way. But occasionally something strikes me in a particular way—like it’s piercing into the soft heart of me with dangerous accuracy—and I can’t help but rile up in automatic defense. Even knowing my defensiveness isn’t entirely irrational, it’s necessary. Necessary .
That’s exactly how I feel right now. I snap my head back up to glare at him. “I’m not doing anything. What are you doing?”
“What is going on here?” For the first time since I’ve known him, he looks genuinely annoyed. Almost angry. “Why are you mad at me?”
“I’m not mad at you!”
He makes a choking sound.
“I’m not mad,” I repeat. “I’m indignant. There’s a difference.”
“What exactly is the difference?”
“Mad makes it seem like there’s no reason for it. I’m indignant because we agreed to keep this professional.”
“I know what we agreed.” He’s gruff and stiff and more grumpy than fiery. “I haven’t done anything inappropriate. I haven’t even touched you.”
“I know that. But you look... you look... you look...”
“I look like what?” He’s breathing heavily. His shoulders are rising and falling. He feels hot—so hot I can feel it radiating off him from several inches away.
“You weren’t looking professional.”
He groans and rubs at his hair. “What the hell, Vicky? I’m doing the best I can. You said you wanted to keep it professional, so I’m not ever going to make a move on you. But how the hell am I supposed to control how I look?”
I can’t believe we’re actually arguing about this. It’s like a surreal hot haze has completely consumed me. “You can stop thinking about it.”
“How am I supposed to stop? Seriously. Tell me how to do it, and I will.” The words burst out of him. I’ve never seen or heard him so passionate. “Because I’m trying. I get it. You agreed to do this crazy thing with me, but you want to maintain your boundaries. It makes sense. It’s a lot safer and smarter. So I’ll respect your boundaries and I’ll keep my hands to myself, but I can’t keep from wanting what I want.”
I gape up at him breathlessly. “What you... you want?”
“Yes! What do you think is going on here? From the very first time I saw you, I wanted to get to know you. And the more time I spend with you, the more I want. You’re the most fascinating, beautiful, challenging, sexy, stubborn, sensitive, infuriating woman I’ve ever met in my life. How the hell am I supposed to stop wanting you? Tell me, and I promise I’ll do it.”
He’s flushed. His face is slightly damp with perspiration. He’s still panting loudly, and his eyes are like silver-gray flames.
And I want him.
Desperately.
I’ve been aroused before. Plenty of times. But I’ve never believed those scenes in books and movies where people are suddenly, uncontrollably overwhelmed by animal lust. It’s never happened to me before. Not even close.
But it does right now.
And this pure want isn’t simply physical. It’s emotional. It’s everything . I want him. All of him. Like I’ll literally starve to death if I don’t have him.
Right now. This very moment.
I suppose I could have stopped myself if I’d forced my mind to do it, but nothing inside me wants to stop. So I launch myself at him. Grab him around the neck and use the leverage to pull myself up enough to reach his mouth.
I kiss him hard and eager and hungry. Entirely shameless.
For a moment, he holds himself still, obviously taken by surprise. Then something suddenly comes alive inside him. He grabs my head with both hands. Leans down farther into the kiss. Starts moving his lips against mine urgently and then his tongue.
He makes a hungry sound into the kiss, and he moves one arm down to wrap around me, easing me more fully against his body.
He’s tense and hot and vibrating with feeling. Hard.
Getting harder as we kiss.
When he finally breaks the kiss, I can’t stand the distance, so I keep running my mouth along the line of his jaw.
“Damn,” he mutters with a gasp. “Talk about mixed signals.”
The wry note in his tone makes me giggle helplessly, even as I keep kissing him. “They were mixed before because I was confused, but I’m not right now. Signals are all green.”
He gives a raspy chuckle as he pulls the elastic out of my ponytail and then runs his fingers through my loose hair. “That’s good to hear. And I’ll be the first to admit I’m about to lose it right now since it feels like all my dreams are about to come true. But first. Seriously. If this is just a random impulse and you’re going to hate yourself and me tomorrow morning, then I’d rather stop right now.”
“It’s not random,” I tell him, speaking nothing but the truth. I manage to stop kissing him long enough to meet his eyes. “I’ve wanted this from almost the very beginning too.”
He groans in obvious relief and pulls me up into another kiss. This one has no interruptions. We’re all over each other, leaning against the side of the car. I’m rubbing my breasts and hips against his lean, firm body, focused on the front of his shorts where there’s now an obvious bulge.
We’ve both been exercising, and we haven’t showered. Maybe it’s weird and gross to be so turned on and not even mind that he’s still a little sweaty and doesn’t smell entirely fresh.
But for some reason that makes my desire even more intense. Visceral. Almost primal.
Despite his charm and intelligence and innate respect for other people, he’s basely human. Man .
And he wants to claim me as much as I want to be claimed.
It’s an entirely new sensation for me, and I don’t let myself second-guess it. My hands are moving all over his body, feeling his lean back and tight ass and the rippling muscles in his thighs.
He’s cupping my ass, holding me in place against his body as his tongue moves deep in my mouth and his hips rock rhythmically into me.
I’m so turned on now that I’m pulsing achingly between my legs, and it feels like my skin might be on fire all over my body.
“We can go back to my place if you want,” Dan finally mutters with a lot of gravel in his voice.
I groan and kiss his neck, sucking on his pulse point. “That will take way too long. I can’t wait that long.”
“Okay.” He arches his neck as I apply more pressure with my mouth. “Damn, you’re going to kill me before the end of this, aren’t you?”
“I’ll try not to.” I lift my face and hook my hands around his neck, rubbing against the hard bulge in his shorts again. “But seriously I can’t wait to go to your place.”
Dan glances behind him. “I guess there’s always your back seat? Would that be too crass?”
“Crass is totally fine with me right now. It’s going to have to be the back seat.” I fumble until I can unlock the car. Dan opens the door and I climb in, scooting out of my shorts and panties as I move.
Dan climbs in too, shutting the door behind him and then moving over me.
It’s dark once the interior light in the car goes off. There’s no one around. No streetlights. Just me and Dan in the back of a car.
He’s about to kiss me again when he suddenly rears up. “Shit, I don’t have—”
“I’m on birth control,” I tell him.
“Yeah? So it’s okay if we—”
“It’s okay. We’re definitely doing this.” I pull him down into another urgent kiss, and it’s better than anything. Hot and sweaty and slightly cramped and deeply intense and the sexiest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
The kiss lasts a long time. I end up wrapping my legs around his hips and squeezing him between them, so out of control that I keep making a humping motion against him, whimpering against his mouth because everything feels so good and frantic and needed.
Then he finally breaks the kiss and stares down at me, breathing thickly. “You ready for this? Because I’m not sure I can last much longer.”
“I’m ready. Please, Dan. Please!” I can’t help but squirm beneath him and even more when he moves a hand down to feel between my legs.
He explores for a minute and then slides two fingers all the way inside me, spilling the moisture there and pumping them deliciously until I’m on the verge of coming.
Then he presses into my clit with his thumb, and an orgasm breaks hard and fast. I shake helplessly as the pleasure moves through me and have to bite my bottom lip to stifle the loud sound of release.
Then he’s pushing down his shorts and pulling out his erection. I try to look at it between our bodies, but I can’t get a very good view because of the close quarters and the low lighting.
But he feels good. Firm and thick and exactly right as he lines himself up at my entrance and slowly starts pushing in.
His face contorts as the penetration deepens. Something shudders inside him as he holds himself almost still.
He’s trying not to lose it, I realize with a thrill. He’s so into this he’s worried he’s going to come too soon.
I part my thighs wider and hook my heels around his legs to make the position easier. He groans out loud as he sinks in all the way.
“Dan,” I breathe, breathless and stretched and so full of sensation that it feels like my head might explode.
“Yes,” he grunts, pulling back and pushing forward in a tight, little thrust. “Damn, you feel so good.”
“Dan,” I say again, this time in almost a whimper. Despite my orgasm just a minute ago, my body is already craving more. I need it desperately. I can hardly stay still. I roll my hips.
“Yes,” he hisses and then starts to thrust for real. He begins steady and slow, but the restrained pace doesn’t last very long. I keep bucking my hips to meet his pushes and eagerly urge him to take me harder and faster.
He does. Soon he’s fucking me so vigorously my body is jiggling and the car is rocking slightly. It would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so incredibly hot.
I’m matching his motion with shameless enthusiasm and clawing lines down his back beneath his shirt. I’ve given up trying to restrain my vocal responses, so I’m huffing and grunting and making silly sobbing sounds as I get closer to the edge.
Then I’m finally there. I cry out loudly as my body erupts with another climax.
Dan lets out a hoarse exclamation as my inner muscles clamp down around him and my legs squeeze him tightly. Trapped in place, he pushes hard a few last times and then comes himself with a loud wordless sound, releasing himself in several jerky spurts until we both work through the final tremors.
We lie like that, panting desperately and tangled messily together for a couple of minutes. Then he lifts his head and stares down at me.
I give him a little smile because I can see very clearly he’s checking to see if I’ve already changed my mind and am regretting it.
He relaxes and smiles back. “You feel okay?”
“Oh yeah. I feel pretty damn good.”
His smile widens. “Me too. I’ve never lost control like that before.”
“Me either. I actually never believed people got suddenly overwhelmed in that way. Who knew?”
He chuckles and gently eases himself off me, slipping out of me and then pulling back up his underwear and shorts.
I sit up and reach down to slide back on my panties and shorts. I never did take off my socks and shoes. I’m wet and sloppy between my legs, but I’ve got nothing back here to clean myself up with.
Dan gives me a quick, sidelong glance as he finishes straightening his clothes. “So...”
“So.”
“Where do we go from here?”
I know what he’s asking. Exactly what he’s asking.
And I have no answer for him.
With no choice but to tell him the truth, I admit, “Honestly, I don’t know. This happened so suddenly. I don’t regret it. I promise I don’t. But I don’t... I don’t know...”
He nods, letting out a long breath. He doesn’t look disappointed or annoyed or impatient. Mostly just understanding and slightly resigned. “I get it. Completely. Why don’t we just leave it alone for right now? We’ll keep on with our original plan. No pressure. And if we want to have sex again, then we can.”
I peer at him, searching for any sign of resentment or reluctance. There is none.
He’s really an incredible guy.
I smile at him and reach out to touch his arm. “Okay. That sounds good to me. Thanks.”
He grins. “Thank you. You’re good to drive home?”
“Yeah. I’m good.” I find the energy to climb out of the car and walk around to the driver’s seat. By that point, Dan has gotten out too. He stands beside the door as I get in.
“Have a good night, Vicky. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
For no good reason, I blush. “Okay. See you then. Have a good night too.”
It takes some effort, but I manage to get it together enough to start the car and pull out of the parking spot.
Dan is standing and watching as I drive away.