30. Chapter 30
A s his carriage drove away from Gracechurch Street, Darcy thought back on the evening.
From the moment he greeted Elizabeth, things were very awkward between them, nothing like the easy, comfortable interactions he was used to having with her.
She had been extremely quiet, and he wondered what was at the root of it.
When he arrived home, he was still no closer to the answer. He changed out of his evening wear, then went back downstairs to his study. Almost as soon as he entered, Fitz also appeared.
"Hello, Darcy."
"Fitz."
"Brandon said you had just returned home," Fitz said, walking straight to the brandy decanter.
"Yes, I have not been here long at all," Darcy replied, eyeing his cousin with a raised brow. "How was your evening?"
"Interminable."
"Indeed?" Darcy asked.
Fitz grunted a response, then poured two glasses. He handed one to Darcy, then sank into a chair.
Darcy sipped his drink, then looked at his cousin. "Was tonight that event you were required to attend with the earl and countess?"
Fitz nodded tiredly. "Mother assured me that she had put the word out weeks ago about not only my courtship but yours as well. Do you think this well-known fact that I am now courting a young woman served to deter the debutantes?"
"I would imagine not."
"You would be correct. It especially did not deter the likes of Lady Daphne or Miss Simmons," Fitz said, taking a large swallow of his drink.
Darcy shook his head.
"I am glad that Miss Lydia has been found," Fitz said. "Hopefully, things will calm soon and by the time the next required event comes around, Jane will be able to attend with me."
"I shall be glad when things calm as well," Darcy said, his gaze on the fire.
"Was there a tense atmosphere this evening?" Fitz asked.
"No, but there was definitely something bothering Elizabeth. She was not herself."
"Was she perhaps not feeling well?"
"I asked her if that was the case, but she assured me that she was well. She was very quiet. And not just with me, but quiet in general. So as not to pressure her, I spoke mostly with her father and uncle during dinner. However, it did not escape my notice that she ate very little."
"I am sure things are not exactly peaceful in the family, especially with Miss Lydia in residence," Fitz said.
"I had also suspected as much, and I asked Elizabeth about it. She confirmed that Miss Lydia was being difficult, but she did not elaborate. It is unlike her to not be open with me."
"Well, you know they are embarrassed about this whole affair. I have observed it myself."
"Yes, I know they are. I just—" Darcy paused a moment. "I cannot help but feel that whatever is going on with Elizabeth, it is more than that, more than just embarrassment."
Darcy wanted her to feel free to tell him anything. He wanted her to trust him completely. He thought she did. He was ready to move things forward between them, but this felt like they were going backwards.
"You are the one who knows her, cousin," Fitz said, holding Darcy's gaze. "If you are sensing there is more to it, then you must find out what it is."
Not only was Darcy going to do just that, he was going to do it immediately.
The next morning, Darcy sat in his study for some time, thinking about what he would say to Elizabeth.
When the time came for him to leave, Darcy went to the safe and unlocked it.
His eyes fell on a small black velvet box.
He opened it, and a soft smile came to his lips as he admired what was nestled inside.
After a few moments, he closed the box and placed it in his pocket.
He then locked the safe and prepared to depart.
Darcy had sent a note to Gardiner earlier explaining that he needed to talk with Elizabeth about a misunderstanding between them, and he requested to be able to do so in privacy. He also requested that she not be alerted to his coming.
When he arrived, Fletcher greeted Darcy and allowed him to proceed through the house on his own.
Darcy walked into the Gardiners' drawing room and found Elizabeth alone with her embroidery. At first, she did not notice his presence. But when he came closer, she looked up.
"Fitzwilliam!" She stood, her surprise evident.
"Good morning, Elizabeth." He smiled at her and kissed her hand. "How are you?"
"I am well." She returned his smile and invited him to sit beside her. "How are you this morning?"
"I am well, but I believe that, once again, you and I have some things that we need to discuss."
Her smile faded and her eyes widened slightly as she regarded him. "What do you mean?"
He took both her hands in his. "Elizabeth, please tell me what is troubling you."
She looked down at their joined hands and said not a word for long moments.
Finally, she spoke. “Lydia has proven herself to be so brazen and unconcerned about what is proper and respectable. I apologize for exposing you and your sister to such impropriety. I realize the situation could have easily spun out of control and caused embarrassment to you and your family. I would never have forgiven myself should that have happened.”
As she spoke, Elizabeth only met his eyes once, very briefly.
For the most part, her gaze did not rise much higher than his chin.
And now she had lowered her head again. Darcy looked at her chestnut curls and what little he could see of her face.
He hated that she felt responsible for her sister's conduct.
Miss Lydia was indeed shockingly lacking in principles, but the fault lay with her parents, not Elizabeth.
"Thank you, Elizabeth," he said gently. "I appreciate your concern for my family."
Darcy wondered what else was on her heart. He remained quiet, hoping she would reveal more to him.
Elizabeth knew she could no longer ignore reality.
She had thought her own words and actions were what defined her, but that was only true up to a point.
Her family also had the power to define her when they courted scandal the way Lydia had.
It was time to stop pretending that she could avoid being lumped in together with them.
It was also time to bare her soul to the man she loved.
He had given her so much of himself. He deserved to know the truth about her deepest fears and shame.
She raised her eyes to his. "I have tried for so long to stand apart from my family, but clearly I cannot.
I always feared no gentleman of worth would take the trouble to see my own worth because of my family.
But you did take the trouble. You were willing to see past everything.
The day you told me of your feelings, I treasured every word you said, but I also feared that one day my family would cause you to think less of me.
I cannot bear to lose your respect, Fitzwilliam.
And with my family teetering on the brink of ruin, I do not feel I have a right to hold you to the promises you have made me. "
“Elizabeth, you will never lose my respect.
I greatly esteem you," he declared, cupping her cheek. "It does not matter what your family does because I see you, Elizabeth. From the beginning of our acquaintance, I have seen you. Your family has never obscured your worth or how brightly you shine. And should your sister’s behavior become known, you and I will face it together.”
Tears welled up in her eyes and began to fall.
“Are you sure, Fitzwilliam?” Elizabeth asked with a watery voice. It felt as if she had a lump in her throat that was making it difficult to speak.
He took out his handkerchief and wiped her tears.
“I am absolutely sure. I would never part with you over something like this. I love you, Elizabeth,” he said with certainty in every word.
She thought her heart might burst at his declaration. “I love you. I love you so much. I was so worried that my family would ruin everything between us.”
"No. No, my love. I will not allow anything to come between us, not even your family! My love for you is an ever-fixèd mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken," he said, looking into her eyes.
Hearing him assure her of his love by quoting her favorite sonnet melted Elizabeth's heart and caused more tears to fall.
“Oh, Fitzwilliam!” Elizabeth said, fresh tears making it difficult to see him clearly.
"The best thing I ever did was to allow you to see me too. Keeping myself separate from people was no way to live. And had I continued to do so, I would have missed out on you."
Elizabeth closed her eyes at his words and squeezed his hands in her own.
He wiped her tears again, then lifted her hands to his lips and kissed them. He smiled at her lovingly, then said, “Your uncle may insist on knowing what I have said to make you cry so.”
She laughed. “I shall make certain he finds no fault with you.”
“Thank you,” Fitzwilliam said, giving her another smile. He stood up, then the next thing she knew, he was kneeling before her!
Elizabeth gasped and put her hand to her chest. Her heart was racing. He is going to—!
Fitzwilliam reached for her hand and held it.
“Elizabeth, I never thought I would find someone so perfect for me. Before I met you, I was incomplete, but you have made me whole. I love you more and more each day, and I want to give you my name so that everyone will know you are mine. I promise, your happiness will be my priority. You and I know the recipe for an ideal marriage, do we not?” Fitzwilliam asked with a smile.
Elizabeth laughed. “Yes, we do.”
“You are my everything, Elizabeth. Please, my love, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
Her voice barely above a whisper, she said, "Yes!"
A huge smile appeared on his face. He stood, pulled Elizabeth to her feet, and into his arms. She was overflowing with happiness.
Fitzwilliam loved her! He wanted her to be his wife!
They held each other tightly. It felt so good to be in his arms. With his scent and his warmth surrounding her, Elizabeth was right where she wanted to be.
Pulling back a bit from the embrace, Darcy looked deeply into her eyes. His gaze flickered to her lips. Darcy slid his hand to her nape, then slowly lowered his lips to hers. He kissed her gently, lingeringly. Then, finally, he drew back, keeping her close.
“I shall be thankful every day of my life that I journeyed into Hertfordshire.”
Elizabeth smiled. “So shall I.”
He released her and moved back a step. Without taking his gaze from her, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the velvet box. Elizabeth’s hands flew to her cheeks in surprise. Darcy grinned. When he opened the box, she gasped in delight!
“From the moment I determined to make you mine, I have imagined this ring on your finger,” he said.
“Oh, Fitzwilliam, it is beautiful!”
The ring was made of gold. The center stone was a pale green sapphire that sparkled brilliantly. Small, round diamonds were set slightly below it, circling the gemstone.
Darcy removed it from the box, lifted her hand, and slid the ring on her finger. “It reminds me of your eyes,” he said as he looked admiringly at her.
She looked up at him and smiled.
“You will soon see the Darcy family has quite a collection of jewels and jewelry,” he said, lifting her hand to appreciate the way the ring adorned her finger. “This particular one was my grandmother’s betrothal ring—all the more reason it should now be your betrothal ring.”
“I am honored to wear it,” Elizabeth said.
He raised her hand to his lips.
She gave him a teasing look. “Now that you have sealed things between us with a kiss and a ring, there will be no going back, sir.”
Darcy grinned and stole a quick kiss from her. “Just as I would have it, my love.”
Elizabeth laughed.
Taking her hands in his, Darcy asked, “When would you like to marry, Elizabeth?”
“I am not particular as to when, but I would prefer not to drag it out over months.”
“We are of the same mind on that,” Darcy replied. “What do you think about marrying a month from now?”
“I am not opposed to it, but I think I should consult my aunt for her opinion.”
“Very well. I should go to your uncle,” he said. “I assume your father has already left for Essex?”
“Yes, he has.”
“Then it is a good thing that I have already obtained his consent.”
She gave a small gasp of surprise. "You have?"
He grinned. "I have indeed."
She chuckled, then took his hand and led him to her uncle’s study.
"I am happy to inform you that Elizabeth and I are engaged!" Darcy announced.
Gardiner laughed. “It is curious that you and my niece always seem to take your relationship to the next level after there has been a serious misunderstanding.”
Darcy laughed as well. “Now that you mention it, I do believe we have established a pattern. And it actually goes back further than you think.”
“Is that so?”
“Indeed, all the way back to the early days of our acquaintance,” Darcy replied.
Gardiner shook his head. “I do not doubt it."
"At least this time the conversation was mostly just serious and not so much a misunderstanding."
"Well, that is good to know," Gardiner said with a grin. "I believe you have already obtained her father's consent, have you not?"
“I have.”
“Then let me be the first to congratulate you!” He reached over and shook Darcy’s hand.
“Thank you!” Darcy said with a wide grin.
“I know you realize how special Lizzy is. Treat her well.”
“I will, sir,” he promised.