18. Delaney
CHAPTER 18
DELANEY
D elaney stared at the painting in front of her as though it were the key to all her problems. It depicted a pile of rocks on a mountaintop, framed by the bright colors of a setting sun. To Delaney, it evoked achievement and pride at a life well-lived, which matched what she knew about the painter. It was a beautiful piece, but today it made her sad. Her life hardly felt like it was full of achievements right now.
“Well?” Carmen nudged Delaney’s arm. “What do you think? Should I make an offer?”
Delaney had agreed to a contract with Carmen, which she was still finishing up even though she’d received the money Logan had promised. She could have broken ties with Carmen, but she didn’t want to take a blow to her reputation — and a little extra money couldn’t hurt with a baby on the way.
“I’m not sure,” Delaney told her honestly. “It’s a fine piece, but it doesn’t really mesh with the collection you’ve put together so far. Even if you’re planning to sell it, it’s better to have a niche than a bunch of random artwork. May I ask why you’re interested in this piece?”
“I’m not,” Carmen replied. “But Bitsy has her eye on it, and I can’t lose out to Bitsy. I’m sure you understand.” She nodded, rather unsubtly, at a similarly aged woman in a pink dress with a fur drape.
“Right. You wouldn’t want to be outdone by Bitsy.” Delaney failed to keep the sarcasm out of her voice, but luckily, Carmen didn’t seem to notice.
“No, I certainly wouldn’t. Especially not after she snatched that painting of a duck while you were away. I’m still not pleased about that, by the way. Why did you slip off for another job while we had an open contract, again?”
“I am sorry about that.” Delaney tried to give Carmen an apologetic smile. “I thought it would be only a few days, but there were some unforeseen circumstances.”
“Right.” Carmen didn’t seem interested enough to pry. “Have you heard about the new painting, something about a child? Apparently, some up-and-coming collector found it. It’s supposed to be from some famous Italian painter.”
Delaney tried to keep her expression neutral, but her heart began to race at the mention of Logan and The Cherished Infant.
“I did hear something about that.”
“Well, the collector is having some event next week to show it off. You should come with me. It’s very exclusive, but I want to know if this guy actually has any art to speak of, or if he’s just another poser.”
Delaney didn’t point out that Carmen was at least as much of a poser as Logan was, with the art she bought just to “flip.”
“Unfortunately, I think I’ll be busy that night.”
“Oh, come on. You know this guy. You were talking to him a few weeks ago, I think. Logan Banks?”
“Hmm.” Delaney pretended to be deeply involved in the rocks-and-sunset painting. “I do like the technique here. Maybe it’s worth an investment.”
“Ha. That’ll show Bitsy.” Carmen grinned, and Delaney thought that she might be sufficiently distracted from Logan. She was wrong. “I think this whole event is just a show to get more investors. What do you think?”
“I’m not sure. That isn’t really my realm of expertise.”
“I know, I know.” Carmen waved her hand. “All right, I’ll make an offer on this one. Feel free to look around. I’m just going to have a word with Bitsy.” She flounced off, and Delaney let out a relieved sigh. She was looking forward to the time when she wouldn’t have to deal with clients like Carmen anymore, a time that was coming soon. At least Logan had been trustworthy enough to pay her for the Rome trip. Delaney’s gallery was right around the corner.
Although, lately, her gallery had seemed more and more like a pipe dream. She finally had the money, but she wasn’t sure how she could open a gallery and become a single mother at the same time. Both were the kinds of jobs that took all of one’s time and energy. If Delaney had to choose, she would choose her baby. She still hoped she could find a way to make the gallery happen, but she wasn’t sure it was possible.
It all felt deeply unfair. Logan could go on with his life as usual, while she had to change everything. Delaney had always wanted to be a mother, and whenever she thought of her baby, her heart felt fuller than she could have imagined. Yet the timing was still terrible.
“Delaney?”
Delaney’s heart stopped. The voice was deep and young and sounded just like Logan’s. She whirled, but it wasn’t him.
“Oh, hello.” Her voice was too high. Delaney forced herself to take a deep breath. “Do we know each other?”
“No, not yet. I’m Jonathan Wells. I heard about you from a past client of yours, and I’m looking to expand my art collection. Are you taking on new clients at the moment?”
“Not at the moment, sorry.” Delaney took another breath. “Sorry, I have to go.”
She hurried across the room, into the hallway, and into the bathroom. There, she locked herself in a stall and slumped against the wall. Her heart was still beating too fast. When she’d thought that the man was Logan, she’d been so panicked, yet so… hopeful. She’d hoped that Logan had changed his mind and had come to beg for her forgiveness — and a place in her life.
That was obviously never going to happen.
In an instant, Delaney’s future spooled out before her. Even if she could somehow open a gallery while raising an infant on her own, she’d still be here, in New York City. Where Logan lived. Logan could easily show up to an event, or to her gallery, anytime he wanted. Every time she saw him, or thought she did, she would be upset and full of hope all over again. Every time, she’d feel the sting of rejection all over again.
Worse, what would happen when Delaney’s son (she was sure her child would be a boy) got older? Eventually, he’d begin to ask about his father. He’d want to know why he didn’t have a dad, like all the other kids. What if Logan ran into them then? What if he had a new woman with him? Delaney’s heart began to ache. It was confusing enough for her to even think of running into Logan. It would be much worse for an innocent child.
Delaney felt tears well in her eyes and spill down her cheeks. She raised a hand to wipe them away, but more tears came. This all felt so hopeless.
Over the past weeks since returning from Rome, Delaney had thrown herself into work and preparing for motherhood. She’d spent every free moment either planning for her gallery, reading parenting books, or meeting clients like Carmen to earn a little extra money. All the busyness had helped her forget about Logan and about the way he’d left things. Yet now, alone in the bathroom at yet another glitzy art event, the reality of the situation threatened to overwhelm her.
She could be a single mother, she knew it. She was ready to make any sacrifice she needed to. And, as unlikely as it seemed, maybe she could open her gallery — at least someday. She just wasn’t sure she could do either of those things with the specter of Logan hanging over her head. He could show up anytime. But he wouldn’t. That made things so much worse.
Delaney took a deep breath, splashed water on her face, and exited the bathroom. She smiled politely at the line that had begun to form while she was inside, though she was secretly embarrassed by their judgmental stares, and found Carmen in the midst of the crowd.
“Delaney, just the woman I wanted to see.” Carmen beckoned her over. “Could you?—"
“I’m really sorry.” Delaney smiled apologetically, her hands bunching in the fabric of her dress. “I’m not feeling well. I need to go home.”
“Really? Now?” Carmen frowned. “We barely got here, and?—”
“I’m really sorry,” Delaney repeated. “But I do need to go. Actually, I’m pregnant, and the symptoms are catching up to me.”
“You’re… pregnant?” Carmen’s eyes widened. “Goodness, I didn’t even know you were dating anyone.”
“I’m not.” Delaney knew that Carmen would gossip about this, but she didn’t care. She’d start showing sooner or later. She might as well announce her pregnancy on her own terms. “If you see any art you can’t live without, text a picture of it to me and I’ll look into it tomorrow. Have a nice evening.”
Without waiting for Carmen to reply, Delaney swept out of the gallery. It was time for her to start taking control of her life. She might not be able to get Logan out of her head, but at least she could do this. For tonight, taking control of her life meant going home, putting on her pajamas, and relaxing in bed with a good book, far from the art scene and far from Logan.
So, that’s exactly what she did.
The next day, Delaney woke up feeling just as hopeless as she had the night before. She’d hoped that time to relax and a good night’s sleep would help her overcome her worries about living in the same city as Logan. After all, millions of people lived in New York, plus more tourists passing through every day. Realistically, she wouldn’t see Logan.
Yet she couldn’t get past her worries. She kept imagining running into him — or, worse, not running into him. What if she had their son with her? It all felt like too much. Worried and sad, Delaney reached for her phone and called Cora. Her best friend arrived within an hour, bearing a bag of fresh bagels and an herbal tea for Delaney.
“I paid seven dollars for this, you know,” she said as she set the tea on Delaney’s table. “Seven dollars! For water and a teabag! New York City prices are out of control.”
Then Cora caught sight of Delaney, who was sitting on the bed in her pajamas with her hair in a messy bun.
“Oh, honey.”
“Thanks for coming.” Delaney managed a smile.
“Of course. I’d come anytime.” Cora left the bagels beside the tea and came to sit on the bed with her friend. “What’s going on? Are you feeling worried about the pregnancy?”
“Honestly, despite the timing, that’s the one thing that feels like it’s going right.” Delaney sighed, one hand going absently to her stomach. “I love this child already, and I’ll do anything to be the best mother I can be.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything else from you.” Cora scooted closer. “So, what’s going on, then?”
Before Delaney could reply, her phone dinged with a new message. Delaney flipped it over, hope and nerves surging in her chest, but it was an email. Not an email from Logan. She deflated.
“This is what’s going on.” Delaney held up the phone. “I keep hoping, yet also worrying, that I’ll hear from Logan. Last night, I was an event with a client, and I heard a voice that I thought was his. I almost jumped out of my skin.”
“Are you scared of him?” Cora’s eyes widened. “Because I can beat him up.”
Delaney chuckled despite herself. Cora was tiny and not at all a fighter. “Thank you, but no. I’m not scared of him. As angry as I am, I even understand where he’s coming from. He never wanted to be a father, so he isn’t going to be one now. No, I just keep hoping that he’ll change his mind. And whenever I don’t hear from him, whenever he doesn’t change his mind, it hurts me all over again.”
“I’m so sorry.” Cora took Delaney’s hand. “You know I’m always here for you. I’ll help with anything you need. You do know that, right?”
“I know. I just can’t stop myself from wishing that Logan felt the same way.” Delaney glanced at her phone again. “Sorry, I should check that. It could be from a client.”
“Yeah, go for it. Although I thought you were done with clients, now that you have enough money to start a gallery.”
“I’m almost done. I’m just finishing out a few contracts.” Delaney tapped on the email. She skimmed in, then read it again more slowly. Her heart began to race.
“What is it?” Cora leaned forward. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I haven’t, but this is almost more surprising.” Delaney handed the phone to her friend. “It’s from Marco Vassallo, the collector we met in Rome . After his success selling The Cherished Infant, he’s looking to value and sell the other art left for him by his grandfather.”
“‘Dear Delaney,’” Cora read out loud. “‘Blah blah blah, nice meeting you in Rome… Appreciated your work and your professionalism…’ — That does sound like you, Delaney… ‘Looking for an art consultant such as yourself to help value my other paintings…’ Wait. Delaney. Is he offering you a job?”
“He is.” Delaney nodded, taking the phone back. “See? He says I can start as soon as I want and that he’ll cover visa fees and housing for me. The salary isn’t too shabby, either. This could be just what I need.” Excitement bubbled up in Delaney for the first time since she’d left Rome.
“Okay, okay, hold on.” Cora raised both hands as though she were calming a wild horse. “It’s exciting that you got an offer, but I think you might be missing the fact that this job is in Rome .”
“I’m not missing that.” Delaney got to her feet and began to pace. “That’s what’s so perfect about it! I could get out of New York. There’s much less of a chance that I’ll run into Logan if I live in Rome!”
“Right…” Cora was starting to look worried. Her hands were still raised in the horse-taming position. “But Delaney, you’re pregnant. Is this really the best time to leave your whole support system behind and move to another country where you don’t even speak the language?”
“They have hospitals in Italy. And babysitters, and Italian classes. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay… And just to point this out, you’ve always wanted to open a gallery, not become a personal consultant to some rich guy. You finally have enough money to make your dreams a reality. Why would you throw that away to go value art?”
“Cora.” Delaney knelt on the bed beside her friend. “Don’t you get it? As much as I want to open a gallery, now is clearly not the time. How would I manage the pressure of running a brand-new gallery while raising a newborn on my own? Yes, this isn’t exactly my dream job, but it’ll give me a chance to start over, plus more flexible working hours while I raise my child.”
“I just…” Cora shook her head. “I’m worried. You’re talking like you’ve already accepted this job, but you only found out about it five minutes ago. Don’t you want to take some time to think it over?”
“Of course.” Delaney smiled reassuringly. “I’ll take some time. The whole day, even. Two, if you want. But I’m sure about this. I’ve always wanted to see more of Rome, and I need the chance to start over. I need a clean slate, for myself and for my baby. I can’t live my life always thinking that Logan might reach out. He won’t. I need you to support me in this.”
Cora bit her lip. “You’re my best friend and one of the smartest people I know. If this is really what you want, there’s no question of whether I’ll support you. I just want to make sure you’re going to think it through.”
“I will,” Delaney assured her. “Shall we have some bagels? I’d also go for some of that tea now.”
“Okay…” Cora fetched her the bagels and the paper cup. Delaney took a sip and wished she hadn’t. It was the same kind of tea she’d drunk in Italy; the kind Logan had gotten her each morning. She considered setting the cup aside but took another sip instead. She was going to start over, without Logan. It was time to put her memories and worries aside.
Cora stayed for another hour or so. She and Delaney chatted about baby names and Cora’s work, both of them trying hard to keep things normal.
“I should get going,” Cora said eventually. “I have a few things I need to get done. Will you be all right here?”
“I will. Thanks again for coming.”
“Okay.” Cora got up and went to put her shoes back on. She hesitated by the door. “Delaney?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re going to email that Italian guy to accept the job as soon as I walk out this door, aren’t you?”
Delaney flushed. “Maybe.”
“Okay.” Cora nodded as though she were trying to convince herself. “I’m really going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you too, but we’ll see each other again. It’s not like I’ll leave tomorrow.”
“Right. See you later, Delaney. And be careful.”
Delaney raised her hand in a wave. “I will.”
The second Cora was out the door, Delaney grabbed her phone and composed a reply to Marco Vassallo accepting the job.
I can begin as soon as the arrangements for my visa and flight have been made, she wrote. I’m looking forward to working with you.
Delaney hesitated for a moment before pressing send. Cora was right that this was a big step into the unknown at a time when a lot was already up in the air, but Delaney knew that this was her best move. She couldn’t put herself, or her child, though a life in which Logan was just down the street but had nothing to do with them. This was the best thing she could do, for herself and her baby.
Delaney pressed send.