Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
After counting the seventeen steps up to Stoneside Manor, Leonard walked inside. This time, his family knew he was coming.
Upon entering, he looked toward the drawing room, and Samuel sat before the fire with a blanket draped across his lap.
Perhaps he could have a visit before seeing to the tasks his father had prepared.
Leonard knocked against the frame of the double door, forcing himself to smile when he wished to do nothing of the sort. But Samuel always had one for everyone else. It was the least Leonard could do to return the favor.
“Leonard!” Samuel’s face brightened as Leonard walked further into the room. And then his smile immediately fell. “My goodness, what in blazes happened to you?”
Ah. His face. Leonard had nearly forgotten.
“It is nothing,” he said, taking the matching chair beside his brother. “What are you reading?” he asked, spying a book in his brother’s lap.
“Oh, just some Daniel Defoe.” His brow scrunched as he continued to scrutinize Leonard’s face.
“You always did prefer stories of adventure to books of education.”
“It’s as if I get to live another life for a while.” Samuel tapped the book with his fingers, his stare far off as if experiencing another life in his mind.
“Do you want to go for a walk with me as I check on the Tattershalls? Not an adventure, exactly. But some fresh air might be nice.” Was Leonard offering it as a distraction? Most definitely.
Samuel hung his head with a small smile. “Only if you think we can sneak past Mother. She has been hounding me more than usual lately.”
“Why?” Leonard’s brow furrowed.
“She thinks I’m getting worse.” Samuel scratched his neck and looked at the fire.
Leonard swallowed, eyeing Samuel’s thin frame. He had noticed the weight loss, so it came as no surprise that their mother had as well. “Do you feel worse?”
Samuel shook his head. “No, actually. I just wish Mother and Father would let me have a bit more freedom. But the doctors insist I be practically bedridden. And they do whatever he recommends.”
With a heavy gaze, Leonard brought his eyes to Samuel’s face. “I’m sorry, Samuel. I wish I could take this from you.”
Samuel waved him off, smiling. “I’m being a spoilsport. I do not know what has come over me today. Forgive me.”
Honora’s words came to mind. About being vulnerable and human. He forced away other thoughts of her, thoughts of betrayal and anger. “It’s all right to speak of it when it’s hard.”
His brother shrugged. “I usually don’t mind. Perhaps reading about adventures isn’t the smartest idea. And it’s been unusually gloomy outside. I find that makes it worse.”
“I’ve an idea.” Leonard leaned forward. “You come to the townhouse next week, and we can go to a show. Whatever you want.”
Samuel’s mouth pulled into a rueful smile. “If you can convince Mother, I’d like nothing more.”
“It is as good as done then.” Leonard stood. “Right after I speak with Father about some things.”
“Are you going to tell me about your adventure?” His brows shot up as his gaze roved Leonard’s face.
“How about this?” Leonard leaned on the back of the chair, lowering his voice. “When you come to the townhouse next week, I will tell you everything. Square?”
Samuel grinned and huffed out a laugh. “Square.” He nodded with another of his cheery smiles, jerking his head to see him off on his task.
Leonard wove through the house to his father’s study. He would do everything within his power to get him to agree to let Samuel come for a visit. It was the least Leonard could do.
As he entered the study, Father’s head jerked up. But before he uttered a greeting, a quiet curse slipped from his lips. “What has happened to your face?” he demanded while Leonard strode to the seat across from his desk.
“Someone punched me.” He crossed his legs, clasping his hands over his stomach as he gave his father a smug smile.
His father’s jaw clenched. “I see that. My question is why.”
“It was a matter of honor, I can assure you.”
“I’m assuming this has to do with the woman I’ve heard about.”
Leonard took a deep breath. “I see the servants have been talking.”
“Did you really think you would get away with it? It sounds like you haven’t been very discreet.”
“What will my punishment be? No allowance this quarter?”
“Why would I punish you?” His father reached forward and took a pen, scribbling something onto a piece of foolscap laid on his desk. “I just want it official. Sooner rather than later.”
“That will be a difficult task.”
His father’s dark eyes shot up to him. “And why is that?”
“I am no longer seeing the woman.”
His father’s face scrunched, mouth tightening as he tossed his quill down. “Blast it, Leonard. You need a wife, and I do not condone leaving a woman’s honor in the balance.” And then his face sobered. “Is that why your face is bruised? Did her brother call you out?”
“Not exactly.” Leonard stuck his tongue in his cheek. “I did not do anything to this woman’s reputation. She sought me out, and I put an end to it. That is all.” At least, all his father needed to know.
“Perhaps your brother will have to make a few appearances in society. Or we can invite some neighborhood girls and their families to dinner.”
Leonard’s frame froze. “You wouldn’t.” He pictured Samuel marrying whatever young lady his parents chose for him. And because of his role as first-born, it was possible that even despite his health, a lady would say yes.
“Don’t you dare force that on him.” His fingers folded into a fist.
“If you aren’t willing to marry, then what choice is there?”
Once again, the guilt was heaved upon him. For since Samuel couldn’t, Leonard must. And he loved his brother too much to put that burden on his already weak shoulders.
Thus, the charade would continue.
The sky hung heavily over them as they stood huddled about the opening in the ground and stared down into it. Rain sliced down on them, soaking into his coat and pulling his hair into his face. Leonard feared he might fall in.
The earthy smell of dirt choked his nose, making it difficult to breathe.
He leaned forward as he stared into the square opening in the ground.
If he could only get down there, perhaps there was still time to trade places.
Samuel and his smiles could live to see another day—to fill the world with his brightness.
And Leonard could simply climb into the casket and feel the peace of knowing he didn’t have to watch his brother wither away anymore. Samuel could be healthy.
But as he stared down and heard his mother’s wails from across the grave, Leonard was startled by a soft, warm hand gripping his.
He turned his head, and Honora stood beside him, staring down at the grave as well.
He narrowed his gaze, his mind trying to understand why tears were streaming down her face.
Something about the image didn’t sit right.
She did not even know Samuel. And yet, she was clearly mourning.
Leonard turned to look back into the grave, and there, beside his brother’s casket, sat one of a much smaller size. He sucked in a breath that seized in his chest.
It was the size of a child.
Leonard sat up in bed, his breath coming quickly and his shirt clinging to him. His hair lay matted to the back of his head, and sweat trickled down his neck. He looked about his room, almost maniacally, but there was no one in it but him.
He threw the covers back and stumbled to the window, throwing it open. Gulping in the cold air, he tried to calm his breaths. And once he felt settled enough to think more clearly, he peeled his shirt off and threw it to the floor, letting the icy breeze dry the perspiration off his chest.
Turning from the window, he pressed his back to the sill and sank to the floor.