Chapter Seven #2
He stumbled over the word. That couldn’t be right. That was what he’d always been taught, and the word had come out automatically. But he wasn’t incomplete without Jesse Turner. That was ridiculous.
He took a steadying breath. “It doesn’t mean you can’t love someone else, just that, when it’s your mate, it’s different somehow. That’s what everyone says, anyway.”
“So what, you just wake up one day and find out you’re stuck with someone? That’s bullshit,” Jesse objected. “And what about people not built that way?”
Another damn good question. Jesse was sharper than Matt had given him credit for. And he was ashamed to realize Jesse’s last question was one he’d never asked, even of himself.
“I don’t know,” he confessed. “Maybe they have a different relationship with their mate. More like a platonic one?”
Jesse didn’t look too convinced. “What if you flat-out don’t like your mate? You just get stuck with someone and told, This is him? Cause I know exactly what I’d do if someone tried that shit with me.”
Yet another excellent reason to add to the catalog of excellent reasons why Matt was never going to breathe a word of what he knew.
“Yeah, but you’re contrary as hell, aren’t you? You’d argue up is down if someone told you otherwise.”
Jesse snorted, then flashed that smile again. “Reckon so,” he admitted.
God, that smile. It still did things to Matt.
Something in Jesse’s posture had loosened, just a little, so Matt took a chance. What he was about to tell Jesse was important, though it made Matt uncomfortable. Emotions made Matt uncomfortable.
“I get that you’re not interested in being part of a pack right now,” he said. “But you have to realize, Jesse—we’re pack animals. We need other shifters.”
If he’d wanted to turn Jesse’s smile into something resembling a spitting cobra, he’d found the right way to do it.
“I don’t need anyone. And definitely not some damn pack.” Fuck you was unspoken, but both of them heard it.
“That’s what I used to think, after—” After what had happened in Cheyenne. After being stripped of his role, his pride, his confidence and everything he was. Matt forced out the words. “It may have taken me a few years to understand, but we’re not made to be alone.”
He hadn’t even been alone the way Jesse was.
Bryce had given up everything to follow him, and he’d stayed with Matt through the darkness that had followed.
It had been Bryce who’d found this fixer-upper and persuaded Matt into pooling their money to buy it, swearing it was only temporary and nothing more than a project.
That had been eight years ago, and now Matt couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. He didn’t want to live anywhere else.
Jesse’s shoulders were still squared pugnaciously. Matt withheld a sigh and made another attempt to get through to the stubborn asshole. Even though he held out little hope Jesse would listen to him now, maybe in time, he’d reflect on Matt’s words and act more in accordance with his nature.
“Even if you think you don’t need other shifters—okay, if you know you don’t,” Matt swiftly corrected himself at the flash of indignation in Jesse’s eyes. “The thing is, your wolf needs other wolves.”
“What the hell are you talking about, my wolf? Don’t matter which form I’m in—I’m still me.”
The depths of Jesse’s ignorance were astounding.
Matt found himself grappling with how to explain something that never needed explaining to anyone who grew up surrounded by shifters.
Everyone talked about their wolf, and everyone knew what that meant.
Evidently, it wasn’t as obvious as he’d always thought.
“Yeah, but you can feel it,” Matt said. “That sensation just before you shift, or when the moon’s full. Like a pressure building in your chest. A kind of excitement.”
Jesse nodded slowly, his eyes suspicious.
“That’s your wolf,” Matt said. “It’s the part of you that warns you before your brain can catch up.
There’s something inside you that’s different to everything else.
It doesn’t take notice of what you think—it’s all about instinct.
” A half-laugh escaped him. “Oh, God. I don’t think I’ve used this many words in years, and I’m still not explaining it right. ”
He ran a hand through his hair, frustration prickling under his skin. Jesse was still watching him, sharp-eyed and closed off again. The brief ease between them was long gone.
“Where d’you come from, Jesse?” he asked quietly. “How’s it possible you’ve never known any other shifters?”
Jesse’s jaw set mulishly. “If it don’t affect you, it’s none of your business.”
Maybe Matt should have been pissed at the level of disrespect, but he had a grudging admiration for Jesse’s attitude.
Not many shifters out there would be able to refuse an alpha’s questioning.
And more annoyingly, Jesse was right. Matt was being nosy.
He didn’t need to know Jesse Turner’s life story.
“I’ll teach you how to identify scent markings before you leave,” Matt said, and Jesse’s head shot up. Hope blazed in his eyes, and Matt understood for the first time just how deep Jesse’s suspicion had run.
“Later,” Matt added firmly. It was early enough that even his early-rising pack weren’t out of bed, he wasn’t dressed, and the caffeine hadn’t yet hit.
Jesse looked down at the table, something flashing across his face. A kind of uncertainty. Matt wondered what Jesse made of him—if Jesse’s wolf was objecting as strenuously as Matt’s was to the prospect of Jesse leaving.
He didn’t like the answer his instincts gave him.