CHAPTER EIGHTEEN #3
Lady Barkby sighed. When determined, she knew nothing would put her son from his course.
A little after noon he set off bearing what was ostensibly a parcel, and which contained the barest essentials of shaving equipment, and a couple of shirts.
He thought a parcel less obvious in Bath than entering a house with a small valise.
He had also shed his uniform, and was in the same coat of dark superfine that Louisa had seen him in upon first meeting.
Had she considered the matter, it now fitted him very well, rather than hanging from his emaciated frame.
However, when he arrived, she was oblivious to all but that her burden of worry was a little less.
‘Leece has shown me my quarters, and I have told him to have a meal upon the dining table in ten minutes for you. Thereafter you are to take to your bed until six o’clock, when you will dine and then report for duty until midnight.
’ He sounded brisk, and if she had for even a moment wondered if he might play the lover in any way, it was dismissed.
He was consciously avoiding doing so. ‘I will take from midnight to seven in the morning.’
‘Are you organising the entire household, my lord?’ It was a question that could have sounded arch, or antagonistic, but in fact sounded weary.
‘Yes, just for a short while. You need to have no other care than Emily, and for such periods as permit you to retain your own health with food and sleep.’
‘What would I do without you?’ She gave him a travesty 306of a smile, but the words were genuine, and brightened his day as little else could have done. It was important, for it meant that she could no longer tell herself, I have no need of him.
‘Off with you. Eat, sleep and return after your dinner this evening.’ He reached his good hand to her and squeezed her fingers. She nodded, and left the room.
If he had hoped to spend his watch in dreamy contemplation of long-term happiness with his love, he was soon disabused.
Emily was fractious, and inclined to the delirious.
He lifted her a little but she batted away the spoonful of cool mint tea, and cried.
He spoke gently but firmly to her, and after a few minutes the fog of fever cleared enough from her mind for her to look at him with recognition.
‘Barky,’ she mumbled.
‘Yes. I have come to look after you, so I hope you will be a good girl and take what I spoon you. You do not want me to go away, do you? Your mama is having her luncheon, and then she is taking a little nap.’
‘Stay.’
‘Then you must be obedient. Soldiers have to do what they are told, and I am used to commanding soldiers.’ He hoped her thought processes were not alert enough to raise the point that she was not a soldier. She looked mulish, but then her lower lip trembled.
‘I hurt. I am hot.’
‘I know. You will get better, though, in a few days. You must drink water and the mint tea though, or you will feel worse. If you are a good girl, then when you are better I 307will bring Jester to see you back home, and you can sit up on his back. You like Jester. He has a soft nose like velvet.’ As he spoke he took another spoonful of the mint tea and put it to her lips.
She opened them grudgingly, and coughed a little as the liquid, sweetened with a little sugar, slipped down.
‘Good girl. A couple more and then you can lie back.’
‘Don’t go.’ It was a pathetic plea.
‘No, I will stay here.’
She sighed, gave a half sniff, half sob, and drifted back into a realm of troubled semiconsciousness.
She was still very hot, and he had another two cans of lukewarm water brought up in the afternoon, as the feverishness increased.
When Louisa, who had slept from exhaustion, and eaten without noticing what she ate, entered at half past six, she found him in his shirtsleeves, kneeling beside the truckle bed and applying cool compresses to her daughter’s forehead. He looked at her.
‘That is better. You look far more the thing for a few hours’ respite.
There is no real change, but she swings from rigors to thrashing about all hot and bothered fairly often.
She has recognised me several times.’ He could not keep the touch of pride from his voice.
‘I will leave you to your watch, and relieve you at midnight. Your cook has prepared lemon barley water as well as more cooled mint tea, if you wish to try her with it.’
‘Thank you. Yes, I will. For your part, dinner awaits your convenience. I suggest you eat without making any repairs to your state of dress, and then retire yourself. I am aware you are bearing the brunt of the night, and with less sleep than I will get after midnight.’
308‘I have had to snatch sleep at odd times often over the years, and have learnt the art. I will have from seven until one tomorrow to catch up. Do not concern yourself over me. Now, I am going.’ He gave her a gentle smile, and as he passed her, touched her arm.
When Dr Parry called next morning, he found Lady Dembleby looking worried, but alert and clearly not teetering upon the verge of exhaustion. He was pleased to see her being sensible, and commended her.
‘What is more, there is the beginnings of a rash behind the ears, and, yes, white spots in the mouth.’ Emily complained loudly at the examination, and he had to raise his voice a little.
‘It is measles without any possible doubt, Lady Dembleby. I would hope that the fever wanes a little as the rash spreads. Do not be alarmed at it covering the body, nor that as it fades the skin seems “stained” with a brown discolouration. That will pass as she recovers. As long as she continues without complications, and there is no sign as yet that there might be any, she will show an improvement in a day or so, and be able to take light nourishment. Nor will she need constant attention during the night, once she is able to sleep without discomfort. The continued use of the cool bath may alleviate any itching, as will dabbing the rash with a cloth soaked in milk. In infants, the disease has a greater incidence of severity, but you are doing all the right things. I shall see how your nursemaid continues. Although less severe, she is not going to be fit for her duties for at least ten days once she is up and about. It takes it out of one, the measles.’ He exuded 309confidence, and Louisa took a great deal of comfort from that.
However, as evening fell, and she came to take up the watch for the first half of the night, she found Lord Barkby frowning.
‘What is it, my lord?’
‘I am not entirely certain. I think the feverishness is less, but she is in considerable distress. She says her ears hurt her. I have no idea why that should be so, or indeed if it is a perception of one particular ache over all her aches and pains, and she is now more aware of it.’
‘Oh dear. I know my governess always advocated warming the pillow with a warming pan and keeping the ear warm, but when it is both ears and we do not wish Emily to be any hotter, I am unsure what to do.’
‘I imagine all Parry could do would be prescribe a sedative for the pain, and I doubt he would be very willing to suggest laudanum for a child of three years.’
‘I hate to see her suffer.’ Louisa bit her lip.
‘As do I, but there seems little to be done but comfort her as best we can until it eases.’
‘Yes. You are right, of course. Cook has prepared you a poussin, and braised leeks in a white sauce, among other things. Do enjoy them, even if in solitary splendour. I had hoped you would not have to remain beyond tomorrow, but if Emily’s ears continue to hurt her, that might not be possible.’
‘Keen to see the back of me?’ He smiled.
‘No, no,’ she averred swiftly. ‘It is just that for you to spend your time in attendance upon my daughter seems unfair.’
310‘Well, neither Emily nor I have found a problem with it, so nor should you. I hope that the evening passes without too much agitation. Until midnight.’ He went to his dinner, and Louisa sat with an increasingly upset Emily.
Her tears of pain made her mother weep also, and Lord Barkby found her sitting with Emily cradled to her body when he returned as the clock down in the hall struck twelve.
They presented a sorry sight to one who, whilst in very different ways, loved them both.
‘Would you have me go and rouse Parry?’ he asked.
‘No … at least not now. If there is no improvement by the time I return at seven, might you go straight away for him then, before your breakfast?’
‘Of course. Remember, however unpleasant, this will pass, and I have yet to hear of anyone who died of an earache.’
‘Yet it tears me to shreds, being unable to give her relief.’
‘I understand. She is everything to you.’
In that moment, it struck Louisa for the first time as a fact, not a nebulous idea, that this was no longer true.
Emily had been her focus from the moment of her birth, but now the man who stood before her was important also.
She let him take Emily from her arms, and as she rose stiffly, she turned and said, very quietly, ‘Not exclusively.’
He watched the door close behind her with the quiet certainty burgeoning within him. Not now, but soon, he would ask her again, and she would say yes.
Lord Barkby was knocking upon Dr Parry’s door next morning before half past seven. The doctor came, and 311pursed his lips. Even attempting to look in Emily’s ears caused violent screaming and throwing herself about.
‘It is known that inflammation can occur within the ear in cases of measles. I am always very reluctant to prescribe opiates for very small children, but giving a couple of drops of laudanum with water now and tonight might give her enough ease to let her sleep and gather her strength for her recovery. No more, mind you, and we will assess the situation afresh tomorrow morning.’
It proved impossible to give Emily the laudanum without Lord Barkby holding her to him and speaking very forcefully to her as Louisa judged the moment to get the spoon into her mouth, and both adults were regarded with looks of loathing for some minutes afterwards.
It did seem to work, in that Emily became drowsy, and then slept.
‘I do not think she will rouse for an hour or so. You have not set foot outside the house into fresh air these last few days. Have Hannah sit here, and come out with me, just to walk the length of the street and back, and remember there is a world outside the sickroom.’
‘I cannot … what if she should wake unexpectedly?’
‘The laudanum has played its part. It is hardly likely she will waken very soon, and you will scarcely be more than fifty paces from the house should you be needed. A little air will rejuvenate you.’
‘But you are meant to be asleep.’
‘I can manage with a half hour less this once. Come.’ He held out his damaged hand, and she placed her own upon it. He rang for Leece whilst Louisa sought spencer, 312bonnet and gloves, and instructed him to send Hannah up to the nursery immediately.
‘I want her ladyship to get at least ten minutes of fresh air, for she has not been outside the house in days. We will go no further than up and down the street, but it is a start.’
‘Yes, my lord.’
They both turned as Louisa came down the stairs.
She was pale, and had dark rings beneath her eyes, but the pinched look of dread was gone from her.
Leece opened the door himself, with an air of ceremony, and she laid her hand upon Lord Barkby’s arm and stepped from the house, taking in the fresh air.
She realised how cooped up she had been, and this morning even the street felt a wide-open space.
It was only after they had walked in companionable silence to its end and were upon their return, that Louisa noted that he was not in his regimentals.
‘I thought it would attract less attention and, besides, I ought to get used to it: I have put in my papers.’ He sounded resigned.
‘Oh. It had to happen, I suppose.’
‘Yes. It is a wrench, but I have no other choice, and, if I am honest, the hope of returning to active service with the regiment was but a fool’s dream.’ There was regret in his voice.
‘Our lives change, sir, for better or for worse. It need not be worse for you. You hoped for the impossible because it is what you know, and have loved. Now you have a new focus.’
He agreed, but did not admit that the focus was her, and Emily.