Chapter 16
“All right, spill.” Natalie placed her folded arms on the table and leaned closer. “You’ve barely said four words since we arrived over twenty minutes ago. What’s going on?”
Guilt tugged on my insides. With everything that’d happened, I’d known sticking to our lunch date probably wasn’t the best idea. I’d just figured canceling on her would be worse.
Setting my fork on my untouched plate, I smiled weakly.
“I’m sorry I’m not the best company today.”
Natalie unfolded her arms and reached for me across the table. She wrapped her fingers around my forearm and squeezed. “Please talk to me, Evie.”
I always told Nat everything, but I didn’t want to tell her this. She was expecting her first baby, and the last thing I wanted to do was tell her about the crappy time my mom and I were having.
“Is it Liam?” she pressed. “Did he do something to upset you? Because if he did, I’ll—”
“Liam didn’t do anything bad.” The moment the words were out, I wanted to swallow them back down.
“Ah.” Natalie perked up. “So it is Liam.”
I sighed but didn’t answer.
Of course, my friend wasn’t having it. She instantly traded the seat opposite me for the one right next to me. Apparently, that still wasn’t close enough because she scooted her chair so close, the corners touched.
“Tell me everything.”
Eyes big, she leaned in like she was preparing to hear the world’s biggest secret.
I almost choked on a laugh.
Shaking my head, I wet my lips. “There’s not much to tell.” Besides me feeling him up, then having sexy dreams about him every night after. Oh, and don’t forget I writhed against him until I felt his hard length dig into my belly. Yup, absolutely nothing to tell.
“I don’t believe you.” Natalie narrowed her eyes. “You’re blushing. You never blush.” She must have come to some realization because her eyes went wide again, and she let out a gasp. “Did you and him…you knooow?”
“Geez, Nat.”
Her eyes were bright, her smile wide. “What? Weren’t you the one who told me there was nothing wrong with having your needs taken care of?”
“Yeah, but this is not that.” It was a weak response which was why I quickly added, “Besides, I just got out of a relationship.”
The glare Natalie gave me was so fierce, I was certain the lovely couple a few feet behind me felt the heat of it, too.
“Exactly. You need a cleanse. Flush that cheating idiot out of your system, and what better way to do it than with your hunky fake husband,” she said sweetly, waggling her brows.
A loud snort-laugh pushed past my lips, and I covered my mouth with my hand.
“Who are you, and what have you done with my sweet, innocent friend?”
It was Natalie’s turn to laugh, but hers wasn’t out of shock. It was one of those laughs that oozed the happiness she felt.
“It’s all Zach’s fault,” Nat said as soon as her laugh died. “But seriously, did you and Liam get together?”
Yet again, my skin heated. “No. No, we didn’t do anything.”
Not while I was awake anyway.
I’d shared everything with Natalie over the years, but I didn’t want to tell her about the dreams. And not because she’d judge me for them. Nat wasn’t like that. It was just that I still didn’t understand why Liam was so firmly planted under my skin, I feared I’d never get him out.
But this was Nat and she deserved something. That was why I entertained her with the watered-down version of what had happened in the kitchen. Absolutely leaving out the part where all my wiggling and writhing had apparently turned us both on.
The moment I was done, Natalie slowly sat back and cocked her head. “You’re not telling me everything.”
“What?” I choked out. “Why would you think that?”
“You’re my best friend. Sometimes, I know you better than you know yourself. I know there’s more.”
I wished I knew why I hesitated to tell her the entire truth. Especially since she kept me well-informed when everything went down with Zach. Not the intimate details, but just enough for me to know something was happening.
Heck, I still remembered her calling me from a hotel room in Spain when she’d realized she was sexually attracted to Zach.
I’d listened and given advice, and I knew she’d do the same for me.
The problem was, these feelings Liam had triggered were all new. I could honestly say, hand on heart, I’d never had the kinds of dreams like the ones I’d had about Liam. They’d never been as detailed or as vivid.
And to get turned on, I usually needed a lot of foreplay. Even the books I so loved to read couldn’t get me as soaked as one stare from Liam could.
Then there was the way my pulse would burn whenever he walked into a room. And every single time he looked at me, my poor heart didn’t know what to do with itself.
The biggest kicker of them all?
When Liam had wrapped his arms around me to keep me from falling, I’d felt the safest I’d felt in my entire life.
It scared the shit out of me.
“Evie?”
I blinked, then blinked again. Nat glared at me. She must’ve called me a few times while I’d been lost in thought.
“What did you say?” I asked in the sweetest tone.
Her blue eyes narrowed. “I asked you if anything else happened, and you nodded but didn’t say anything.”
“I nodded?” I swallowed hard. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” Cocking her head, she narrowed her eyes even more. “You’re not denying it.”
“Okay. Fine.” I sighed. “He might’ve told me I smelled nice, and for some weird reason, he calls me Snow.”
Natalie’s response was not what I’d expected. She didn’t utter a single word, just stared and stared. And then stared some more. It was a little creepy. I was about to say as much when she suddenly clapped her hands together.
“Snow as in Snow White…oh my gosh, that’s so cute.”
Her squealed words drew the attention of a few patrons around us.
Shrinking back in my seat, I cupped my hand over the side of my face. “Could you be any louder?”
Nat covered her mouth and giggled. “Sorry, but it’s cute.”
“What is?”
Clearly, the two of us weren’t on the same page.
Nat pursed her lips. “Seriously?” When all I did was blink at her, she rolled her eyes. “Liam thinking you’re Snow White is cute.”
“You think that’s the reason he calls me Snow?”
Natalie stared at me. “Fair skin, long black hair, and your ever-present red lip stain.” Poking her finger in my direction, she gave me a look that said: You can’t seriously be that dense. “Snow White.”
Something warm, fuzzy, and very unwanted bubbled through my veins. I forced it away immediately. I couldn’t allow myself to believe that Liam saw me as anything other than a means to an end.
Let alone a fairy-tale princess.
“I’m sure that’s not it.” I raised a brow and pointed toward my arm. “Maybe he’s just referring to my skin. Cece always says I’m so pale I scare the sun away.”
Nat seemed disappointed. “Why is it so hard to believe someone thinks something nice of you?”
With all that weight you’re carrying around, it was probably better I didn’t see you.
Anthony’s words slammed into me like a thunderbolt striking from the sky. Fast and sharp, burning a hot, shameful path to my soul.
And now that the door was open, insults I’d tried to bury over the years played on a loudspeaker inside my head.
Cottage cheese thighs.
Fat and ugly, but at least you have a brain.
Are you really going to eat that? Wouldn’t you prefer a salad instead?
Maybe you’d be more comfortable in something that wasn’t so formfitting.
My heart squeezed tight before it flipped and seemed to drop to my feet, leaving a searing ache inside my chest. So big, the depth of it couldn’t be contained. My throat burned, and my eyes stung.
“I’ll be right back.”
I didn’t even look at Natalie as I jumped from my seat and rushed to the restroom. I loved her, and I trusted her with my life, but I couldn’t bear the thought of her seeing me so broken and vulnerable.
Shutting myself in the middle stall, I plonked down on the closed toilet and allowed my emotions to take over. I’d give myself this. A few moments of self-pity, but then I’d dry off my tears, pull up my big girl panties, and deal.
Just like I’d always done.
That was the plan until two soft knocks sounded against the door.
“Evie?” Nat’s voice reached my ears, filled with concern. “What’s going on? Talk to me, please?”
I tugged the inside of my cheek between my teeth and stared at the barrier between me and my best friend. Why was I so hesitant to let her in? Not just physically but emotionally, too. We’d shared everything.
Well, thinking about it, I realized that wasn’t entirely true.
Nat had always shared everything with me while I was only too happy to listen. Listening meant I didn’t have to share my own hurts and insecurities.
She deserved better.
With a quick wipe under my eyes, I slowly pushed to my feet and unlatched the door. Natalie was right there. And the instant she took in my appearance, I was wrapped up in a hug so tight, I could barely breathe.
It felt good.
And, of course, just made me cry some more.
“Oh, Evie, what’s going on?” She drew back to meet my gaze. “Whatever it is, we’ll face it together.”
More tears fell. Untangling from her embrace, I grabbed a few squares of toilet paper. I dabbed my cheeks and eyes while Natalie patiently waited for me to get myself together.
I was grateful for that. It gave me time to gather my thoughts. And even though I wanted to be honest and open with her, I didn’t want her to know how bad things were with my mom. She needed to believe that not all relationships between parents and their children were terrible.
And I was genuinely afraid it would remind her of her father and the way he’d controlled her life. For the most part, she’d healed, but what if I triggered something by telling her how much it hurt that my mom was trying to do the exact same thing?
Her motives might not have been as malicious as Natalie’s father’s, but that didn’t make what she was doing right. Who knew what memories this would dredge up for my friend?
I didn’t want her reliving past trauma on my behalf.
“I think the whole thing with Anthony hit me harder than I’d like to admit,” I finally said.
Nat’s gaze filled with concern. “Harder because of how it made you feel or harder because your feelings for him were real?” She took my hand and squeezed gently. “It sounds like I’m asking the same thing, but it’s not.”
I knew what she meant, and my answer came easy. “I didn’t love Anthony. Hell, I wonder if I even liked him. It was always the idea of him that had me holding on. Because deep down, I believed he was the best I would get.” Sucking in a breath, I softly confessed, “I talk a good game but, truly, I’m terrified he’s right, no one will want me.”
“Bullshit.”
I had no clue what I’d expected, but Natalie’s furious response definitely wasn’t it.
“You hear me? Bullshit,” she repeated it with a bit more vehemence this time. “Anthony tried to break you, but you will not. I won’t let you. You’re strong and beautiful and the most courageous person I know, there’s no way a rat like him can bring you down.”
In the space of two breaths, I went from stunned to a blubbering mess, yet again.
Nat’s words weren’t some miracle salve that instantly healed my wounds. I still felt the same. Only now, I felt loved, too.
Pulling her into a hug, I whispered, “Thank you.”
“You’re one amazing lady, Evie,” she whispered back. “Don’t ever forget that.”
We stood like that for a few moments before we broke apart and headed back to our table. I looked a mess. My nose was red, my cheeks splotchy and my eyes smoky—the I-stayed-up-all-night-and-drank-too-much kind of smoky.
I didn’t care.
On the way back to the table, Nat had started talking about how excited she was to become a mom. She beamed. Every word she spoke was filled with so much happiness and excitement, I couldn’t help but feel those emotions with her.
Especially after everything she’d had to go through to get to this.
She and Zach both deserved their happy ever after.
My heart was filled to the brim with happiness for them, and yet, deep, deep down, there was a part of me that was somewhat envious, too.
I wanted to experience the kind of love they shared. To have someone look at me and think I was their entire world. And on the days when I couldn’t, I wanted someone to fight my demons and tell me everything was going to be okay.
But girls like me…we were bridesmaids, never the bride. Unless a way-too-handsome-for-his-own-good billionaire pays you a ridiculous amount of money to pretend to be his wife.
“Zach has gone overboard,” Natalie’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “There are so many boxes in the baby’s room, I can’t even get inside.”
Ignoring the pang in my chest, I smiled. “He just wants to make sure you and the baby are cared for.”
“As long as we have him, we have everything we need.”
Another ache pierced my breastbone. “I promise you that man isn’t going anywhere. Heck, if he could tether himself to you, he probably would.”
“Please don’t give him any ideas.” Natalie giggled. “He’s already checking in on me every hour. Not that I mind,” she quickly added. “His concern and protectiveness are just two of the many things I love about him.”
I gave her a pointed stare. “If you start talking about his bedroom prowess again, I’m leaving.”
“Weren’t you the one who always wanted to know all the details?”
“That was before I realized you screw more than the people in my books,” I deadpanned.
Natalie blinked once, twice, then one more time before she threw her head back and laughed. I couldn’t help it, I laughed, too.
It felt really good.
Even more when we spent the rest of the afternoon going from shop to shop to search for baby things. It was exactly what my soul needed.
By the time I walked through the door of Liam’s penthouse, I was spent and ready to fall flat on my face. Until the sound of shattering glass stopped me dead in my tracks.
Panic clawed at my chest and stole the air from my lungs.
Relax, I chided myself. It’s probably just Liam.
I barely breathed a sigh of relief when a string of curses filtered into the foyer. And even though it was a male voice, it wasn’t Liam.
Maybe Liam was with him? Cocking my head, I held my breath and listened. Sure enough, another voice filtered through. It was soft, but I knew without a doubt it wasn’t Liam either.
“Oh shit.”
I slapped a hand over my mouth. The last thing I needed was for whoever was in there to know I was here.
Slowly taking two steps back, I thought about what to do.
I was no coward, but I wasn’t stupid enough to take on intruders alone. I had to get the building security. They were equipped to deal with these things. With a plan formed, I spun around…and slammed straight into something hard.
A yelp left my throat, and my legs wobbled, tipping my world on its axis. I fell backward, arms flailing like windmills at my sides. I never hit the floor. Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me into an even more muscular chest.
“Twice in one day.” Liam chuckled.
We were so close, the warmth of his breath coasted over my skin. I didn’t even care.
Staring up into those deep-blue eyes, I sighed, “Oh my gosh, I’m so glad it’s you.”