Chapter 28
We didn’t get to reenact one of Snow’s sexy scenes from her books. Instead, we found ourselves at the de la Fuente household having dinner with Natalie and Zach. And his way-too-fucking-charming brother.
When they’d invited us over earlier, I’d told Snow I had no problem spending time with her friends. I wanted to. Wanted to weave my way so deep into her life that the thought of walking away from me, from us, simply didn’t appeal to her.
Had I known about the fifth wheel—the one Snow was so excited to meet—I wouldn’t have been so eager to come.
“Oh my goodness, seriously?” Snow laughed at another one of his stupid anecdotes. Apparently, the idiot was a famous singer—the very one she loved to shake her ass to—and had plenty of embarrassing stories to entertain my wife with.
Asshole.
“Yes, yes.” He nodded as he raked his fingers through his perfect fucking hair. “She took it all off right there behind the stage.”
Everyone laughed. I didn’t.
I was too busy figuring out if one really could burn a hole in the side of someone else’s head with nothing but a glare.
Zach’s wife said something I didn’t hear, to which Snow responded, “I’ll help you.”
Chairs scraped across the floor, and my brain made the connection that the women had left the table. Good. That would give me a moment to let Fabio know I didn’t appreciate his over-friendliness with my wife.
I opened my mouth, but his phone rang before I could say a damn word.
“Excuse me,” he said, pushing away from the table and making a hasty escape.
I cursed under my breath.
A chuckle sounded beside me, and when I looked up, Zach studied me with an amused expression.
Shit, maybe the curse wasn’t under my breath after all.
“He’s harmless.” Zach jerked his head in the direction his brother had just left. “A shameless flirt, way too charming for his own good, but harmless nonetheless.” Grin spreading wide, he leaned back and crossed one leg over the other. “Not that me telling you that will lessen the jealousy running through your veins.”
“I’m not—” I began to protest but quickly snapped my mouth shut. Was that what that murderous feeling was? Jealousy? Was I really jealous of another man talking to Snow? I thought back to all the times my friends had been with her and how I’d wanted to rip their limbs off for standing too close or smiling too wide.
“Well, fuck.” I scraped a hand over my face. “This is a first.”
Zach laughed. “Trust me when I tell you, I know exactly how you feel. Before Natalie, I hadn’t experienced such a profound need to hurt someone for just looking at her.” He shrugged. “Maybe that’s how you know it’s real.”
His words unlocked something behind my ribs. It had always been real for me. From the moment we’d walked into the judge’s office. Hell, if I were honest, I’d wanted her to be mine from the moment we met, I just hadn’t recognized the feeling.
Thing was, there was the small possibility this was temporary for her. That she’d walk away as soon as our contract was up. I didn’t quite know what to do with that.
“How did you know Natalie was in it for real, too?” The question tumbled out of my mouth without permission. But now that it was out, I waited with bated breath for Zach’s answer.
“I shared the darkest part of myself with her, and instead of running away, she embraced me. She loved me even when I thought I was unlovable.”
Something else stirred inside my chest.
Snow didn’t know everything. What would she do if I laid it all out in front of her?
I was fucking terrified to find out.
Laughter spilled in from the kitchen, shortly followed by the two women. Snow sat beside me, and my gaze immediately went to her. She was happy. Genuinely happy. Her eyes sparkled, and the smile hadn’t left her lips once that evening.
I wanted that feeling for her forever.
Her hand found my own under the table. She slipped her fingers between mine and squeezed.
I squeezed right back. “Ready to go home?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Zach had pulled his wife onto his lap. Whispering something in her ear, he brushed her hair off her shoulder.
The tightness behind my rib cage intensified.
“I’m ready when you are,” Snow said softly.
We said our goodbyes and made the trip home in silence. My mind was a spinning, churning mess. I had to tell her the truth. All of it. Every ugly detail. I just had to pray she’d still look at me the same when I was done.
“You’ve been awfully quiet,” Snow said the moment I closed the front door behind me. “Wanna talk about it?”
My frame shook with the deep drag of air I tried to push into my lungs.
“I want to talk, but at the same time, I’m scared shitless the things I have to say might chase you away.”
Her gaze locked on to mine, and shit, the concern already burning bright in those eyes nearly crippled me. Closing the distance between us, I wound my fingers through hers and brought her hands to my mouth.
I kissed her knuckles one by one, then leaned in to press my lips against hers.
I wasn’t sure she’d still let me do this once she knew the truth, so I selfishly took my time, kissing her the way I’d wanted to do for far longer than just tonight.
“Liam,” she breathed. “You’re freaking me out.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I rested my forehead against hers and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to lose the moment.
Snow must’ve sensed it because she let me stand like that until I was finally ready to take her hand and lead her to my office.
Somehow, having the conversation in a room we hadn’t both been in at the same time made it feel a little less daunting. Or maybe it was just that I didn’t want this moment to spoil any of the others we’d had around the house.
We took a seat on the long leather couch against the wall. Snow sat with her body angled to me, her hands resting in her lap. There was enough space between us to fit two people easily, and as much as I fucking hated it, I understood it was necessary, too.
Silence stretched for a few more seconds. My leg, tingly and restless, did that bouncing thing. Behind my rib cage, my heart thrashed around like a wild beast. How did I do this?
Where the hell did I even start?
“Liam, whatever you want to tell me can wait until it’s ready to be told.” She was silent until I met her gaze. “I can wait.”
I shook my head almost immediately. Of course this woman would say that. She meant it, too. She’d absolutely wait until I was one-hundred-percent ready to share my ugly truth.
A truth she deserved to know whether I wanted to tell it or not.
“You’ve seen the tattoo on my ribs.” I trailed my fingers over the spot where the ink swirled over my skin.
Snow nodded.
“It means I struggle and emerge, and the date beneath it is the day my mother died.”
Her big green eyes went wide, but she didn’t say anything. I appreciated that. It allowed me to say my piece at my own pace.
“You already know my parents’ marriage wasn’t a happy one.” I went on to tell her about the beatings my mother had endured, and how my father just wanted to get his hands on Nouvelle Femme.
Once I’d started, I couldn’t stop. I opened up about everything I’d witnessed as a child, ending with the night I’d seen my father murder my mother and how no one did a thing about it because my grandfather was wealthy and influential.
“That’s awful.” Eyes glistening with tears, Snow touched her fingers to her mouth. “I can’t imagine the horror you must’ve grown up with.”
“It wasn’t ideal,” I admitted quietly. “And as much as I would’ve loved to blame all of that for every wrong in my life, I can’t. My choices, good or bad, were still my own. Some I’m proud of and others not so much.”
My gaze roamed over her beautiful face. I hadn’t lost her yet, but that could still change once she heard the rest of it.
“I’d told you I never dated. I had no interest in it. But I’d be lying if I said there weren’t times I wasn’t lonely. One night, fresh out of college, I figured I’d go to a bar and attempt to meet someone. See if we could fulfill each other’s needs without an emotional connection.”
I laughed dryly. “Can you imagine a guy using that as a pickup line? The girl wasn’t impressed and not so politely informed me I’d be far better off finding what I needed at an escort agency.”
Snow’s back went ramrod straight.
“Her words stuck, and I did what she told me. For years, when things got really bad”—I tapped two fingers against my temple—“up here, I’d contact an agency and have them send someone over. I never touched them and only ever allowed their mouths on me, but it doesn’t make me feel any less shameful.”
Snow’s eyes darted back and forth, and she nibbled on her lip. Her expression was completely blank. My stomach seemed to drop to my feet, and my heart gave up. I’d lost her.
“I swear, it stopped the moment I met you,” I said quickly. “It should have stopped sooner; I just didn’t know how to deal with the shit inside my head.”
She was quiet, deathly so, for a few long, long moments.
“I never told you what happened between me and Anthony,” she finally whispered.
I shook my head.
She nodded slowly. “The day I lost my job, I came home with a fragile, bruised ego only to find my boyfriend in our bed with two women he paid to have there.”
Fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Snow, I—”
She held up her hand. “I felt a lot of things that day—ugly, demeaning things. I was angry, sad, and hurt—all at once. I looked at Anthony and saw someone I didn’t recognize. I saw a monster.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. Sharp, stabbing pains shot through my ribs and pierced my heart. I welcomed it. Welcomed the pain.
The couch dipped, and I knew she was walking away from me. My lids squeezed tighter. I didn’t want to see her go.
Instead of hearing the door shut behind her, warm hands smoothed over my jaw, and her soft body crawled onto my lap. I took a breath, and sweet, flowery strawberries assaulted every single one of my senses.
“I don’t see that when I look at you,” Snow whispered, touching her lips to my skin. “I see a little boy who witnessed an awful thing and had no one to guide him through his trauma. I see a young man so determined not to become his father that he deprived himself of basic human connections.”
Her thumbs brushed over my lids. “Will you look at me?”
Seconds ticked by as I mustered the courage to face this beautiful woman. Slowly, ever so slowly, I opened my eyes. She was right there. No disgust. No hate. Just understanding.
My heart swelled, ready to burst out of its confines.
“You couldn’t be like your father or grandfather, even if you tried. You’re too good, Liam Maxwell.”
I didn’t deserve this. Didn’t deserve her.
Before I could say that, she pressed her lips against mine. The kiss was slow and sweet, our sweetest one, and yet it felt huge. Like we’d reached some point of no return and there was no going back.
We stayed exactly like that for a while. Until Snow tore her mouth from mine and kissed her way down my throat. Her fingers found the buttons of my shirt, deftly undoing them one by one.
Scooting back on my lap, she dragged her hands over my exposed chest. Her touch, soft and gentle, set my skin on fire. Every sweep of her fingertips seared me right down to the bone.
She found my tattoo and immediately lowered her head to place a soft kiss on the ink. My body shuddered. Even more when she slowly climbed off my lap and slotted herself between my spread legs.
On her knees with her pretty fingers poised over the button of my slacks, she glanced up at me. Her lashes were thick, her lids heavy.
“What are you doing?” My voice was low and raspy.
Snow licked her lips. “I want to taste you.”
Her hands got to work, ridding me of my slacks and briefs faster than I could blink. Her fingers wrapped around me, and I let out a sharp hiss through my teeth.
“Every time you think about being sucked off; this is the memory you’ll come back to. Not the guilt-ridden ones. This one. This moment here.” Her hot little mouth closed over me, and she took me all the way to the back of her throat.
“Fuck.”
I wanted to close my eyes, to focus on the feel of her doing wicked, wicked things to me with her tongue and lips. But I was far too mesmerized to look away from her. She wasn’t doing this out of some twisted obligation.
She wasn’t even doing this to make me feel better.
This was for her as much as it was for me.
My gaze stayed glued to her as she drove me out of my damn mind. And when I finally came with her name on my lips, she swallowed every little drop.
“Holy shit,” I wheezed, finally catching my breath.
Snow smiled up at me, and that rubber band around my chest pulled a whole lot tighter. Words, big, big words, lay on the tip of my tongue. I couldn’t voice them, not yet. So, I kissed her instead.
Every brush of my lips over hers a promise, a vow.
Everlee Rose Maxwell was mine, and I was never letting her go.