Chapter 31
Istared down at the woman asleep in my arms. Apart from the angry bruises scattered over her cheeks, she looked so beautiful, so peaceful. Unfortunately, it was the exact opposite for me. Guilt, rage, and shame rattled my bones and wreaked havoc on my insides.
I should’ve been there.
Should have protected her.
It didn’t matter how many times she’d told me she was okay, that it wasn’t my fault. Or that Shane was facing assault charges. None of it lessened the blame on my shoulders.
Swiping her hair off her face, I bent down and pressed my lips to her forehead.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered against her skin. “This never should have happened.”
Her lips parted with a content sigh. Behind my rib cage, my heart squeezed painfully. I rubbed at my chest, my fingers scraping over my skin again and again. How was it even possible to hurt this much?
Sleep wouldn’t come. I knew as much. Slowly slipping my arm out from under Snow, I left the bed. I tugged the covers up her shoulders and couldn’t resist dropping one more kiss on her head before I quietly made my way to the study.
My brain was a foggy, jittery mess. Too many thoughts, too many memories. I didn’t know what the hell to do with it all.
My father’s violence and the way he’d enforced his will on my mother.
The night he’d ruthlessly taken her from me.
The beatings he’d given me after to ensure my silence.
One by one, memories of the past snuck up on me. With a curse, I shoved my hands through my hair and sank into my chair. I’d done nothing to stop him then, and now, so many years later, I’d done nothing yet again.
I dropped my head in my hands. The rubber band around my chest pulled tighter and tighter. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Low, harsh curses spilled over my lips. I cursed the universe—the powers that be, anything and everything—for allowing this to happen.
I cursed myself, too.
Shane and my grandfather had no place in my company or my life. I should’ve fought harder to get rid of them. I should have…
“Please don’t do this to yourself.”
Snow’s soft voice filtered through my thoughts.
I looked up. She stood right before me, bottom lip trapped between her teeth and those gorgeous eyes filled with concern.
“You’re not to blame for what happened.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. I wanted to believe her; I really did. But the guilt fiercely bubbling through my veins told an entirely different story.
“Liam, look at me.”
When I didn’t—because how the fuck was I supposed to face her and not see how miserably I failed to protect her?—she cupped my cheeks and forced my gaze to hers. My gaze snapped to the fingermarks on the right side of her face.
How fucking hard had the bastard squeezed to leave marks? My chest constricted painfully. Absentmindedly, I lifted my hand and trailed my fingers over the faint bruises on her skin.
Snow immediately smoothed her palm over my hand and curled her delicate fingers around mine.
“It’s not your fault,” she said again.
Her voice held so much conviction, I almost believed her. Almost. But I knew the truth. The ugly fucking truth. Before I could say that, she slipped her arms around my neck and slid onto my lap.
Her mouth crashed to mine a moment later. And because I was a selfish bastard, I took the kiss she offered. I took and took and fucking took until I wasn’t even sure whose air I breathed in.
Then I took even more.
Scraping my palms up the soft skin of her thighs, I hooked the hem of her sleepshirt between my fingers and shoved it up to her waist. Snow wiggled on my lap, scooting even closer than she was.
She made a small rocking motion with her hips, and my damn brain short-circuited. I had visions of stripping her bare and lifting her onto my desk. I saw my hands push her thighs apart as I stepped between her legs and fucked her until we were both spent.
I wanted to do that. So damn desperately.
But I couldn’t.
I respected and cared for her way too much to use her body as my escape. When we finally crossed that line, it wouldn’t be like this.
Snow was still rocking on my lap. Her movements were faster, her breath choppier. I tore my mouth from hers, kissing my way to the shell of her ear. “I want to taste you, sweet girl. Want to spread you open on that desk, lick and suck until you come on my tongue.” I nipped at her skin. “Will you let me do that?”
I’d never spoken to her like that, and for a moment, I feared I’d overstepped.
But then the woman in my arms breathed out a slow, drawn-out, “Yessss.”
The desk was cleared with her pretty ass perched on the edge before she had time to blink. I gripped her knees and slowly worked my hands up her thighs, prying her legs apart.
Snow held my gaze as I brushed my thumbs along her inner thighs. The movement was slow, steady torture that made both of us breathe a little heavier. Up, up, and up I went, getting closer to that sweet spot inch by inch.
But instead of slipping my fingers beneath her underwear, I veered sideways and skated my touch over her hips.
Snow huffed out an impatient breath.
A deep chuckle rumbled through my chest and I leaned closer to whisper against her lips, “What’s wrong?”
Another puff of air left her mouth. “You’re teasing me.”
“Me? Teasing you?” To prove she was right, I circled my thumbs back to her underwear. This time, I swiped the pad over her front in the barest of touches. Her hips bucked immediately, but my hand was gone before she could get any friction. “How so?”
“Oh my gosh, Liam.” How she managed to sound annoyed, breathless, and turned the hell on, I had no idea. I just knew I desperately needed to hear more of it.
I moved closer. “What do you want?”
“What.” She licked her lips. “What you said.”
I suddenly felt an urgent need for her to say it out loud, like that would somehow prove she was as deep in as I was, that this connection between us was as real for her as it was for me.
Fingers digging into her skin, I pushed her legs even farther apart. I craved to stand back and admire her spread out like that, but the intense desire to hold her gaze was stronger.
“What did I say?” I couldn’t keep the gruffness out of my voice, even if I’d tried. Not that I wanted to. My pretty little Snow needed to know I was just as turned on as she was. Maybe then she’d open her mouth and tell me what I wanted to hear.
Sure enough, her attention shifted to the front of my pants for a beat before her eyes met mine again. That bottom lip disappeared between her teeth, and I just knew she was struggling.
If it had been any other night, I would have backed off. Not tonight. Tonight, I wanted to push boundaries.
Gripping her chin between my thumb and forefinger, I pulled her closer. “Use your words. Tell me what you want, and I’ll happily give it to you.”
A long, tense moment passed, but then something flashed hot and bright in her eyes. With one tug, she freed herself from my grasp. Keeping her gaze on me, she leaned back and reached between her legs. My attention dropped to her fingers just in time to see her pull her panties to the side.
“I want to come on your tongue.” Using her thumb, she drew small circles over her skin. “Please.”
“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath right before I lowered my head.
That first taste of her was incredible and so bloody intoxicating. I immediately wanted more. Snow did, too. She made sexy little noises while her hips restlessly rocked against my face.
It was ecstasy. Pure fucking ecstasy.
And figuring out how many different sounds she could make quickly became my new favorite thing. Like the happy sigh she emitted when I used the flat of my tongue to slowly lick her up and down.
Or her little whimper when I used the tip of my tongue to circle her sensitive skin or suck it between my lips.
My favorite one had to be the way she moaned when I pointed my tongue and plunged it inside her. She loved that so much she rode my face with fervor. It was so hot and fucking sexy, my own hips shot forward.
But since there was nothing there, I didn’t get the friction I, too, craved.
“Liam,” Snow breathed between heavy pants. “I want… You have…with me…”
She wasn’t making any sense. Glancing up, I wasn’t surprised to find her already watching me. What did surprise me was the raw hunger in her eyes. I’d seen her turned on before, but nothing, and I did mean nothing, compared to the look on her gorgeous face right then.
Replacing my tongue with my fingers, I licked my lips then lifted my head.
“What did I tell you about words, sweet girl?”
I flicked my wrist, and her eyes rolled back.
“Uh-uh-uh, look at me and tell me what you want.”
She did as I’d asked.
“You…” Her breath caught in her throat when I curled my fingers inside her. “Oh gosh…I’m so close.”
Snow pressed her thighs together, but I didn’t stop. I worked her faster and harder until she fell over the edge with my name on her lips.
Thatwas the sweetest sound of all.