Chapter 34
Ididn’t hesitate.
In one swift move, I crashed my lips to Liam’s, kissing him with a bone-deep desperation I never seemed to shake. I eagerly swept my tongue into his mouth, tasting and teasing. It drew a deep, deep groan from his lungs, and the vibration of it sent an exquisite shiver through my body.
One that intensified tenfold as soon as Liam’s big hand slid down to my butt and dug into my flesh. His other hand pushed into my hair, holding my head in place as he took charge of the kiss.
I didn’t mind. I quite liked it when he took control and kissed me and held me with no restraints. How else would I let him take control? I ached to find out.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t say it out loud since Liam chose that exact moment to break our kiss. Like they always seemed to do, his hands drifted back to my face, thumbs gently stroking my cheeks.
“I thought you’d still be at the office.”
“Tristan called. He saw your grandfather in the restaurant parking lot. He was worried.” I held his steely gaze. “When you didn’t return to the office or answer your phone, I knew you’d be here.”
Eyes searching mine, he stayed eerily quiet. After a long moment, his lips parted, but he quickly snapped them shut again. Three more times it happened like that before he finally spoke.
“You came home…for me?”
His disbelief was evident in the low tug of his brows and the uncertainty in his voice. My heart broke a little. He was so used to fighting his demons alone that he couldn’t believe someone wanted to be there with him.
I curled my hands around his wrists, the wild rhythm of his heart beating against my fingertips. “Of course I did.” I brushed my thumbs over the backs of his hands in the same gentle way he caressed my cheeks.
Liam sucked in a sharp breath and squeezed his eyes shut. Whatever war he’d been fighting was so apparent in the tight pull of his lips and the tense set of his jaw. My heart pinched a bit more.
I wanted to take his face in my hands and beg him to let me in. To let me help him fight whatever it was that needed fighting. I wanted to confess to him that he wasn’t alone and if he’d allow it, he’d never be alone again.
I couldn’t say any of that. So, I waited. Waited for those blue eyes to finally meet mine again. They did a short while later, and it felt a lot like someone had taken a baseball bat to my stomach.
There was no wall, just his raw, unfiltered feelings. And boy, was there a lot. I saw pain, so much pain, anger, and hate, but I also saw something else. Something big and scary, something I was too afraid to acknowledge because it filled me with equal amounts of hope and fear.
“I’ve never been more afraid of turning into my father than I am right now,” Liam rasped. “I have it, Snow, that I’m-so-fucking-angry-I-can-snap-at-anytime gene my father had. You saw it firsthand. I probably would have broken more than Shane’s nose if Marcus hadn’t pulled me off him.”
Shaking his head, he lifted me off his lap and got up. “And today, I wanted to kill my grandfather. Wanted to wrap my hands around his miserable fucking throat and squeeze until the life left his eyes.”
I got up, too, and as desperately as every cell in my body screamed at me to close the distance between us, my heart warned me that he needed space. Space and silence to get everything off his chest.
Finding the nearest bench, I sat on the edge and patiently waited. It wasn’t long before he spoke again.
“I hate him. I hate everything he stands for, but I can’t deny I have Maxwell blood running through my veins.” His gaze landed on me, wild and manic. “It’s only a matter of time before I hurt you, too.”
With an unsteady breath, his eyes lowered to my neck. He lingered there for a few seconds before he brought his hands to his face and flexed his fingers.
He’d never hurt me; I knew it as sure as I knew the sky was blue. But he’d also never believe me if I told him that outright. So I tried a different approach.
“Do you want to hurt me?”
His attention snapped to mine; his expression pained. “Fuck, no. I don’t want to.” The muscle in his jaw popped furiously. “But what if I can’t help myself.”
“Okay.” With a nod, I pushed to my feet, closed the distance between us, and gripped his wrist.
Liam’s brows drew together. I ignored his confused expression and lifted his hand to my throat.
“Snow,” he warned as he tried to pull away.
He needed this. Needed to see he couldn’t harm me in any way. He simply wasn’t capable of it. Using my other hand as well, I locked my fingers around his wrist and kept his hand poised at my throat.
“If this is who you really are, Liam Maxwell, then do it. Tighten your fingers around my neck and—”
“I can’t!”
His voice, broken and hoarse, reverberated through the room.
Relinquishing my hold on him, I pressed my palm against the left side of his chest. “Of course you can’t. You could never be like them. Never. Don’t mistake the anger youhave for the same poison they have running through their veins.
“You’re allowed to feel what you feel. You’ve witnessed terrible things no child should ever see. You were subjected to worse. There’s nothing unnatural about imagining taking the lives of the people who took so much from you.”
I moved my hand up to cup his stubbly jaw. “A little unhealthy, maybe, but definitely not unnatural. And it most certainly doesn’t make you the same as them.”
Liam’s throat bobbed once, twice, three times. “I’ll never forgive myself if I hurt you.”
“You won’t.”
“You sound so sure,” he said, voice thick and gruff.
“I really am. No one goes through the things you have and comes out unscathed. So yes, you might be a bit broken and bruised, but you’re so much more than that. You’re good, Liam. So, so good.”
Those steely blue eyes shimmered. “I don’t know what to do about all of this”—he tapped two fingers against his temple—“it’s a giant fucking mess.”
“There are people, wonderful, qualified people who can help.” My hands found his, and I tangled our fingers together. “You don’t have to carry it alone.”
“What did I do to deserve you?”
There was no time to respond—not that I had any idea what to say to that. Liam’s mouth was on mine. This kiss was different than any of the others we’d shared. Maybe it was the rawness of the moment or my own realization of how deeply in love I was with my husband.
Every gentle lap and slow stroke of his tongue sent a roaring flame rushing through my veins. One that burned so much hotter than lust. Lust was easy to get rid of. But this, this marrow-deep need I had for this man was engraved in every part of my being.
I’d never wake up and not crave him.
And honestly, I never wanted to.
Liam deepened the kiss, groaning as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held my body close to his. Not even an inch separated us, and it still wasn’t close enough. My arms went around his neck, and I rose onto my toes.
Liam’s feet moved, slowly walking us backward until my back hit the mirrored wall. Gone was the slow and easy kiss from earlier. In its place, something savage and frantic. His tongue no longer teased; it swiped through my mouth in unsteady, harsh strokes.
He feasted on me like he couldn’t get enough. And I let him. Oh boy, did I let him. With another groan, his hands smoothed around my waist and up along my sides. He reached my breasts, pausing to brush his thumbs over my hardened nipples.
“Hmm.” I arched my back into his touch, not even embarrassed in the slightest by the needy noises he drew from the back of my throat with that barely-there caress. “More.” I shocked myself with that one-word plea because I honestly was ready for more.
I needed it.
So freaking desperately that I almost forgot about the bright lights. There’d be no hiding. He’d see me. All of me.
Was I ready for that?
Or rather, did I trust him enough to give him this vulnerable part of me?
“More,” I said again, louder and clearer this time.
His big hands immediately covered my breasts. Fingers digging into my skin, he molded and massaged until goosebumps littered my skin.
Of course, he thought I’d meant I wanted him to pay more attention to my chest, which I did, I just wanted it with far less layers of clothes between us.
Tearing my mouth from his, a whispered “Wait” tumbled over my lips. Liam immediately took a step back to give me space. This was who he was. The guy who would stop in the middle of a heavy make-out session because I asked him to.
His mouth popped open with an apology; I was sure. Before he could voice it, I quickly undid the first button of my shirt, then the second and third. Liam’s gaze flicked to my fingers, then snapped back up to meet mine.
“What are you doing?”
The gravel in his voice should’ve been illegal. No sound was allowed to send so many delicious tremors through my body.
The fourth button snapped open. With this one, my heart picked up a few gears. My shirt was open enough for him not only to see the swell of my breasts but the silk and lace covering them, too.
I drew in a deep breath and then lowered my hands to my sides. A sharp hissing noise immediately tore from Liam’s throat. Curses spilled over his lips as he stared at my bra like it was a freaking piece of art.
Nothing in the world could’ve made me feel more beautiful than I felt at that very moment.
He slowly slicked his tongue over his bottom lip and met my gaze.
“More. Fuck, I need more.”
When his voice was so desperate and his eyes so pleading, I had no choice. Moving fast—and ignoring the nervous rhythm of my heart—I undid the rest of my shirt. I shrugged it over my shoulders and immediately got to work on my pants.
A switch flipped somewhere in the process of pushing the material down my legs and kicking it to the side. And instead of feeling beautiful and proud, I felt naked and exposed. Like there was a giant spotlight on me, highlighting every flaw, every vulnerability.
I squeezed my eyes shut and stood still when I wanted to grab my clothes and run until my legs couldn’t carry me anymore.
Emotion bubbled through my veins, ruthlessly lodging itself in my throat. I couldn’t even swallow it down.
To make matters worse, Liam was quiet. Too quiet. There were no sharp breaths, no disgusted noises. There was nothing.
Seconds—that felt like hours, days even—passed before I heard movement. He was leaving. My heart squeezed too tight, and the emotion stuck in my throat pushed its way up to my eyes.
It burned hot behind my lids. But I refused to cry. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
“Snow.”
I heard his voice before I felt the heat of his body in front of me. My poor heart didn’t know if it needed to thump out of control or stop beating altogether. And when Liam gripped my chin between his thumb and forefinger, my nerve endings joined in on the craziness.
“Will you look at me?” His tone was so soft, so careful, it split my heart right down the middle. “Please?”
Slowly, so very, very slowly, I opened my eyes. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw. Liam’s gaze wasn’t filled with disgust or repulsion. He stared at me with carnal desire.
“Fucking exquisite,” he murmured.
My skin heated.
Licking his lips, Liam braced his forearm against the mirror next to my head. He released my chin to drag those impossibly long fingers down my throat and over my collarbone.
One finger slipped beneath my bra strap, and he pulled it away from my skin. His eyes shot to where he rubbed the material between his fingers.
“You’re even more beautiful than I imagined.” His intense stare was back on me. “And trust me, I’ve imagined plenty.”
With a bob of his throat, he slipped the strap over my shoulder. “Do you know what you do to me?”
When his voice was like that—gruff and way too sensual—I could not form words, so I shook my head instead.
Liam leaned in, lips brushing my ear as he spoke. “I want to fuck you raw until your voice breaks from screaming my name.”
I might’ve moaned at that.
“And then I want to slowly worship every inch of your body like the fucking queen you are.”
Holy hell, this man had a mouth on him. My breath snagged viciously in my throat and I rubbed my thighs together.
“Turn around,” he commanded.
I’d never snapped out of my little lust bubble so fast. There was a giant-ass mirror behind me, and I did not need to look at it. “Liam, I—”
“Do you trust me?” He dipped his head and stared into my eyes. “Trust I’d never do anything to harm you?”
If I trusted him not to do me physical harm, surely, I trusted him with my most vulnerable parts, too? “I do.”
A ghost of a smile touched his lips. “Then turn around.”
Holding my breath, I slowly pivoted to face the mirror. Instead of looking at my reflection, I met Liam’s stare. Immediately, he shook his head and jerked his chin at the reflecting glass.
“Tell me what you see?”
My brows furrowed. Did he want me to point out my flaws?
I swallowed. “I can’t.”
Understanding washed over his features, and he dropped a kiss on my shoulder. “Let me tell you what I see.” He dragged his hands down my arms before moving to my midsection. I sucked in a sharp breath, then another when he touched parts of my body I felt most insecure about.
“I see a strong, independent woman who’s too good for this world.” A palm skimmed my thigh. “A woman who is blind to her breathtaking beauty because she believes the lies of people who don’t matter.”
His touch smoothed up my side. “I see a woman who makes my heart smile when she laughs and turns me on with nothing more than a flutter of her eyes.” Both hands curled over my shoulders, and he drew my body flush against his. “A woman who’s seen the darkest part of me, and instead of running, she embraced it. Embraced me. Everlee Rose Maxwell, when I look at you, I see my wife. My future.”