Chapter 29
29
A solar-lit driveway led to a landscaped parking area with only Caleb’s Jeep in it. He met her at the wooden double doors set in a white wall. He looked relaxed in dark grey joggers and a white T-shirt which made her feel too dressed up in her green leopard-print maxi dress. His feet were bare and his hair tousled as if he hadn’t properly got up, which, given the significance of the day and the fact that he’d hidden himself away, was probably right on the mark. She’d anticipated being turned away with a gruff ‘leave me alone’, and certainly not invited in. Perhaps he needed company even if he hadn’t realised.
Belle marvelled at the clean lines of the villa. The white walls continued inside but were complemented by touches of dark wood panelling and a beige-grey tiled floor, sleek and masculine. The open-plan living area with its floor-to-ceiling windows and sliding doors onto a terrace took her breath away. To be wealthy enough to live somewhere like this was insane, but her overriding feeling was how empty it felt, as she looked past the large sofa to a dining table that could seat ten in front of an industrial-style kitchen. She could imagine him knocking about here, a bit of a lost soul on his own in a home that should be filled with laughter and love. Perhaps she was making assumptions; perhaps he held parties with the place heaving with people, but from everything she’d learned about him she thought not.
An overwhelming sense of having invaded his privacy came over her. ‘I’m really sorry if you wanted to be alone, but Cara was worried enough to message?—’
‘I’ve been completely unsociable, I know,’ Caleb cut in. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘You have nothing to apologise for.’
He gestured to the sofa that faced the open terrace doors. ‘Make yourself comfortable. Would you like a drink?’
‘Oh, only if you’re having one.’
While Caleb headed to the kitchen, Belle went and stood on the threshold of the terrace. The gentle sea breeze and peaceful night was a tonic after the heat and thumping beat at Ushua?a. She’d never been more mindful or appreciative of how special the two extremes of the White Isle were than tonight. The velvety black sky mirrored the sea except it was scattered with stars. Her eyes drifted across the terrace, taking in the different areas for lounging and dining, plus a breath-taking infinity pool.
She returned inside and sank onto the deep sofa. Caleb’s lifestyle was luxurious and enviable but also lonely, the place sparsely furnished, the only hint of him in the books that filled the shelves behind her and a couple of framed photos.
Caleb placed two steaming mugs of peppermint tea on the coffee table and joined her on the sofa. His face was pale, while his broad shoulders hunched inwards. Belle didn’t know what to say because there was an unspoken tension, either because it was an emotional day for him or due to Gem’s awkward revelation.
She decided to try and clear the air. ‘I know we’ve not seen each other since that evening in the bar when Gem, well… said a bit too much. Are you angry with me?’
Caleb frowned. ‘Why would I be angry?’
‘Because you seemed to storm off.’
‘I’m not angry.’
‘Disappointed, annoyed then? Pick an adjective.’
Caleb glanced away and let out a sigh. ‘Confused.’
‘Because you were surprised?’
‘Not that Diego slept with two friends on the same holiday, no.’
‘Oh, you know about that as well.’ Her heart fluttered. ‘So you’ve talked to him.’
‘Yeah, I talked to him. He’s always been like a younger brother and we usually talk about everything?—’
‘Oh God.’
‘But he didn’t say a thing about knowing you till I asked.’ He leaned forward and lit the candle on the coffee table. There were soft touches here and there: board games stacked beneath the coffee table, geometric-patterned cushions on the sofa and candles softening the hard edges and neutral colours. He blew out the match. ‘I like you, Belle, and I didn’t know what to think. The way Gem talked about you and Diego. There was a bitterness there that I didn’t understand until he told me he’d slept with her too, but I was upset because I could see you were upset.’ He breathed deeply. ‘To be honest I wasn’t keen on the idea of you and Diego together like that.’
Belle tensed, her breath hitching as she tried to decipher what that really meant. That he liked her as a friend and didn’t want to see her get hurt? Or that he liked her enough to be jealous of her and Diego together? Confused was the perfect word to describe her swirling feelings; he wasn’t the only one feeling that way.
‘I should have told you that I knew Diego, it’s just…’ Belle wrinkled her nose.
‘It wasn’t the easiest conversation to have with your boss, that ten years ago you’d slept with his brother-in-law?’
Her cheeks burnt hot. ‘Exactly that.’ She picked up the tea and blew on it, needing something else to focus on.
‘I didn’t think I’d be good company today.’ Dimples formed in his stubble. ‘But there you go, you made me smile. I didn’t even want to speak to Cara. I didn’t want to get upset and I knew I’d start thinking too hard and getting angry at how fucking unfair life can be.’
‘I take it being on your own didn’t help?’
‘Nope, not one bit.’ He slid his arm along the back of the sofa. ‘All I’ve done is felt sad and bitter, moping about being unsociable and miserable when I should have been channelling my efforts into remembering Paloma for all the good she brought into my life. How blessed I was to have had her love for seven years. It ultimately made me a better person. But in reality all I’ve done is be angry at the world.’
‘I sometimes get angry at the world as well, but you have reason. Something shitty happens to me and I think I’m being punished when actually bad shit happens to everyone. That’s life. Sometimes you just have to deal with things and not place blame. It’s not life conspiring against me even if it feels that way.’
‘It’s hard not to think like that though.’
‘Yes, when you’re young you believe you’re invincible and the world revolves around you.’
Caleb grunted in agreement.
‘I used to think like that after having the best time at university, acing my degree while playing a lot harder than I worked.’ Belle took a sip of the peppermint tea and put the mug back on the table. ‘After graduating I had an incredible summer with our holiday to Ibiza, then I split my time between Sheffield where I went to uni and back home with friends before moving to London. I had the best time followed by the worst. It was out of my control, but I felt my decisions and not being brave enough to take a chance on something contributed to it, because part of me wanted to stay here on Ibiza.’ Her cheeks flushed hot again, undecided if she should explain her feelings. But not being open about things in the past had always led to heartache. ‘I was pretty infatuated by Diego.’
Caleb shook his head but his smile eased her worry about talking so openly. ‘He has that way with women. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.’
‘Even though I had this exciting new start in London to look forward to, I was gutted to leave Ibiza. And London did get off to a good start. I made new friends and although the job itself wasn’t quite what I’d hoped for, it was my foot on the career ladder and I was earning decent money. Life was pretty good. Then shit hit the fan.’
Caleb rested his forearms on his knees, leaned closer and looked at her with concern. ‘What happened?’