Chapter 5
5
Six weeks later, Sophie was back on the A350, heading to Weymouth determined to keep her head this time. She’d decided she was looking to the future – she had to. The past was a dead-end of frustration and disappointment, there only to rob her confidence.
Her friend and colleague Virginia Weller was behind the wheel; they’d voted Ginny’s bright-blue Fiesta as the best vehicle for the two-hour journey. She wasn’t the smoothest driver, but the trip down the A-road was no excursion into the Cornish hedgerows or the Scottish Highlands. Sophie could grit her teeth and bear it, even seated in the back. In the passenger seat was Tita Pirnat, the longest-serving member of Reshma’s staff and the self-proclaimed heart and soul of I Do.
‘To be honest, if Reshma had expected me to book white-water rafting or crevicing or what-have-you, I wouldn’t have known where to start!’ Tita exclaimed with a huff.
‘Do you mean canyoning?’ Ginny asked brightly. Ginny did everything brightly. Usually, Sophie loved her for it, but that afternoon it was blinding and Sophie needed her wits about her.
‘I wouldn’t know! I’m glad Reshma decided to keep the other lady on. I always thought getting married was its own adrenaline rush. Who knows why people need to add real danger to it.’
Sophie chuckled, leaning forward to pat Tita fondly on the shoulder.
‘If it means we can draw on their staff occasionally for extra hands, then I’m all for it,’ the older woman continued emphatically. ‘It’s the bane of my existence, finding waiters and drivers and assistants in these far-flung places – not to mention the nightmare I’ve been having with photographers lately – plus we’ve turned down a client or two already this year and it’s only April.’
The extra hands were sorely needed. Sophie was flying to Elba in a few days for her next big occasion. The venue was one they’d used many times and she’d worked with the local businesses before, so she wasn’t expecting any hiccoughs, but she had another six weddings booked – including the Tran-Welbon wedding – and they wouldn’t plan themselves.
After a few stilted phone calls with her surly mountain guide, they’d blocked out two weeks in May and agreed a rough schedule. Andreas had assured her that was plenty of time before September, especially since the wedding party was less than twenty, but Sophie was itching to tick things off her list. She’d booked the hotel overlooking the lake for the week of celebrations and the historic lemon grove Lily and Roman had chosen for the reception, but the rest of the programme was alarmingly blank.
‘I can’t wait to meet everyone, now the merger has been finalised. What are they like, our new colleagues?’ Ginny asked, prompting Sophie with a look in the rear-view mirror. The labret stud just below her bottom lip moved as she smiled.
They wouldn’t be meeting all of their new colleagues, thankfully. Andreas should be safely at home in Italy teaching rich people to ski up mountains.
‘I don’t know them well. I think Toni is nice – that’s their receptionist. She’s a bit older than me. Willard – Mr Coombs – said she’ll like helping with weddings although—’ She paused with a grimace.
‘Hmm?’
‘Her husband died,’ Sophie explained. ‘I hope it’s not going to bring back difficult memories for her.’
‘We’re all poor advertisements for our services!’ Ginny said with a grimace. ‘I’m chronically single, Reshma’s never been married and you’re—’ She wisely cut herself off.
‘I’ve been happily married for eleven years,’ Tita pointed out emphatically. ‘Tied the knot as soon as we were allowed to.’
‘That’s true,’ Sophie said warmly. ‘You and Sally restore our faith in relationships.’
It was a wonder Ginny was single, given how much she loved romance. Although now Sophie thought about it, perhaps that was her problem. She still had her ideals.
‘And the others?’ Ginny asked.
‘They’re climbers.’ That was self-explanatory to Sophie.
‘Let me guess, they think we’re frivolous stylists more concerned with flowers and flawless place settings than the important things in life.’ Ginny seemed more amused than upset at the prospect.
‘Getting married is one of the most important things in life!’ Tita said emphatically.
Sophie wished Andreas could have been there to hear this conversation – actually no, she wouldn’t look forward to being in the same room as Andreas again, even with the opportunity to see him fidget.
‘And place settings are life!’ Ginny said with a giggle.
‘Kira is the only other full-time employee and… I can’t see her appreciating place settings.’
‘I don’t mind. I can’t wait to meet her anyway.’
Ginny pulled the Fiesta into the parking lot at Great Heart after a trip that had felt too short to Sophie. Willard had apparently booked part of the local pub for an informal dinner and meet-and-greet for the whole team. They were a little early, but before Sophie could suggest they take a walk instead, Ginny headed for the glass doors, full of curiosity.
Even without Andreas’s presence, lingering embarrassment rose up Sophie’s throat at the thought of spending time with Toni and Kira. She would have to prove that she was older and wiser, now, and then get over herself.
By the time Sophie dragged her feet through the doors behind Tita, Ginny was well on her way to charming Toni, all warm smiles and genuine interest. The Great Heart receptionist looked worn out, with shadows under her eyes and Sophie was struck with a sudden stab of sympathy for the woman who was raising the son of a dead mountaineer with only occasional help from another guilt-ridden mountaineer.
Toni’s smile for Sophie appeared authentic. ‘It is lovely to see you again,’ she said, a wry edge to her expression that acknowledged their awkward history – including the day six weeks ago when Reshma had suggested she might make this single mother redundant.
‘You too,’ Sophie managed. ‘I’m so sorry about…’
‘Thank you,’ Toni responded, but her tight smile didn’t encourage that topic of conversation. She gestured towards the climbing hall. ‘Why don’t you look around while you wait? For old time’s sake.’
As Sophie glanced at the wall of multicoloured grips set into textured grey panelling, it was difficult to believe there had been a time in her life when she’d trained here – when she’d made it to the top of the forty-foot wall, chalk on her fingertips.
Taking up Toni’s suggestion – mainly so she could talk down her embarrassment before she had to converse with anyone – she toed off her pumps and stepped onto the springy gym floor, turning the corner to take in the full jungle of verticals and overhangs, studded with hard plastic grips. Then she froze, her mouth falling open.
Andreas was here. But she had no time to process her feelings about that, because the sight of him was unexpected for an entirely different reason.
‘To your right – find the grip!’ he called up, his voice gentle. Ten feet above him, a kid scrabbled and clung and flailed his pale legs. Clustered around Andreas were more children, staring up at their friend in horror and awe – and occasionally sparing Andreas a similar look. ‘Reach. Push with your foot.’
He held the belay rope with both hands, crooning encouragement to the child until the boy slipped and swung away from the wall with a cry of disappointment. Andreas let him down gently, then swiped a careless hand over his hair.
‘Great job, kid!’
The group of children gathered around him, all talking at once.
‘Andreeeaaas!’ shrieked one, making him grimace. He held up his hands in defence, but there was a smile on his lips – a smile Sophie would never have expected.
Andreas hated kids. She believed his exact words had been, ‘Too much snot and not enough sense.’ And Sophie had been such a wet blanket that she’d just laughed at him, while her stomach had clenched in disappointment.
Now her stomach was clenching with hurt and regret and that secret grief that never went away. She was sick of her emotional reactions when she should have left him – and her doomed rebound marriage – in the past.
‘Andreas, can I go again?’ asked a smaller boy in a T-shirt a few sizes too big, his expression pinched. ‘Please!’
‘What if your friends want another turn too?’ he asked, propping his arms on his knees to bring his face down to the boy’s level. ‘We have to finish up soon.’
‘It’s my birthday!’
As Sophie watched, stunned, Andreas snatched the boy to him and gave him an enormous hug, following up with a thorough hair ruffle. That must be Toni’s son. ‘All right. Up you go.’
The smaller boy was obviously more proficient on the wall and scrambled up quickly enough that Andreas had to keep tugging the slack through the belay rope. He called up a few pointers, but his godson reached the top without too much help and let out a whoop.
The smile on Andreas’s face was one Sophie had never seen before – tinged with pride and fear and utter bewilderment.
Just after the boy’s rubber climbing shoes touched down on the gym floor, Andreas caught sight of her and the smile vanished. Without offering a greeting to her, he shooed the children back to their waiting parents and grasped the carabiner connecting his harness to the belay rope. But he paused before disconnecting it.
‘You want to go up?’ he called over to her.
She shook her head vehemently.
‘Out of practice?’
‘You could say that,’ she called back, irritated by the weakness in her voice – in her knees – from the sight of him in gym clothes, wrangling a bunch of kids. She would never admit she hadn’t touched a climbing wall since the last time he’d coached her on one. ‘But I’m surprised,’ she said, approaching slowly.
‘Hmm?’
‘You didn’t use to like kids.’
‘I still don’t,’ he claimed with an infuriating air of innocence.
‘What was that, then?’
He pinned her with a look. ‘One of those kids, I love . The other ones, I tolerated for his sake.’
The word ‘love’, emphasised in his rough voice, sent a shiver up her spine. But that sentence was all the more reason not to get caught up in this attraction again. There were precious few people Andreas Hinterdorfer loved and Sophie would never be one of them.
‘That was more than tolerating,’ she accused instead. ‘You were great with those kids. They adored you. And you never went so easy on me.’
She regretted the words as soon as they came out of her mouth, hoping he wouldn’t interpret them as a complaint that he’d never loved her . Two minutes in his company and she was already regressing to the insecure twenty-six-year-old she’d been.
His expression twisted into confusion and he opened his mouth to say something she didn’t want to hear, so she made a quelling gesture and turned pointedly away, heading for the reception area. The dampened sound of climbing shoes on the springy floor followed her and she tensed.
‘You needed me to be hard on you.’
‘Oh, that’s rich!’ she said, whirling on him, but her consternation dissipated as soon as she caught sight of his face. The shimmer of regret she felt was mirrored there. She wished she couldn’t see it, wanted to keep hold of the resentment that grew slipperier every time she saw him. ‘That’s an excuse,’ she managed to say. She glanced away to find Ginny and Tita gawking at her.
Toni came to Sophie’s rescue. ‘That’s Andreas,’ she said, introducing him to Sophie’s colleagues. ‘He’s a bit of a fixture here. And this is my son, Cillian.’ The small boy who’d raced to the top of the wall squeezed into her side. ‘He’s just turned eight and celebrated with the party of his dreams.’ She caught Andreas’s gaze and they shared an eye-roll. ‘Did you survive?’ she asked in a mock whisper.
He just raised his eyebrows.
‘I have to take Cillian home, but my parents are watching him tonight, so I’ll meet you at the Admiral in a little bit,’ Toni explained. ‘Rhys, Kira and Laurie are probably already there. I don’t think you’ve met Rhys and Laurie yet. Laurie is another of our guides and Rhys works with us occasionally as a photographer.’
Tita’s eyes lit up.
‘I’ll get changed and meet you there,’ Andreas said. It was difficult for Sophie to tell from his clipped tone whether he was talking to her or to the rest of the group. She felt a light grip around her upper arm – brief and hesitant, but when she turned to him, he was already several steps away, snatching a towel from the floor and heading for the changing rooms.
* * *
He must have looked even more grim than usual when he stepped over the threshold into the taproom at the Admiral. It was raining – again. Drops skidded down the leaded windows, making the fading evening light even weaker inside. He was hungry and restless, but mostly he was frustrated – with everything about that day.
Kira caught sight of him first, but her smile dulled as soon as she took in his expression. She stood, giving Laurie’s shoulder a clasp and muttering something to the rest of the group as she hurried over. Slinging her arms around Andreas, she squeezed with her familiar tightness and he returned the hug, his expression reluctantly softening as his arms wrapped around her.
‘What’s up?’ she asked, drawing back, but not letting go. He was vividly conscious of the proximity of her face, but not in the way he’d experienced it before – usually as a friend, occasionally closer. That day, his hair stood on end and he imagined – or felt – Sophie’s gaze on the two of them, coming to her conclusions. Or was it wishful thinking that she was watching? If she were, she was probably just disapproving. He was nearly ten years older than Kira.
His head had been a mess ever since he’d walked into that meeting room and seen Sophie’s face again after so many years. A clear head was one of the main requirements of his job and he was struggling to maintain one, haunted by her pinched expression, by the suggestion that everything that had gone wrong between them had been his fault. A lot of it had been, he would admit, but he’d thought she’d understood his dilemma. He hadn’t meant to hurt her.
‘A group of kids is enough to finish me for the day, but the pub with strangers afterwards?’ He shuddered for effect, casually disengaging Kira’s hands from his waist.
‘You can escape to your remote mountains soon,’ she reassured him, but then paused, shooting him with an assessing gaze. ‘Do you want me to help you out with Sophie?’
He shook his head vehemently, then paused. ‘What do you mean? What help do you think I need?’
‘You could sit next to me. I’ll keep you… occupied. She won’t dare talk to you.’
His mouth opened to protest, but he stopped himself, embarrassment tingling over his skin. What could he say to that? He settled on, ‘Sophie doesn’t want to talk to me.’
‘It doesn’t look that way.’
The back of his neck burned, but he didn’t dare look over at the rest of the group. He could still feel the shock of her statement in the gym: You never went so easy on me. While he’d showered, he’d agonised over why she’d said it, what she thought about their relationship. He hated agonising. There was a powerlessness to it that he couldn’t cope with.
‘She asked when you’re flying out again, how long you usually stay in Weymouth these days.’
‘If you’re suggesting she’s still interested in me, I can assure you it’s not true,’ he said with a dark laugh. ‘She’s probably hoping to avoid me as much as possible before we go to Italy.’ Hoping to avoid talking about the past, as though that would mean not thinking about it either.
‘She mentioned an ex-husband.’
‘What?’ He snapped his mouth shut when the word came out more loudly than he’d intended. His skin crawled at the thought of her married to someone else, but the idea of her divorced didn’t improve his discomfort. Of course she would have got married. It had been eight years and she wasn’t the one allergic to commitment. ‘Who?’
Kira held up her hands. ‘I don’t know!’ She studied him with a wary look. ‘Is it you who wants to get back together?’
He gritted his teeth. ‘ Nobody wants to get back together.’ Scraping off his cap and running his hand over the back of his head, dreaming of a hundred-foot wall or, better yet, real granite beneath his fingers and nothing but air at his back, he breathed in and out through his nose and faced up to the truth. ‘We just have some unfinished business.’
To his surprise, Kira smiled and whacked him on the arm. ‘You think? God, your head is harder than rock. But the merger has happened. If you’re so certain neither of you wants to start things up again, maybe you should clear the air?’
He didn’t want to get back together with Sophie. Those few months with her had been the most intense relationship of his life, but they’d only proven he wasn’t built for forever, especially since their paths had diverged so dramatically since. When Kira said, ‘Clear the air,’ all his hair stood on end and he wanted to run.
But unfortunately, Kira was right. He glanced in Sophie’s direction, catching her eyes on him, although she dropped her gaze so quickly, he could have laughed. Colour blossomed on her cheeks. She looked so neat and untouchable, with her gold hoops and chic white blazer. He still wanted to touch her – to ruffle her hair and smear off some of her lipstick until he could see the woman she’d been back then, the woman he missed, even though he shouldn’t. Whether she liked it or not, they had to talk.