Chapter 10
10
Sophie had thought talking about the end of their relationship had been mortifying enough, but when Andreas had sat calmly across from her and mentioned their first kiss? She was still squirming.
She’d been so na?ve back then, pursuing him, believing her feelings meant great things, when they’d been blurred by adrenaline and hormones. But that kiss had been a decisive moment in her life; the way she’d combusted with him had shocked her, like waking up. She might have pursued him first, but he’d responded with vehemence and everything about that night had been more than she’d bargained for – more than she’d been ready for, although she hadn’t realised that at the time.
Perhaps everyone felt as though they would burst the first time they fell in love. Sophie couldn’t picture herself doing anything like that again, no matter how attractive Andreas still looked across the table from her.
She forced herself to pay attention to what he was saying – to the wedding plans – not the slant of his mouth as he spoke or his rough, clipped voice.
‘Not all summits have crosses, but many do. How big will the wedding party be and how long will they need to stay up there?’
‘I don’t have the final numbers, but we’re looking at fifteen to twenty people, about six each at the hen do and the bachelor party. Four parents, all very fit and mobile apparently. Not Aunt Frieda,’ she added, one more awkward joke to try to keep her on an even keel.
‘If they have to get up and back in a day, plus all of the… not-marriage stuff?—’
‘You mean the vows? The commitment ceremony?’
‘Is that seriously what you call it?’ he asked, his voice high. ‘It sounds like a ritual that might involve blood – or lawyers.’
‘Usually, I just call it a wedding,’ she said witheringly.
‘Fine, but stopping for a wedding in the middle of a trek…’ He cleared his throat. ‘I still can’t believe what I’m saying.’
‘I still don’t know what your point is.’
He glanced up with an amused glint in his eye. ‘Even if Aunt Frieda isn’t coming, a long hike is going to be too complicated.’
‘As I understand it, they’re after that sense of achievement to mark the occasion. If I suggest a nice Sunday walk, it’s not going to be what they want. They mentioned they climb too.’
His expression was pained. ‘All right. What condition are you in?’
‘What do you mean?’ She drew back defensively.
‘Physically. What can you handle? If we want to tick off a couple of summits a day, I need to know how fit you are.’
Not as fit as she’d been eight years ago, that was certain. ‘I can walk all day.’
‘Speed? How much altitude gain?’
‘I have no idea,’ she bit out. ‘I don’t hike much any more.’ She didn’t like the wary look he gave her. ‘Who am I supposed to go hiking with? And to be perfectly honest, I haven’t missed it much. I quite like showering and sleeping in an actual bed too.’
He sat perfectly still for a long moment, his gaze reflective, as though he were analysing her down to the finest detail. It was disconcerting, especially since she’d expected his gruff disapproval. ‘Fair enough,’ he said, his voice low. ‘You mentioned a via ferrata? Is that something we should be looking at? They’d get their feeling of achievement. Climbing is ruled out with a group that size, but a via ferrata could be a compromise to get somewhere really spectacular in a short time.’
Sophie looked down at her lap to hide her grimace. ‘I think they’d love a via ferrata.’ Sophie on the other hand… ‘As long as it’s not too challenging for the rest of the party.’
‘Don’t worry,’ Andreas scoffed. ‘I’ve got no desire to lead a large, mixed-ability group up a difficult route either. When was the last time you did one?’
‘With you,’ she answered in a small voice.
His brows shot up. ‘You stopped climbing… entirely?’
She just nodded.
‘What about with Rory? He seemed keen. He even said he’d consider training as a guide.’
‘He didn’t,’ Sophie said with a gulp. ‘We were just quite… comfortable in our spare time.’
Andreas looked as though ‘comfortable’ was up there with bad coffee in his books. ‘Are you sure you’re still up to it?’ he asked evenly.
‘I’ll manage,’ she insisted. They’d agreed he wouldn’t choose anything difficult. Although it sometimes felt surreal, she had dangled from ladders and scrambled up plenty of precipices that summer they’d been together. She might not be looking forward to it, but she would manage. She had to.
‘Okaaaaay,’ he agreed – a little doubtfully, but that only hardened her resolve. ‘We should find some place.’
‘Some place? People don’t usually plan to get married “some place”. We need to find somewhere perfect – a few options that are perfect – and soon. I know we don’t have to make any bookings, but they’re getting married on the nineteenth of September!’ She was already getting nervous about a four-month turnaround for arranging the ceremony, but Andreas had assured her it was plenty of time and coming any earlier would have been too cold.
‘The nineteenth is the day booked for the reception, is it?’
‘The wedding, yes. They arrive on the Monday. Pre-wedding events are scheduled for Tuesday and Thursday, with a rest day on Wednesday and then Friday is the big day. I avoided the weekend to minimise the number of other hikers?—’
‘I can’t guarantee it can happen on the Friday,’ he interrupted her. ‘Don’t you remember our pre-departure briefing for Sardinia?’
Sophie remembered arriving for that meeting and having every molecule of breath punched out of her lungs when she met their adventure guide. She’d been worried she’d have to peel her chin off the floor and mop up the drool. When he’d shaken her hand with an impersonal smile, she’d lost the ability to form words, so distracted by his rough fingertips and rasping accent.
She took a deep breath, clearing her head enough to work out his meaning. ‘Safety comes first. The most important tool is good planning and the key to good planning is adapting to conditions.’
He huffed a laugh. ‘You were a good student.’ Hopefully, he didn’t mean she’d hung on his every word, because she’d hoped he hadn’t noticed. ‘But the other lesson from every briefing: the guide is in charge. No one gets married until I say so.’
She stifled a chuckle at his dramatics. Biting her lip and keeping her gaze on her lasagne, she ordered herself not to point out that he’d put himself back in the picture.
‘Was something funny?’
Oops, busted . ‘Nope.’
‘Safety is not a joke.’
She couldn’t stop the next snort of laughter. Trying to hide behind her wine glass, she only succeeded in choking on her sip.
‘Sophie.’ The way he said her name this time, with a shake of his head and an exasperated smile, sounded even more like an endearment. ‘You know I’m serious, hmm?’
‘Very serious,’ she agreed, still trying not to laugh. ‘“No one gets married until I say so,”’ she imitated him, pitching her voice low. ‘I couldn’t help it,’ she defended herself when he pinned her with a dubious look. ‘I get it. Their dreams of getting married somewhere unique aren’t worth twenty people slipping to their death – or one person breaking their leg. We can have a special signal. “Are we all clear for the wedding?” “Roger that, all clear. Code green. They’re getting married.” “Copy that, code green.”’
‘Have you ever spoken into a radio?’ he asked doubtfully.
Sophie snatched a piece of bread and tore it apart as she answered. ‘I have, actually.’
‘Ah, wedding radio? A big event where you had to keep in touch with your minions to avert the champagne emergencies.’
‘The best tool for avoiding champagne emergencies is good planning,’ she imitated him. ‘And I don’t have minions. It’s usually just Ginny with me or one of the casual managers and occasionally, we wear portable radios.’
‘Ginny’s the one with the—’ He gestured to the spot on his own chin where Sophie’s colleague wore a stud in her labret piercing.
Sophie nodded.
‘This wedding will be a bit different to your usual.’
‘There is no “usual”. That’s what I like about destination weddings. But yes, this is quite a bit more complicated than the other outdoor weddings I’ve arranged.’
He drained the last of his wine, his knife and fork lay neatly on his plate. He didn’t quite have a smile on his face, but he was leaning back in his chair, his posture relaxed. Perhaps this was the right time.
‘You do realise,’ she began, not meeting his gaze, ‘that you said no one gets married until you say so.’
With a long sigh, he rested one hand on the table. ‘I did notice that.’
‘Reshma is keen for this wedding to be a success – a blueprint of sorts. Proof of concept. I’m pretty sure Willard is eager to see everything turn out well too, as a sign that this merger could actually work.’ She paused. ‘And I don’t think you’re going to be able to bow out once you’ve helped me plan this part. You’ll need to see it through to the end.’
When she risked a glance up, she found him watching her thoughtfully. ‘Do you want me to? Really?’
No. Yes! She paused to gather her thoughts, marvelling at how quickly he’d turned this back on her.
‘I want this wedding to work.’
‘It’ll work, with or without me. Kira and Laurie are both experienced guides and Willard has another twenty names on his books. It doesn’t have to be me.’
His words took her back to that disastrous day when she’d asked him to marry her. She couldn’t remember exactly what he’d said, but the sentiment had been the same, as though she’d be able to replace him with a snap of her fingers. She bristled at the memory.
‘You’re right, it doesn’t have to be you. But my boss is also right, you are the best choice for this area, this situation. You know that. Whether I want you on my team for personal reasons is beside the point.’ She caught herself, wondering if those words had come out wrong. ‘As long as you refrain from mentioning your views on marriage – and we don’t start… reminiscing in front of the wedding party?—’
His eyebrows shot up and Sophie could have choked on her words – definitely poorly chosen this time.
‘I don’t mean?—’
‘I didn’t think you meant?—’
‘I was obliquely referring to our arguments, not… getting reacquainted.’ She blushed so completely, even the tips of her ears burned.
‘You’re full of pretty ways to say things this evening,’ he said with an irritatingly straight face. There was a softness in his eyes that drew her in, as though the good memories of their time together could banish some of the bad – for him at least.
The restaurant manager who’d taken their order set their desserts on the table with a flourish – tiramisu for Sophie and panna cotta for Andreas. He leaned his elbows on the table and studied her, obviously taking his time to formulate his next sentence.
As punishment for his lengthy hesitation, she stole a blueberry from his bowl. But instead of a scowl, he smiled and pushed his dessert in her direction.
‘Have whatever you like.’
Lifting her spoon hesitantly, she gestured to her bowl. ‘Do you want to try?—?’
He shook his head. Waiting until she’d taken a spoonful of strawberry and thickened cream – okay, two spoons – he said something she would never have expected. ‘Euphemisms aside, I think it would be good to get reacquainted.’
‘You do?’
‘We’ve obviously both changed.’
She couldn’t tell if he meant that as a good thing.
‘But I have an expedition to the Himalayas. There’s a team taking shape. We were looking at going in autumn this year – I don’t know exactly when.’
Sophie stilled, waiting for him to continue, although a ripple of unease went through her at his further plans to scale dangerous mountains for reasons she’d never really asked – or at least he’d never satisfactorily explained.
‘If you’re here, you won’t like handing it over to someone else. You’ll want to be the one to lead.’
She expected him to bluster and deny it, but he just smiled, a closed-mouth twist of his lips that was mirrored in his eyebrows. ‘Maybe. But if I do it, I’m not going to say “code green” into a radio and I am definitely not coming to the reception.’
‘Roger that, over and out.’