Chapter 10
TEN
I woke up at dawn, wrapped in William’s arms. I’d had a strange dream, and I started as I awoke and realised where I was.
In the dream, I had been at a wedding. Just me, a shadowed man that I couldn’t quite see and a priest. We were standing in woodland; it was cold, and wet underfoot.
I looked down at myself: I wore a beautiful white dress, and there was a gold band on my finger.
The priest turned to me; I knew I had to repeat the words he had just said, but I didn’t understand them.
They were in a language that didn’t make any sense to me.
I had the overwhelming feeling that I hadn’t chosen this marriage; that I was there under duress. The shadowed man held my hands in his firmly. I had to repeat the words. I couldn’t see his face.
William was already awake, staring at the ceiling of the little shack. It was cold; my breath made a fog in the morning air.
‘Good morning.’ His voice was low; his dark eyes unreadable.
‘Good morning,’ I replied, shyly. I pulled the blankets over myself in an attempt to get warm.
I wasn’t sure what to feel; the night before, we had come to each other in passion, but now, everything felt chilly, and it wasn’t just the frigid air in the hut.
The dream felt like it lingered in the air between us.
‘We should get up. I imagine Miss Willcock’s cottage will be warmer than this.
’ He sighed, sitting up and pulling on his shirt, which he had discarded on the floor the night before.
‘It pains me that a draughty pellar’s cottage should be the only place I have to go, unless I want to take my pick of whatever gamekeeper’s hovel should be empty.
’ He grumbled as he got dressed. ‘How did it come to this? I cannot fathom that I may never see my home again. What will I do if I am never Lord of Trevarron again?’
I didn’t want to tell him that I felt it was fairly unlikely that he would return to his old life.
Given that all was even in the mechanics of the time portal, which I still didn’t really understand, it should be equally easy or difficult for either one of us to return to either 1755 or the twenty first century.
Yet, in 1755, William was wanted for assault and possibly murder. He couldn’t go back there.
‘I don’t know, William. It’s something we’ll have to work out together.
’ I sighed, taking a deep breath before I pushed off the thin blanket and reached for my jumps and the little jacket that went over them, which had been torn off in passion the night before, as were my skirts.
I dressed hurriedly, the cold prickling my skin.
‘Now that I am no longer the Lord of Trevarron, I have nothing. No money. No land. No title,’ he repeated dully as he watched me dress. ‘You will tire of me without it, Tegan. I told you last night.’
‘And I told you that I won’t,’ I replied. ‘Lace me up, will you?’
‘See? You already treat me as a servant.’ He was mulish, but came to stand next to me and began lacing up my bodice with deft fingers.
‘If I tire of you, William, it’ll be because of your character, and not because you’re no longer a lord.
That was the thing that stood in our way, if anything.
’ I watched him as he concentrated on the lacing, his noble face frowning.
Not for the first time, I admired his high cheekbones; that handsome face.
‘How so?’ He frowned.
‘Because, as lord, you had power over me in a way that would never be healthy. I was Edith’s maid.
What hope did we ever have to be together?
Now, at least, you have no obligations. No restrictions.
You can go wherever you please, do whatever you please,’ I said.
‘I know that we don’t yet know where or what that might be.
But it’s something. We could choose to see this as a possibility. ’
He regarded me seriously. ‘Tell me, what is it like, the time you are from? Are you even a maid there? Who are you? What do you do?’
‘That’s a very big question.’ I wanted to touch him; I wanted to kiss him, but after the fire of the evening before, the energy between us felt frosty.
‘It’s very different. There’s central heating, for a start.
’ I shivered. ‘Imagine, heating that turns on at the flick of a switch. Let’s go back to the cottage.
At least there’ll be a fire there, as you say. ’
‘If you’re not going to take me seriously…
’ he began. I felt immediately awful for hurting his feelings, but his sudden change of sentiment had caught me off guard.
I was still processing everything I felt about the transition from 1755 to the 1800s.
I still felt lost, and I had no idea what to do next.
I was very aware that, despite the fact that I had ended up here with William, I was still alone in a sea of time, lost without any anchor to home.
And, I felt responsible for bringing him here, too.
It was at least half true that, because of me, William had lost everything.
If I had never appeared in his life, he wouldn’t be here now.
But, I couldn’t think like that. I hadn’t intentionally travelled to this time, and the things that had happened at Trevarron House in 1755 – the bad things that had happened, especially to Edith – were already happening without me being there.
I knew that, if anything, I’d tried to help.
But it was hard to remember that when William was so heartbroken, so lost and broken.
‘William. It’s not that I’m not taking you seriously. It will just take time. Can you give me time to tell you?’
‘Of course. I am trying to have an open mind. Believing that you are from another time, from the future, is a lot to understand. I feel… disconnected,’ he said, gruffly, but I knew he was trying to understand.
‘I know you do. All right. No, I’m not a maid in my own time, that was just something I had to do when I came to Trevarron. I had to be able to live somewhere while I worked out how to get home. Not that I did manage to.’ I sighed. ‘But, in my own time, I’m a student. At a university.’
‘A student? Of what?’
‘History.’ I gave him a wry grin. ‘If you can believe it.’
‘How strange… and you study for what reason?’ he asked. I could see that he was trying to understand.
‘To get a job I want. I wanted to work in historical research; maybe stay in academia. Maybe work at a museum. I suppose I didn’t think that I’d end up doing so much hands-on historical research,’ I said.
‘I don’t know if I’ll ever get home. I don’t know if I’ll ever finish my course.
Or what anyone thinks about me being gone.
I don’t know if there’s been a police investigation, if I’m a missing person…
’ I shrugged, trying not to let despair at my own helplessness get the better of me.
‘What strange times you live in. University? You mean Oxford or Cambridge?’ his brow furrowed. ‘I know that there are a couple in Scotland, too. But they don’t admit women. Or, at least they didn’t in my time,’ he added, nodding. ‘I suppose that has been a development?’
‘Very much so. Actually, in my time, there are lots of universities. In every city, and many towns. Not just Oxford and Cambridge. And all sorts of people study lots of different subjects, so they can get qualifications for jobs.’
‘So, everyone in your time works? At a job?’ William frowned.
‘Mostly. Unless they can’t for some reason, or they don’t have to, because they’re very wealthy.’
‘Do people still own estates? Like Trevarron?’ he asked. ‘Are there still lords?’
‘Yes. There are still lords and ladies. Still a royal family. But they’re not the only wealthy and powerful ones. Some people grow powerful from business or their jobs.’
‘Fascinating.’ William widened his eyes. ‘Edith would have loved to go to university.’
‘Yes, I can imagine that she would have.’ I nodded sadly, thinking of Edith Trevarron, William’s bright, kind sister.
‘Being away from your own time is terrible, but I found that it was also strangely beautiful,’ I added.
‘I met you, for one thing. And Edith. I never dreamed for a second that I’d be able to live in a different time in history.
It was an experience I’ll never forget—’
‘Edith. I cannot leave her with that animal!’ William interrupted me. ‘I have only just realised… if I am not there to forbid her marriage to Simon Favisham… or if I am not there to protect her at all, what will happen?’
‘I know. I don’t know what we can do about that. I’d far rather that she was here with us than be with him,’ I replied. ‘She would have been in danger. But…’ I didn’t want to say it; the truth that I knew would break his heart.
‘As would I. I left her in the hands of a monster before, Tegan. I cannot abandon her again.’ He stared at me, horror in his eyes. ‘Please tell me that you have a solution. We have to help Edith. We have to.’
‘William, it’s more than 100 years since 1755. Edith is… She is no longer with us, by now,’ I said, gently. I didn’t want to say the words Edith is dead.
But she was. Whatever awfulness her life had become without her elder brother to protect her, we had no way of helping her in 1867. We would have to go back to 1755 to do that, and I had no idea if it was even possible.
I thought of my dream. Perhaps I had been dreaming of Edith; trapped in a marriage she didn’t want. Perhaps it wasn’t me in the dream at all?
‘I don’t care. Bend time. Visit your portal.
Enact your sorcery. Whatever it takes, I need to protect her.
’ William’s voice was stony. ‘I will do as you ask, without question. I will accept a life without being a lord. I will forgive you for dragging me here, in time. I will wander the world in any time as a tramp, if that is what it takes. But, help me save Edith from a life with Simon Favisham. That is what I ask in return.’