Chapter 33
Chapter Thirty-Three
“Morgan?”
He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. The evidence of her departure was everywhere, in the half-packed trunks, in the traveling clothes laid out on the bed, in the way Mary had immediately stopped working and was now looking between them with barely concealed concern.
She is really leaving.
“I need—” His voice came out rough, strangled. “May I speak with you? Please? Alone?”
Eliza stared at him for a long moment. He watched her face cycle through surprise, confusion, and something that might have been hope before settling on careful neutrality.
“Mary,” she said quietly, not taking her eyes off Morgan. “Could you give us a moment, please?”
“Of course, Your Grace.” Mary curtsied quickly and hurried from the room, closing the door behind her with a soft click.
He’d rehearsed what to say during the frantic journey home, but now, faced with Eliza’s guarded expression and the damning evidence of her departure, every carefully planned word fled his mind.
“You’re leaving,” he said stupidly.
“Yes.”
“Because of me.”
“Yes.”
“I…” he started, then stopped as he rose to his feet and began to pace. He went to try again and coughed.
“Yes?”
“Eliza, I need to tell you… that is, I want to explain…”
The words tangled in his throat once more. All his usual eloquence, the charming facade he’d perfected over years of navigating society, was useless here. Worse than useless. Because this required something he’d never been good at. Raw, painful honesty.
Morgan took a shaky breath. “I was afraid. I am afraid. Have been, ever since…” He broke off, started over.
“When I saw that blade at your throat, when I thought I might lose you, it terrified me. Not the physical danger, but the realization of how much power you had over me. How completely you’d undone every defense I’d spent years building. ”
Eliza’s expression softened fractionally, but she said nothing. Just waited in silence.
“I’ve spent my entire adult life keeping people at a distance,” Morgan continued, the words coming faster now.
“After Cecilia, I promised myself I’d never be that vulnerable again.
Never give someone the power to destroy me.
And then you…” His voice cracked. “You walked into my life disguised as a maid, and somehow you slipped past every wall, every defense, every carefully constructed wall I’d built around my heart. ”
“Morgan…”
“Let me finish. Please.” He took another breath. “I told myself our marriage was practical then. A solution to a problem. That I was helping you, protecting you, but maintaining appropriate distance. But that was a lie. I fell in love with you, Eliza. Completely. Irrevocably.”
Tears were streaming down Eliza’s face now, but she didn’t interrupt.
“So, I did what I always do when I’m afraid,” Morgan said, his voice breaking.
“I ran. I pushed you away before you could leave me. I convinced myself that distance was safer than vulnerability, that loneliness was better than the risk of being hurt again.” He shook his head. “I was wrong. So devastatingly wrong.”
“You were cruel,” Eliza said, her voice shaking. “You made me feel like loving you was a burden. Like I was something you had to tolerate rather than someone you chose.”
“I know.” The words came out as barely a whisper. “And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry, Eliza. You deserved better. You deserved honesty and courage, and instead I gave you cowardice disguised as self-protection.”
“You broke my heart,” she said simply.
“I know. And I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make amends for that if you’ll let me.
I am at your mercy.” Morgan took a step closer, his hands trembling as he reached for hers.
She let him take them, but her fingers remained limp, unresponsive.
“I love you, Eliza. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone.
And I know I’ve given you no reason to believe me, no reason to trust me.
But I’m asking for a chance to prove it.
To spend every day for the rest of our lives showing you that I choose you.
That I want you. That loving you isn’t a weakness, it’s the bravest thing I’ve ever done. I am willing to beg if you require it.”
Eliza was quiet for a long moment, thick tears still streaming down her porcelain face. Morgan waited, his heart in his throat, afraid to breathe lest he shatter whatever fragile possibility might exist between them.
“Do you know why I’m leaving?” she asked finally.
“Because I hurt you. Because I made it impossible for you to stay.”
“Partly.” She pulled her hands from his, and Morgan felt his heart crack.
“But also, because I finally have the freedom I’ve been fighting for.
No parents forcing me into a marriage I don’t want.
No Whitfield threatening my life. No more running, no more hiding.
I can go anywhere, do anything. Live the life I’ve always dreamed of. ”
“You should,” Morgan said, even though the words felt like tearing out his own heart. “You deserve to see the world, to be free.”
“But what’s the point?” Eliza’s voice broke.
“What’s the point of freedom if I can’t share it with you?
What’s the point of seeing Paris or Rome or Vienna if you’re not there beside me?
” She pressed her hands to her face. “I love you, Morgan. Even after everything, even when I hate myself for it, I love you. And I don’t know how to stop. ”
“Don’t ever stop,” Morgan said desperately, reaching for her again. “Please, Eliza, don’t stop loving me. I know I don’t deserve it. I know I’ve done everything possible to destroy what we had. But if you can find it in yourself to forgive me, to give me another chance.”
“How do I know you won’t run again?” she demanded, looking up at him with red-rimmed eyes. “How do I know that the next time you’re afraid, you won’t push me away?”
“You don’t.” The admission was painful but necessary. “I can’t promise I won’t be afraid. I can’t promise I’ll always be brave. But I can promise that I’ll fight the fear. That I’ll choose you over my cowardice. That I’ll never again let my fear of losing you drive me to push you away.”
“Words are easy, Morgan.”
“Then let me show you.” He cupped her face in his hands, desperate for her to see the truth in his eyes. “Let me prove it to you. Every day, for the rest of our lives. I’ll be the man you deserve. The husband you need. I’ll—”
Eliza surged forward and kissed him. It was desperate, messy, tear-stained and nothing like their usual kisses.
It was real. Raw. Honest. Morgan kissed her back with everything he had, pouring all his love, his regret, his desperate hope into it as their tongues met.
His hands tangled in her hair as hers clutched at his shoulders, pulling him closer until they were impossibly close.
“I love you,” he gasped between kisses.
“Show me,” she whispered against his lips. “Don’t tell me. Show me.”
Morgan swept her into his arms, carrying her to the bed and laying her down gently among the traveling clothes. His hands trembled as he undressed her, as he traced every curve and hollow he’d memorized and then tried so hard to forget.
“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, pressing kisses to her throat, where the scar was beginning to fade, her collarbone, the swell of her breasts. “So beautiful. And I was such a fool to think I could live without this. Without you.”
Eliza no longer had conscious control of her body’s movements, and so her hands worked at his clothes with equal urgency. Soon, they were skin to skin, nothing left between them.
“I cannot wait,” he rasped against her throat. “I need you. Now.”
When Morgan entered her, it felt like coming home. He moved slowly, tenderly, his forehead pressed to hers. She watched every expression that crossed his face as they made urgent love.
“I love you,” he said, timing the words to his movements as she felt herself nearing the edge. “I choose you. I want you. I’m yours.”
“Morgan,” she gasped, her nails digging into his back. “I choose you. I want you. I’m yours.”
“We’ll be brave together,” he said, kissing away the tears that leaked from the corners of her eyes.
When they came apart, it was together. With her name on his lips, his on hers, their bodies and hearts and souls aligned in a way that felt like a promise. Like a vow more binding than anything they’d said in that chapel. Afterward, Morgan held her close, his face buried in her hair.
“Don’t leave,” he whispered. “Please don’t leave me, Eliza.”
“I won’t.” Her voice was thick with emotion.
“I promise. No more running. No more hiding.” He pulled back to look at her, his thumb tracing the line of her jaw.
“And if you still want to travel, if you still want to see Europe, then we’ll go together.
I’ll take you to Paris and Rome and Vienna and anywhere else you want to go. We’ll see the world together.”
Eliza smiled through her tears. “I’d like that.”
“And if I start to pull away again, I need you to call me on it. To remind me that loving you is worth the risk.”
“I can do that.” She pressed her palm to his chest, over his heart. “We’ll figure it out. Together.”
“Together,” Morgan agreed, covering her hand with his. “I like the sound of that.”
They lay tangled together among the half-packed trunks and traveling clothes. For the first time in weeks, Eliza felt the terrible weight in her soul begin to lift in his soft gaze.
“I love you,” he whispered into the growing darkness as the sun began to set.
“I love you too,” Eliza whispered back. “Even when you’re being an idiot.”
Morgan laughed, a real laugh, the first in weeks. “Especially when I’m being an idiot, I hope. Because Ambrose assures me it’s a recurring condition.”
“Then it’s a good thing I’m patient.”
“And far too good for me.”
“Yes, well.” Eliza snuggled closer. “You’re lucky I have terrible taste in men.”
“Man. One man.”
“Yes, one man. The worst.”
Morgan agreed, pressing a kiss to her temple. “The absolute worst.”
And there, in the wreckage of her attempted departure, surrounded by pieces of the life she’d been ready to build without him, they began again.
He reached out, his hand trembling slightly before finding its mark.
He traced his fingertips along the delicate ridge of her collarbone, his touch as light as a whisper but as searing as a brand.
He moved with agonizing slowness, mapping her as if for the first time, trailing upward until he reached her earlobe.
“I adore you,” he whispered as he wrapped his lips around her earlobe.
His touch drifted down to the curve of her shoulders, then swept along the sensitive underside of her arms, tracing up and down in a rhythmic, hypnotic motion.
She was hopelessly entranced. The tiny hairs on her body stood on end at the sensation, electricity humming between them.
She gasped softly, the sound catching in her throat, and arched her back to meet him.
“And I need you,” Eliza replied sweetly, kissing him softly.
“Your wish is my command, Duchess.”
Morgan delicately eased her out of her clothes, and she savored each sensation as he touched her skin.
Soon she was naked on the bed beside him, and he trailed his fingers across her tight belly then up to her full breasts, heavy and yearning for his touch.
He fondled the soft buds as she stifled a hiss, arching her back up at the contact.
He kissed her on the mouth then, sliding his tongue inside, hungry and wanting.
“Oh, how I missed this,” he growled as he palmed more eagerly. “I need to taste all of you. Now.”
He moved down quickly, planting kisses down her body until he reached her legs.
He parted them wide and placed his mouth on her slick folds as he darted his tongue in and out, lapping up each bit of her excitement.
He took both hands and grabbed her buttocks, palming her cheeks and pulling her close.
She took her hands and put them in his hair, holding on for strength as she began to unravel fast and hard.
“I need you,” she whimpered, her head moving from side to side as she cried out.
“You’ve got me,” he said, looking up only for a moment before he continued kissing her, inserting two fingers and filling her as he began sucking on her needy nub.
“More,” she cried. “More. All of you.”
He didn’t say another word. He stood up from the bed and undressed quickly, giving her full view of his perfectly chiseled chest and strong arms. He was so excited, holding himself to display just how much, and she licked her lips. That was all he needed.
He crawled onto the bed and brought himself up to her mouth.
He eased himself in, letting only the tip go past her lips as she sucked deep and hard.
She moaned as she began taking him, licking and sucking as best as she could.
All she wanted to do was to please him, to feel him grow harder inside of her mouth.
He began to slip in further and he quickly pulled out.
“Is something wrong?” she asked softly as he began to lower himself.
“I can’t wait another moment. I need to be inside of you,” he whispered back.
He flipped her over onto her stomach and drove himself inside her, hard and strong, in a single motion.
He repeated it slowly, pushing himself inside of her as if it was a dance.
Each movement brought her closer to the edge once more, closer to a feeling of bliss she didn’t think possible.
She had lost herself in the stars behind her eyes, his thrusts hitting parts of her she didn’t know existed deep in her belly.
Then, he spanked her, light but assertive. Strong. Possessive.
“Is that too much, my girl?” he cried as he gave one more playful smack. “Or can you take all of me? Are you ready to explore my treasure trove? Can I show you my every fantasy?”
“Yes,” she rasped as her fingers dug into the eiderdown. “I want to be your everything.”
“Good,” he said as he gave one more light spank and brought her home. “You already are.”
After they had unraveled and savored a lavish supper in bed, they were ready for much needed rest. And there, in the safety of each other’s arms, in the home they’d continue to build together, wrapped in a blanket of love and hope and the promise of tomorrow, the two fell asleep.
Two people who’d been broken and afraid. Two people who’d found the courage to love despite the risk. Two people who’d choose each other, persevere when times would be hard. Especially when it was hard. And who would continue choosing each other, for all the days and years to come.