Chapter 33 #2
Tai’s gaze brands my soul. “My parents will love you, Evangeline.” His voice, his touch, the look in his eyes—all are an invitation to accept what he’s offering to me. “Because I love you.”
I’d hoped he’d say it. I’d known, hadn’t I, that those would be the next words to come out of his mouth. I love you. I should have been prepared.
But nothing would have made me ready for the overwhelming surge of emotions that hearing those three little words would bring forth from the core of my being.
I love you might as well have been a sledgehammer to the protective shell around my heart, cracking it open and releasing every hurt feeling, every doubt, every suppressed longing and quashed hope.
Each bubble to the surface comes in suffocating waves, forcing me to feel all the things all at once that I refused to acknowledge until now.
I gasp as a deep, silent sob sticks in my throat, my shoulders shuddering and my eyes welling. There’s no blinking back these tears. They’re marching forward with reinforcements right behind them, an onslaught against my defenses.
Tai’s own eyes widen in alarm. “Angel?”
What must the poor man think? He tells me he loves me and instead of answering with a sane response of I love you too—what he was probably hoping for and what I’m pretty sure is somewhere within this whirlpool of feelings currently creating a vortex in my chest cavity—he gets a blubbering mess of a woman who can’t even squeak out a coherent word past the choking sobs caught in her throat.
I’ve done nothing but push Tai away. What if he thinks my reaction—my snotty nose and leaking eyes and uncontrollable crying—is another rejection?
My hands shoot out, and I grab fistfuls of his shirt in a death grip. He’ll have to pry the cotton out of each of my fingers if he wants to get away. Once I can catch my breath, I’ll tell him . . . tell him . . .
“Ah, sweetheart.” His voice nearly breaks. He gathers me to his chest and hugs me tight. “Shh. It’s okay. You are loved. Let it out. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
It hurts. To face the image of myself I’ve let develop in my mind.
My insecurities and vulnerabilities. To grieve what I thought I’d lost. It hurts, but the tears are cleansing.
The sharp, stabbing pain lessens to a dull ache.
I’m able to shudder in deeper breaths. With each exhale, the voices in my head—Brett’s, society’s—grow fainter.
Now that they aren’t shouting at me, drowning everything else out, I hear something else.
Faint but familiar. A steady beat like my own heart.
You are loved. You are loved.
Tai said the same thing, but this is different. Deeper. Ancient. Not a romantic love, but a never-ending, never fading, eternal, supernatural type of love.
“God has never stopped wooing you, Evangeline. He is the lover and romancer of your soul.”
Tears course down my cheeks. Not in grief or sadness but in healing. The weight that has crushed me for so long has lifted, and I’m floating. I’m like a phoenix rising from the ashes of my past pain, ready to fly again with hope and renewed strength.
And I know just where to start my flight.
I pull away from Tai’s chest, his arms loosening their hold to allow my movement. A wet patch darkens his shirt where the material absorbed my tears. I’ll apologize for that later. Right now, there are more important things to say.
Tai’s brows are drawn down in concern.
“Tai.” Emotion still clogs my throat, but I croak past it.
As soon as I say his name, his eyes jump and lock onto mine.
Words seem like an inadequate conveyance for my feelings, but they’re all I have.
Hopefully they’ll be enough. “Thank you for seeing me clearly when I couldn’t see myself.
For speaking truth to me when I could only hear the lies.
For never giving up on me and showing me what it means for my heart to be intentionally pursued.
You’ve given me your strength when I’ve been weak and hope when I’d all but given up. Tai Albert Davis—”
Tai’s face lights up at my use of his middle name. I’ve never let my tongue curl around the syllables before, while he never misses an opportunity to remind me of mine—of ours, really.
My palms run up his chest, my fingers interlocking behind his neck. “I’m in love with you too.”
He smirks, his expression toeing the line just this side of gloating. “Albert and Victoria. I told you it was meant to be.”
I huff out a laugh as I bring my hands forward to frame his face. “Shut up and kiss me.”
“Your wish is my command, Madam Librarian.”
I roll my eyes, but as soon as Tai’s lips touch mine, my lids slide shut.
Everything else fades away; the freestanding shelves of periodicals surrounding us, the low-pile square-patterned carpet under out feet.
I’m transported to a place that transcends time and space.
There’s just me and Tai and this kiss that romance writers wish they could capture on the page.
It’s heat and heart. Passion and devotion.
A culmination, while at the same time just a beginning.
A throat clears behind us, and I jump away guiltily. I am, after all, on the clock, and this is a public library.
“Looks like the matchmaking librarian has finally met her own match.”