Chapter 27
AFTER LEAVING GAbrIEL in the conservatory, Ella walked back to her bedchamber with her heart alive with what she’d just experienced.
Gabriel cared for her. She felt it in his touch. She saw it in his eyes and heard it in his voice.
Her mind hardly knew where to land. A strange, almost dizzy sensation overtook her. She worried for her friend, but at the same time, an enticing vision of a new future for herself formed.
She arrived at her chamber door and opened it, expecting that Mrs. Chatterly had prepared her room for bed. Instead, she was stunned to find Phoebe frantically pacing the space.
The moment Phoebe saw Ella at the door, she rushed toward her. Tears stained her pale cheeks. Her red-rimmed eyes were swollen. “I know what you must be thinking.”
Ella’s nerves tightened at the impending conversation, and she closed the door behind her.
Her shock at what she’d encountered and how vilely she’d been treated was still fresh.
She wanted to be sympathetic and understanding, but Mr. Bauer’s coldness erased any ounce of compassion she could muster for them as a couple.
Garnering her patience, Ella placed the journals she’d brought with her on the small table next to the bed and turned to face her friend. “I assure you, there is no way you could possibly know what I’m thinking. I don’t even know what I am thinking anymore, Phoebe.”
“He’s so kind to me, Ella,” Phoebe exclaimed in a transparent, desperate attempt to sway her. “He loves me! I know you don’t believe me, but it is true.”
A dozen cynical retorts filled Ella’s mind. Why then did he ignore her in group settings? If he really loved Phoebe, why would he be so harsh to her best friend?
“Please say something.” Phoebe faltered, her voice shaky as she laced her fingers together before her. “Your silence is making me nervous.”
Ella rubbed her forehead as she considered her response and sank onto the chair next to the fire.
“I can’t say I understand what you are doing.
You know that I desire nothing more than for you to be happy, but I must ask: Have you two had a real conversation about the future?
Alone? Has he asked about your opinions?
Has he asked about you—what you like? Dislike?
Does he listen to you, or has he only told you things you want to hear? ”
“I-it isn’t like that,” Phoebe stammered, fidgeting with her fingers. “It isn’t.”
“Isn’t it? Oh, Phoebe.” Ella motioned for her friend to join her in the opposite chair. “I beg you. Do not let your admiration or infatuation blind you to truths.”
“Truths?” Phoebe shot back, as if suddenly spurred, before she perched on the edge of the indicated chair. “I’m not blinded. Give me a little credit. I’m fully aware of Mr. Bauer’s virtues and his shortcomings. I’m trusting my intuition. Isn’t that what you always say?”
Ella twitched at how Phoebe misconstrued her past words.
Tears pooled afresh in Phoebe’s eyes. “My time is running out, Ella. Father very well might marry Miss Sutton. The last thing he will want is a grown daughter living under his roof when he’s trying to start a new life. And then what of me?”
At this Ella’s heart softened, for she did understand the fear that came with this transition.
To be without security was the greatest concern of any woman she knew, for how could they survive without someone to provide for them?
“All I ask is that you do not let fear rule you. You’re far too intelligent for that. Just don’t act . . . rashly.”
“Rashly?” Phoebe’s tone sharpened. “That seems rich coming from you. You—who speaks of intuition. You—who justifies every statement and action by claiming intuition, yet you do not respect it in your friends.”
The hurtful words burned. Not wishing to add fuel to Phoebe’s ire, Ella steadied her tone. “I’m not in an ideal situation either, Phoebe. We all face uncertainty at some point.”
Phoebe crossed her arms over her chest. The sorrow she’d displayed just moments prior had morphed into something darker, something more defensive.
“You say that, but your actions say something different. You’re doing everything you can to avoid change, not to mention you’re the only person present who seems intent upon finding fault with Thomas.
You are supposed to be my friend, but you feel like an enemy. ”
Ella stood from the chair. She would not argue with Phoebe. Not over Mr. Bauer. “I think the best thing for both of us is to get a good night’s sleep. Perhaps we should talk about this in the morning.”
Phoebe stood and, without another word, stomped from the chamber.
With an exhausted sigh Ella dropped atop her bed and stared at the deep blue canopy above her. Even though she was now alone, Phoebe’s harsh words still echoed in the silence.
And they hurt.
Ella loved Phoebe, but her friend was unrecognizable.
A few minutes later Mrs. Chatterly appeared in the doorway with her round face drawn in confusion. “I just passed Miss Hawthorne in the corridor. Was she crying?”
She nodded, and as Mrs. Chatterly stepped farther into the room and closed the door behind her, Ella’s words poured out.
She could not have stopped them if she wanted to.
She shared everything that she knew about Phoebe’s romance, from when Phoebe told her about their attachment, to seeing them in an embrace, to Mr. Bauer’s threat, to Gabriel’s suggestion to inform Mr. Hawthorne of their suspicions.
“Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe everything she is saying is right about me, but this entire situation is not right. ”
After listening silently, Mrs. Chatterly sat next to Ella, just like she had dozens of times over the last decade.
She smoothed a piece of hair away from Ella’s face in a maternal sort of affection.
“People fall in love all the time, don’t they?
Maybe what Miss Hawthorne feels for Mr. Bauer is genuine, but I do find it odd that she would have affections for a person capable of speaking to someone the way he spoke to you. ”
“Phoebe has always been trusting and naive, but how can she not see the truth about him? It’s so obvious.”
“People see what they want to see. Phoebe is telling herself that his perceived attributes outweigh anything negative.”
With a sigh Ella lay back against the bed and propped her head on her hand. “Did you ever meet Mr. Bauer when you traveled with my mother?”
Mrs. Chatterly moved to draw the curtains over one of the windows. “It’s possible I encountered him at one point or another, but I can’t remember for certain. Your mother was always so fascinated by those sorts of people, but they were a strange lot.”
It was odd to hear Mrs. Chatterly speak any criticism whatsoever of her mother. “Strange? How so?”
Mrs. Chatterly shook her head. “They just thought and spoke differently than other people—as if in a world all their own.”
“So what do you think of Mr. Bauer? You’ve seen him several times now. Do you agree with me?”
Mrs. Chatterly drew the curtains over the second window.
“I haven’t interacted with him at all, but I know you, and I trust your judgment.
Your father is a good man, but he can be blind to certain details when his mind is fixed on a particular outcome.
But here we are spending all this time speaking of Miss Hawthorne and Mr. Bauer when you are the one I’m concerned about. ”
“Me?” Ella blinked, straightening. “Whatever for?”
“You speak of the matters of Phoebe’s heart, yet I don’t want you to neglect your own.” Mrs. Chatterly smiled softly and returned to sit again with Ella on the bed. “I saw you and Mr. Rowe out walking today. You looked happy.”
At the memory of her hand in his while they were in the conservatory, warmth suffused her face. Her practical side wanted to conceal the giddiness bubbling within her at the mere mention of his name. But why should she hide it from Mrs. Chatterly?
“How did I never know that someone like him could exist? It seems like all of a sudden everyone is trying to tell me what to think and do, but he is different. He asks what I think. He’s only been at Keatley Hall for a few days, yet I already feel a closeness with him unlike I have ever felt before.
It defies logic, but I am more like myself around him than any other person here.
Is that absurd? Perhaps I am the one misreading a situation and only seeing attributes that I want to see, not Phoebe. ”
“Oh, my darling.” Mrs. Chatterly chuckled and patted Ella’s hand.
“That is the great mystery of romantic love, is it not? That is the unexplainable element that no amount of reasoning or research or practicality can prepare you for. It is elusive, and so many spend their entire lives searching for it. Or worse yet, some encounter it and are unwilling to embrace it. If Mr. Rowe is as supportive as you say, if he captures your imagination and makes you feel alive, then do not resist it. There is no greater respect a man can give a woman than to encourage her to be the person she truly is, not what society tells her she should be. Come now. Let’s get you to bed. ”
After the bed was prepared, the fire was stoked, and Mrs. Chatterly departed for the night, Ella retrieved one of the journals and leaned closer to the candles on the side of her bed to read. She could almost hear her mother’s steady, measured voice reading aloud.
Until something caught her eye.
The name Thomas Bauer.
Ella sat up straight at the discovery. Had she never read this volume? She double-checked the dates. It was from an earlier year, from before her mother’s opinions on phrenology began to change.
Mr. Bauer is the most unusual man, with a strange propensity to smack his lips when he is anxious or drum his fingers on the table. But it is his eyes that make him seem the most intense—they are the most unique shade of blue.
Ella froze.
Blue.
How had she not noticed this detail before?
Thomas Bauer—Phoebe’s suitor and the current phrenological expert—had dark, coffee-hued eyes and dark hair.
Her heart thudded as her thoughts dashed to draw conclusions.
Could it be possible that her mother got it wrong?
It seemed highly unlikely. Her mother noticed everything. About everyone. Eye color certainly would not be something she would mistake.
But what did it mean? Her mind mapped the possible outcomes.
Was it possible that Mr. Bauer was not who he claimed to be? Surely not, for he was a phrenological expert. There weren’t many people who understood the art.
The discovery did not make sense and left her with more questions than answers, but even so, a fresh fervor surged through her. Ella did not know what would come of this newfound revelation, but she knew exactly who she needed to talk to.