46. Zeke
Zeke
Today has been one of the best days of my life. My brothers and I split the day, making sure our girl was in a great mood before what we have to do tonight.
Jay planned his morning and they had a picnic breakfast at the lake.
Eli took charge of the afternoon and they went to a bookstore, where he bought her everything she could fit into the bag he gave her.
And now she’s all mine. I chose for us to be lazy so she could relax before dinner.
So it was popcorn and a movie. A real tear jerker— Voicemails for Isabel.
I have to say, for a girlie movie, it’s good.
I sit at one end of the couch with Selena’s feet stretched across my lap, my thumbs working slow circles into the arches of her feet. She's half-curled against the cushions, one hand absently resting over the small swell of her stomach.
Our babies.
I still can't quite wrap my head around it. Two tiny lives growing beneath my fingertips every time I touch her. We’re going to be freaking dads. Responsible for two little lives for the next eighteen plus years.
I knead gently at the ball of her foot, smiling when she lets out that little sigh that tells me I found the sore spot.
"Better?"
"Mmm." Her eyes stay closed. "Much. I can’t believe how much they’ve been bothering me lately. I’m so lucky to have the best foot masseur in the world."
I can’t help but grin. Any time I can have my hands on Selena, I’m the lucky one. I knew she was special the moment I saw her sitting at the bar. Just never could have imagined she’d be the love of my life and the mother of my children.
I've discovered that pregnancy apparently turns feet into instruments of torture. If rubbing them gets me this peaceful expression on her face, I'll happily spend every evening doing it. Hell, I’ll do it even when she isn’t pregnant.
My gaze drifts to her stomach.
It's there now. Not obvious to anyone who doesn't know, maybe. But to me, it's impossible to miss. She's finally starting to show. The curve of her belly pushing against her shirt is just enough to make my chest tighten every single time I see it.
Her constant morning sickness has eased enough that she's finally keeping food down.
The color has returned to her cheeks, and she's put back on some of the weight she'd lost during those miserable first months. Those months when we didn’t know she was carrying our children.
I hate that she suffered in silence, too afraid to tell us.
Scared of what our parents and society would think.
I rest one hand over her ankle while the other continues its slow massage.
"I've been thinking," I start.
She cracks one eye open and smiles. "Oh no!” She gasps in gest. “You thinking is a dangerous thing."
I snort.
"Usually you’d be right. But this time I beg to differ.” I give her ankle a gentle squeeze.
"I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. So tell me, what have you been thinking about?"
"Our babies."
Her entire face softens.
"My favorite subject to talk about." She smiles and I can’t help but do the same. I love how she lights up when we bring up the babies.
"Mine too." I rub my thumb over the top of her foot. "I'm really glad we decided not to find out."
She tilts her head, her brow creasing in confusion before it dawns on her what I meant. "About the sex?"
I nod.
"I thought you were dying to know. We had to practically convince you how excited we’d be to find out at the actual birth."
"I was and I still am." I look down at the gentle rise of her stomach. "But... I don't know." I shrug. "I keep imagining that moment when we finally find out what they are.”
"I think it'll make it even more special." She’s glowing and I love it.
"It will.” I clear my throat. “Have you thought about names?"
"You say that like I'd just pick them myself. That I wouldn’t let you have any say in it." Selena laughs as she takes her free foot and gives my leg a light kick.
"Are you telling me you haven’t thought about it once? That you don’t have a list somewhere with names jotted down on it?”
"I absolutely do not," she gasps.
"Liar." I give her foot a shake.
She nudges my leg with her toes.
"I haven't picked anything."
"No?"
She shakes her head. "That's not something I'd decide alone. Not without the three of you."
God, she doesn’t realize how when she says little things like that, it affects me.
"This is ours," she continues softly. "Everything about them is ours."
I squeeze her foot gently.
"But..." She smiles. "If one of them is a boy..." She hesitates for a moment, like she’s making sure what she’s about to say won’t upset me. "I'd love to name him after my dad."
"I'd love that too." I know how important it is to her. My brothers and I have even talked amongst ourselves about how we’d love to honor her father by naming one of our children after him.
She looks down at her belly, her hand rubbing ever so lightly over the tiny swell.
"And if one of them is a girl." Her eyes lift to mine. "I'd love to name her after your mom."
For a moment I forget how to breathe. Tears blur my vision and all I want to do is wrap this amazing woman in my arms and never let go.
"You'd really want that?"
She reaches across the couch until her fingers find mine. "She raised an incredible man. Three amazing men, to be exact. I only wish I had the chance to meet her. For her to see our babies born.”
"She would have loved you.” My lips tremble as I speak.
"I hope so."
"No." I squeeze her hand. "I know so."
My heart feels too big for my chest. The woman I love wants to honor my mother. A woman she never even got the chance to meet.
"I couldn't love you more, Selena. Meeting and falling in love with you is the best thing that has happened to me. Being able to share you with my brothers is something I never expected but am so thankful for."
"I couldn't love you more either." Then her nose wrinkles. "But..."
I narrow my eyes.
"I don't like that but."
"If you really loved me, you'd fake being sick so we could get out of dinner with our parents."
I bark out a laugh.
"I'd take a knife to the heart to do that for you. But we need to get it over and done with so that we don’t have to think about it anymore.” I lean forward and kiss the top of her foot.
"I know." She blows out a long breath. "I'm just..." She looks at me helplessly. "I'm so happy right now. And I know once we show up at their house and tell them, the mood is going to change."
I know exactly what she means. My jaw tightens for half a second. Selena’s mom is a woman who, as far as I can tell, has never understood what family is supposed to mean.
"We won't let her."
"You say that with a lot of confidence for someone who has met my mother and heard the vile things she can say.”
"If she says one thing out of line, my brothers and I will put a stop to it.” A smile tugs at her lips. "We're not letting anyone take the joy of our news from us. Not tonight. Not ever.”
I refuse to spend the next hour letting dinner cast a shadow over the afternoon. So I steer us somewhere much better.
"Okay."
She raises an eyebrow.
"Back to important business."
"Oh?"
"So..." I resume kneading her foot. "What if we have two boys?"
She laughs.
“What? This is a serious question,” I tell her. “Same if we have two girls. We need to be prepared.”
"Well, they did have middle names."
I grin.
"That they did. Well, at least I know my mom did. Can’t say for sure about your dad."
We both start laughing. The sound fills the room, forcing every thought of tonight into the background. My hands continue their slow rhythm over her feet while my eyes drift back to where her hands rest protectively over her belly.
She's fucking beautiful. Not because she's carrying our children. Simply because she's her.
I lean forward and press a kiss against the center of her stomach.
"I don't care who you two are," I murmur to the tiny lives growing beneath my lips. "Boys. Girls. One of each. I already love you more than you'll ever know, and I can’t wait to meet you."
When I look up at Selena, her eyes are filled with tears. Not ones of sadness but happiness.
She reaches out, letting her fingers slide through my hair.
"They're going to know how much they’re loved by their parents. Boys or girls, they’ll never know anything but love.”
I smile.
"I'll spend the rest of my life making sure they do."