Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
WESTON
Bella had been quiet ever since her father’s letter, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do to make it better.
There was no making this better. Her father had always been an asshole.
Everybody in town had known it, we just hadn’t known the full depth of his assholeness until he’d finally died.
And with every newly unveiled secret, he just got even worse.
How he could attack Bella from the grave with nearly the exact thing she was worrying about, tore at me.
The man had known exactly where to tear her down, highlighting the insecurities she tried to overcome—and the ones that plagued my mind when it came to a future together.
Bella had a whole career, a life down in Denver.
And I was in love with her. In love with Isabella Cage Dixon.
I was at my kid sister’s high school graduation. The ties that bound me here in the first place were slowly leaving. So I could find a way to live in Denver or any of the surrounding suburbs. If Bella wanted to work full-time at Cage Enterprises, I would find a way to make it work.
I wasn’t about to let her think that she had to give up one thing for another. Not like I had the first time without talking to her. I wasn’t going to make that stupid mistake again.
“Bruh, you paying attention?”
I looked over at Lance, shaking myself and my thoughts “What?”
“It’s almost the girls’ time. Aren’t you going to record this?”
I cursed under my breath and pulled out my phone as the principal called out their names.
“Samantha Robin Caldwell.”
Samantha skipped across the stage, tears sliding down her face.
However, with the wide grin there, I knew it wasn’t about terror like what was running in my veins.
She dashed off the stage after smiling and waving and I held up my phone, trying not to let my hands shake in excitement.
And then she jumped into Mason’s arms since he had been two ahead of her.
The crowd cheered, and I rolled my eyes.
“Seriously?” I mumbled.
Bella leaned into me, clapping along with the others. “He punched somebody for her. And though violence is never the answer, she probably thought it was hot.”
“Please don’t say things like that. Especially because I’m recording this,” I said.
Bella let out a laugh. “Oops.” And for the first time since the kitchen I saw humor in her gaze. Not the confusion and downright despair that had been etched over her features before.
“Sydney Anastasia Caldwell.”
Sydney lifted her chin but had no smile on her face. Instead she prowled across the stage as if she would be queen and these were her subjects. And when she took the diploma from her principal, she finally smiled.
Then she turned to the crowd and held up both hands.
“The Caldwells did it!”
The crowd roared.
This time I truly rolled my eyes.
“I love her,” Bella whispered.
Another kick to the gut.
It was so easy to say things like that, the fact that she loved my family.
Well why couldn’t I say the damn words that meant everything.
I nearly opened my mouth to say something, but we were drowned out by shouts and calls from other family members. I slid my phone into my pocket and inhaled deeply through my nose.
“We should talk after this.”
She looked up at me, startled. “You’re right. We do need to talk.”
My stomach fell, and I swallowed hard. Was she going to take her father’s words to heart? This couldn’t be over. We weren’t going to let another damn note ruin us.
I somehow made it stoically through the rest of the graduation, but I wanted to be anywhere but there.
The girls were going to meet us later, and Lance was headed off with Joshua and Hudson for something.
I wasn’t sure what they were planning, but all I could do was focus on what I needed to say to Bella.
I was ready to leave. Leave this town that I loved, the people who had somehow become my family.
Because Bella was my future. She was going to be my family.
Only I had no idea if she even wanted that. She had a whole damn life without me. I’d left her once before and I wasn’t sure she wanted or could take me back beyond what we had. We’d never made any promises, and for all I knew, this was temporary.
She was ready to walk away.
I knew it.
And I could only blame myself.
“You want to go for a walk?” I asked, gesturing toward the edge of the lake. The Cages held most of the property and rented out homes to residents who wanted to live there permanently. So we wouldn’t be trespassing no matter where we went.
“Okay. A walk would be good.”
She sounded as distracted as I felt, so I squeezed her hand, and we made our way down the path.
The trees surrounding us were at full bloom, the allergies scratching my eyes.
The lake itself shown bright blue underneath the sunlight, and in the distance the sound of the river winding through the passage filled the canyon.
“We’re only a couple of miles from where I first saw you again,” I said after a moment, realizing that we were indeed close to the mountain that she had nearly fallen down. It wasn’t exactly Champagne Peak, but it had been tall enough to terrify me.
“It seems like so long ago the ground literally gave way under my feet. And yet sometimes it feels like it’s constantly doing that.”
“I hate how we met again, but I’m glad for it.”
“Me too. Really glad for it.”
“Bella,” I began, not sure what to say.
“I need to go back to the city,” she blurted.
I blinked, feeling as though I’d been kicked in the gut, my hands shaking. “What?”
“I’ve been here for a couple of months now. Far longer than I was planning. And I love it here. I truly do.”
“Are you serious?” I whispered, my voice cold.
“I left so many things unsettled at home. I came here to breathe, to try to find my peace. I had had panic attack after a panic attack, especially after the mugging. And I can finally breathe again.”
“So just like that, you’re going to leave Cage Lake. You’re going to leave me.”
Her brow furrowed. “No. Not just like that.”
I wasn’t listening. Not really. No, I could only hear the fact she was leaving even while something inside screamed for me to tell her the truth. “I’m glad you’re telling me this. So you’re not even going to ask me to go with you?”
She took a step back. “That’s not what I’m saying at all.”
“So you just made this decision? You’re going to listen to your dad and you’re not even going to talk to me about it?” I knew I needed to stop talking but I just blurted words that didn’t make any sense.
“I’m trying to talk to you about it.”
I shook my head, bile coating my tongue. “Is this payback? Because I left you with a note? You’re at least going to leave me with a kind word? Are you serious? Just like that, you’re going to leave?”
“I need to fix a few things. Weston. It’s not like that.” She fisted her hands at her side, not reaching out. She couldn’t touch me. Didn’t want to. No wonder she was ready to leave.
“Just go. If all of this was so you could breathe, I’m glad you can. But if there’s no reason for you to stay, no reason for you to ask me to go? Then just leave.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she took a staggered step back. “That’s not what I meant at all. But if you aren’t even going to give me the decency to tell you what I was thinking, then fine. Stand in your self-righteousness. But I fucking love you, Weston Caldwell. And I wasn’t leaving you.”
I blinked, the roaring in my ears intensifying. “You love me?”
“Of course I love you. Or at least I thought I did.”
I was a fucking idiot. Why the hell did I have to keep ruining things? “Bella. I’m sorry, I...”
“No. You can stand there, and you can treat me like shit, but I don’t have to take it. I’m leaving tonight. I have a few things to take care of.”
“Bella.”
“No. I’m so angry right now, I can’t even listen to you.”
And with that, she stormed away, and I realized I had once again made one of the worst mistakes of my life.
I had broken Bella’s heart.
Again.
And this time I’d done it on purpose to save myself.
Like a fucking coward.
I stood there for way too long before the sound of approaching footsteps made me whirl. A familiar face nearly calmed my heart, but the relief was short lived. “Hudson. You scared the shit out of me.”
“You’re lucky I don’t beat the shit out of you.” From the glare in his eyes, I had a feeling that mine and Bella’s shouts had echoed over the lake.
“It’s not what you think.”
“What, that my best friend is an idiot who doesn’t realize that if he actually uses his words, he won’t be an asshole?”
“That’s an odd thing for you to say. Since you never speak,” I snapped back.
“No. We’re not going to talk about me. You’re going to go after Bella and you’re going to tell her how you feel. Because if you would have listened to what she said, because the whole fucking lake heard it, you would have heard her saying she needed to fix a few things. Not leave forever.”
I opened my mouth, and then closed it again. She hadn’t said she was leaving forever. I had just steamrolled right over her. Like her father.
“Oh shit.”
“Fucker. You know that she’s been working for Cage Enterprises this whole time, right?
And she’s been taking over the parts of the job that I hate.
That I’m not even trained to do. Hell, I got a business degree so I could do some of that shit when I lived at the lake, but it’s not my job.
Her living here would fix so many things.
And maybe if you would just let her speak, you wouldn’t be in this predicament. ”
I knew all this. I knew it. But I’d been too scared to see the truth.
I’d been ready to tell her I loved her, but was so fucking afraid she wouldn’t love me back that I pushed her away before she could do it first. What the hell was wrong with me?
I deserved a punch to the face. Even from my best friend. “I should go after her.”