Chapter 5
Chapter Five
“You look particularly radiant today, dear Lucy,” Joshua declared at breakfast, making her look at him incredulously. “But there’s something else. You almost look a little too delicate.”
“Too delicate?” Lucy echoed.
Her brother liked to compliment her, then he would take a few steps back and give her a reason to stay inside the house more. That was the way he was. Still, she was curious to know if she indeed looked weak and delicate after a late night. She didn’t want him to suspect something was afoot.
“Yes, it would seem so. You need to be protected,” Joshua confirmed, his eyes now fixed on his newspaper.
Of course, he would say that. He would make her feel good about her appearance, and then he would make sure that she understood that she only belonged in Marsleigh because she was too delicate.
She wondered what he’d think about her venturing to a male escort’s house, too close to knocking on his door.
“Joshua, you know that I am fully well. I had a hard time sleeping last night because I believe I do not have enough exercise,” she said, trying not to sound exasperated but also wanting him to feel her discontent.
“You should allow me more time outdoors, in the fresh air. Last night, the wind had almost become a stranger, and it made a branch tap by my window restlessly.”
“Mmm,” was all Joshua said as he rested his newspaper and proceeded to spread butter on his toast. The scratching on the bread sounded louder than usual.
Perhaps she was falling ill.
For a moment, there was almost complete silence between them as her brother enjoyed his buttered toast. Lucy looked at her eggs and began slicing them into tiny pieces before forking bits into her mouth.
When Joshua finally looked up, he stared at her. She thought that it was probably her chewing. She felt a little self-conscious, eating more slowly. However, she wondered what was happening as his gaze trailed over her, as if examining her.
What was her brother doing? Looking for a flaw in a delicate-looking woman like her?
Then, he rested his fork on his plate, rose from his seat, and walked toward her. He leaned close, enough for her to smell his breath. It smelled of peppermint and butter. He reached for her face, his thumb tracing her jaw.
“You’ve always had such pale, translucent skin,” he murmured, his eyes trained on her cheek. “You are the most beautiful thing in Marsleigh and all of London, Lucy. I worry about you all the time. This world is too harsh for you. It will do anything to leave a stain on you. Destroy you.”
Lucy shivered. It was a strange feeling to have at her brother’s touch. She reminded herself that this was Joshua. He could be a little too much, but she was always safe with him. He just made her feel trapped at times. Well, most of the time.
“I am not the most beautiful woman in London, and you know it, Joshua,” she scolded him. “Have you seen my friends, Victoria and Daphne? I am not made of porcelain, do remember that. I am your sister.”
“You’ve just said the words I wanted you to remember,” Joshua said, grinning, but his eyes looked different. They were hard for some reason.
What was going on with her brother? Did he take their mother’s and father’s deaths harder than she had originally thought?
“You are my responsibility, Lucy. You are my pride and what is left of our family. Anyway, I’ve prepared your tea. Drink it. You need it to keep your strength. Do not fade away just like everything else in this family.”
Lucy obeyed. She didn’t really have a choice. That was the feeling she sometimes had in her brother’s presence. It was why she wanted to rebel even for just one night and shed her delicate persona.
Her movements were mechanical and stiff, and for good reason. Every time she sipped from her teacup, his eyes were on her.
Did he have to check if she was drinking everything as if she were a child?
His devotion was suffocating, and she had to choke back a sob.
She told herself that she was fortunate to have a brother who cared about her, while others might have been off looking for other things—vices, women, and other preoccupations.
Joshua did not forget his family, or what was left of it.
Lucy dropped her napkin, and Joshua was already reaching for it before she could retrieve it. He handed it to her, much to her surprise and bewilderment.
Then, she heard heavy footsteps approach. It was the butler. Lucy silently thanked the heavens for small mercies.
“My Lord, My Lady, the Duchess of Hawksford is here for Lady Lucy.”
“Her Grace is here at this hour? It is still time for breakfast,” Joshua grumbled, his face darkening at the thought of receiving Lucy’s friend too early. He liked taking it slow in the morning.
Lucy might agree with him up to a point, but she was happy to hear from Victoria, especially at that moment.
Victoria swept into the room, as regal and confident as ever. Joshua could no longer protest, with the whirlwind of silk, lace, and buzzing energy entering without the need for permission.
“My Lord, forgive me for intruding on your breakfast, but I am here to seek your sister’s assistance on a matter of great importance. Our dear Melody is inconsolable this morning and wants to see Auntie Lucy as soon as possible. My daughter misses my dearest friend’s doting.”
Joshua stood up and gave a perfunctory bow, but was immediately on the defensive.
“Good day to you, Your Grace. Lucy is feeling a little poorly this morning. She looks a little delicate, and a noisy nursery visit may not be what she needs at the moment,” he declared, a frown still marring his face.
Victoria was completely unaffected by his mood, though. She laughed heartily, but her eyes issued a challenge.
“Absolute nonsense! What Lucy needs is fresh air, combined with the laughter of a child she adores. Those are the best medicines for someone who is always locked up in her own home. However, I do respect her time and will bring her back before nightfall. I am certain that you won’t be a hindrance to a toddler’s wish, My Lord? ”
Joshua’s jaw was set, and his eyes narrowed on Lucy for a few more moments before he finally nodded.
“Very well. She may have to wear a heavy cloak to brave the elements.”
And that was that.
Soon, Lucy was in Victoria’s carriage, letting out a breath that had been trapped in her chest for too long.
“Your brother was not pleased to see me at all, Lucy,” Victoria said softly. “He shouldn’t think that you’d break anytime you have to leave Marsleigh. It isn’t healthy.”
Lucy sighed, shaking her head. Her mind was still fixated on what had happened the night before. She also did not want to linger on her brother’s eccentricities.
“I’d rather not talk about Joshua. I already spend so much time with him,” she complained.
“Oh, that’s absolutely fair. Daniel was also strict to a point, but not quite like that.
My brother simply felt guilty about not having been there to protect us from our cruel father, but he gave us enough freedom.
Then again, there are five of us. Perhaps that was the reason he was not quite as restrictive,” Victoria mused.
“I still don’t understand your brother.”
After the short rant, the carriage fell into silence.
Lucy looked at her friend. Even with Victoria’s vibrance, it was clear that taking care of her toddler while nurturing a life within her was taking a toll on her. She was glad that she agreed to see Melody. Perhaps her friend could take a little break.
At Hawksford House, Daphne was waiting in the parlor, much to Lucy’s delight. She rose from her seat, resting her embroidery so that she could properly greet the new arrivals. The three then settled on the sofa.
“Well?” Victoria prompted, her eyes dancing. “Tell us everything! From the door to wherever you ended up. Are the rumors about him true? I heard that he can make you forget your own name. Did you?”
Daphne did not say anything, but looked just as curious. With the twins on either side of her, Lucy almost wished she had something thrilling to share.
“I, uh,” she began, feeling embarrassed. “I would not know. I am so sorry. I did not even make it past the back door. Does this mean he will return your money?”
“That does not matter, Lucy.” Victoria waved a dismissive hand. “But why did you leave without even meeting the man?”
“What happened?” Daphne asked. “Did you have to leave in a rush? Did anyone see you or your driver?”
“No. The alley was empty, except for one man,” Lucy explained, feeling a mix of emotions as the memory came back to her. “It was the Duke of Stonewynn. Your brother.”
“Daniel?” Victoria’s jaw slackened in shock. “What was my brother doing in St. Clair’s neighborhood at midnight?”
“I have no idea,” Lucy replied, burying her face in her hands.
A fresh wave of embarrassment washed over her as she realized the gravity of last night’s events.
The Duke of Stonewynn had caught her in a compromising position, so close to knocking on a male escort’s door. How desperate. How scandalous. Even though he called her innocent and not fit for the night, he probably thought she was in the habit of soliciting the services of a man of the night.
“He heard the driver call me Lady Lucy. He said I was too innocent for the night and had me running away from that back alley.”
“He has no right to interfere in your private affairs!” Victoria cried. She rose and paced the room, suddenly forgetting her own exhaustion. “What was he doing there? Why would he be seeking Valentine’s company? That cannot be good.”
“Daniel will not say a word about what he saw,” Daphne promised gently, much calmer than her twin. “He has a sense of honor, although I don’t know why he would be there with St. Clair. Perhaps Adrian had led him there, but for what?”
“It was humiliating!” Lucy confessed, although she harbored no ill will toward the twins. “You said it would be safe and discreet.”
“We are so sorry, Lucy,” Victoria said, sounding truly penitent. “We never thought that Daniel would be there. He had never been to Valentine St. Clair’s, I swear! Was Theo there, too? Daniel is often with him in their gentlemen’s clubs if he’s not buried under his ledgers.”
“No, he was all alone. Please do not speak of him again, and do not mention what happened last night,” Lucy begged.
“We promise not to breathe a word about it again,” Daphne said softly.
Soon, they heard the sound of pattering feet, followed by a soft giggle. It was Melody! Lucy’s nerves finally calmed just from the sound of the little girl’s voice.
“Wucy! Wucy here!” the bubbly toddler shrieked as she half-stumbled toward Lucy, who felt so much happier than she had ever been in the past few days.
Suddenly, everything that had been weighing her down lifted as she knelt on the rug, catching the little girl into her arms. Melody smelled like milk, soap, and flowers. The sweet innocence brought Lucy back to where she should be.
“Hello to my favorite girl,” she murmured into Melody’s hair, heart swelling with love and gratitude.
Soon, the two were playing with Melody’s battered wooden doll. The little girl babbled, and Lucy nodded as if she could understand every word.
Even as she laughed and smiled at the little girl’s efforts to play and converse, her thoughts kept drifting back to the imposing man who had put an end to either the biggest adventure—or the biggest mistake—of her life.