Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
“Oh, it’s merely the polite thing to do.”
As the music in the background died down, the ringing silence in Lucy’s ears blended with Daniel’s words after the dance.
Just as quickly as he had offered to dance with her, he had destroyed any false notions she might have considered entertaining.
Ah, but she was merely young and naive, with an imagination that transcended her senses. The sensations she felt during the dance were nothing more than her imagination.
Thinking about it once more filled her with shame. She would never forget how cold and clinical Daniel sounded when he said that he had danced with her merely out of politeness.
Everything he did—from the way his thumb traced the line of her palm to the press of his fingers against her back—was nothing more than a response to the call of duty. He merely thought it right to perform an act of charity for his sister’s spinster friend.
Despite the humiliation, Lucy vowed not to show how his dismissive words wounded her deeply. She dug her fingernails into her palms.
“You look a little pale. Did the dancing tire you?” Joshua asked, his anger suddenly replaced by concern.
His voice sounded like a velvet noose that was slowly tightening around her throat. He sounded like he should, a brother who had lost the rest of their family, but she wished he would give her some space to think for herself. To give her a chance to make mistakes.
Soon, his hand landed on her elbow once more, as if it were its rightful place. He looked almost paternal, making her feel guilty for her rebellious thoughts.
“I am fine, merely breathless from dancing,” she said, which was partly true. “I have not danced at balls in a long time. Whose fault do you think that is?”
Even she was surprised at how sharp her reply was.
“Come to the side,” he said gently, guiding her toward a quiet alcove.
“I should have known that it would be too much for you. The noise and the heat are enough to make you feel ill. Then, there was Stonewynn, who can be very overwhelming. Then again, one of his sisters must have persuaded him to invite you to dance.”
Lucy bit back a retort. Joshua was not making her feel better by confirming her fears.
He led her to a scarlet velvet settee, letting her sit before he sat beside her.
“I was worried about you,” he continued, and she grew angry with herself for not saying anything.
“There was nothing to worry about. My friends simply wanted to ensure I wasn’t standing alone with the rest of the wallflowers.”
“The Duke does not like balls, so it was quite surprising to see him lead you to the dance floor. It bothered me because he is a cryptic man. I don’t know what he means by dancing with you, knowing that you don’t have any suitors.”
“Again, isn’t that your fault, Joshua?” Lucy asked, trying to keep her voice soft.
Her brother seemed genuinely concerned. What if he knew more about Daniel than he let on?
“For you, he is Victoria’s brother. He feels like a family friend.
That can make things a lot more dangerous for you, as you may think it easier to trust him.
We also need to understand that he lives in a different world than we do.
He has a higher rank, and yet he also likes to explore disreputable corners of London. ”
Lucy almost exhaled audibly. Her brother did not know that she had been exploring some disreputable corners as well. The place was even more scandalous than a tavern.
She looked down at her hands, which were clasped together on her lap.
They had held Daniel’s. They knew what his shoulders felt like, muscular and solid.
She had felt no fear during that dance. She supposed it was the most annoying thing of all.
Then again, perhaps it was a sign that he didn’t have any designs on her. She was merely a pity dance.
“You’ve heard the man, Joshua. He was merely being polite,” Lucy explained patiently.
“Victoria and her sisters were invited to dance by each of their husbands. If I were left standing there, the truth would be more glaring. I had been attending social events for a few Seasons now, and I have not had even a caller or two. He was kind enough not to want me to be embarrassed.”
She realized that she was telling these words to herself, too.
She needed to be reminded that Daniel might have done right by her.
After all, she was nothing but a stranger to him.
He was amused by having caught her in front of Valentine St. Clair’s back entrance.
That was it. He was discreet enough not to have said anything to anyone, and that was something she was grateful for.
“Kindness?” Joshua tutted, giving her a pitying look.
He reached out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, reminiscent of how gentle he could be with her even when they were children.
“Your heart is pure, Lucy. That is why you see people as good. Didn’t you know that Stonewynn is a mysterious man?
When he was young, he explored the Continent to sate his appetite.
Now, he’s exploring London’s filthiest corners.
That man did not dance with you out of kindness.
Perhaps he was persuaded by his sisters, but kindness? No.”
“Politeness,” Lucy corrected, although her throat felt thick.
Was she that naive? She had seen Daniel in that alley when she was about to meet with Valentine St. Clair. It looked like he was about to meet the escort, too. But for what? Underground deals? Was he seeking discreet female escorts?
She could feel herself turning cold.
“Yes, politeness,” Joshua agreed. “After all, the ton is expected to be at least polite, even when some people gossip behind each other’s backs.
The Duke knows how powerful he is. He is aware that a girl who is unused to men’s attentions can be easily seduced into believing that he cares.
He likes to play games and steal a girl’s heart for the sole purpose of showing that he can do it.
Then, he quickly crushes it with such a statement. Out of politeness. Bah!”
Lucy was feeling even more foolish by the minute. Her brother was right. She was in no position to understand the way the world worked. The way men thought. Perhaps Joshua was right to shield her the way he did. Men saw her as vulnerable, and some might even exploit that fact.
“He isn’t cruel,” she protested, but her words sounded weak even to her own ears.
“Look at me, Lucy,” Joshua urged, reaching for her hand.
She flinched ever so slightly, and he looked at her as if wounded.
“I know what the predators of this world look like. Perhaps Stonewynn is better than most. His title and wealth certainly help. However, he is still a man. Even though you are his sister’s friend, men will always have not-so-innocent intentions.
You are a sheltered woman and may present something that can be both easy and hard for him.
Why would a man like him skulk in the shadows? What secrets does he have?”
Lucy was tempted to ask him what someone like her would like to do in the shadows, because she had found it tempting enough to meet a man—an escort, no less—to pursue the pleasures of being a woman without being judged.
What if Daniel Brighton was simply searching for something similar?
Then again, why was she defending the man who had just carelessly hurt her feelings?
“I am not as naive as you think I am,” she said testily.
Joshua didn’t seem to hear her. “If you were to lose your heart to someone like the Duke, I believe I would have failed our father’s memory.”
“You are right,” she exhaled, feeling emotional all of a sudden.
Whenever he mentioned their father or their mother, she remembered how alone they were in this world.
“I don’t want you to fret about me. You are right.
I do listen, you know, but I’m tired. As a wallflower, I am also simply relieved that I did not become the talk of the ton.
Being an unmarried woman can be horribly difficult, Joshua. I hope you can see that.”
“Of course, I do,” Joshua said. His voice was gentle, but she detected a somewhat triumphant edge. “Let’s go home. I am glad we came only because it is another opportunity to learn about this world.”
She wondered if he truly meant that. Her brother might be her protector, but sometimes she wondered just what he was trying to shield her from.
“Indeed,” she whispered.
As they made their way to the exit, Lucy could not help but scan the crowd for Daniel. She wished she could truly read his mind, know its depths.
What kind of man teased when they were alone and acted as if she were nobody to him when other people were present?