Chapter 11
Chapter Eleven
“You look radiant. Beautiful,” Victoria breathed, her hands clasped to her chest.
Lucy looked at her friend gratefully. Victoria always knew when to ease the tension. In this case, she knew exactly when to break the silence that followed Daniel’s entrance.
“The midnight blue makes your skin glow like porcelain. Doesn’t she look magnificent, Richard? Daniel?”
Lucy felt her cheeks warm and could only imagine how red they had gotten.
While her dress was more revealing than the drab grey one, it was still not quite as daring as the ones she had seen on some of the debutantes.
Yet, she felt so exposed. Her hand flew to her chest, as if it could shield her from Daniel’s scrutiny.
“I—I don’t need a new dress, Victoria,” she stammered. “Especially not something like this.”
“Something like that?” Richard shook his head. “Nonsense. You look elegant in it, and Victoria is right to compliment you for it.”
Daniel remained where he was, as if frozen in time. His eyes had become a turbulent blue, burning like a cold fire. Lucy felt like he was fighting a battle from within. He clenched his jaw as if he were trying to prevent something from escaping.
Then again, he was probably just displeased. He could be annoyed at the idea of seeing her again. Right here.
“It is, uh, acceptable,” he choked out, sounding stiff.
Did he look a little pale, too? She could not be certain.
“It is certainly a significant improvement over the dresses I had seen you wearing before. It is quite appropriate for a warm day in the garden.”
His complexion changed from pale to red. It was somewhat funny, but it was also confusing. The compliment sounded forced, making Lucy’s heart sink.
Of course.
It was not much of a surprise. Since his youth, Daniel was used to seeing the beauties of Rome and Paris, and she was nothing more than a child playing dress-up with a little nudge from her friend.
“A warm day in the garden?” Victoria repeated incredulously. “She would be the belle of the Season!”
“Thank you,” Lucy said softly, giving her friend a grateful look. “If you will excuse me, I must return to the changing room. I believe I’ve worn this dress far too long for it to be polite.”
To be fair, she had no idea how long it would be polite for her to wear the dress at all.
She simply could not believe how beautiful it was and how luxurious it felt.
As far as she could remember, her dresses were closer in quality to this one when she was younger, but as time went by, Joshua had somehow become stricter about her attire.
As she retreated behind the curtain once more, she could not help but shiver.
Daniel’s stare still heated her skin, but it turned out he was merely being politely disapproving.
Her fingers trembled as she fumbled with the dress.
Madame Cecile had offered her assistance, but she murmured that she would call if she needed it.
Why did it matter what he thought of her in a dress? This dress?
Outside, Victoria and Madame Cecile discussed the alterations that the Duchess’s dresses would require as her figure continued to change. Richard remained at his wife’s side, from what Lucy could hear.
“It feels like yesterday when Victoria and I did not quite know what to make of our marriage. Now, we are shopping for maternity lace and silks together.”
“Indeed, time passes by quickly,” Daniel agreed contemplatively. “It is still so strange for me to see her as a woman of poise and not someone climbing horses and walls.”
“I believe she is still capable of those if we let her,” Richard chuckled. “I also remember how protective you were of her, always ready to challenge me to a duel.”
“Indeed.”
Lucy wondered if Joshua’s overprotectiveness also had a limit, such as Daniel’s.
“It was complicated for me, back then. You two were not together during the first year of your marriage, and I did not know you well. I didn’t want my sister to be a victim of some strange man’s whim. I am her brother, and it is my job to ensure her safety and happiness.”
“What changed your mind?” Richard asked.
“I saw her look at you, as well as the way you looked at her. I saw love there. Perhaps I didn’t want to see it, but I had to. I stepped back because I knew it wasn’t my job to rule her life. She has her own mind and a life that she must live.”
In the changing room, Lucy was already lacing up her gray dress. She pondered Daniel’s words and wondered when Joshua would ever think the same.
When would her brother set her free?
She left the changing room only to find Richard watching Victoria like one would watch a goddess. This was the woman he had married. This was the woman he lived with. Yet, he looked as if he had not seen her before, as if her very appearance was a miracle.
Lucy felt longing so sharp that she had to clutch her chest. She watched as Richard kissed her friend’s knuckles before gently caressing her belly.
“There has never been any doubt in my mind that you are the most beautiful woman in any room, Victoria,” Richard murmured.
Madame Cecile looked like she was about to swoon. Daniel shuffled from one foot to the other.
Lucy took a deep breath and approached the small group.
Her posture was more bent in the gray dress.
She knew it was unflattering, but she had no choice.
Her life was different from Victoria’s, and there were times when she felt absolutely plain.
She had never felt truly seen because Joshua always extinguished little flames before they blazed.
Daniel’s eyes were on his sister, complimenting her. “You do look marvelous, Sister. It pains me to say so, but you look like a glowing bride.”
“Not quite what you imagined I would be, huh, Daniel?” Victoria quipped. “You thought I would be the most unlikely mother.”
“And yet you are doing well with Melody, and will do well with the new baby,” Daniel said, sounding sincere.
Richard moved to the counter to settle the bill. He had bought the new dress Victoria chose and paid for the alterations to the older dresses.
Lucy was not envious. However, she could not help but hope that Joshua would finally realize she needed a wardrobe to be noticed by suitors. He was always pushing her to wear the most unsightly dresses.
“Are you buying the blue dress, Lucy?” Victoria asked, looking eager.
Lucy knew that her friend was thrilled for her when she had tried on the dress, but she could not help but disappoint her.
“No, I can’t,” she said softly. “It’s too improper.”
“Improper? Nonsense,” Victoria chided her gently. “Lucy, please. It looked wonderful on you.”
“Let me buy it for you,” Richard offered with a smile.
“Your Grace, I don’t want to impose,” Lucy protested.
“Let him!” Victoria insisted. “It would be a tragedy to leave that dress here. If you don’t let Richard buy it, I will buy it for you.”
“Joshua will never allow me to wear it, so it will merely be a waste of money. I am also a spinster now, out for a few Seasons and not attracting even a single suitor. Wearing midnight silk would be, in people’s minds, a sign of desperation.”
“At twenty-two?” Victoria sputtered, looking aghast. “You’re certainly far from a corpse, but your brother wants you to act like one!”
Lucy sighed and shook her head. She would not purchase the dress, nor would she let anyone else do it for her. She could not take the risk. The midnight blue dress represented false hopes.
Even though Victoria looked slightly disgruntled, they left the shop without the dress. Their outing was not over, though. They made their way toward Hyde Park, where the air was crisp and fragrant with fresh blooms. The scent of the damp earth added to the allure of the day.
Richard and Victoria walked ahead, arm in arm. Lucy could tell that they were lost in their own world. It did not seem like it mattered if words were spoken. Shared glances and occasional whispers were enough for the two.
Lucy had no choice but to walk alongside Daniel. She did not know what to say. They didn’t really know each other and appeared not to have anything in common.
“It’s a good day for a walk, isn’t it?” Daniel asked, sounding grave.
Lucy almost chuckled at the seriousness with which he spoke the mundane words.
“Certainly. However, while it might be a little cooler at the moment, it might warm later, and I would be roasting under the heat,” she replied, making light of her gray dress.
“Mhm. I did wonder why you chose the dress. Your dress’s relationship with the weather is just like the park’s gravel paths. Some of them are easier to navigate than others, making the walk pleasant.”
Again, he spoke in the same somber tone. Lucy wondered if he was jesting or if he was truly just that serious.
“I suppose we cannot always control the quality of our walks. However, the Duchess is certainly happy,” Lucy noted, her eyes on the couple walking ahead of them.
“She certainly is,” Daniel agreed, his hands clasped behind his back as they walked.
He walked at a pace that matched her own, and she could not help but smile at that.
“Victoria is much different from how she used to be. She was wild and reckless—a hoyden. In the country, she was free and careless, and whenever she was in London, she felt confined by the walls. Not just the physical ones.”
“Oh,” Lucy murmured. “I can relate to that. The walls can feel so thick that it is hard to breathe.”
Why did she say that? She regretted uttering those words. Why would he care what walls were closing in on her?
“Was that why I found you in that dark alley?” Daniel asked, after chancing a glance at her. “Was trying to meet with St. Clair a way out of your walls?”
“No. I was merely trying to see what it is like beyond the world I have been confined in,” Lucy admitted, her breath catching at the mention of the secret they had kept so far. “I knew I was going to be a spinster.”
She stopped before she could reveal more. She wanted to say that, since she had no hopes of marrying, taking pleasure in a male escort’s company did not feel wrong. She was no longer saving herself for anyone.
Not really.
“You can be free of your walls without having to confine yourself in another,” Daniel said, smiling softly.
Lucy was surprised to see the light in his eyes. His smile was genuine. Or was it another confusing moment? Perhaps he was merely being polite.
Whatever the case might be, she had to admit that she liked it when he mellowed down a little.
“The world is much larger, Lady Lucy,” he continued.
“I realized that when I explored the Continent. Yes, part of it was escape, but it was also about finding out what the world could offer. When I was in the Alps, I was able to feel closer to the clouds. Nature. I didn’t just visit the cities where libertines found more ways to enjoy themselves.
No. I was out there, trying to get as close to the skies as possible.
I tore down the walls that defined me. Within civilization, I found places that were built differently from ours, and it was a moment of clarity for me. ”
Lucy looked up at him with wonder. Daniel was a handsome man, but something else seemed to glow from within him as he talked about his travels.
“You’ve seen so much,” she breathed.
His words made her realize just how little she knew of the world and how she had been limited even in the small space that she occupied.
“Yes. I’ve seen, heard, and smelled so many things,” Daniel murmured, nodding.
“In hindsight, I had been so fortunate. I can still smell the spices in Constantinople. I can still remember how I devoured dishes in every place. Each meal held a story of a proud culture. Of people who searched for their truths.”
“I would have loved to see these things,” Lucy whispered, suddenly melancholy. “It sounds like an adventure of a lifetime.”
“It can be,” Daniel said with a light shrug. “It was a form of escape, too. Regrets followed me even as my senses feasted. My sisters—”
He paused. He sounded like she was earlier, slightly guarded. He probably was also uncertain about sharing too much.
Lucy did not prod.
“You experienced in that short period what I could never in a lifetime,” she said wistfully. “I am also a woman. What you can enjoy as a gentleman living on your own is impossible for someone like me. I will have to be married or chaperoned for that to happen.”
She shuddered at the thought of traveling the Continent with Joshua while wearing dresses she hated.
“I am sorry,” Daniel offered, as if he were apologizing for his masculinity.
It was the way of the world, and she wondered when it would change. If ever.
A sudden gust of wind interrupted their conversation, catching Lucy’s bonnet. It knocked it from her head as if it knew that she was covered far too much.
“Oh!” she yelped, jumping as she tried to catch her bonnet. However, the silk ribbons seemed intent on slipping through her fingers.
The bonnet, as if it had a mind of its own, cartwheeled over the grass. Both Daniel and Lucy ran after it. Once they thought they were close enough, both lunged for it at the same moment. As they reached down, their hands brushed against each other over the brim.
Lucy’s breath hitched. She had not experienced such a sensation before. It was like a bolt of lightning traveling from his skin to hers.
What was that?
When the two of them looked up, they bumped each other’s heads. They chuckled a little. When their gazes met, she could see flecks of gold in his blue eyes. They looked serene at that moment, at ease. It was quick, but it seemed his features became more pronounced even under his trimmed beard.
The mask was down.
The world around them—Hyde Park and its people—seemed to vanish, and all she could think of was where their fingers touched.
Daniel did not pull away from her, his hand remaining close to hers. His thumb brushed over her knuckles longer than she had thought possible. It might have been brief, but for her, it felt like a lifetime—a connection.
Tension thrummed between the two of them. She could feel it. She wondered if he could as well.
“Here it is,” he said unnecessarily, but the words must be said. They must cut through the crackling tension that made her whole body tremble.
Daniel straightened up fully, handing her bonnet back to her. Their gazes were still locked.
“Thank you, Your Grace,” Lucy rasped, her throat suddenly dry. She tried to keep her trembling hands steady as she reached for her bonnet.
Daniel looked startled at her reply. He made a visible retreat, even though his eyes were still on her. Lucy nodded, as if acknowledging their return to reality.
They resumed their walk, the silence between them heavy.