Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
No words.
Lucy Coulson was a spinster. Nobody expected her to talk too much. But before Joshua had restricted her freedom, she had words to say about most things.
Tonight, or that early morning as dawn threatened to reveal their tryst, Lucy could barely breathe.
She could barely talk. The sound of their ragged breathing filled the air, mingling with the distant chirping of crickets.
It also felt hotter inside the greenhouse as they clung to each other for a while.
It was goodbye, sweet and lustful, but it was still a goodbye. His arms surrounded her, and she leaned against his shoulder while he stroked her hair. She needed to stop the world from spinning before she let go. Her sex still throbbed deliciously.
Daniel pressed a kiss to her forehead while his fingers traced the velvet wrapped around her.
“You should be made to feel like this every single night,” he whispered in her ear.
Those words were enough to make her inner walls clench. She was also acutely aware of the wetness between her legs.
“Your body was made for pleasure and your heart for joy, Lucy. Don’t forget that,” he continued, his voice cracking a little.
Then, he kissed her once more. He promised her one, but this kiss was slower. It felt like a promise to someone who had illusions about what they had, but Lucy accepted, albeit painfully, that he was merely saying goodbye.
She looked up at him through teary eyes. She blinked and gave him a smile. She would not cry. After all, Daniel had been clear about what he wanted and what he could give.
With that in mind, her smile became easier. More genuine.
“Thank you, Daniel,” she whispered.
He smoothed her hair with both hands, looking like a picture of regret. Perhaps she was merely reading more into it, but perhaps she also deserved her fantasy.
“Your… virtue is still intact, Lucy. I have not ruined you, though I am afraid that you… you’ve ruined me. I was tempted to discard my honor when I felt you clench my fingers. Heard you—”
He stopped himself then. His eyes seemed to plead with her. Why and for what? Forgiveness?
There was nothing to forgive. She had wanted it, too.
“I know what it would be like to be ruined,” she replied playfully, tightening her robe around herself. “Victoria told me what the final act is like. She said it involves fewer clothing, if any, and a—”
“All right,” Daniel interrupted, clearing his throat. He looked uncomfortable at the mention of his youngest sister’s involvement in the education of Lucy. “Victoria needs to learn to hush.”
They chuckled softly.
“Well, where else would I have gotten that information? Certainly not from my brother,” Lucy said, shuddering at the thought.
Their laughter died down then. They were left with the silence of clarity.
Daniel dropped his shoulders and gave her a smile that looked like a wince. He took both of her hands in his own and squeezed them tightly.
“Live your life, Lucy,” he urged. “Wear the dresses you like. Dance to the music you enjoy. Tell people how you feel. And, most importantly, do not let Joshua prevent you from achieving happiness.”
Lucy wanted to tell him that it was no longer Joshua preventing her from achieving happiness. It was Daniel himself because he chose to spend his life hunting ghosts.
“You deserve to live, too, Daniel. It can’t be just about pursuing your search for whoever it is. Whatever it is.”
He again gave her that tight smile. It looked like he could not fathom the idea of ever achieving happiness, even as he advised her to seek her own.
She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed the knuckles that made her heart ache.
She would have to remember every moment because there would not be any more after this.
“Go back inside. Dawn will be breaking soon. Your brother should not catch you outside.”
She nodded.
She slipped out of the greenhouse, moving swiftly across dewy grass. Then, she entered the same way she had snuck out. Soon, she was navigating the familiar darkness until she reached her room.
In her room, she padded to the window just in time to see his fleeing silhouette. His tall figure became clearer as streaks of orange announced the arrival of dawn. Still, he was quick and nimble, soon vanishing from her street.
She breathed a sigh of relief.
Daniel had to spend his pent-up energy on several things to survive the next few days.
Normally, his mind was pure logic. He would have a path to follow, a list of things to do. He would be focused on the hunt for Moses Gordon and the man who had hired him.
As soon as he woke up in the morning, his mind would already be on what he could do to keep the trail warm. The thread would always be tightly wound, always pulling him toward his next step.
Today, and all the days after, he had pleasured Lucy in the greenhouse, the thread had frayed. He was in danger of snapping and losing his trail. Not the one that led to Moses Gordon, but the one that kept him sane.
While studying the list of people who frequented docks and the vessels that might have been used for escape, he saw her instead. He would see midnight blue instead of ocean blue, and a slender arm instead of the silhouette of the man who had set the house in Suffolk on fire.
When he should be interrogating a contact about places Moses Gordon could be hiding in, he would hear her moans growing louder as she reached her pinnacle. He could feel her mouth on the palm of his hand, hot and wanting.
He was distracted, and the investigation became a chore. It was no longer what he lived for every single day. The grim necessity that was his revenge was now a hindrance between him and Lucy.
Daniel had said goodbye, and she had somehow accepted it. He had thought he would be relieved that she had accepted his wishes, but now he wondered if all she had wanted was pleasure.
After all, she was a woman who had once almost entered Valentine St. Clair’s home just for that.
He would sometimes ride past Hyde Park, hoping to see her bonnet. He listened in on his sisters’ conversations. There were no sightings. No stories. Nothing about her.
How could that be?
Daniel’s heart used to hammer with the excitement and fear of the hunt, but now it did the same thing painfully because he didn’t know where she was. He wanted to see her so badly, but knew it was not a good idea. He would ruin her, and then he would not have any choice but to marry her.
No, he should finish what he had started first.
He slammed a fist on his desk in frustration. A few sketches and maps littered the mahogany surface, covering the ledgers that should be his only concern.
“I must find Kenneth’s killer,” he muttered.
While he tried to force himself to think of all the clues, all he could think about was how he’d like to give Lucy the good news afterward so that they could “revisit” whatever this was.
He might not even keep his promise. He might not survive. Or, he could do both, but he would lose her anyway because she could not wait any longer.
Lucy wanted freedom from her brother. What if she found someone else who could give it to her posthaste?
For the first time, Daniel wanted to know what the future could bring beyond justice. Beyond Moses Gordon’s arrest.